| 00:00.00 | Max Shank | Hello everybody welcome back to the max and mike Monday morning podcast today I'm pretty excited because we're going to talk about choices. We're going to talk about the difference between a mistake and an error and we're going to talk about the difference between a good choice. And a good outcome and you might think those are the same thing but actually they are not. You can make a good choice and have a bad outcome. You can make a bad choice and have a good outcome and if you want learning to really take place. It's very important to understand the difference between those. So. If you listen up today I'm confident that we're all going to make better choices that give us the result that we're looking for so thanks for tuning in mikey good to see you. |
| 00:48.15 | mikebledsoe | Good to see you? Yeah 1 of the reasons we chose this topic and by the way we usually choose the topic about 5 to ten minutes before we hit the record button and um, yeah I did a a mushroom ceremony a few days ago where. I was basically shown all the mistakes that I'm still paying for in my life right now. So as max had ah guessed accurately was I had my own personal hell for about 3 hours and it was. |
| 01:06.73 | Max Shank | Um, now. |
| 01:23.48 | mikebledsoe | Even though it was my own person at hell for a few hours it was really enlightening and and getting very ah getting to be at peace with what I had was witnessing as mistakes I'd made that I was currently paying for and also ah. Experiencing a lot of sadness around it and then by the next morning feeling a little better about it by the next the morning after that feeling even better and having an action plan on how I can more methodically pay off those. Mistakes or errors more quickly so I can get on with my life because yeah, as much as we would like to for me, it's it's as if I I've learned the lesson that came with oh that was i. |
| 02:03.19 | Max Shank | A. |
| 02:20.38 | mikebledsoe | Did not get the outcome I was looking for there that was not what I wanted to happen and I learned that years ago, but my bank account is still having to you know is money's being siphoned off for those mistakes. Even years later even though the lessons been learned so it's ah. It's an interesting life process that we're all in where we usually pay for those mistakes a little longer than we'd like to. |
| 02:48.17 | Max Shank | Always longer than we like to ah personally I want no negative consequences for any of my actions. But I think you bring up a good point because making choices is actually the only thing that we do. Everything is outsourced from choice making right? So. The only thing that we personally do is make choices even if that choice is to raise your arm up in the air you are making the choice but then your body It's getting outsourced to your body and then your body does that little task and. You know I'm pretty critical of all forms of media including podcasts because I think most media is a colossal waste of time now. That being said I think you can basically split up content. Into 2 categories better choice making which would be learning and entertainment and that's all if what you're consuming informationally content wise is not helping you better make better choices. Then it better be entertaining at least Otherwise what the hell are you doing and since that's entertainment.. That's that's 1 hundred percent ah mental masturbation like I don't like to watch horror movies but tons of people do so. |
| 04:07.71 | mikebledsoe | So I just want to be scared. Yeah, that's true. |
| 04:19.24 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 04:22.32 | Max Shank | Once again I'm not really into Kink shaming So like whatever you want to do to get your rocks off. But I think it's important to not pretend. It's something different and there's a lot of time invested into mental masturbation and if you think about. Differentiating between. Okay I'm going to consume this information so that I make better choices or I'm just going to flat out entertain myself. So It's important I think to not confuse those 2 things and for me. It's actually quite liberating because that itself is a valuable decision that enables me to be more mindful with what I'm doing.. There's no pretension for me when I'm consuming information I'm either consuming this because I think it's going to help me make better choices in the Future. Going to give me more of the results that I'm after or I'm just entertaining myself and it doesn't matter. Ah what your flavor is, but it's entertainment and then you also don't feel like oh I'm always I'm always trying to. |
| 05:29.24 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 05:35.82 | Max Shank | Learn new things. It's like yeah you know some of the stuff I learn. It's not really practical right now. But of course you never know. |
| 05:43.21 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean what you're getting at there is ah your you're intentional. You're intentional about oh I'm going to sit down and be entertained. Um, yeah. |
| 05:55.57 | Max Shank | And there's no shame there. There's no shame there. Whatever you like. |
| 05:59.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, my my intention a lot of times is to is to play. My intention is to let loose have a good time and play you know sometimes you know in the the plant Medicine Psychedelic World Community There's always this. |
| 06:06.25 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 06:18.99 | mikebledsoe | There's this heavy emphasis on setting an intention before you you take your get into take your substance and get into your experience and for years my intention was always to learn something and to get something out of it and then over time I go oh my intention. |
| 06:31.44 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 06:38.85 | mikebledsoe | 1 of the things I learned during during a ceremony is I go oh I can ah my intention could to be to enjoy myself and to play and that is just as valuable as anything else. |
| 06:45.70 | Max Shank | Right. |
| 06:51.76 | Max Shank | That in itself is a very valuable decision. Um I was mentioning to you before we hit record that I've been really getting into tennis a lot lately. I actually have a lesson on Wednesday with a guy who trains at my gym. Juan. And he's awesome and 1 of the most valuable pieces of information I learned about tennis is that there's a very important decision before you hit every ball and so we played we did this drill. And it was called offense defense and before you start your swing that is the first choice you have to make am I going to hit this ball offensively or am I gonna hit this ball defensively. And now when I'm playing matches I notice if I make a mistake with that choice right away I'll be like ah that should have been a defensive shot where I'll go oh I had time for that to be an offensive shot so that has been a huge improvement. |
| 07:57.29 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 08:06.53 | Max Shank | In my overall game because now there's no confusion as to the first choice that needs to be made I need to quickly decide. Okay do I have the opportunity to attack this ball offensively or is it important to. Hit a defensive shot so I can keep the rally going so I have time to maybe get an offensive opportunity later because tennis is 1 of the few. Yes, definitely tennis is 1 of those few sports where if you make an error. Ah your opponent gets a point. |
| 08:29.47 | mikebledsoe | Or a better 1 |
| 08:41.14 | Max Shank | You know in a lot of other sports if you make an error you don't necessarily get punished with a point loss immediately. But if you miss a shot in tennis your opponent actually gets a point so you speaking of paying for mistakes you pay for every error that you make. |
| 08:56.77 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well 1 of the things you said before we hopped on as well was ah we don't make mistakes we only make choices and a mistake is something that we can only look back on and notice and go oh and then which which. Occurs to me as you're just judging the choice because you didn't get the outcome. You're looking for and then that yeah, it's labeled retroactively and then ah going and then you continue to say something else, but this ties into what we. |
| 09:19.90 | Max Shank | Yeah, it's labeled retroactively. |
| 09:32.97 | mikebledsoe | 1 of the things we were talking about last show and that is making the right choice. None of is the last show or 1 of the previous shows making the right choice may not result in the desired outcome and so so. |
| 09:46.68 | Max Shank | Exactly. |
| 09:51.49 | mikebledsoe | You know, ah putting all the weight of a single choice for a specific outcome is is probably it experience. You're probably experiencing a little bit of tunnel vision because there's so many things that contribute to the outcome where outcomes. Ah and it's ah yeah, just. Got me thinking more and more about okay I've made choices which didn't give me the outcomes I desired and now I'm paying for them and and my judgment of those is to call it a mistake but it's also good for me to look back and go yeah that was I won't make a choice. Ah, all all. When I'm making choices that are like this I'm going to have to consider all these things that it becomes more obvious the things I didn't consider as I made those choices. |
| 10:38.80 | Max Shank | Absolutely and it also speaks to the heart of where I've been able to actually find some compassion because I used to think most people were just Evil Idiots. Ah, which is not like the most positive way to view the world. But I realize that everybody is always doing their best based on how they think and feel at the time. So based on the information they have available to them and based on their current state of mind. They're always making the best choice they can think of now a lot of times people make. Choices with their lizard brain only So they're not maybe using their full faculties but based on the tools that were available to them in that Moment. We're always making the best choice we have available and it's easy to. Judge other people because we don't really know their experience. So I think that I think that's really huge like you will be able to live a more comfortable life If You realize that people are doing the best with the faculties that are available to them. |
| 11:54.32 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 11:54.53 | Max Shank | In that moment and then you'll also be a lot more forgiving of yourself because um I can certainly speak from my own experience. But I think a lot of people who try to be high. Achievers are often very hard on themselves. And really, um, relive every mistake lots and lots of times because you're like oh I Just don't want to make that mistake again. I don't want to make that wrong choice again. So You'll be more forgiving of yourself. You'll be more compassionate of other people. And if you do that then you're going to be more in ah a love vibration instead of a fear and maybe even loathing vibration and of course then you also get to make better choices because as I said people always make the best choice based on how they think and feel. At the time. So if you feel afraid if you feel hateful if you feel judgmental you're not going to make as good a choices you're going to make Lizard brain choices. |
| 13:00.92 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 13:07.63 | Max Shank | Um, as far as the right choice but wrong outcome. Um I'll use tennis as another example so you have 2 things you have deployment and execution deployment is. What you choose to do and when you choose to do it. Execution is how you did it. So if I try to deploy an offensive shot at the right time. But I Miss. That would just be a problem with my execution. So the the way I did it wasn't very good. How I executed that decision was wrong and if you break up these choices into deployment and execution. Then you know where to correct it for next time. Because it's a totally different thing to make an error in deployment which is making the wrong choice versus an error in execution which is the skill that you used was inadequate to capitalize on the on the correct choice. |
| 14:15.50 | mikebledsoe | Go when I hear when they hear you say deployment I think strategy that it's the Ah how am I going to accomplish this this goal. |
| 14:28.48 | Max Shank | It's what you choose to do and when and the execution is the how you do it. So if you if if you deploy ah a punch at the right time if you choose a? ah. |
| 14:32.55 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 14:44.17 | Max Shank | You know the correct punch and you deploy it at the right time but you you do it too weekly or something like that or you do it too slowly or you're just off Target that would be an error. And the execution even though the choice that you made was correct. So I think of it as deployment is what and when and execution is how yeah. |
| 15:01.29 | mikebledsoe | Ah e. |
| 15:09.43 | mikebledsoe | I like that I like that well going back to that thinking about the high performers I imagine there's quite a few high performers that listen to this and going back in and dwelling on Mistakes. Ah. I I think ah so it can be a gift because that that can create a hyper performer and you just hyper analyze things. The drawback to that is all the emotional experience that comes with that or usually the emotional experience that drives that it's this It's this dwelling or this addiction to feeling that guilt and I know that's something that I dealt with at 1 point where I overindulged in feelings of guilt and ah which is really strange because if you were to ask you know people on. And a quick survey. You know, do you dwell on guilt or happiness more like wow it makes sense to dwell on being happy. But that's not necessarily the case and so there was a time in my life where I I dwelt on guilt and that. That was what was driving a lot of the the dwelling on the mistakes from the past and making sure I didn't make those same mistakes twice. So it's 1 of those things where it really was had a negative impact on the quality of my life in the moment but for but it did. Turn into a productive ah exercise now. The trick is and 1 of the things that I've learned over time is yeah, there's a lot of gifts that were given from these emotional states that cause a lot of stress or maybe aren't really that useful in in them in a. And themselves. But the product is good and so what I've learned to do better now I wouldn't say out I'm really great at it. But what I've learned to do better now is let's go okay, that was a mistake I can feel sad about making that mistake if I haven't felt it all the way through yet. But instead of instead of dwelling on it because I feel like shit but going back and being analytical and and feeling happy and feeling really excited. So 1 of the experiences I've had over the weekend is I'm really excited to put some changes in my life in order to avoid. Ah, you know making those mistakes in the future and it's you know you're doing it well because if you can get out of that lizard brain and go into the wizard wizard brain then you can come out with very ah, let's say. |
| 17:57.28 | mikebledsoe | Ah, practical things that you can do. They're going to ensure that you don't have to experience that again and then you can skip that and enjoy the success that you're looking for. |
| 18:07.94 | Max Shank | I Think you said a phrase that really speaks volumes which is you are indulging in feelings of guilt which it sounds like a ridiculous phrase. But but if you have ah. |
| 18:16.25 | mikebledsoe | Oh. |
| 18:25.46 | Max Shank | Ego self-image that thinks of yourself a certain Way. You're going to reinforce those currently held Beliefs. So I think that's extremely common, especially if you think of yourself as someone who does make good choices. And if you think of yourself as someone who is smart and conscientious and aware of things. It's going to hurt twice as bad if you make an incorrect choice. |
| 18:57.70 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah, well yeah, because now you know you make yourself pay for it in ways that you don't They're completely unnecessary. |
| 19:05.73 | Max Shank | And it kind of comes back to the emotion side of things I think of enthusiasm as social energy enthusiasm is a power in and of itself. You know there are you have force equals mass times acceleration you have work ah force times distance powers ah work over time you have all these different physics equations but enthusiasm which comes from being possessed by Spirit. Is an energy that is completely unique and it's the catalyst for a higher level of action because Hunger is the ultimate motivator right. And pain is a form of hunger so you can be operating from a place of deep hunger or even fear perhaps but when you're enthusiastic It's almost the same sort of desire which is another synonym for pain. But it's got to love. Vibration to it. So when you're operating from an enthusiastic place. You're look I don't know maybe you're gonna triple your output. You're gonna light a fire in other people like you wouldn't otherwise um. You're definitely 1 of those people who gets people excited about things like you're ah you're definitely an idea machine and you know you've called me several times over the years and I'll be like god damn that's a dumb idea and but but but even so. And you've also come to me with like a lot of brilliant ideas too. Don't give me ah, don't get me wrong here. But um, what I notice is the level of enthusiasm is contagious like I feel myself getting excited. |
| 21:14.35 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 21:15.33 | Max Shank | You know what I'm saying so that enthusiasm comes from being in a good place emotionally and as far as you know reliving the hell of your bad choices. Um, it is kind of like how we said. Depression is a luxury too being sad is a luxury like all these things are luxuries that are only available to you if you actually have all your physical needs. Met so ah. |
| 21:33.94 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 21:46.56 | Max Shank | You know the same thing if you can get to that place where you're enthusiastic. Which means that you're not punishing yourself for the past and letting your past ruin your present and future and if you find something where you can be enthusiastic about. You know sharing what you have with others you're going to make better choices and even if the choices um maybe aren't as good now I I still think. Ah, Overall you're going to make better choices if you're enthusiastic about it. You know you don't want to act too rashly I guess that would maybe be the only consideration ah with hyper enthusiasm. |
| 22:29.32 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think there's yeah well I'll speak of my own personal experience. Ah I am I'm a very enthusiastic person I I do get excited about a lot of different. Things and I get excited about my own ideas I get excited about other people's ideas or projects and um because of that I I attract a lot of people coming to me with their ideas and and looking for help and 1 of the things that I've noticed over the years is the majority of my. Some of my ideas are bad. Some of them are good and some of them are bad just because they're not for me to do I think I think a lot of my idea probably most of them are good just not for me. They're good for somebody to do ah and. |
| 23:14.32 | Max Shank | Right? um. |
| 23:20.58 | mikebledsoe | 1 things I've had to learn is that because it's easy for me to influence other people's enthusiasm and their behavior and getting them involved is there's been times where I have people on my team I get enthused about something I start talking about it. And I'm not telling anyone to do anything about it I'm just sharing the idea and then a few days goes by and I have a check in with the team and they've taken action on whatever it is I was I was discussing an idea with them and I and I was like fuck. We just wasted a few days of work because I actually didn't want. |
| 23:51.15 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 23:58.54 | mikebledsoe | Um, never even intended for you to take action on this was even my intention and now we are here we are going down this track and so I've I've had to learn how to um, be enthusiastic find specific people in my life I can share those ideas with that are not. Working for me or with me ah and to flesh them out and then I've also gotten a lot better about having ideas come in and go yeah, we'll just let that 1 I'll write it down the book write down the journal and then ah maybe I'll come back to it. You know, 2 or 3 days go by and I go. |
| 24:31.66 | Max Shank | And. |
| 24:37.50 | mikebledsoe | Yeah,, don't really want to do that. But it was cool to to dream about it. So That's just ah, yeah, little little little things that I Found. It's also good to remember for people who may not share the same trade I have but do get enthused by other people. Somebody who has a lot of Charisma comes by and gets people all hyped up and for something for an idea. It's also good to check in with yourself is like is this is this the idea that I'm supposed to be involved with right now or am I just getting caught up in the enthusiasm and in The. Charisma of this person. |
| 25:17.20 | Max Shank | Yeah, and I'm almost the opposite like 1 of the services I offer is dream killing because I think that you can spend you can waste a lot of time going for something that isn't really a good fit for you or a really good. Ah, overall idea if you're overenthusiastic. However I come back to enthusiasm being social energy and who better to use and as as an example than Richard simmons sweating to the oldies like. When I was in my early twenty s I would like make fun of that sort of thing but dude richard simmons has helped more people get up off the couch than I have probably by a factor of a thousand or more. |
| 25:53.68 | mikebledsoe | Me. |
| 26:08.10 | Max Shank | And it's because he's just so Enthused. He's so excited about them dancing around in their living room and sweating to the oldies and so you can have what I would argue is a suboptimal product. But if you have that charismatic enthusiastic. Um, leader It doesn't even matter. In fact I would rather be invested into that business than someone who's got all of their kinesiology doctorates in order. Doing the perfect exercise. |
| 26:45.77 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I've I've witnessed that I ah ah traveled to travel the world finding the best of the best and kind of really figuring out that a lot of the people who have the best product or service. |
| 26:50.31 | Max Shank | Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen it tons of times. |
| 27:05.60 | mikebledsoe | Get very little attention and people who get the most attention you know will have a mediocre product or service. |
| 27:05.98 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 27:12.37 | Max Shank | They're in the basement pouring over the research papers while the ah dumb guys giving out high fives. Ah, after every set of burpees. You know it's like people people are like that people are like that. |
| 27:27.50 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well this why I like them I like to partner with people who are on the other side of the spectrum because if you is where partnership comes in really really handy is if you have if you have 1 person who's ah. |
| 27:37.56 | Max Shank | Huge. |
| 27:44.82 | mikebledsoe | The Enthusiast and the other person who is the what what would you? How would we want to categorize this other person. |
| 27:50.00 | Max Shank | Well I think I'm the other person so it's like how would I want to categorize myself. |
| 27:54.65 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that sound like you were calling yourself the dream Killer but. |
| 27:58.48 | Max Shank | The other guy the Dream Killer Sometimes Dream killing can be the absolute best thing a person needs like I will happily support a dream where I can see the benefit from it. But I think you you want both you want someone? you know my 1 of my friends used to say I was a sharpshooter That's what he would call me like I would just look at every potential flaw or weakness in the idea and do that with myself too. So It's not like I'm just a sadistic. Dude like trying to do it to I'm not just kill I'm killing most of my own dreams too mind you? Yeah yeah I Guess it's just. |
| 28:39.90 | mikebledsoe | He's also a masochist. |
| 28:48.49 | Max Shank | Yeah, it's It's the same way that I train myself and my clients like a lot of it is looking for weak points and not just reinforcing strengths. |
| 29:01.69 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean that goes would use so talk about deployment versus defense. Are you some is that right? not defense. Ah no, no, no I'm thinking about ah offense versus defense otherwise mixing those up. Ah. |
| 29:13.20 | Max Shank | Deployment versus execution offense defense. |
| 29:20.95 | mikebledsoe | So offense versus defense would you would you consider yourself somebody who is more naturally geared towards thinking of defense before offense sort of sounds like to me. |
| 29:31.31 | Max Shank | Yeah, 100 percent um 1 of the axioms I kind of live by is why risk what you need for what you don't need and I am 1 of those people who will be I can be really patient. |
| 29:39.71 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 29:50.50 | Max Shank | Um, so I'll just wait for the right opportunity now when the right opportunity comes up I will attack it so aggressively that it's kind of startling in fact, but I don't feel a need to be. Dynamic all the time or attacking all the time because I've recognized that if you are patient enough just like in jujitsu position before a submission like I'll just wait and wait and wait and when the opportunity comes then I'll go for the submission. But unless I'm just messing around with a friend I'm not going to be trying for any type of fancy aggressive Stuff. It's going to be slow methodical control control control don't risk losing position. Wait wait wait. Okay there's the position. Now boom super super offense all of the sudden. |
| 30:50.13 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I'm more naturally geared towards being on the offense I look back on my sporting career and yeah in sport and life way more on the offense ah lot of lot of swing for the fences. |
| 30:57.19 | Max Shank | No doubt. |
| 31:09.48 | mikebledsoe | A lot of failure but but also some success and I've I've noticed over the years ah is the thing that helps me out the most is to slow down and go on defense and it's it's ah it's a difficult choice for me to make to go in defense. |
| 31:19.75 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 31:27.62 | Max Shank | Not the. |
| 31:28.40 | mikebledsoe | It's not what I want to do but when I do it I So That's when I usually see really great progress or and I've learned to wait for that that moment to Strike. Ah, but when when it is time for that moment to strike there's you're saying that it's startling. How how aggressive it may come out as because I've got a lot of practice being aggressive. |
| 31:51.96 | Max Shank | Right? And there's kind of another thing to consider here too which is um I've heard it described as the strategy paradox where what works for another person would be like the worst thing you could do for yourself. |
| 32:08.76 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 32:11.50 | Max Shank | So you could be 1 of those people who wants to value invest and just purchase um shares of companies where the financials are strong. There's steady growth and you don't really go outside of your comfort zone. You're probably not going to lose all your money doing that on the other hand, you're probably not going to become very wealthy very fast because risk and reward are usually proportional to 1 another. However, if you are you know. Buying options on penny stocks with borrowed money you have a chance to maybe 10000 x your money. But you also have a chance to lose all of your money times 10 so so ah and that kind of goes along with another bias which is survivorship bias and the best example I have of that is Richard branson if you've ever read his autobiography to a more defensive minded person like myself and methodical. Just gave me like heart palpitations because every every other chapter he's like mortgaging his life away and borrowing another millions from the bank and shit's going wrong and you know he's got a music company and everything's finally going well for him. Everything's finally going well like he never had like a lot. It was always just reinvest reinvest and then things finally go well and he's on the board at virgin music. They got a ton of artists and he's like yeah so I'm gonna I'm gonna start an airline I got to buy a. An airplane and I need another 1 hundred million dollars. So I'm going to start selling stock and borrowing and his partners in the music company wanted to kill him they they hated him they hated him. He's like they hated me and. |
| 34:16.78 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah. |
| 34:21.28 | Max Shank | The first test flight ah he like hit a goose or a duck so he needed another fifty million dollars to fix this plane like a 7 forty 7 or something like that. So now he's he's. You know he owes 1 hundred million or something to the bank of England or whatever it was I think it was like the Royal bank of england and he's just like begging them to give him more time and it worked out for him. But anyway, that's the survivorship bias just because it worked out for him. There. Ah, 110000 guys who made similar choices who lost everything so you can't necessarily mimic that and think that you're going to get a better result, especially if it doesn't match your personality type either. |
| 35:05.49 | mikebledsoe | Well you you got to consider you know Richard branson he he likely thrives in chaos and so having that that stress is something that that causes him to to get shit done that needs to get done whereas. A lot of people would collapse. Um, there's ah, there's there's 2 other personality types. This makes me think about and 1 is ah when when if 1 personality is which is which is me if you're really far ahead. |
| 35:25.42 | Max Shank | And. |
| 35:44.16 | mikebledsoe | Plenty of money's coming in. Everything's going great all that I have this tendency to want to take my foot off the gas I celebrate the victory. It's like okay life is good. Let's let's do something with this money. Let's let's you know, chill out and. The other personality is somebody who who is ahead and that's motivating like oh we're ahead. Let's get more ahead and more ahead and more ahead. But the flip side of that is it. This is probably where Richard brenson and I have something in common which is if you're behind the 8 ball That's when shit's getting done. That's what I'm making moves highly motivated logging the hours I need to be hyper focused on the things that actually matter not all this other bullshit in the business that that may be just a waste of time. |
| 36:25.60 | Max Shank | Further. |
| 36:38.56 | mikebledsoe | Um, really gets hyper focusedcused and then that person that really enjoys being ahead and is really motivated when when things are going well a lot of times that personal collapse in that space and they they're just kind of like give up and so I've been in situations where um. Been on teams where ah things are going when things are going well people are unhappy with me like why isn't mike doing more to help us keep getting ahead and and then when she hits the fan. They're like mike what do we do and I'm like okay I'm taking over everything. |
| 37:01.96 | Max Shank | That. |
| 37:13.95 | mikebledsoe | Um, now it's like command and control. There's a military operation. We're gonna We're gonna make these moves and so in in the funny thing is is part of me hates putting myself in those positions but the other part of me loves it. It's exhilarating. |
| 37:16.49 | Max Shank | The. |
| 37:31.90 | mikebledsoe | It's like ah this is what life is about like let's fuck shit up. You know so it's it's a very interesting thing to keep in mind and also know who you are in those situations because 1 of once I got hit to that knowledge I started saying oh I don't need to put my. |
| 37:33.49 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 37:48.81 | mikebledsoe | Business partners and loved ones through this stress I may find it exhilarating but they don't fucking like it and it's not good for them and it's probably not good for the business either. So really learning to honor both types and use both types when necessary and not needing to get. |
| 37:55.50 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 38:07.96 | mikebledsoe | Really far into the extreme of 1 or the other um and that's probably what leads to getting into an extreme or 1 or the others you go too far to the extreme of 1 and then the pendulum will swing so going right back to doo de jing right? like the middle way. |
| 38:18.72 | Max Shank | You know you know it makes me think of something I believe is very important which. I think is hard for people to understand and if you are locked into a mission. You're trying to figure out how much you can do. And if you're looking for a retirement business or an income. You're trying to look for for financial Freedom You're trying to find out how little you can do and that is a huge difference and. Tying it back to choices. Maybe it's not that hard to understand. Actually maybe it's simple to understand if you have a clear Mission. You're gonna be trying to do as much as possible with that mission. If you are just looking to free yourself Financially, you're going to be looking to do as little as possible and if you have a clear mission choices will come much more easily because they should all be pointing in the same direction and that's where that. Ah, enthusiasm which is possessed by spirit comes in even more handy is now everything every decision you make is pointed toward that singular point of focus and it goes back to what we were saying about having your focus be dissipated. Into more of a lantern versus a laser beam where you're hyper focused on 1 thing. So I think that's a huge distinction is um, mission versus ah, let's say a financial goal because with that you're going to be trying to do as little as you can. Um. |
| 40:19.30 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, but. |
| 40:25.33 | Max Shank | Like that's my goal for investing of course like I'm not trying to do as much as possible I'm trying to do as little work as possible but have as clear and consistent a reward as possible versus our mission here to enable people to free themselves and make better choices. Which has a network effect. That's more about seeing how much we can do right? It's totally different. |
| 40:48.69 | mikebledsoe | yeah yeah yeah I um spend the majority of my life on the mission side and it it was interesting. It's been interesting because hearing you say that. How many times I set financial goals because I just felt like we're supposed to set financial goals and the financial goals revolved more around if we do this much then we can make this much impact in the way that we want and in the last few years it's become much more become much more on the. |
| 41:09.49 | Max Shank | The. |
| 41:17.40 | Max Shank | And. |
| 41:24.10 | mikebledsoe | How can I do less and ah make as much money as possible doing as little as possible and so I think the the balance there's a balance on those 2 as well is can can you be conducting and. |
| 41:24.35 | Max Shank | Okay, the. |
| 41:30.60 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 41:42.87 | mikebledsoe | And activities conducting activities with as little effort as possible that have a meaningful outcome and that way you can check both boxes which is the financial freedom box as well as the mission box and I see that a lot of people have ah. Don't see how they can do both and a lot of people walk away from a lot of money because they want to be more purpose driven and they actually associate the the making of money as something that's taking away from their purpose which you know. |
| 42:03.10 | Max Shank | A. |
| 42:19.54 | mikebledsoe | Their attraction to it might be the thing that is but but I'm a firm believer and what I've been experiencing is high high mission orientation but also holding at the same time. These things could be. Ah, paradoxical to some people which is ah you know, being on mission and how do I create financial freedom for myself. My family and work as little as possible. |
| 42:48.90 | Max Shank | I think the best way to get to the heart of that discrepancy is to focus on even trades like a win-win situation because if you put yourself into a position where you're just sacrificing. There's not going to be It's not a 2 way street. Basically so if you are dedicated to a mission but you're also selling that service for a price that you believe is worth it to you and makes it worth it to them. That's where you can have mission and financial goals kind of coincide I think. |
| 43:32.39 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, you got it I mean I've been in the place where I invested reinvested all my money into the business and wasn't looking out for myself at all and and turned into a lot of sacrifice which just turned into ah an unsustainable way of living because. Moment The business didn't do well I wasn't doing well and it's hard to make good business decisions when you're experiencing financial scarcity and yeah, yeah, so. |
| 44:02.85 | Max Shank | And gambling they say you're on Tilt so you make bad choices I always take half my chips off the table before I move on to the next thing I never but but also I'm I'm limiting how much I could earn so. |
| 44:10.44 | mikebledsoe | So I That's a good idea. |
| 44:18.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 44:22.33 | Max Shank | It's just you got to figure out your appetite for risk and that's a whole that's a whole other thing. |
| 44:25.44 | mikebledsoe | Well 1 thing I noticed is when I started looking out in taking care of my own position better I made so much better decisions for the business or businesses if I'm comfortable I can make good decisions if I'm not then then I may make. You know something that makes more money in the month this month but doesn't set us up for success in 1 2 3 years |
| 44:47.85 | Max Shank | I Only ever wanted freedom from the time I was very young kid I didn't realize I also wanted love but I didn't really just I didn't see that path So I want love and freedom and money is really just a means to buy freedom. |
| 45:04.39 | mikebledsoe | Is. |
| 45:06.97 | Max Shank | And I think you you can have ah the most important thing is is fuck you money where you just have the freedom to say no to anything you have the freedom to say no to opportunities to requests to threats to. To whatever you're just like ah no and you don't even have to be ah like smarter once you get to that point you just it's like playing home run derby at that point. But there's no penalty for not taking a swing like you are just doing everything from that position of fuck you. So you don't have to um, be blinded by the lizard brain. You can really just let the wizard take charge there when you're in that fuck you money type of position now. There's another level which is fuck me money which is where you can like Torpedo. Yourself your street credibility. You can literally just say whatever you want, you can get excommunicated from society and then you'll like still be okay, um, and that's that's a whole other thing where people where people have so much. They're just like yeah I'll I'll totally destroy. Ah. Myself full on character assassination because I just don't care. |
| 46:25.72 | mikebledsoe | Who was it Um, the guy who did all the virus software. Ah, ah, the kaffy I think I think he experienced that fuck me. Ah I mean I mean he did end up in he then and end up in jail. |
| 46:34.33 | Max Shank | Mccaffy. Yeah yeah, guy was an animal that was a scary thing. |
| 46:45.34 | mikebledsoe | But ah as a very interesting and anyone wants to go look up his story I don't know where to look it up because I've I've been following it from many different perspectives. But ah yeah, he's 1 of those guys that made fuck me money was living abroad and was. Pulling all sorts of shenanigans and even after his death. It looks like he's pulled some shenanigans. There's been things are being released in the wake of his death. So It's a. |
| 47:05.00 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 47:12.45 | Max Shank | Yeah, apparently he had like a lot of information that was very incriminating about certain things within the United states and the the powers that be. |
| 47:16.99 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 47:30.79 | Max Shank | As they say yeah. |
| 47:32.89 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, so yeah I like that. Well I think um, you know, maybe that should be that could be a course fuck you money is ah it's a. |
| 47:42.89 | Max Shank | Fuck you money I'm surprised. That's not already a thing because if you think about it. There is no other reason to get it like you people want security. Yeah, but freedom is the ability to say no, That's all. That's what freedom to me. That's how you could boil it down Freedom is the ability to say no because if you're addicted to something it means you're enslaved by it means you can't say no to it anymore whether it's a substance a person which is like a different type of codependency. Um, whatever. If You can't say no, you're enslaved and we're enslaved by all sorts of things and it's okay to be enslaved by you know I'm a slave to Oxygen and water and food. But I Really think the. Core of freedom is the ability to say no. |
| 48:41.43 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think that's that's a spot on I mean there's. |
| 48:46.55 | Max Shank | We could call it. No thank you money if we wanted to have it be like a little bit kinder. |
| 48:51.24 | mikebledsoe | If we can if we if we want to run ads to it on facebook. |
| 48:55.58 | Max Shank | How to how to get? No thank you money. |
| 48:59.74 | mikebledsoe | Ah, doesn't have the right ring man I'm not sure that's going to stick. Yeah, that's ah, that's an important thing and ah that freedom is the ability to say no, it's that's that's an extremely powerful comment. |
| 49:03.59 | Max Shank | It's not the same as fuck you money. |
| 49:18.91 | mikebledsoe | That's because it's not just about money having enough money to say no to anybody. That's that's definitely a lot of Freedom. The the freedom to say no somebody you know is wanting to do something to you or asking you to do anything the ability to say no is freedom if if you're being. If you if that the ability to say no is is removed then yeah, you're a slave makes perfect sense. Yeah. |
| 49:47.16 | Max Shank | Substances and peep substances relationships too right? You know you get a you get a craving for the demon rum and you can't say no then you're not really free of it. |
| 49:59.16 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well, this also makes me think about boundaries and and ah and you know the word sovereignty comes up and it used to be that the only sovereign beings that existed on the planet were royalty and so there was. |
| 50:15.11 | Max Shank | Center up. |
| 50:18.20 | mikebledsoe | There's a couple of you know there's a family that were all sovereign which meant the rules didn't really apply to them and then there was everybody else that that was underneath them like that like the Queen of england still doesn't follow doesn't the rules don't apply to her to even to this day. So. Ah. |
| 50:37.16 | Max Shank | Wouldn't it be amazing if she just started like a Jack the ripper like serial killing spree in England or something like that. She just went out and started murdering. |
| 50:45.16 | mikebledsoe | I think she's on her last leg I don't know if that's gonna be possible, but ah, the well the idea of like I mean that was the the idea of the founding in the United states was more of bringing sovereignty to the individual and. When I think about. So yeah, it's all about saying no. |
| 51:05.18 | Max Shank | It's all about saying no, it's all about resolving. It's all it's all about resolving conflict on an individual basis like the free speech is basically the right to say no firearms is basically the right to force the issue. No. |
| 51:15.58 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah, yeah, and well I think about Sovereignty I think about royalty and 1 of the things that that kings and. |
| 51:26.38 | Max Shank | Even the third amendment even the third amendment is no. You troops can't stay at my fucking house. The fourth is no. You can't search my shit. The fifth is no I don't have to say a god damn thing like it's all about. |
| 51:32.63 | mikebledsoe | Right? right? yeah. |
| 51:43.28 | Max Shank | Freedom is all about no. |
| 51:43.36 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right beautifully said so I think about Sovereignty I think about kings and queens and what do kings and queens have is they have a territory and they have boundaries and and those boundaries is. |
| 51:56.79 | Max Shank | M. |
| 52:02.55 | mikebledsoe | Are set and if you cross those boundaries you're going to suffer a consequence whether those boundaries be physical boundaries as in a physical wall around a kingdom or the boundaries of of we do this and we don't do though that you know if you break this rule if you pat cross this. Conceptual Boundary then you're going to experience some type of punishment and so ah I incur that I think a lot of people don't experience freedom or the degree of freedom that they could have simply because they don't know how to they don't even recognize their own boundaries. Ah, usually they don't recognize that their boundaries been crossed until after it's been crossed and it was crossed because they didn't know it was a boundary and so they never communicated it So It's it's your duty if you want to be free. It is your duty to. Communicate those boundaries in a way that people can hear them and then if they cross them after you tell them don't cross this boundary and that is impeding on your own on your shit then you know the use of force is is what may be necessary and is. |
| 53:12.13 | Max Shank | Where do you think we got the phrase draw a line in the sand That's literally drawing a boundary as an actual line that you are drawing. |
| 53:16.89 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, is there? Yeah yeah, you've crossed this line I'm gonna punch you in the throat. So. |
| 53:29.14 | Max Shank | And what you said there is key to because it's not just for physical. It's for energetic stuff too and I'm I'm sure I've talked about this a few times most of the stuff you hear me say that sounds. Really wise or something I've probably written down like a Hundred times. So. It's not like I'm just coming up with this stuff off the cuff be like oh wow that guys. no no I just write down a lot of stuff. Ah energy vampireism. You know where people are trying to get free psychic energy from you from. Unloading all their problems on you trying to get sympathy or complaining or whatever. Ah, just like the mythology of um, actual vampires. They cannot come inside your house unless you invite them in same thing with energy vampires. Unless you invite it in they can't get any of that free psychic energy from you I'm notoriously bad at listening to complaining because I don't tolerate it I draw a boundary to it because on the 1 hand. Yes. Every complaint is a request. But if you actually have a request then it's not complaining anymore. You're asking for help. You're asking for advice I'm 1 hundred percent down to get with that. But I'm not going to be the I'm not going to be the victim of. |
| 54:59.19 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 54:59.44 | Max Shank | Energy Vampurism and I think a lot of people don't draw those boundaries because they're afraid to they're afraid to just say stop. You know like I don't want you to keep talking at me like this because they're afraid like oh they won't like them anymore or whatever. |
| 55:15.91 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, a lot of people I've had to learn how to draw boundaries people don't complain to me either. Um I've had family members start to complain to me. Ah, and I remember a few years ago I got very. Strict around the boundaries around that and there' was a couple of my my family members had reached out or I was having dinner with somebody and I was like I'm just not gonna talk about this? Ah, ah, yeah, I'm not gonna sit here and listen to um, gossip and and they go. You know of course and like I'm not gossiping I'm like it's gossip and I'm not gonna I don't participate in it and ah it it was jarring for them. Especially if you start setting boundaries that you did not previously set. |
| 56:08.61 | Max Shank | That's gonna be a shock to the system. Whoa Whoa Whoa Man What changed I did I'm not sorry, but. |
| 56:13.65 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, it's people will people have have cast you as a character in their movie and they expect that character to behave a certain way and when that character does something that's out of character it it ah causes a little. Little rift is it's like the glitch in the matrix. It's like they they start to see oh this is my movie just got fucking ah just jumped the frame I don't know what's going on and I feel threatened. You know a lot of people feel threatened by it because. |
| 56:50.73 | Max Shank | They're totally hooked expectation exactly they're hooked on predictability. It's like that quote the only reasonable man I ever met was my tailor because he took my measurements anew every time he saw me. |
| 56:51.38 | mikebledsoe | Their expectations aren't being met. |
| 57:03.86 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 57:06.50 | Max Shank | Versus everyone else. They just have their memory like oh Mike acts like this and then you're like hey I don't act like that anymore and I'm like oh my God My illusion is shattered like I don't because your brain is such a prediction machine. |
| 57:08.91 | mikebledsoe | And. |
| 57:18.36 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, it makes me think about ah the time I saw I every once in a while I'll spend some time with my ah buddies from high school I'm in ah I'm in a text message thread. But with these guys and the lives that we're living are. Very different I won't I won't say they're as different as they as they could possibly be but they're incredibly different I've I've grown a lot in a different direction and sometimes I hang out with them and I can and they want to hang out and I go hang out with them and it's it's ah it's awkward. For them. Ah a lot of because I'm comfortable with me but they start treating me and talking to me about things that I used to care about or um, they they expected me to relate to them and in an agreement on things and then I don't agree. Ah. And I want to have ah a different com. You know I take the conversation in a surprising direction and I can just watch the discomfort seeping in it's like now that they they want to hang out but now they're looking forward to me leaving. |
| 58:29.47 | Max Shank | I mean it sounds an awful lot like Gossip mike um I'm sure that I'm sure that. |
| 58:35.95 | mikebledsoe | I bring it I bring it up I bring it up to like these are these are things to expect when you set new boundaries or when you experience growth and. |
| 58:44.63 | Max Shank | Um, well when the tribe says yes and you say no, they're gonna go huh and so that's it's just another layer of freedom am I Free to say what I want am I free to do what I want and people are actually. |
| 58:50.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 59:04.56 | Max Shank | Shockingly free we are we are part time enslaved because we got to work for the man ah percentage of the year but overall historically speaking we're like crazy free. |
| 59:18.44 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, more more free than than ever before. Yeah, and then there's the yeah, the the ability to choose your freedom is extremely high. The amount of people that even understand how to choose that. That's. |
| 59:20.15 | Max Shank | As free as you choose to be really. |
| 59:37.56 | mikebledsoe | Seems to be pretty low. |
| 59:37.91 | Max Shank | Well people enslave themselves with destructive behaviors way more than other people enslave them I mean I'm I don't I guess I'm not a hardcore libertarian I'm really more of an objectivist. I guess but I do believe in free choice being a better result than centralized control. Ah 99 percent of the time just because the risk reward's not good. Um, and where was I going with that saying that we're Better. Ah. Yeah, we are way more enslaved by our own choices within our own lives than we are by some external authority like we're slaves to food. We're slaves to media. We're slaves to a dopamine loop. Within our own mind. We're slaves to a cultural norm that probably sucks. It's like oh I've been conditioned to believe this is good. So now I'm going to sacrifice a lot. To get this result that I've been told is really good. Ah college student loans. Ah the concept of ah traditional marriage has positive and Negative. Um. It there. It just goes on and on and on and on and on and so it's tricky because drugs or addictions are a type of enslavement and it's where your choice gives you a result that you. Intellectually don't want but practically you can't avoid that whether it's um, scrolling Instagram or pornography or actual like heroin or crack or something like that. Never tried crack but I've heard It's really good people sacrifice a lot so they can keep doing crack ah food. |
| 01:01:48.43 | mikebledsoe | I've heard. It's really good too I told I had someone once tell me, you should try a crack sometime just don't know where to get it more of it. You want to make sure that you only have 1 dose because if you know where to get more than you're fucked. |
| 01:02:02.63 | Max Shank | Yeah, you and I are certainly not clever enough to find crack. Are you kidding me. |
| 01:02:17.85 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 01:02:17.93 | Max Shank | I would have like a I would have like a boulder full of crack within 2 hours if it was like really the best thing ever a crack boulder but with food food and choice. That's why look I have this video. Ah. Does fasting solve everything and it's all about what we're talking about because food is the most interesting of all the drugs because it's the only thing you cannot completely abstain from like you cannot quit cold Turkey Cold Turkey It is impossible to have. |
| 01:02:48.90 | mikebledsoe | Well. |
| 01:02:56.49 | Max Shank | No food whatsoever. So you're always having some food imagine if you were like trying to quit heroin but you had to have like 1 hit a day just to survive that would be insane. So. |
| 01:03:09.54 | mikebledsoe | I Think that's how it works after you get addicted. You can't go cold turkey with it. You have physical withdraws. Yeah yeah. |
| 01:03:15.98 | Max Shank | Ah, heroin you mean I mean you can. It's just painful but like you could quit heroin cold turkey and never do it Again. Same thing with opiates same thing with ah like booze and stuff like that I mean it depends how far I'm not a doctor. So. If You're currently a heroin addict and looking for my medical advice then I would say look elsewhere. But. |
| 01:03:37.30 | mikebledsoe | I Think there are other things you can do to win yourself off other than just stopping I think that's there's a safer. |
| 01:03:42.44 | Max Shank | Yeah, oh totally. But it's possible to stop doing heroin completely once and for all like once you get to zero but you can't do that with food and that's why I have this video called does fasting solve everything because. |
| 01:03:50.26 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, right. |
| 01:04:01.14 | Max Shank | It's the core of hunger and it's the core of decision making and as I mentioned Hunger is synonymous with desire.. It's synonymous with pain right? So if you can get that choice under control I think it. Gives you the foundation to get all your other choices under control because it changes your relationship with hunger with pain with desire with motivation. |
| 01:04:32.76 | mikebledsoe | Got it makes perfect sense. Go watch that video folks where is that video ton you? What do people search for does. |
| 01:04:43.98 | Max Shank | It's on Youtube does fasting solve everything. It's on my youtube channel. |
| 01:04:51.17 | mikebledsoe | This fasting solve everything anything else. You want to mention before we go. |
| 01:04:54.64 | Max Shank | Um. I Mean we talked about a lot of stuff I I think I think we kept it pretty close to choices. Um, what are some of the big important things that we talked about we talked about. |
| 01:05:01.60 | mikebledsoe | We did. There was a broad subject day. |
| 01:05:18.87 | Max Shank | Ah, the difference between a good choice and a good outcome. We talked about the difference between deployment which is what you choose and when you choose it versus execution which is how you do it. We talked about offense and defense. We talked about being in. |
| 01:05:33.25 | mikebledsoe | Offense and defense. |
| 01:05:38.50 | Max Shank | Lizard Brain versus the Wizard Brain. We talked about how compassion is best found when you understand that everyone's doing the best they can based on how they think and feel at the time including yourself so you can forgive and accept yourself including all of your past decisions that. Retroactively you might label as mistakes I Just think ah. |
| 01:05:59.40 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, we call ah and and the courses I teach I call that honoring self and honoring other honor yourself and and give yourself some grace and give yourself what you need in the moment so that you can show up the best you can possibly be honoring other is ah. |
| 01:06:05.77 | Max Shank | Oh that's nice. |
| 01:06:19.90 | mikebledsoe | Not assuming that you know what's actually happening in their experience and and and understanding they are doing. You know that they're probably doing their best and so you've got to give them the benefit of a doubt and when that happens it opens up communication to find out. Ah, to get to get more accuracy about what is their experience and usually once that door opens the understanding is a lot easier to come by. |
| 01:06:47.64 | Max Shank | Man That's good. It kind of reminds me of something else which is wisdom is knowing yourself and acting accordingly and arrogance is thinking. You know what's best for other people. |
| 01:07:01.74 | mikebledsoe | Simple, very simple. Ah and I like that like that a lot anything else I'm feeling I'm feeling complete this is ah. |
| 01:07:04.10 | Max Shank | Simple. |
| 01:07:12.52 | Max Shank | This was a lot of fun I'm feeling complete you complete me. Ah. |
| 01:07:21.45 | mikebledsoe | Ah, ah, feeling complete. Yeah, we didn't have a we didn't have like a target to hit at the end of the show so going going off a feeling here. |
| 01:07:28.19 | Max Shank | I I What are you talking about? what are you talking about? we spent an hour. We hit so many valuable points for how to make better choices. Are you kidding me. |
| 01:07:36.19 | mikebledsoe | I agree I agree but I usually have in my head this this final target. We're gonna land on. He's like where well it's we. |
| 01:07:44.43 | Max Shank | What do you want me to say what do you want me to say. |
| 01:07:49.28 | mikebledsoe | We didn't plan it so there's no way to know it's that's I'm saying I have to go off a feeling at this point, there's no predetermined target. |
| 01:07:54.73 | Max Shank | Um, I don't even I don't even know how we would come up with a target for the choice making podcast. |
| 01:08:03.26 | mikebledsoe | I Know that's that's that's why we're here we we have to just choose in the moment. |
| 01:08:08.82 | Max Shank | All right? Well you got so I'm I'm really noticing our mistake in our pre-show planning here so in order for you to feel fulfilled in order for me to satisfy you I need to know what you hope to achieve at the end of each podcast. So next week be sure to let me know exactly what you would like me to do for you by the end. |
| 01:08:29.35 | mikebledsoe | Ah, he ah perfect. |
| 01:08:35.10 | Max Shank | Um, ah ah you can find me at mashank dot com. How can they find you. |
| 01:08:39.39 | mikebledsoe | All right? Where yeah we're besides that Youtube video where can people find you. |
| 01:08:48.60 | mikebledsoe | Ah, on Instagram mike underscore bletzo and a reminder that I have the strong coach summit coming up in March the strongcoach dot com slash summit will get you more information. |
| 01:09:01.58 | Max Shank | Boom. Thank you guys for listening. Love you. Mikey. |
| 01:09:05.42 | mikebledsoe | Let me max. |
| 00:00.00 | Max Shank | Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to Monday morning with max and mike today I'm very excited because we are going to talk about how to be your own scientist. This is a subject very near and dear to my heart because unfortunately there are. No shortcuts. It would be so nice if we could just all be told what exercises to do and what foods to eat at what time but we are unique individuals and there's no way that you're going to put a broad. General piece of advice that works for everybody. You cannot apply the same solution to everyone so that is why you must take responsibility to be your own scientist and today we're going to talk about that mike nice to see you again. |
| 00:53.66 | mikebledsoe | Good to see you max. And yeah, I'm excited about this topic because um, I'm somebody who's very comfortable experimenting on myself I know you are as well and so. A lot of times when I look around at the world and people are confused about something. It's it's hard for me to understand why they're confused I go well why don't you just try it out and then find out if it works for you or not in the way you want it to work and yet people are still waiting for there to be. A mountain of evidence or their favorite journalist to make an article about a single study that's going to convince them that this is the way to move forward and 1 thing I want to mention is you know we we're doing this because we. Well I'm doing this because I want to warn people of the dangers of going with the flow of the rest of society and if we're going to take a really broad view of ah science I mean science is really about discovery. Um, people are looking for things that are true. Ah and truth hides in plain sight as results and so ah, most scientific inquiry isolates and really goes deep into a single thing. But if you want to zoom out and you want to use the scientific lens to just say what are the results that exist in the world today then you would get that you may not find out everything that contributed to creating those results but you could at least be present with the results and that's 1 of the things that i. I see is missing in our society is just this this lack of acknowledgement of what is so ah I won't say science is failing because science is just a tool It's what we use but I I think as a society we're failing. Because even though we supposedly have the most advanced advanced science on the planet. At this point we have the most widespread obesity diabetes mental health challenges everything that science claims to have answers for and ah. Science doesn't claim anything because it's not a person but people like to claim that they represent science and then and then make bold claims for everybody. It's a really sad state because what we see is the the general result is mainstream understanding. |
| 03:38.60 | mikebledsoe | Ah, and you don't want to go with that if you want to be average look at the average they're they're sick and almost dead. Ah then go for it. But if you don't want to be average. You have to be your own scientist. |
| 03:51.90 | Max Shank | Well I generally agree with what you're saying I think it's important to define our terminology a little bit and there are 2 things that really stuck out to me there number 1 is you either mean science as a field. Like there are the sciences. There are physical sciences, social sciences and actually that's the main problem that we're in. So if you remember anything about this first bit. It's that our physical sciences have advanced astronomically literally astronomically. But our social sciences are retarded in in the most literal sense of the word, our social science progress is in the basement that progress has been slowed down or retarded when. You think of science what you probably are referring to is the scientific method which involves number 1 observing what's going on around you to a hypothesis which is basically a guess so all science starts with paying attention. And then guessing and then you run an experiment and you record the results and that's the scientific Method. It's supposed to inform you based on a repeatable experiment when unfortunately right now right. The word science is used more like a political tool or a persuasive tool just the same way if some guy is in a long white lab coat. You are maybe more likely to believe what he's going to say so it's important that we don't conflate or. As mike says the collapse distinction between the science and the scientific method. And yeah. |
| 05:43.87 | mikebledsoe | Well I think yeah Science I think using the word scientific field is good because that refers to a group of people who may identify as scientists and then they they collaborate in some way but because it's a organization or or ah, a. There's a large large organization. There's subsets of organizations and some are recognized more widely than others but the scientific field is wrought with ah policy so inside there there is um. Policy is driving so much of what what research is being conducted. What research is published. There's There's all these things ah science that there is not a there is a governor that is being put on science by policy and So. Ah, the the it's fueled by dollars. But but the reason we have an I R B We have a ah ah review board is to make sure that we're not inhumanely experimenting on people or or something like that. But that same review board. |
| 06:40.72 | Max Shank | Well, it's fueled by dollars right? I mean just like anything else. There's an incentive. |
| 06:55.26 | Max Shank | Right. |
| 07:00.27 | mikebledsoe | On The flip side may also limit ah research that a lot of times limits new research because if you want to if you want to jump into something that's too far of a gap between what's already being studied. Then a lot of times that won't get moved forward. |
| 07:18.81 | Max Shank | Yeah, and you don't have to only think of what are traditionally scientific fields like physics and chemistry and computer technology. In fact, 1 of the. Best books I've ever read is called scientific advertising and he approaches advertising in a very methodical and scientific way using the scientific method hence the name. So I think 1 of the things that we're talking about today is applying that scientific method. To as many parts of your own life as possible and it doesn't need to be such a heavy word either. It really comes down to paying attention and reviewing what the results actually were for you right. |
| 08:06.79 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I I was at a talk this past weekend I went to and a conference and first conference I've been to in a couple years it was it was a lot of fun. Ah, but what we got talking about was the well. What. 1 woman. She gave a presentation about how to how women need to be experimenting on themselves because the majority of research that's been conducted has been on men and then not only that ah the fda up until ninety ninety 3 made it they they. Made it where there was going to be no clinical studies on women who ah were pregnant or had who had gotten pregnant during any of the research trials and so it's basically illegal to conduct clinical research on pregnant women and then. Because women could get pregnant. No 1 wanted to do research on women because they could just lose all their subjects and I've been a part of of studies before research studies and just getting the subjects for your study are is difficult enough. So the majority of that's been done for men and so. |
| 09:21.12 | Max Shank | 1 with women. The hormone fluctuations can be so dramatic throughout a month due to the natural cycle that they have to throw that data out anyway. |
| 09:23.20 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 09:32.15 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it's a 28 day cycle whereas men have a 24 hour cycle. Um, and there there is variation over I think a seventy 2 hour day period for men but it's so small by comparison. Um, so man, why was I getting into that. |
| 09:46.59 | Max Shank | Um, for me. |
| 09:52.30 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 09:52.31 | Max Shank | How how they make the measurements how they do the scientific studies difference between men and women. |
| 09:58.41 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah, there was somewhere I was going with that and I I lost it. It'll come back. |
| 10:06.70 | Max Shank | I think we can kind of segue though into the ability to decipher. What's going on in these scientific studies I think the number 1 thing with any new piece of information. Absolutely number 1 thing doesn't matter if it's an article, a new story scientific study. You got to look at the incentive is who is to gain the most from this bit of information and unfortunately. You can prove almost anything with statistics. In fact, 1 of my favorite quotes is a mark twain quote you have lies damn lies and statistics and oftentimes you can set up the study itself. To prove exactly what you want to prove like I could easily prove that leg presses are better than squats or vice versa depending on what I decided to measure so it's very interesting to look at the way that people use. Scientific studies to back up their argument and it makes sense because as far as persuasion is concerned. It is 1 of the best things 1 of the best ways to persuade is to say this is proven to work and that's actually the main reason why most people aren't willing. To take a scientific approach to their life. They want to outsource that science to somebody else because if I say hey mike you know I got this? Ah great exercise plan. there's ah there's a good chance. It's not going to work for you. But by the end of it. We might have an idea what will work for you versus. If I say mike I have this scientifically proven plan if you just follow it. You are guaranteed results because you know sixty percent of other people got results. But. |
| 12:02.87 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think I think a lot of people don't don't are not friendly. Experimenting on themselves because of their association. Well, there's no guarantee but there's no so there's an association with not getting the desired result. |
| 12:12.43 | Max Shank | There's no guarantee. |
| 12:21.90 | mikebledsoe | With failure instead of really being able to view it as a test I don't think that yeah that people are people our our culture has been raised and educated in a fashion that makes ah not getting the desired result. |
| 12:25.33 | Max Shank | It's the fomo. |
| 12:38.14 | mikebledsoe | And it makes you a bad person like there's there's this, there's this association with that and they don't know what we do is We have a whole culture of people who don't know how to test what works for them because they don't It's It's so much safer to go with the mainstream I mean. Ah. |
| 12:39.52 | Max Shank | He failed. |
| 12:57.40 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean who yeah, it's safer just to be the average kid in the classroom. Yeah, you'll fit in. |
| 13:01.39 | Max Shank | What you'll fit in right? It's fascinating because most of the study and I'm just going to use like exercise and nutrition as examples most of the time you can easily prove that 1 thing is better than another thing. But it's so so difficult to prove with any kind of randomized control study that something is better than many other things so you end up with these studies that are very um, we'll just call it like tunnel vision. For lack of a better word right? So it's like we have proven that squats are better than leg presses and I'm I'm sure we could pull several of our friends. On this podcast and they would conclusively be like yeah dude squats are way better than Leg presses I mean this has been put to bed and I'm like for who though and over what period of time because it's so difficult to get participants to do something for a long period of time. Usually these studies are like. 12 weeks at the longest. It's really difficult to figure out what's going to be overall best for strength and longevity and plus as you and I both know a lot of the strength gains come after years and years not after just a few weeks so there are so many considerations here that it should inform your experiment but you should not believe that it is going to provide you with the same result because in fact, no matter what the odds are. It's still pretty much going to be a coin flip about whether squats or leg presses are going to be better for you as an individual because there are 2 outcomes that it could be either. Squats will be better for you or leg presses or a combination of each right? but we can't test that because it makes the research too complicated. So you might have a person who would be way better off doing leg presses but the study showed that only like ten percent of people do better with leg presses. You follow what I'm saying here and then. |
| 15:18.89 | mikebledsoe | Me. |
| 15:22.95 | Max Shank | Of course this doesn't take into consideration at all that sled pushes and lunges might have been better than both squats and leg presses. So you end up getting tunnel vision because now you have put your belief. You've put your faith into this study. So now you may plug away because. I I believe this the scientists are correct. They obviously have no incentive other than informing me of what is true. So now you are going to be because you're going to stop looking now, you're going to stop doing your due diligence and the same thing is true with nutrition. Because peanuts are either a protein packed health food or instant death depending on the severity of your peanut allergy so you have to do your own experiment because the same thing is true with with any substance and we haven't even gotten into the less. Tangible things that are more qualitative like what exercise do you enjoy doing like the reality is if even if Backsquats are better than tennis I'm I'm just not going to do years and years of back squats like I don't care I find it boring i. |
| 16:39.63 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, go ahead? yeah. |
| 16:39.86 | Max Shank | Don't want to do it and I'm a pretty motivated guy so you gotta look at you gotta look at what will work practically for you rather than trying to be more absolutist about which is better than what because it's gonna be different for you. As an individual so there's no way to get around it unless you're willing to accept a worse result for yourself. |
| 17:05.14 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the something you said that really stuck out to me is talking about Tunnel vision. Um, that happens another other thing that contributes to tunnel vision in regard to research 3 things I want to cover is ah. And meanalysis outliers in isolation and so ah, when research is being conducted when a single study is being conducted. Ah if there's an outlier someone who falls. Ah so far enough outside of the bell curve. They just cut them out of study altogether like it just aren't even there and so ah and it will not make it into the published study. It's not even acknowledged how many people may have been cut due to being an outlier. Um. |
| 17:43.82 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 17:59.89 | mikebledsoe | And it's really up to the scientist who's conducting the study which as we know humans you know tend to be biased and by by many different things and so 1 is we must be aware of the outliers and you you got to understand that you may be the outlier. |
| 18:17.70 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, peanut might kill you. |
| 18:19.51 | mikebledsoe | So peanut might kill you might make a hundred other people stronger it'll you'll die. Um, the other 1 is the other thing I want to talk about was well isolation science is really good at isolating something but as you were talking about. |
| 18:23.26 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 18:37.66 | mikebledsoe | You're going to be able to find a study that compares back squats to leg press. But you're not going to find a study that compares back squats to leg press which the when the back squat was combined with the lunges and the leg press was combined with the sled push and. |
| 18:53.24 | Max Shank | Can't control that many variables possible. |
| 18:54.77 | mikebledsoe | Too many variables. So like the whole point of this like the scientific method by its design because it was designed by human beings by its design is really good at isolating incredibly good isolating and this is something I I really want people to understand. Is if you want to isolate. It's it's the best. But if you want to integrate it you you have to start making a lot of guesses and this is where the the N equals 1 comes in the the self experimentation because ah, you. You're the only 1 that's going to log that much care and time and into the research of yourself I mean what max was saying too the majority of studies are only 12 weeks long because it it gets really expensive for 1 to to be able to pay people and. You know that just whatever it just gets expensive energy wise time wise and then yeah who's you know? and so now if you want a longer term Study. You're gonna have to have a lot more money. Um. |
| 19:52.83 | Max Shank | And that's where the incentives come into play too where who's funding that study. |
| 20:02.89 | Max Shank | How many people how many people out there just have free cash and are like let's honestly just see what happens with it I don't I don't care if it disproves my strong incentive. It's so rare for that to happen. It's almost never going to happen. |
| 20:16.58 | mikebledsoe | So yeah, no, No so ah, it's yeah, incredibly good at ah yeah, the the the isolation I mean Also yeah is. Is. It's a small window in time twelve weeks if we talk about just fitness because that's all the research that I was involved with was all fitness based and I it became obvious to me that it was such a short period of time. How are we really getting the results. We're looking for. Um, and. |
| 20:51.48 | Max Shank | It should only inform your guess it should only inform your hypothesis for what you do yourself and there's a huge difference between the scientific method in terms of ah, proving that. Electricity and magnetism are the same Force. You know the the stuff that we the science that is done to build a telephone that can wirelessly transmit video in real time is very different than the. I I don't even like to call it science that we do for ah random control trials because these trials end up having to be interpreted in statistics and that's where you can very easily. Fabricate a different reality than what is going on So There's a really big difference between doing the experimental science where it is repeatable to the point where you get the same result every single time you know like buoyancy is so clearly Measurable. Electric Force Magnetic Force electromagnet. That's so measurable and so repeatable and so consistent. But this whole idea of getting a big group and then being able to very easily manipulate statistics to your advantage I mean that's. That's like pseudoscience to me and I'm sure a lot of people would really hate to hear me say that but it's so easy to manipulate statistics under the guise that you have done good science. |
| 22:35.86 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, so I want to differentiate something here. Um, and that is a single study versus a metaanalysis and so ah the when I when I was in school I went through ah a scientific methods class. |
| 22:45.58 | Max Shank | This. |
| 22:55.36 | mikebledsoe | Um, and between that class and another class I had in grad school I I created 2 lit reviews and which was which is basically ah a metaanalysis and that is I looked at over 1 ah hundred studies on a specific subject and then. I basically told a story about what it means. That's what ah, that's what that is and so something very interesting happened is well once I got into the studies themselves I realized it really became apparent that. |
| 23:16.64 | Max Shank | 1 and then i. |
| 23:31.90 | mikebledsoe | Finding consistency between studies was not as easy as I would have liked to have been um and then ah I conducted I conducted the analysis. I wrote the lit review and in 1 of my classes someone did a lit review on the same exact thing ah on the same exact topic and I'm telling you what I put some time into this some effort I was I was. Honest about it I wanted to impress my classmates I wanted to impress my professor I wanted to do it right? and I bet you the other guy did too the results incredibly different, incredibly different on what we've. Our suggestions on how this research should be applied between the 2 of us there's over 200 and fifty different studies that were cited and we came up with different meaning because that's what we that's it's it's sense making of. |
| 24:29.88 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 24:36.50 | Max Shank | Um, did you meta did you me analyze the same studies. Ah, that's the 1 interesting thing about meta-analysis because you can say we we evaluated. |
| 24:40.47 | mikebledsoe | Ah, no, no, but it was the same. |
| 24:51.90 | Max Shank | 3 hundred studies and they all proved the same thing meanwhile there are 7 hundred other studies that they just didn't evaluate that proved the exact opposite thing. |
| 24:56.91 | mikebledsoe | Well well that was that was the thing is I I was under time constraints. You know we're doing this in a single semester I found over 1000 studies I could have referenced but I just couldn't I just don't have the time to do that and that also happens in science. It. |
| 25:04.50 | Max Shank | Murder. |
| 25:14.38 | Max Shank | What are you a slow reader or something you can't read a thousand studies like you don't care about the results man. |
| 25:16.54 | mikebledsoe | And what. Ah, well and here's the thing is it's cherry pick and it's always cherry picked and whether it's an intentional cherry picking based on Bias or it's cherry picking based on just saying I think this is the best ones to choose from because we have a. |
| 25:26.67 | Max Shank | Of course. |
| 25:37.59 | mikebledsoe | Have a specific limitation which life is limitation and so that's not going away maybe with quantum computing that could that could change. Ah so I I really like that that really highlighted to me is when I when I started looking at the studies and then. Not only that the studies that I chose something that I learned during that process were studies and of course I believe my shit was more accurate but the studies that I end up choosing had methods used that I felt were applicable to. Athletes and so I wasn't just randomly selecting studies I was like look if I'm gonna be looking at weight lifters I'm not going to be looking at a leg press I'm gonna be looking at a squat instead. So um, so that's that's another thing that really got highlighted to me was. |
| 26:26.96 | Max Shank | Right? um. |
| 26:36.75 | mikebledsoe | Ah, the methods matter and most people only read the summary they may read the abstract which is the explanation of the the big picture paragraph about you know how we're conducting this study and all that and then there's the summary. Most people read The. The abstracting summary and they probably don't even read all of that and then they come up with some type of conclusion and so huh it is hard. It's hard I mean it's it's not is it. |
| 26:59.63 | Max Shank | To be fair, it is really hard. It's really hard like I've I've gone down I've gone down that rabbit hole man reading those studies is so difficult like I I want to poke my eyeballs out. |
| 27:13.68 | mikebledsoe | So yeah I probably read yeah I've read over yeah I read over 1000 I I know I've read at least a thousand and and yeah, it's I have no interest in. |
| 27:18.88 | Max Shank | With a fork by the time I've read like 10 of them. It's like ridiculous. |
| 27:30.81 | mikebledsoe | I don't I don't enjoy it but I still have to look at research at times because I go I gotta know I gotta know but what I what I realized is ah in inside of that I started I started paying attention to when Journalists would write an article about. |
| 27:35.35 | Max Shank | It's horrible. It's horrible. Yeah. |
| 27:50.48 | mikebledsoe | Ah study and that it it was it was after that class and I remember reading. Ah you know the eggs were bad for you in the New York times. Yeah, and but I read it and I go I go. |
| 27:50.17 | Max Shank | Oh god. |
| 27:59.29 | Max Shank | Oh no, not this again. |
| 28:07.60 | mikebledsoe | I'm probably the only person on the planet's going to click the citation and look at the actual study and I remember clicking the study and reading it and going. Wow these people really we got I got back down to the isolation thing which is. Ah, you know?? Ah, they weren't even talking about nutrition in the study they were just talking about they were testing something else and it is ah it was a huge extrapolation ah in order There was this huge gap in logic that needed to be crossed. |
| 28:37.80 | Max Shank | Oh it's crazy. |
| 28:45.25 | mikebledsoe | In order to come up with a summary because the scientists do this. The fucking scientists will they'll have a solid everything and then they get it a summary and I read the summary and I and I go I don't even know I'm not I'm reading it I'm going I can tell this scientist is Biased. So so we got this. So we we look at this is how how's it like to your point how is it funded. What are the other biases that might be with the scientists we've seen this a lot with like plant-based diet advocate science scientists. Ah. |
| 29:04.48 | Max Shank | I think. |
| 29:22.28 | mikebledsoe | How many what other biases might they have then they which may influence what data they include in the study and what they don't then not only that all they gotta do no matter what the study actually shows what they put in their summary is probably gonna get. The the most amount of attention and then you go from a scientist with biases that then makes it to a journalist who knows squat about they don't know shit about science or the scientific method and then they write an article based on their bias and so there's this. |
| 29:57.74 | Max Shank | It's all cuts the C word I think we know no ah it's the now causation and correlation I think that is the big leap. |
| 30:00.14 | mikebledsoe | What's the C word. |
| 30:04.76 | mikebledsoe | I. You know. |
| 30:13.64 | Max Shank | That's the biggest leap I see in these ah these I'll tell you these guys are real jerks ah who confuse correlation with causation because that is such an unreal difference. Between correlation and causation because even something like cigarettes and I I don't smoke cigarettes I smoked 1 menthilated one half of 1 menthilated cigarette in my whole life and it was okay and I wasn't like dying to do more of it. But this whole idea. Like when you really like dig into it. Cigarette smoking is just correlated with death from like cancer heart disease and things like that they haven't actually proven that it causes it and the difference between causation and correlation is so freaking. Huge. Because you look at something like cigarette smoking people who smoke cigarettes are less likely to exercise cardiovascularly they're more likely to make poor food choices. They're more likely to overeat they're more likely to be stressed out. There are all these I don't know if that last 1 is actually true. |
| 31:16.90 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 31:28.43 | mikebledsoe | It take any more sugar I imagine I mean just you said poor diet but I mean sugar is a huge inflammatory. |
| 31:29.28 | Max Shank | I take that 1 back. |
| 31:35.67 | Max Shank | Right? So what I'm saying is it's that leap from correlation to causation is like 1 of the most evil things that is done because you like you said you might have a perfectly legitimate study beforehand and then they're like. Coming out with this article that says Salt kills ten percent of americans I'm like or ten percent are you that was an actual article by the way Salt kills ten percent of americans meanwhile you go to Korea they have like triple the salt consumption and way less death. So how do you harmonize. Those 2 inequalities right? So that I think that's a big ah key point correlation versus causation. |
| 32:21.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean I'm I'm gonna go ahead and put it out there because I know you know we we will dance around it but like the died with Covid versus died from Covid it. It's the the correlation. |
| 32:32.66 | Max Shank | I Know it's horrifying. |
| 32:37.61 | mikebledsoe | The correlation is spelled out in the like title of the report and is ah people are people are believing that it's causing it and so someone's yes, right. |
| 32:44.54 | Max Shank | Whoa. |
| 32:49.79 | Max Shank | But that doesn't help with the death counter that doesn't help with the huge death counter in the side corner. |
| 32:56.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the depth that yeah, it's It's not as sensational I know but ah well and here's the thing is lot anytime I I bring this up with certain people and they have just tried to fire hos me with all sorts of shit after that I'm like look look I'm just saying it's it's I'm not lying like I'm not making this up I'm just saying. This is the actual report and this is what they've been saying on even on the news like like but then they go Yeah, but it's caused I'm like no no, no, no, no with not from and it's um, and then the politicians picked it up now if you're a scientist who's studying this shit. |
| 33:19.67 | Max Shank | Ah, it's insane. |
| 33:32.63 | Max Shank | Oh god. |
| 33:35.83 | mikebledsoe | If you're a scientist that's studying this and you're getting paid to study. It would do you think maybe you would have a bias. What do you think? what do you think? what do you? which scientists think do you think are getting paid the best right now. |
| 33:44.41 | Max Shank | We all do man. |
| 33:52.40 | Max Shank | But probably the ones reminding people to drink enough water and get sunshine. It's highly highly Monetizable Strategy hey you know all that stuff that's free that you don't do start doing it again by the way that'll be zero dollars. |
| 34:00.20 | mikebledsoe | I. |
| 34:10.65 | mikebledsoe | Ah, here. |
| 34:10.21 | Max Shank | Like what it's ah no, it's It's totally insane. Um that that has been allowed to happen and like I I could talk about this I I mean we all are right? um. |
| 34:19.46 | mikebledsoe | Well who's allowing it to happen. Yeah, it's this is this is the general population it. It is because because they're not trying to hide it. They're saying died with and and yet the average the average person is just not educated well enough. |
| 34:28.87 | Max Shank | The the now. Well if if science if the science that you're doing or the scientific method that you're doing is ah dependent. |
| 34:38.96 | mikebledsoe | Think that's part of it. |
| 34:46.13 | Max Shank | On Inflammatory rhetoric and like a constant bombardment of propaganda you should probably go back to your fucking research phase and do a different experiment because it's not ah, it's not really working and actually I think that. Ah. |
| 34:50.10 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 35:04.10 | Max Shank | I heard 1 of the most ridiculous phrases I've ever heard in my life in the last little bit of history which is ah trust science or even trust the science now that is ridiculous because that only means ah well 2 things is funny about that. Number 1 that means trust the scientists who are talking right? It doesn't have anything to do with trust the science because you would have to be trusting the result of the experiment and you would have to understand that experiment to be able to do that and the second funny thing is um. The whole reason we do science is because we don't trust the whole purpose of science is to verify like it's the most meaningless ridiculous rhetorical phrase I've ever heard in my life has no bearing in reality whatsoever and you hear um, stupid people parroting it back. |
| 35:46.30 | mikebledsoe | You know. |
| 36:01.55 | Max Shank | Like they know what the fuck is going on. It's because no 1 wants to just say you know what? Ah gosh I don't really know and it it makes sense because we want to stay part of the tribe and we don't want to seem stupid right? So it's like. |
| 36:16.27 | mikebledsoe | You know so. |
| 36:20.42 | Max Shank | No, no, no, not yeah I trust that what what are you anti-science anti-vaccine and of course those are broad generalizations that it has to do a little bit with attention inflation like we talked about a little bit before how. If I say there's an imminent hurricane. That's a more exciting weather story then it's going to be sunny today and you'll probably click on the like imminent hurricane. So it's this race for the most outrageous deadly stuff but the same thing is true in America we're talking about right. The same thing is true in America that was true before is the biggest threat to your health is yourself like if you look at all the ways that people die um suicide beats murder like 4 to 1 maybe even 5 or 8 to 1 now. It's ridiculous like we kill ourselves way more than each other directly. With like ah, a bath with the toaster or whatever and not only that all of the ways that people die. It's like so ridiculous to like to fight heart disease like how are you going to fucking fight heart disease like who are you going to punch like it's ridiculous The whole thing is like fighting sickness isn't the same as promoting health and all of these things like we're gonna battle Diabetes. We're gonna battle heart disease and it's like no dude that person has been killing themselves for 20 years by eating shitty food not exercising. Not expressing themselves authentically not having a close group of friends that promotes that sort of healthy active behavior like it's not fucking rocket surgery here. It's no ah, it's no surprise that people are dying a little prematurely but we get so. Honed in on these ways that people die kind of like where you're taught we like to isolate. We're like we got to fight hard to so then you know suddenly the egg with cholesterol is like going to kill you the egg that's be afraid of eggs of all the things to be afraid of you should be. Terrified of the damage that you are doing to yourself not of a fucking egg. |
| 38:38.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well you know fighting a war on something is super super popular and was that okay we got out so far all right? so that what there used to be a war. Well well we used to have a war. We used to. |
| 38:43.79 | Max Shank | Even profitable Also Profitable war on drugs I think that's ah we lost. |
| 38:54.90 | mikebledsoe | Have Wars with other countries. It was like Kings we're having Wars with other kings and then it was it was countries were having Wars with each other and then ah yeah, and then and then we had to get really creative and start having Wars on ideas like the concept of drugs the concept of. Terrorism The constant is like like you can just ah fucking you can attack anybody at that point if you convince people that that we're fighting a war on terrorism all got do is say that there are terrorists. We're gonna fight the war on Covid we're going to that makes you might be an enemy if you get put into the Anti-vaxer ah category. Ah you. |
| 39:36.59 | Max Shank | Um, isn't the war on terror hilarious. What's scarier than that the war on terror is fucking terrifying. There's there's no greater terrorist organization than the media. No 1 has terrorized more people than the media. |
| 39:43.49 | mikebledsoe | Um, well the problem a problem with no greater. |
| 39:54.15 | Max Shank | They scare people into promoting a war. We should not be in they scare people into being like oh yeah, you better frisk my asshole before I get on the airplane like Jesus there's nothing scarier than like the constant but like the war on terror is such an epic failure. The war on drugs. |
| 40:04.79 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 40:12.45 | Max Shank | Such an epic failure I mean there are real actual problems in the world and we're like hey are you are you smoking grass. Well let's put you in prison for that like the war on. Are you kidding me? Meanwhile we're going to sell trillions of dollars in opiates. |
| 40:25.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 40:32.39 | Max Shank | Because you know the way that we practice medicine here isn't that we talk to you about a more active lifestyle or um, you know, physical therapy type exercise maybe putting your feet in the dirt. We're just going to drug you like of course like there's no There's no money in it. That's why you got to fall on the incentive like you know all of this gets erased by a simple phrase which is buyer beware and the truth is there are people who are going to swindle you. There are people who call up an old lady at home and they're like ah you're. Daughter needs a thousand dollars to get bailed out of Mexico you better wire it right away and you know what the lady does it. There are people out there to swindle you on the low level and there's a great big swindle at the upper levels too. So it's your responsibility as a consumer. To decide what you believe like it's no, it's no surprise that buy and believe are synonyms like if someone tells you a story that you don't believe you say I don't buy it so that's that's the whole thing is like it's up to you to decide what story you're going to put faith into. And quite frankly, you're better off believing basically nothing you hear and just being a little bit more of a scientist yourself to see what the results actually are and I know that's harder it is harder. You get a better result, but it is harder. |
| 42:04.57 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, there's ah, there's also I mean this this brings me back I'm I'm going to rewind a little bit here but the we've talked about the victim villain Hero the Drama Triangle and people. |
| 42:06.92 | Max Shank | Also watch out for eggs. |
| 42:19.90 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 42:24.27 | mikebledsoe | People want there to be something to demonize something to villainize something to vilify so that yeah and so I mean ah you know Covid's the enemy. So now the scientists are the heroes. |
| 42:29.50 | Max Shank | So they can be the hero. |
| 42:39.29 | Max Shank | Um, I'm the Hero eggs are the enemy also Salt but my breakfast is just out to get me. |
| 42:42.25 | mikebledsoe | And ah, eggs are the enemy. Yeah yeah, so whoever figured that out. Um, yeah, eggs and bacon I'm fucked man and ah constant barrage. Ah yeah, but it's it's interesting that these Wars went from ah these countries fighting each other which is really just governments in disagreement. |
| 42:53.76 | Max Shank | Um, ah. |
| 43:10.48 | mikebledsoe | Convincing the population to go fight for them. Ah, and I was 1 of the suckers. So I'll be the first raised my hand and ah and then we go from like ah yeah, the war on drugs the war on poverty. Ah that that fucking I think this. |
| 43:16.60 | Max Shank | Yeah. |
| 43:25.23 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 43:29.98 | mikebledsoe | People in San francisco been fighting the war on poverty harder than anybody they've got more money doing and yes, they they got the worst homeless population. Ah we haven't won a war in a while. It's been a. |
| 43:33.00 | Max Shank | Um, when was the last war we won I don't think we've ever like won ah won 1 of those wars with the like a nebulous enemy like poverty is kind of a nebulous enemy. |
| 43:48.20 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it's not. It's not really the the last the last thing the last time we had a war with anything was what and they didn't we didn't say it was a war on this person because it would be against geneva convention rules. |
| 43:51.85 | Max Shank | Like how would we even know that we won how would we even know that we won. |
| 44:07.10 | mikebledsoe | But the United states waged war against osama bin laden and it was the first time in history that a country waged war on 1 person and they called it terrorism because they wanted to make it look a lot bigger than it was because they had a hard time getting him. So. The are. |
| 44:25.52 | Max Shank | that's um That's amazing that's like I'm not a I'm not pro-terrorism from anyone but but if you have like a whole country you wage war on you. That's like remember grand theft auto. When you would get like five five stars five cop level at at you you know I'm talking about you know that game having it was it was just like an increasing amount like if you just like. |
| 44:46.25 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, Matt not actually I didn't play that much I know what the game is though. |
| 44:56.75 | Max Shank | I don't know punch a hooker or something and get like a half a star and the police are kind of looking out for you and then if you like Rocket launcher a helicopter or something you get like a lot of so you get like 5 star. So that's when you got like the whole swat team coming after you I played this game like 5 times but this is all I remembered I just wanted to get as much havoc as possible. |
| 44:59.90 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 45:16.30 | Max Shank | If you're 1 guy and you have a whole country declare war on you. You know you've done something to get their attention. |
| 45:22.47 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and it's and it's curious I won't go into it. But if you if you look into someone Bin. Laden's history it's ah there it's it's a ah, if you want to go down and wrap a hole go look that shit up. That's all I'll say um, but it's interesting. |
| 45:38.82 | Max Shank | Well revisionist history is like a good ah like talking point for this because um, the biggest consistency in history is that it's been very carefully selected lies to get people to Believe. A very carefully selected story I mean the losers don't get to write a history book really and look I only I'm a huge ah fan of. |
| 46:06.57 | mikebledsoe | They're dead. |
| 46:16.20 | Max Shank | North korea and history not North korea exactly but the history of North korea is very interesting just to clarify I'm not like ah but anyway the guy kim ilsung who started. |
| 46:25.00 | mikebledsoe | Um, dude I heard it's popular to be a communist right now I think we get more listeners just just claim it. |
| 46:30.90 | Max Shank | Finally I can be popular. It's what I've always been looking for oh god no but what I found out is okay so there are 2 great stories. There are many more but my 2 favorite are the ones where Kim il-sung goes to war with like. Ah, usa and south korea and gets like 85 percent of the buildings are destroyed like some crazy percentage of the population is killed and he has the testicles to come back address his people. And say everybody we won that was what he said he he just he got held a catastrophic loss. He just went back and told everybody that we won and we're gonna we're gonna get revenge on the american terrorists. Basically. |
| 47:24.12 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 47:26.59 | Max Shank | Then I found out he had a huge like mass I think it was like a benign tumor on the back of his neck but you never see it because every single picture of him is from a certain angle so you can't see it so it's so easy to hide something if you are the 1 who's. |
| 47:29.82 | mikebledsoe | And. |
| 47:37.65 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 47:45.26 | Max Shank | Selecting how history gets portrayed and look believe whatever you want I guess but like look at the war on people's minds over the last 2 years I mean it's crazy I've never seen anything like it I think more people. Have been snapped into reality which is probably why people feel very jaded about the media because like how many times does someone need to lie to you before you're just like you know what? I don't I don't trust that guy anymore like if you were in a relationship. And your girlfriend lied to you every day for years and years would you keep believing what she said I don't think so. |
| 48:27.74 | mikebledsoe | No I think it's interesting that we we started off talking about being your own scientist Now we're often to politics but it makes very it makes a lot of sense and it it. It's all it's all correlated. Ah because because you can't. |
| 48:41.78 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 48:46.32 | mikebledsoe | The the problem with the way that people are interpreting science now is through the lens of policy and politics and so it has to be addressed now I want to bring it back to how do we be our own scientist. How do we? How do we. Do these experiments for ourselves. How do we make choices. Maybe somebody's only done things that have been that they've outsourced to their doctor or they've outsourced ah took you know whoever about their life and what how they should live it and they want to start experimenting. What are some of the ways that you have you experiment for yourself. Max. |
| 49:26.78 | Max Shank | Fast fasting is a really good place to start because then you are bringing a little bit of honesty into the equation and then reintroducing foods after a fast can be very illuminating because you can be aware of how they affect you personally. I think that's 1 of the best ways to do it I think having um, an exercise plan that you follow through with is another really good way to do that and there are a couple sayings like what is measured is improved I've heard. |
| 50:02.74 | mikebledsoe | What what gets measured gets managed. Where's ah fuck singing. Ah yeah, sometimes what you can measure is not the most important thing so you got to keep keep that in you got to keep that. |
| 50:03.49 | Max Shank | Saying before I can't remember who said it there you go maybe that's the 1 I'm thinking of. |
| 50:17.46 | Max Shank | Well definitely not well that that reminds me of Goodhart's law which is as soon as a measure becomes a target. It's no longer a good measure. |
| 50:22.64 | mikebledsoe | And mind. |
| 50:30.53 | mikebledsoe | And that's that's happened a lot in regard to heart health. It's like it's like ah cholesterol is bad all right? What foods can you eat the lower cholesterol and then you know 20 years goes is by and they go. |
| 50:33.65 | Max Shank | And then what right right? what. |
| 50:49.70 | mikebledsoe | Well, it's not really the cholesterol. It's the inflammation but there's all this momentum running with cholesterol and it's like you pick up the box of cheerios and it says it lowers cholesterol and it's got a ah heart drawn on the box and ah. |
| 51:03.65 | Max Shank | That serial money can pay for a lot of scientists I'll tell you what. |
| 51:08.70 | mikebledsoe | Well yeah I mean the the ingredients are subsidized with tax Pi payers money. So why? not? That's why it's subsidized. Um. |
| 51:15.51 | Max Shank | It's also 1 of the cheapest foods you can possibly make I think the packaging is more expensive. Yeah yeah, it's absurd and here's the thing like you don't have to believe that these scientists are evil because no 1 thinks that they're evil. Everyone thinks they're the good guy in their story but just because their intentions may be good. Doesn't mean that the result can't really fuck you up, you know, like the. |
| 51:40.39 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, I Well here's the thing is scientists I know a lot of Ph Ds I know a decent amount of scientists and they they are very well versed in a very narrow field and some of them know it and some of them don't but. The the job going back to the job of the scientist is to isolate and to be a human being to live a fully optimized life. You need to Isolate. You need to integrate and then from there you can improvise. And no scientists are Improvising. It's not their.. It's not their strong suit. Their strong suit is to Isolate. It's up to you to integrate ah to to test and isolate variables. |
| 52:17.94 | Max Shank | Um, so. |
| 52:25.20 | Max Shank | You know. |
| 52:33.20 | mikebledsoe | And then see what you spec works in combination with your lifestyle integrate it into your lifestyle. This is why fasting is such a good idea is because it's It's a way to reduce variables. Um, and then you integrate it and you keep paying attention and then after you've integrated something far enough into your life then. You become like you start to improvise I see this with Ido partol talks about this when he's teaching movement. He says isolate integrate improvise and ah the idea is a lot of times people see a master improvising. And they try to copy the improvisation as and this happens with you know this happens in in everything that that's going on in our lives people try to improvise ah copy someone's Improvisation. It's in business or something and then it doesn't work for them and so. |
| 53:14.20 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 53:31.40 | mikebledsoe | It's ah it's something to remember is on on 1 side. You have people who are only look at integrate at ah isolation just acknowledge science and scientists for what they're doing. It's isolating practice integrating and then. Recognize the masters who are already improvising and recognize it as improvisation and then and then talk to them about how they did it and I think that's that's a ah key to maximizing your own potential. |
| 53:53.84 | Max Shank | The. I Think honest record keeping is probably the most important thing for for being your own scientist is honest record keeping. |
| 54:03.50 | mikebledsoe | Okay. Yeah, writing shit down is great because our memories tend to get very selective. There's a lot of research to support that I don't know where it's at right now but you know I think you should believe me. |
| 54:29.30 | Max Shank | It's very true I mean it's hard to determine causality or correlation as well and I'll give you a good example that I like which is have you ever heard of oil pulling. |
| 54:42.92 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah I do it? Yeah man I sometimes I'll do it every day for like a month or 2 and then it'll be like once a week on and off. |
| 54:45.99 | Max Shank | Gotta have heard of that you do oil pulling every day sometimes. |
| 54:54.23 | Max Shank | Okay, so you're a bad scientist that's fine. No big deal just I'm just kidding you. You seem a little triggered there. Ah no so here's the funny thing about oil pulling. |
| 55:00.33 | mikebledsoe | I've done it long enough frequent enough. Okay, okay, max come on not I don't get triggered I don't get triggered. |
| 55:13.39 | Max Shank | So you do it for like five minutes right throw some coconut oil in your mouth. Wish it around at least that's what I've heard 10 to 20 You're an animal that means you're twice as good as those five minute oil pullers at least twice as good. Oh it's compounding benefit. No kidding. |
| 55:18.10 | mikebledsoe | Do 10 to twenty minutes but okay at least at least? well it's compounding. So it's it's an exponential. Yeah. |
| 55:33.15 | Max Shank | Yeah wow little statistic right from out of the ass. Ah, here's what's funny about oil pulling because there are 2 things going on with oil pulling that could be potentially very good number 1 you are nose breathing only. And for the average person just breathing through your nose is like is like magic because breathing is the bridge between your conscious and subconscious. You go Boom sympath ah parasympathetic state unless you have a stuffy nose then you'll go sympathetic and you'll feel like you are drowning. But the cool thing about oil pulling is it's really impossible to figure out which of those is benefiting you the most. But here's the deal if your record keeping is good then it doesn't matter which is the benefit for you if it's the fact that you have oil in your mouth. Or the fact that your nose breathing for five minutes if that ritual helps you observe observably so you're in the right ballpark now if you're a hyper Nerd. You can take a step further and you can do ah a more controlled experiment. You could do ah 2 weeks with oil. And you could do 2 weeks just with your mouth closed for that long or you could do water and so that would be a way that you could get a little bit more clarity on which of those things is beneficial to you but the point is if you find a habit. That actually improves your life then it's really good to repeat it and give it a chance to give you those long-term results same thing with exercise like there's no best eight week exercise plan because the results that you get in eight weeks will be dwarfed. By the results that you get in 2 years like it's way better if you do something that is super half asked for 2 years consistently than if you do the most optimized balls to the wall Eight week ultra gains program right. |
| 57:42.23 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I ah but made me think about the knowing why something works can be very beneficial. Ah but it can also be very limiting and that a lot of times people. Want to know why the oil pulling is working and and and what you're talking about is oh I'm just getting the these I do this action and then I get these benefits but I don't know why I'm getting those benefits. Ah I want to get people permission and to know that it's okay. You don't understand how it's working or why it's working all you gotta know is that it's working and and you're paying attention now. That's good enough. However, if you understand the mechanisms for by which it's working and you understand the principles now, you're gonna be able to bank. Better guesses at maybe you can be able to extrapolate that to another guest or you're able to um, ah know its limitations and and it's gonna help you conduct other experiments. But again, don't get hung up on why it's working the. I guess what I'm saying is don't stop doing something that's working just because you can't understand why it's working I think a lot of people. They don't even a lot of people won't even try something out because they they want to understand it first and my buddy had this really great saying which is don't let you? Yeah, he said? ah. |
| 59:04.22 | Max Shank | Um, I think that's good. |
| 59:12.21 | Max Shank | Right? It's like they want permission. |
| 59:18.91 | mikebledsoe | Don't let your understanding get in the way of your knowing and so you're gonna throughout your life. You're gonna know a lot more shit than you understand So like that. No. |
| 59:20.55 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 59:29.68 | Max Shank | And nobody really knows it all either. That's the thing you know like you ever do ohms I Love doing ohms. Ah um, and there's like ah. |
| 59:37.10 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah. |
| 59:43.48 | Max Shank | Four separate cycles the ah the ooh the umm and then the pause and then you go through that cycle Now What's interesting is it depends who you ask why? those are good. Are you liberating your throat Chakra are you ah activating your vagus nerve. |
| 01:00:00.45 | mikebledsoe | Yes, all of it. |
| 01:00:02.34 | Max Shank | Are you simply warming up your vocal cords and and what's what's interesting is I have a diverse set of people that I've met in my life and I'm I'm really easy to get along with. And what's funny I think I am maybe maybe I shouldn't be the authority on that I have no idea Actually I think I'm fun to be around. Ah. |
| 01:00:25.88 | mikebledsoe | I haven't seen you hang around very many people. So if I'm just going to look at the results. However, I find you easy to hang out with yeah. |
| 01:00:30.93 | Max Shank | Ah, ah yeah I mean the data would the the data would suggest that I'm hard to get along with actually um I know people who would hear me say the word chakra and they would just go. Ah. Really really you think there are chakras and I'll be like I guess not I guess I'm stupid. Ah, ah. Meanwhile I could give the vagus nerve explanation to someone and they'd be like ah no, that is just restoring the flow through your kundalini and opening your heart sha or you know whatever. So yeah, just to add to your point of maybe it's beneficial to understand the principles. Behind certain things like it I think it's valuable to understand how different tissues grow and regrow at different rates. You know the lining of your intestines regenerates replaces itself every couple days whereas Bones can be like on a 2 wo-year cycle. It's big difference. Um, but you don't you don't have to know exactly what's going on in order to harvest the benefits from it and I think that maybe is a good way to segue into the placebo and nocebo effect. |
| 01:01:44.66 | mikebledsoe | What's. |
| 01:01:54.76 | mikebledsoe | Well I want to I want to mention 1 thing before we go there is ah there's a lot of like people people only value value the latest science it seems it's like if the study is more than like a few years old it's people don't even really want to pay attention to it and I see ah a lot of these Yeah yeah. |
| 01:02:16.94 | Max Shank | Did you say a few years mean like 24 hours it's got to be brand spanking new. |
| 01:02:24.40 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, there's this, there's something about people valuing things that are newer over what's older and when I say well for instance thing about Kundalini yoga that shit is old as fuck. Ah. I don't care what words they're using to describe what's happening there. There is something happening there that is ah that enhances my experience as a human being in a way that nothing else can and so whether they call it chakras or whether we're we're. You know, tickling the vagus nerve or whatever the fuck it is it is ah it's doing something that I like and that's okay, that's totally okay, but I think a lot of these ancient traditions are using language that people. I mean this happens a lot with chinese medicine. You know they're talking about this or that and then next thing you know there's some type of scientific research study that that says something and people go did you hear about this new study and like well that really sounds like the meridian system from chinese medicine. You're like no no, it's this new scientific like okay, cool. You know what. |
| 01:03:36.67 | Max Shank | Number. |
| 01:03:38.92 | mikebledsoe | I'm gonna go with an old Chinese dude over here cause I think he knows more about this than someone who just made a discovery and has come up with a clever way of explaining it. So I'm I'm a I'm a big fan of I'm a big fan of honoring tradition and really also looking at the science and. |
| 01:03:46.47 | Max Shank | Well I call it go ahead. |
| 01:03:57.68 | mikebledsoe | I enjoy when I see science and tradition. You know there's a melding and there's ah, there's ah ah, a modern explanation that that more people are willing to accept when a lot of that like more ah the older traditional explanations for things seem like that's kind of silly. I mean happens to like old russian women too talk to these old russian women and they talk about their mothers and grandmothers and what they did how they treated their food and their medicine all this stuff and 30 years ago I would have thought man that's crazy like what but now I go oh this all makes sense like oh yeah, like this old russian woman I know. Yeah, my my mother would always we drink a ah a shot of vodka every day for health I go what are you talking about? how is alcohol going to be good for your health. Well it doesn't get mentioned that they're they're soaking these ah these really magical herbs like Rodeola or ginseng. In the vodka for years and then they break it out. It's it's high quality tinctures so things like that are happening anyways. So it's it's worth paying attention to your elders. |
| 01:04:59.84 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 01:05:09.94 | Max Shank | It's good to honor tradition and then also to challenge it honestly and I think that there's there's a whole I call it n y m It's not yet measurable like there are so many things that are true that are just not yet measurable by us. |
| 01:05:12.65 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 01:05:27.39 | Max Shank | Right now with the equipment that we have available and I think the the arrogance of people getting so pigeonholed into what is currently measurable using the equipment we have is such a limiter into that person's well-being or their ability to help somebody. Because there's a lot of stuff in isolation that may be true and then in integration may be false like for example, um, people can do research on how different frequency electromagnetic waves affect. Ah, cell right? and then can say okay this electromagnetic wave did not affect the cell negatively therefore it is safe but that has nothing to do with whether or not. That frequency of an electromagnetic wave would be safe for a whole person to experience. So when you have it so isolated like that you're missing the whole integration and the wholeness of the organism in how. It responds with that interaction. |
| 01:06:44.68 | mikebledsoe | Yeah there's there's a quote that my girlfriend posted I think I think I'll quote her put it on Twitter and to be healthy is to be whole health is english. Health in English is based on anglo-saxon word hail which means whole wholeness is necessary to live a fulfilled life. Ask you? What are you missing that prevents you from living a whole and healthy life. Yeah, and just makes me think about that is is looking at the whole person because integration is only gonna take you so far and I want to. Um, want to point out it. It may sound like we we did like there's a science bashing here I imagine some people could listen to this and be like oh they spent more time talking about how science does not apply than or where the limitations of it are than where it is and um I imagine that's. |
| 01:07:39.29 | Max Shank | Well we know what the advantages are there are obvious event we're we're having this conversation on computers in different states like of course it's it like works. But that's not see here's the thing because I'm gonna hijack what you said Mike and I Mike and I. |
| 01:07:43.39 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well I. |
| 01:07:58.31 | Max Shank | Are looking out for your health mentally physically financially and we're going to point out the things that are most likely to fuck you up and the reality is most of the benefits of science need no rhetorical argument. They need no explanation. Phone. It just works like if it's really scientific like it just works so getting the rhetoric out of the scientific method getting appeal to Authority and ad hominent attacks out of the scientific method. That's what's going to help you actually live the best. Because if you don't identify those for what they are which is huge traps you're going to get messed up. |
| 01:08:41.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well said thanks for hijacking me I love it. Let's let's shut this bad boy down last last words for the the listeners. |
| 01:08:54.22 | Max Shank | Eat lots of eggs and Salt I don't I don't know it takes more time it takes more effort to figure out what's going to work best for you. I personally followed. The worst exercise plans for my individual body for a really long time and I did it because of how I would measure up to other people and that's once again getting into that like I like saying that. |
| 01:09:16.71 | mikebledsoe | But they did. |
| 01:09:30.75 | Max Shank | Whatever measuring stick you use is also the 1 that's going to administer your beating so whatever you are measuring. It should be for an important reason and the more I think mature you get like you were talking about child adult the less you're going to care. About impressing other people with how many pounds you can lift and whatever else the more you get in tuneed with what makes your body feel the best and the strongest and the most elastic and that's actually been the biggest. Shift in my training philosophy is I used to really focus on super high level athletics and I still do. But my approach is much more about elasticity and I think that that is the ultimate. Athletic attribute is if can you bounce around without breaking because ultimately no 1 cares. How much you can squat. You don't care how much you can squat um, the amount of pounds on the bar is going to matter less and less and less the older you get and most people eventually come around. To the realization that they just want to be able to move quickly smoothly. Ah with accuracy dexterity agility without hurting and I guess that's that's basically it is it takes more effort to figure out what's. Good for you individually, but it is very well worth it. |
| 01:11:08.85 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, you know I think about this whole conversation I think about being your own scientist is really you know we can talk about being your scientist for a lot of things but for your own physical body. Um, your and your. Your internal state too. Not just your physical body. But your your mental emotional spiritual state is really just a practice of and a methodical practice of self-awareness by applying the the scientific method to yourself is to me a a spiritual practice and so ah. |
| 01:11:34.74 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 01:11:45.25 | mikebledsoe | Really pay attention to the results because in the results are the truth and so if you look at any area of your life if you look at your internal state your your physical body. Your cultural environment. The people that you talk to and hang out with and. Ah, your your physical environment. These are the these are the four different things I really look at to go is what I'm doing getting the results that I want for myself in my life and if there's a result that I don't like then it's time for me to be my own scientist and and conduct that research. If somebody's life is in Shambles I can almost guarantee you they are a very poor scientist. So even if they have a ph d so you've got to apply these things in a practical world. Not just on paper not in a laboratory. Ah, good. Scientist is able to bring this into their own life. That's so I got match where do they find you? Thank you. |
| 01:12:49.17 | Max Shank | Boy I Really like that summary. It's ah it's very I Really like the correlation you made with self-wareness because that's really what it is. It's self-awareness with good record keeping and that's how you're going to find the truth. That's also how you're going to gain wisdom. |
| 01:13:03.99 | mikebledsoe | Me. |
| 01:13:07.76 | Max Shank | Because wisdom as we described before is knowing yourself and acting accordingly. So. that's that's huge um you can find me at Macshank dot com slash elasticity for my latest program which ah is the result of about. 15 years what we just talked about today. So that's where you can find me. |
| 01:13:26.25 | mikebledsoe | So by the way folks his programs are always good. Always good. Um, yeah that your five minute flow was good for me I enjoyed that 1 |
| 01:13:39.99 | Max Shank | That was very ah, successful Shockingly so it was almost like people needed that reminder to wiggle for five minutes and drink a cup of water in the morning and and look very. |
| 01:13:53.22 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:13:59.45 | Max Shank | Scientific. It was a guess and that's where it all starts. |
| 01:14:02.93 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, good work. Ah find me and on Instagram mike underscore bloodtso and I have the strong coach summit coming up in March you can find more details about that at the strongcoach dot com slash summit. Thanks join us. Love you brother. |
| 01:14:20.55 | Max Shank | Thank you Love you. |
| 00:00.00 | mikebledsoe | Welcome to Monday mornings with mike and max and today we're gonna be talking about choice how to choose Better. We're gonna start off with a quote from Dr. Victor frankl and the quote is between stimulus and response. There is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response and our response lies our growth and our freedom. |
| 00:25.18 | Max Shank | Oh So when I think about this I always use fasting as a way to get people into this mode of thinking because we're so conditioned to. Eat whenever we feel that spark of a stimulus like oh I'm hungry and usually that Stimulus gets confused because you're not physically Hungry. You're just ah, chronologically hungry. Like it's time to eat or I'm bored so you reflexively go after the food and I think this concept of taking a pause so you can choose with your neocortex or what I call the wizard brain is maybe the.. The only important aspect for living a better life because if you're using your lizard brain to choose you have no control over what happens it is valuable to make Lizard brain reflexive choices when there is. Imminent danger but the rest of the time you'll probably get the worst outcome possible and you're certainly not able to see the big picture. In fact in the book Dune which is probably my favorite fiction book the test they do to Determine. If. The young lad is human is they put his hand in a box that gives crazy crazy pain and simultaneously the proctor of this test is holding a poisoned needle at his neck and says if you take your hand out of the box I will kill you. So. The whole idea is being able to suffer the pain of your hand feeling like it's melting off for the big picture of survival and that's pretty much the key to better choices is. You have to be willing to sacrifice what you want now for what you want most and if you don't take that Pause. You have no chance. |
| 02:41.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I Also think about the the response without without taking any space. You know there's no space. There's just a ah a reaction. A response is something that's done consciously. Your reaction is. Is unconscious and ah most of our behavior is a reaction. It's unconscious and a lot of it. It's trained over time and ah 1 of the things that I've noticed is that we tend to be ah, very. Very poor at recognizing which reactions or unconscious ah ah reactions we have ah are man my brain's freezing on this 1 Ah. They're not serving us anymore. We don't recognize when they're not serving us anymore a lot of times and so. |
| 03:38.32 | Max Shank | I think it has to do with the subconscious self-image. So whatever Selfim image you truly hold subconsciously that's going to be the driver of those reactive or reflexive or unconscious decisions. |
| 03:53.69 | mikebledsoe | Say more. |
| 03:56.76 | Max Shank | Okay, so you have this version of yourself this story of yourself that you believe that you are comfortable with remember the eco's top Priority is to sustain to keep things status quo to get as much control as Possible. So. Whatever your self-image is like your subconscious will reflexively choose to reinforce that Position. So If you're not giving yourself well, you need 2 things a you need to take that pause if you would like to choose consciously. And B which proves quite a bit harder is you have to alter your selfimage which takes conscious practice and I think writing down what your target self looks like I know James clear ah talks about how. You make up an identity and then you'll choose to be your choices will be congruent with that identity. So That's 1 way of looking at that. |
| 05:03.59 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and well an identity is is built up like what's connected to identity is is beliefs what you believe about yourself. But Also what you believe about the world and if we want to look at this from a ah physiological perspective. There's a lot of neural connections. There's actual physical neural connections that that either support or don't support ways of viewing the world and so a lot of that has to be done and this is what they look at with Psychedelic Medicine Why it so helpful is because it. At a physiological level changes those neural connections or allows those neural connections to to change and so the more repetition you have an old identity or in an identity I won't say old in an identity the the more physical Connections. You're going to have so it it takes. There's a bit of work that has to be done in order for someone to change how they view themselves and how they they view the world and what they believe about those things. |
| 06:07.57 | Max Shank | Big time you gotta be willing to like this like a snake that doesn't shed its skin will die So You have to be willing to shed those dead layers in order to embrace that new identity and. That can prove very difficult because you have to basically suffer a partial death in order to do that. |
| 06:31.61 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that that identity is from from my view is largely formed from avoiding certain feelings. So kids at a young age. They they. They experience something. They have a feeling they don't like it they decide hey I want to avoid feeling this ever again. So I will behave in a way that allows me to avoid feeling this way and if I ever start to feel this way then I'm going to change my behavior and that really shapes. The identity that shapes that or what we could call personality so that shapes personality that shapes identity and that ah that identity stays away from certain things and indulges in other things and ah. You know we talk about you know parts of that that ego or that identity that's going to die and it doesn't want to die. But I think a lot of it is is the the self doesn't want to have that experience it doesn't want to experience that feeling that that feeling that feeling to a child is like death. You know you ever watch a 4 year old just go to fucking pieces because someone took his favorite logo lego you know or or toy car he is acting like it's the end of the world. Yeah. |
| 07:52.27 | Max Shank | Well it is because he has the inability to see the big picture I think that's 1 of the things that I've noticed most um is that for a child It's either the best thing ever or the worst tragedy that has ever befallen them. And there's not really an in-between because they're purely present and in fact, their brain waves are basically similar I think it's theta brainwave to psychedelics. So everything is new and different. Everything is right now. So there's no there's no attachment to. Last week and there's no understanding of next week it's just what's happening right now I skinned my knee it hurts I'm going to scream Bloody murder or what's happening right now I'm chasing a butterfly and running around and this is the best butterfly I've ever seen. |
| 08:42.92 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and so a lot of behavior comes from what that 4 year old chooses and that those neural connect connections are made. There's feelings that are judged as to wanting to avoid all these things and so that that starts creating a lot of that. On a macro scale. The unconscious patterns. The unconscious reactions. Ah, and so ah, that that's why I say the majority of how we behave is is unconscious. |
| 09:09.47 | Max Shank | Um, it's not. |
| 09:15.14 | Max Shank | And it's not just avoidance right because we're always naturally moving toward pleasure away from paint. So would you say it's both. |
| 09:21.94 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well,, there's there's things we avoid and there's things we indulge in ah and I mean I've known people. Well I'll talk about myself. Ah I used to indulge in guilt and so someone would think well you're crazy. Like well if you want to know what you tend to indulge in is just where do you spend the majority of your emotional space. Where is you know? Maybe you're playing a video game or you're working and your mind is fully engaged in something else. But that moment that you break from that. And you get that moment with yourself What kind of memories. Do you pull up? you know, do you pull up memories that make you feel joy Happy Sad Guilty you know, Ah, whatever it may be and so I think that it would be good for for anybody to do an assessment and go. Ah, what is it that I indulge in and then also what are the emotions that I rarely experience or maybe maybe I start to experience them and I figure out a way to ah ah avoid Them. You know there's where a lot of addiction comes from is. Ah, the addictive behavior is an avoidance you know people are addicted to video games or porn or yeah substances and it's because they want to get away from something. So Ah yeah. |
| 10:45.29 | Max Shank | It's all escapism right? it it doesn't matter what lever that you're using. It's more about what are you trying to escape and if you don't go through that then you'll just pick up a new addiction if you happen to quit 1 It's like chain smoking and donuts at an a a meeting. |
| 10:58.34 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 11:02.99 | Max Shank | Like ah this so much better and maybe for some people. It is a lot better. |
| 11:04.75 | mikebledsoe | We will get addicted to exercise I Watched you know I'm sure you do too you we we both own gyms and there's people that come in that are I don't know how many people there were. They're basically alcoholics and chain smokers before they they came to work out. |
| 11:10.68 | Max Shank | Oh yeah. |
| 11:17.30 | Max Shank | And right. |
| 11:22.97 | mikebledsoe | And then they found Crossfit and which cross Crossfit I think got popular amongst those types of individuals. Ah yeah, they because the thing is is if you if you if you push yourself under heaviest loads possible. |
| 11:31.26 | Max Shank | Masochists. |
| 11:41.30 | mikebledsoe | Or you go to the extreme and get into these glycolytic workouts or you get into these high endurance workouts where you know you start getting into this place where your mind really has to be focused on the present or else you get fucked up. So if you're squatting 500 pounds and you're not present. |
| 11:54.16 | Max Shank | Further. |
| 11:59.87 | mikebledsoe | Guess what it's you're gonna hurt yourself. You know you're you're going for time and all you're trying to do is breathe and that's the only thing you can think about is breathing and feeling your body Even if it's not enjoyable. It's still better than you know, having that moment with yourself. So I think that I think that particular. |
| 12:05.84 | Max Shank | Um, yeah. |
| 12:16.45 | Max Shank | Um, the. |
| 12:19.19 | mikebledsoe | Exercise protocol lends itself to people who who want to escape. |
| 12:23.89 | Max Shank | I Think it's good to like the idea of Escape is we don't avoid things we avoid feelings. That's what's so interesting and when it comes to the identity. You also want to consider the role and you have to look at. |
| 12:30.46 | mikebledsoe | Right. |
| 12:43.51 | Max Shank | A couple things neurologically so neurons that fire together wire together and Neuron neural pathways are just like So basically the more you fire nerves along a pathway. |
| 12:47.27 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 13:02.96 | Max Shank | The more efficient you get at firing that same neural pathway which is why sometimes people feel a familiar pain pattern like in their shoulder or whatever. Even though there's no problem there anymore. It's just been so reinforced because what happens you get this fatty. |
| 13:14.18 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 13:21.52 | Max Shank | Tissue called Myelin which is called a Myelin sheath it wraps around the Axon and it's basically like insulation. So The conductivity is Greater. There's less signal Loss. So It's like it's basically like going from a dirt hiking path. To a superhighway. You know the more you go through that same neurological firing pathway. Ah the more efficiently that you can go through there and there's definitely less resistance which is another electricity term. It's funny how there's all these. |
| 13:58.19 | mikebledsoe | Well it is a it is an electrical system. |
| 14:00.74 | Max Shank | Similarities. It is electrical exactly so you got to recognize that the more that you have fired a certain pathway. It's probably going to take um, an equal and opposite amount of counter. Action action or counteractivity to form a ah new pathway because you will subconsciously or reflexively gravitate Toward. What is the lowest energy cost and most familiar. |
| 14:31.85 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and going back to the quote from the beginning is that that ah that time in between is ah the time in between stimulus and response that space is our power to choose. |
| 14:38.90 | Max Shank | The. |
| 14:50.54 | mikebledsoe | And at least our growth and freedom and so there are what you pointed out before the show there are there are times where you want a reaction so you know Imminent Danger Imminent Physical Danger. You usually want to rely on reactivity If you. Know you know what? I'm just going to take 3 breaths and gonna I'm gonna think about this when you're dead right? And so yeah, flinch is a man Ah Tony Blauer Ah went to 1 of his courses and ah. |
| 15:09.94 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, while a ah punch is coming at you and you should have just flinched. |
| 15:27.46 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, he he bases everything off the flinch because he goes look. We could train you in all these crazy tactics. But you're not going to train it enough like I'm not going to train you well enough in a weekend. So let's just go up. Let's let's start with the flinch and then. |
| 15:28.47 | Max Shank | Yeah. |
| 15:43.29 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 15:45.91 | mikebledsoe | After you flinch. What do you do next because the flinch is actually a good reaction if somebody goes to hit you or you're being shot at or you know, whatever it's and you're not going up. You're not going to untrain that flinch and so. |
| 16:00.60 | Max Shank | It's like reflexive piggybacking right? He's taking this reflex that already happens and you're reinforcing it in a better way. |
| 16:07.73 | mikebledsoe | Right? right? And so um, so some we're not saying that everything. Every reaction is a poor reaction but I do want to point out is um, having been myself I've done some tactical training in the military and the whole point of that tactical training is that you're going to repeat the same behavior. So many times that it becomes a reaction. They actually when you get into a firefight. You don't want to be in this. You do want to try to remain calm. |
| 16:35.94 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 16:45.37 | mikebledsoe | And you do want to breathe easy if you can but at the beginning of ah of a situation when a situation breaks out. You're not gonna start off calm you're gonna go in this heightened state and then you've got to calm yourself down with breath from there but that that 2 to 3 hree minutes that takes you to calm down. That's. That's when you get killed and so you gotta the the whole idea is there what what? I'm pointing out is there is a way to there's 2 parts here. There's a way to take a breath and train yourself to have greater. Time to consider your choices for the best response possible but there's also the ability to train yourself situationally to where you don't have to have that time to respond in order to make the best choice possible so in both cases. |
| 17:37.57 | Max Shank | Um, yeah. |
| 17:40.31 | mikebledsoe | We're trying to maximize for best outcome by either reaction or by choice and your reaction can only be decided before the situation occurs and the ability to respond is something that can happen in the moment. But only if you're not put in to as long as you you can remain downregulated to a degree. So if someone comes in your house and starts putting a gun in your face your ability down regulates not going to be too Great. You're better to go with your reaction until you can downregulate into a better state. |
| 18:14.68 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, maybe I think um, what use. Ah you know you can make the right choice and still get a bad outcome I Think what you're touching on. There is really valuable because it's. |
| 18:18.73 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah, maybe is the right answer. Ah. |
| 18:28.40 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 18:33.87 | Max Shank | You're practicing 2 different things. The first thing you're practicing is the ability to stay calm under pressure and when I was competing and fighting. We would basically 1 guy would get in the corner of the ring and he was not allowed to throw punches and he was not allowed to move. And he would just get punched at any who the the practice was to watch all of the punches come. You know we were allowed to keep our hands up, but the whole point was don't think about anything else. Just let the punches come and try to keep your eyes open so you don't go into this. Flint response. So that practice is calm under pressure which is giving you the ability to use your higher order thinking and then the other thing you're talking about matches the different stages of learning so you have. At the very beginning when you're learning a new thing. It's pure cognitive stage like juggling or music at first you are thinking about everything that's going on. You're thinking like okay I have to throw the ball here and then I have to throw the ball here and then I have to move my hand like this and then basically you get to the. Autonomous level which is so it's like cognitive associative. Ah, sometimes there's like more steps than that basically but the end result is that if you practice something enough. It becomes very automatic. So that's the second thing that you're talking about is you train something so much. That you have implanted a new reflex. |
| 20:09.33 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean you're you're reminding me of the the quadrant of ah the unconscious incompetence conscious incompetence conscious competence and unconscious competence. So the stages of learning being that so I'll repeat everybody. |
| 20:19.83 | Max Shank | Unconscious competence. Yeah, exactly. |
| 20:28.24 | mikebledsoe | Starts with unconscious incompetence. This is you're not good at something and you don't even know how to improve at it and you may not even know that you're bad at it until you're put in the situation then conscious incompetence is I know that I suck at it and I may be trying to get better at it. But I'm having to think about it and I'm still not that good at it. |
| 20:37.50 | Max Shank | The. |
| 20:47.79 | mikebledsoe | Conscious competence is I have to think about it in order to be good at it if I become unconscious during the process I'll slide into old behavior old patterns and do it poorly and then unconscious competence which is ah which is I have I've intentionally trained this behavior and now I. Become competent at this skill or whatever it is um even in an unconscious state and so I I think that the idea is to move through that with as many things that you find Valuable. You know your your values are going to Dictate. Ah, what it is that you're going to become competent at. |
| 21:24.27 | Max Shank | Well and what's really interesting about this is you can ah build really bad habits going through the same Way. So That's 1 of the values of having a really good coach or a mentor and 1 of the dramatically bad costs. Having a bad mentor is you might build bad patterns like let's say you're learning how to exercise and you learn exactly the wrong way. But you get better and better at the wrong way and that's why it's so valuable to have someone. |
| 21:56.56 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah. |
| 22:02.77 | Max Shank | Pay attention to you like in some of the dance classes I've taken. Um I Really appreciate when the teacher will call out a mistake right away. So I don't reinforce that bad pattern. It's just like you know I'm doing my thing and I'm trying to keep up I'm doing this like African dance shit. |
| 22:14.54 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, um. |
| 22:22.76 | Max Shank | And you know of course I'm coming from a little bit of fight background but also a lot of just robotic exercising and I just hear like this guy yelled no and I'm like startled but I really appreciate it because the last thing I want to do is reinforce a destructive pattern. |
| 22:40.74 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah. |
| 22:42.54 | Max Shank | And make that the autonomous thing So I like I like where we're at right now so we have reflexive or reactive and then we have conscious choice which can be um, improved upon it allows us to use the neocortex and I think. Unless you have something else to add the next logical place to go is logical fallacies where you are operating from your wizard brain but you are ah basically being tricked to make. A destructive or ah, a wrong choice because of 1 of these like psychological or logical fallacies like ah the sunk cost fallacy if you're familiar with. So yeah, tell folks at home about the sunk cost fallacy. Well. |
| 23:30.25 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, go it? Yeah tell tell tell us all. Yeah. |
| 23:38.73 | Max Shank | The sunk cost fallacy is like you have put in a lot of effort already. So even though you should not put any more effort because it's a lost cause you'll keep putting more in just because you've invested so much and the easiest example is if you're playing poker and. You put in more chips and you put in more chips and you put in more chips and you see the final card and you don't you don't make your hand that you are trying to make you don't have a good winning. You don't have a chance at winning. But you still put more money in the pot just because you've invested so much and. It's hard to tell the difference between getting crushed by the sunk cost fallacy and grit like sometimes you should persevere and follow through and sometimes you should cut your losses so. It's really hard for people to. Notice the sunk cost fallacy and if you're operating from like your lizard Brain. It's nearly impossible to because you'll be emotionally locked in. You'll be emotionally hooked with that fallacy. |
| 24:50.16 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean you hit on a good point there which is I think a lot of people a lot of entrepreneurs run into that is ah you know because it's getting difficult. Is it something that am I not meant to do This is it supposed to be easy am I not supposed to do this should I change industry should I. Is my product. No good but whatever it is and then ah yeah on the other side is and you hear you hear ah coaches and consultants and speakers recommend different things. Yeah on 1 side you got the the people going if you don't love what you're doing then you should quit and then. |
| 25:27.27 | Max Shank | The 1 |
| 25:29.33 | mikebledsoe | On the other side which by the way I'm a pretty good quitter. Ah, the other side is you know now you got to grind it out and this and that and so 1 of the things that I've learned how to ah make this choice because I've quit a lot of things but I will also will also grind um and I've had to learn. There's a lot of grinding I did where I should have walked away sooner and there are things that I got lazy about and didn't put a lot of effort into because I ah thought it should ah should be easier. Um, and sometimes it was ah but I've all you know I've stuck with things longer than I should have and I've I wouldn't say I've ditched things before but there's there's been times where I spent a lot of time contemplating whether I should quit something while while grinding through and. Really finding that what I what I like to do is go look I will grind I've actually worked more this past I'd say like 6 seven months than I Haven in a very long time I say the last 3 years it's been 3 years since I worked this this much and I've worked hard but. |
| 26:41.49 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 26:45.85 | mikebledsoe | Ah, but the thing is I'm inspired so I'm doing I'm working a lot of hours. Um, figuring out how to be as productive as possible I've done a lot of shit this year with my business that did not work I get I hit like roadblock after roadblock I the business. Ah. Almost ran out of money at 1 point there was I hit a lot of things that there that some people would say man. Maybe maybe like if you look at the year before the business was doing twice as good What's what's going on now. Maybe you're just not supposed to do this and and that crossed my mind for a moment but. What I really experienced was like I'm still inspired to do this I'm not working because out of desperation I'm not working because like I need to make a dollar like I could I know and and part of it is is like I've been around long enough that I can make dollars a lot of different ways like I've done it a few times |
| 27:33.55 | Max Shank | Ah, what. |
| 27:43.66 | mikebledsoe | Ah, exactly yeah, super easy money. Ah, it's really it's easy hard money. But ah, the. |
| 27:43.92 | Max Shank | Prostitution For example, easy easy money for you. |
| 27:52.74 | Max Shank | Well I Like what you're saying because it requires wisdom to know if you have a tendency to quit early or a tendency to um, get emotionally involved in a decision. That's not good overall and. What I noticed part of the reason 1 of the many reasons I enjoy chopping it up with you is because you and I approach things very differently like I really have not taken a lot of big risks I've never really laid out ah a large amount of Capital. Into anything I've always been like the the slow cooker type of mentality. But I'm also able to try more things and I'm able to um, like cut those losses a little bit more easily and. |
| 28:31.65 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 28:46.81 | Max Shank | I Know we've mentioned in a podcast before but you got to recognize that anyone who's done Well whether it's like the more like long slow or the you know company just blows up and makes a ton is basically every success story has a lot of failures. |
| 29:05.14 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 29:06.30 | Max Shank | Along the way and you're not going to know which thing people will like the best and and what people like the best has nothing to do with how much effort you put into it either. Um, and then the last thing that you said that I liked was. |
| 29:19.68 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 29:25.65 | Max Shank | You feel like purpose or passion. Maybe I'm maybe I'm the 1 who came up with the word purpose there. But if you are if you feel like you are satisfying a life purpose or following your bliss as Joseph Campbell Puts it. You won't find anything difficult like you'll just keep putting in more time you won't find yourself wishing you were doing something else because you're like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do I'm Doing. It's like ah a hammer hammering nails like this is the intended purpose I am a hammer. My purpose is hammering Nails. So If you're doing something that you're really interested in ah then you'll be able to get through those moments where things don't seem to go right. |
| 30:16.20 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, ah 1 of the things that's really helped me out ah is I'd say more recently I used to get really hung up on um, the purpose or passion conversation and. I noticed that when I was younger and I see this with a lot of young entrepreneurs or new entrepreneurs is they get caught up with a thing like they're passionate about you know a type of coaching or they're passionate about a method technique. Whatever it is and because. Probably because it made an a large impact in their own life and for myself. Um, when I started my latest business. The strong coach. Um, actually it's not the latest build it business. It's the latest business I'm still running ah the strong coach. I started that business because I loved coaches and I put coaches First I had all these ideas of what I want to teach them how I want to teach them all these things and then I started with my beta group. My first cohort back in 2018 and I realized they needed no a bunch of shit I had no intention to teach and I wasn't as interested in teaching it but I already but I had the information so I I needed to give it to them. Um, and I noticed that. Because I was so passionate about helping coaches with whatever they needed to be successful in getting their own clients results because I was so passionate about that that I didn't care if I was teaching business or leadership because I was more passionate at the time if I were to if I were to choose a passion around a thing that I wanted to teach. It would be around leadership and personal responsibility and and and a lot of personal development topics. Not um, as much about business even though I I had taught business before. |
| 32:17.00 | Max Shank | So you got clear. Ah you got you got clear on who you wanted to serve more than anything else. |
| 32:25.94 | mikebledsoe | It's about who and who and so like 3 and a half years later I am more passionate or I I would say I carry the same amount of passion now as I did 3 and a half years ago and that's because I did I found. Group of people who I want to help the most the people who I would surround myself with the the people who like I don't I can't solve all the world's problems. Um I I want to make people as healthy as possible and make people on the planet healthy. But I know that. That people aren't gonna do what I say and I don't know how to do everything I don't know what the right answers for everything I'm not going to create something that solves all the problems but I know huh I'm sorry you're you're doomed but I but I go you know what though like I look at things and I go look I am. |
| 33:09.35 | Max Shank | Damn it I hoped you would I hoped you would. |
| 33:22.91 | mikebledsoe | Uniquely positioned to help coaches and coaches are uniquely positioned to help people in ah in an era where there's an over too much information to sift through and so it takes someone who's going to be an expert in something and and hold someone's hand and guide them there. So um, so like you know sometimes sometimes there are moments where I'm like man am I really doing something that's making the difference in the world I Want to make um and then you know I remind myself of that So when it gets when it gets. What I know is what I'm doing now is what I know how to do best. That's gonna make the the most positive impact for others and myself and and and the thing is is I read this book mastery by Robert Green I know I've brought this up on the show before but he talks about having you know. |
| 34:08.76 | Max Shank | So when when. |
| 34:20.80 | mikebledsoe | People who create really innovative things in the world that make a big difference tend to have mastered up to 3 things and it could take 7 to 10 years to master something so a lot of people don't come up with their greatest innovations till they're in their forty s fifty sixty s because they needed time to master a few things and. And I look at it and I go am I going to do this forever I have people go how long are you going to coach coaches and I go as long as long as it's obvious that I should keep doing it and the way I'll know it's obvious to do something else is when something else comes along that just completely. Ah, feel feels bigger and more expansive than what I'm ah, currently doing and for someone who I'm someone who really loves having their options open. You know I have yeah, that's ah, that's a personality trait that you know on 1 side of the coin you have people. Who if they make a commitment to something in a month from now is like on on Friday the twenty ninth I'm going to be at this person's house doing this thing man that makes them feel so good that would drive me nuts because I'm like oh. Like is there a better opportunity going to come up is that go to be my favorite choice that night. how I don't know how I'm going to feel the week leading up to that I'm somebody who likes that I feel more relaxed and better about having ah many choices up to the last minute so there's different different personalities and so because. |
| 35:35.94 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 35:46.75 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 35:51.54 | mikebledsoe | I Have this thing where I don't really I prefer freedom over over the the illusion of certainty The the yeah I do prefer a little more chaos over order. But ah the some. |
| 35:56.47 | Max Shank | Over order? yeah. |
| 36:09.75 | mikebledsoe | Thing I keep my mind is well if this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing because I coached a lot of coaches. So I this is the kind of the thing I get from them. It's like oh I don't know if this is what I'm supposed to be doing I'm like who cares just do it and it doesn't you can always change it later and and everything you're doing right now. |
| 36:20.79 | Max Shank | Try it and see yeah. |
| 36:27.16 | mikebledsoe | If if you're meant to do something else when you get to that thing. You're meant to be doing the big pie in the sky thing which probably doesn't exist ah is like raining on people's parades ah is that you're practicing everything you've been doing up into this moment is getting you prepared for that. So. For me if I'm if I'm getting better at business I'm like man this is great getting better at marketing copywriting creating offers making social media posts podcasting. It's all like even if I'm not doing a thing that I'm quote unquote supposed to be doing in 5 years none of those skills are going to be bad to have accumulated in order to to achieve that and I've I've had moments in my current life where I go wow I had to go through you know all this bullshit. What seemed like bullshit at the time so that I can be effective at what I do now and having a lot of gratitude for it. |
| 37:21.91 | Max Shank | Are. |
| 37:25.49 | mikebledsoe | And I I bring this up because I I want people to be able to put themselves wholeheartedly into the choices that they're making in this moment and get as much out of it as possible learn as much as you possibly can and. While holding this perspective has really helped me to achieve peace when in the face of uncertainty. |
| 37:50.73 | Max Shank | Well, it probably makes a lot easier because it makes it easier to choose when you have a clear purpose because then you will choose congruently with that purpose if you have a clear role or identity and a clear purpose then the choices are going to be easier. So The other thing that you mentioned is you're going to change your mind like if you are are waiting to make the last decision you will never make 1 You know what? I mean like I just want to. But yeah, ah because that's also me like i'm. |
| 38:18.79 | mikebledsoe | Um I like I like how you said that if you're waiting to make the last decision. Yeah. |
| 38:29.51 | Max Shank | Ah, naturally very patient. It's easy for me to not be dynamic when there doesn't seem to be a need for it. I mean charlie munger says about you know patience and prudence in the past and then betting big when the the time is correct and that's really more. My style like I I've recognized that in life. You know, even like growing up broke. Ah, you don't have to make a lot of decisions. You just have to bet big when the time is right? So you don't have to be racing around on a wheel all the time. So the whole idea of like decision fatigue sounds like kind of funny when you realize how few decisions you actually need to make it's just that when you make them you have to really? um, do so heavily when the odds are heavily in your favor. |
| 39:22.22 | mikebledsoe | I Think a lot of people. Also they they make a choice and they start questioning their choice instead of giving giving their the choice they made their full attention. |
| 39:23.94 | Max Shank | And. |
| 39:33.92 | Max Shank | Yeah, and it's good to like evaluate your choices so you can make better decisions in the future but you want to um, give things a chance to work before you you quit on them I think and the fact that you bring up coaching is perfect because. |
| 39:46.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 39:52.63 | Max Shank | What what is the job of a coach if not to help you make better choices now the tactic for how you do that you can ask leading questions. You can point blank give them a recipe and say like hey I have this recipe for putting together an offer. So if you follow it. And you fill in the blanks your offer will probably be a lot better than whatever you come up with on your own that's like 1 way that you can coach someone is you can teach them a formula and the other way that you can coach people is you can provide Feedback. You're doing well this you're doing not so well you should change this. You should keep doing this um and then you can also answer questions. We talked last week about the difference between support which is answering questions and accountability which is I'm asking you questions. Um, and it's all it's all about how to make better choices and I think that's a perfect segue into authority which is another logical fallacy that people fall into as well. So you have the authority of a coach you are going to put. More weight into what a coach says just the same way. You're going to put more weight into what your doctor says because they allegedly know more than you do about health and they may in some ways know a lot more than you do about health. But if it's tricky because. Authority is how we get comparative advantage. So comparative advantage is an economics term. Basically if I can earn 3 hundred per hour coaching then I pay an electrician 1 hundred per hour. Um, the overall gain is better. Because I couldn't that's an hour that I couldn't spend coaching if I tried to do the electoral myself even if the result was just as good which it wouldn't be but you have to ah give the authority to that electrician you have to trust that he's going to. Make the right choice for you and so our whole society is is based off of that type of authority in different areas and it gets tricky when you start. Um. So like Authoritarianism I guess is where we'll come from there and I hope I didn't like gloss over too many things but basically authoritarianism is where 1 person makes all the choices for everybody else and controls the choosing and that's not what we have done in ah America for a long time. |
| 42:41.42 | Max Shank | In most cases. Um, but we do selectively have um, centralized control and people argue politics all the time but the only argument really worth having is. Who is the authority and what is their Jurisdiction So who decides and when do they get to decide and we've all kind of agreed that if somebody murders a guy and the judge says guilty then we take away that person's freedom and throw them into Jail even though they would. |
| 43:18.83 | mikebledsoe | Right? So yeah. |
| 43:19.32 | Max Shank | Not choose that right? So That's that's basically the only argument worth having is who's in charge and when do they get to decide. But of course you know if you watch the news people are arguing about stupid bullshit all the time like nobody is talking about. Authority and Jurisdiction. Even though those are the only important arguments to have. |
| 43:40.44 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and Authority is is not something that somebody can just assume Authority is granted by the individual or a group of individuals. So if you hire a coach you're choosing for that person to have authority. Um, and. And it's not absolute authority with a coach because they're making suggestions right? It's not like they're not going to I want to meet the coach that uses the stick just just put a ah shot collar on your balls. |
| 44:02.36 | Max Shank | Right? That's how I do my coaching. |
| 44:16.51 | mikebledsoe | And every time you do something I don't like I'm going to zap you. |
| 44:18.22 | Max Shank | I Have a farm out in the middle of nowhere where people have to give up all their worldly possessions and then I beat them until they're great coaches. Ah so the other the I. |
| 44:28.45 | mikebledsoe | I Um I just I just got uncomfortable I'm like ah too close to the truth. No I'm just kidding. |
| 44:37.60 | Max Shank | The the other side of um, the logical fallacy of appeal to authority which is um, it's a way to say that my choice is inarguable if I say I'm the doctor I'm the scientist I'm the ph d. Ah, you have to trust me then that is an appeal to authority which is another logical fallacy and you're very likely to be coerced into a bad decision. The other um side of that is an ad hominem attack. Which is where you're attacking the individual and you are trying to disqualify what they have to say so you know you have a person a and person b let's say person a is an authoritarian and let's just say we'll just call him doctor science because those are really good authority tags. And then we'll have person b we'll call him a conspiracy nut job and the whole idea here is if you focus on the authority of these labels then you're not going to be evaluating or choosing based on the content of the arguments. So if someone who has lots of authority makes a bad argument and you just respect their authority. You might walk into a trap similarly if someone is labeled as a nutjob or a wacko or whatever. You're not even going to give any credence to what their argument is even if it has a valid premise and a logical thought process. So. That's why it's really important to not um, Blindly follow an authority or blindly ignore someone who's been labeled as like bad. |
| 46:26.36 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah I mean you got to think for yourself, you got to you got to be able to take the information and and process it but people people that's not an efficient way to do it right? There's it's like ah cultural neural pathways are set up. |
| 46:27.13 | Max Shank | Or dumb essentially. |
| 46:44.45 | mikebledsoe | To just say all right? Whatever this person says we'll just do it I don't have to think about it's It's culturally, it's a cultural unconscious pattern that's been built in. |
| 46:53.24 | Max Shank | Well and it's responsibility. It's the difference between a child and an adult and a big part of growing up is you are no longer ah blindly following what the parent or the Authority says the whole concept of freedom itself is about choice. |
| 46:58.30 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 47:12.11 | Max Shank | The only difference between sex and rape is Choice. There's no, there's mechanically.. It's like the Same. It's just about whether you have a choice or not so it's really important to understand that your freedom. Lies in your ability to say yes or to say no your ability to choose freely is what freedom is all about and I can't think of a more important concept and like you said Authority is given. |
| 47:30.72 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 47:47.20 | Max Shank | Right? We have these rules in our society. The rulers rule with rules and really we have crime and punishment which means we have labeled something as a crime and we have a consequence that follows it so you are sort of accepting. Those consequences for your actions and when you accept responsibility for your actions then you also have power over your choices part of the reason a lot of people don't want to do that. Ah, myself included for a long time is then you also are taking potentially the blame for those choices. But it. It really is the difference between ah the child role and the adult role if you are willing to accept the risk then you get the reward and and reward is just a type of consequence. It's like what happens consequently what happens next after you. |
| 48:45.50 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, and 1 thing I want to point out is well I think I think you said you you talked about the word. No and just the the ability to say no ah is highly underrated. Um. |
| 48:46.16 | Max Shank | After you choose. |
| 49:04.94 | mikebledsoe | Not used and the thing is is no matter how someone's labeled if they don't honor your no if if someone is trying to do something to you and they and you say no and they don't they don't you know they still push the moment that you're. There's physical interaction. It's called violence and that's immoral so to not honor. Someone's note to to not get their their consent is ah is violence. Um, whether that be ah for sex or for a vaccine. It's. Both of these are violence if it's forced upon you? Yeah, So well if if it's well I would say violence is the initiation of force and force could be We could I like to put violence in the category of. |
| 49:47.74 | Max Shank | It's coercion right? because Violence violence isn't always immoral is the only slight disagreement. |
| 50:01.41 | mikebledsoe | You initiated the the physical interaction. The force and a defense is just using force like if someone comes into my house and tries to Rob me and I shoot them I didn't conduct violence I I used force and so. |
| 50:09.31 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 50:14.86 | Max Shank | Ah, that's why yeah I thought I I would say the opposite I would say you responded violently but you were right to do so so and I think you you and I do a good job of being semantically precise or at least clarifying what we're talking about. |
| 50:22.85 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 50:33.20 | Max Shank | So that we understand what the other person is saying. |
| 50:33.17 | mikebledsoe | Right? Well and coercion is the threat of violence. It's It's the it's and or the the threat of you know you're never gonna work in this town again or you're you You can't you know. |
| 50:38.14 | Max Shank | Well, that's 1 way. |
| 50:52.13 | mikebledsoe | To take away your livelihood or whatever. So that's coercion. Either way. |
| 50:53.94 | Max Shank | So coercion as I've understood it to be defined is the deliberate interference with property using fraud or force. |
| 51:05.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, ah Wikipedia says coercion is is compelling a party to act in an unvoluntary manner by use of threats including Force. It involves a set of various types of forceful actions that violate the free will of an individual to induce a desired response. For example. A bully demanding lunch money from a student or the student gets beaten. These actions may include extortion Blackmail torture threats to induce favors or even sexual assault in law coercion is codified as a duress as a duress crime such actions are used as leverage to force the victim. To act in a way contrary to their own interests. So ah, yeah, yeah I think I think that for for both of what we said that that summarizes it is it really really well and so. |
| 51:45.37 | Max Shank | That tracks. |
| 51:56.80 | mikebledsoe | I point this out and part of this conversation was inspired by a dm conversation I got on Instagram with somebody who was very emotionally triggered by a post I made and to be told the post was supposed to cause people to think and connect some dots. |
| 52:14.14 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 52:15.88 | mikebledsoe | Um, and you know I imagine a lot of my followers were able to connect those dots because I got a lot of people who liked it and then I got 1 person who did not like it and ah she was extremely flustered and even admitted you know in in the the dm she said. |
| 52:24.80 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 52:33.81 | mikebledsoe | You know every fiber of my being says this is wrong. It's like there's this admission of like this emotional hijack or a version of logical fallacy and um, you know I think we we got to be careful of those things. Um and and this is why. Ah, the United states was set up as a republic and not a democracy. Ah the the founding fathers recognized democracy as ah as a dangerous as a dangerous way of doing things the greeks the greeks started off as a republic and then they deteriorated. |
| 52:54.10 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 53:10.90 | mikebledsoe | Into democracy thinking you know all the while the story the narrative that was told and the story that's being told now is that democracy is an democracy is an evolution when in fact, it's ah, a devolution from a Republic and a Republic is set up in a way that that reduces. The amount of Authority a single person can have it really dilutes. Ah this ability to create violent action or coercion against a certain population of people it it creates a lot of checks and balances. It's why there's an electoral college. Ah, for voting most people don't really understand how that works. Um, yeah so um. |
| 53:52.27 | Max Shank | Yeah Mob rule. Otherwise right I like that you called it a demockery that's kind of hilarious I know that was like a freudianlip or something but I I think a demockery it's mob rule if. |
| 54:00.69 | mikebledsoe | It was it was but I'm using it from now. Well like you said a democracy is my role. Yeah. |
| 54:08.94 | Max Shank | If I get if I get fifty one percent of the people to say that. Ah we should be able to Rob and rape the other forty nine then it's legal to do So is that fucking insanity or what like that's crazy. |
| 54:19.90 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well. Ah, my buddy who has probably more racial ethnicities in his background than anyone I know he's he's as as mud as they come. You know he says ah and I quote him because he he can speak on this. Like the greatest minority on the planet is the individual and in a democracy. The individual is not honored at all democracy and and communism have more alike than a Republic and and democracy and So. Ah,, there's yeah. |
| 54:59.51 | Max Shank | That's where all the evil stuff happens too like people are like oh jeffrey dahmer he's so it's like like yeah sometimes that happens but we know him way more and nobody talks about like chairman mao and stalin and Mussolini and all these fucking that racked up. Way bigger numbers I mean if we're really to yeah I think a hundred million under mal okay like. |
| 55:18.15 | mikebledsoe | Millions tens of millions of people more more people have died under Royalty Royal commands and communist demands than any other no other individual has ever. Caused more harm than people who are in charge of Communist countries. |
| 55:39.28 | Max Shank | Right? Because there's no um, agile rebalancing you know when you're able to vote with free choice a you're not gonna have interactions that are net loss you and I would only choose to do business if. What I have is worth it to you is worth at least a little more than what you pay so when you have a society that's based on win-win or profit. Um, you can rebalance you have that agility. So there's going to be um that the food supply. For example, you're not going to have some central planner make a mistake about how much food there should be because there's gonna be opportunity for people to choose lots of different foods and there will be this. Competition and collaboration and um I think that's 1 of the most important things is that we're allowed to rebalance and vote with our dollars I mean look we could go down a deep rabbit hole about how the fed has really fucked up the. Value of money through quantative quantitative easing which is just a really finesse way of saying like we're fucking with the currency. Um, but look the reality is if you're free to choose. That's great and if you're forced to obey that's usually not great and I don't want to make such a ah broad generalization. But the whole reason we have free speech as amendment 1 and um, use of violence or right to bear arms. Number 2 is because those are the only ways that we can interact with each other to resolve conflict we can resolve conflict with our words or we can resolve them with violence and of course we would preserve to do it without. Ah. Physical violence. But sometimes there's no other choice and that's why that's baked into this idea of individual freedom. |
| 57:53.69 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and I I think we would we We have to mention I mean now that we're down this track if we're we have to talk about ah capitalism and so ah to me. Ah. |
| 58:05.67 | Max Shank | Stop. Um I I Wish we I wish we had capitalism in this country? Cronyism um. |
| 58:12.50 | mikebledsoe | Decentralization I Wish we did too. Yeah, but we have um I don't know if this is I don't I don't know if we have like the greatest expression of capitalism Currently there is and we do have cronyism. |
| 58:24.28 | Max Shank | No, we have cronyism. It's horrific. We have we have lobbying we have all of these special. It's fucking look. It's It's not the worst but it's really deviated a lot from the concept of what capitalism should be. |
| 58:40.22 | mikebledsoe | Well the the concept of capitalism in its purest form has never been. You know the only time this existed is when probably in the old west when the the reach of government really couldn't get out and. Impact people's lives in say Nevada I mean ah I read Mark twain's autobiography and he traveled all over he he seemed to be fairly unfettered by anybody to do any business that he he would like to do um and paid no tax. So he um so I think that. |
| 59:02.11 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 59:17.93 | mikebledsoe | If we like zoom out on a macro scale. This idea of capitalism like it's always existed to some degree anytime. There's an exchange of services and goods in an exchange of value for those things that's ah, that's a capitalist endeavor when when choice is involved. Where where it's a voluntary and interaction and and pure capitalism like you're like you're alluding to is is where there is no. Ah there is no friction between voluntary interaction. There is no force. There is no coercion being brought in by a third party ah, third party butting their nose and say you're and my business so to voluntary adults creating an exchange if you read it's voluntary. This is what this is all of this is getting down to and. |
| 01:00:05.75 | Max Shank | That's the key word is voluntary. That's the key word. |
| 01:00:13.90 | mikebledsoe | There's a really awesome series I Bet you've watched it ah which is called ah, free to choose or freedom to choose by Milton friedman. It's free on youtube milton friedman ah he does he does such a good job of talking about. |
| 01:00:19.38 | Max Shank | Fuck. Yeah I've seen it. It's free on Youtube folks thomas souls on there too. |
| 01:00:31.80 | mikebledsoe | How Capitalism has led to the point where we have all this innovation like it's what's responsible for the ability to have all the goods and services that we have at our disposal now. Um, no thanks to government regulation. The thing about Capitalism I Think about Capitalism and there's been times where it's exploded and there's times where it's It's been retracted I think we're in a ah phase of Contraction. We're contracting on capitalism right now for various reasons and and I think yeah. |
| 01:01:04.33 | Max Shank | Fear I believe isn't that the only way that freedom gets eroded is through fear I'm pretty sure. |
| 01:01:08.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, so fear is doing that. But if we think about capitalism what it creates if you look at what Milton friedman describes in that in that series is It's really a decentralization of authority. So. The more voluntary interactions that we have in the world the more the individual gets to practice their own authority that they are the authority of their own life. Um I call that sovereignty if you if you have sovereignty that means that you are the authority of yourself and. And Sovereignty being a word that only used to be used according to royalty because they were the ones that were above the law right? They they could basically break all the laws and nothing happened to them and there were sovereignty with yeah exactly and so like the idea of sovereignty. |
| 01:01:48.72 | Max Shank | Ah, right? like. |
| 01:01:54.99 | Max Shank | Right? Kind of like our politicians now. |
| 01:02:03.10 | mikebledsoe | Ah, individual Sovereignty was something that was also ah very at the forefront of the forming of the republic of the United states and when the declaration of independence was drafted the constitution a lot of this was based on individual sovereignty as a. A philosophical backbone and so capitalism is something that has to exist in a free society because it is the epitome of voluntary interaction and you can tell if something is is capitalist or not because what max was saying at the beginning. But we have is cronyism or crony capitalism and there really isn't there. There are companies that are leveraging the government and to use violence and coercion. Ah you know disguised as in the words of regulation um to. Ah, basically force companies out or or force companies to do things a certain way. It. It creates a lot of involuntary behavior and when we have involuntary behavior that creates conflict and so if we want to have a a world of peace and without conflict then we. We really need people to to practice their own authority over themselves and realize that they are um, they are their their own ruler. So um, and which brings me to like anarchy the word anarchy all it means is without a ruler. |
| 01:03:33.95 | Max Shank | A. |
| 01:03:35.84 | mikebledsoe | And a lot of people you know Anarchy has been associated with with chaos. Ah, and it's a really good propaganda play to associate anarchy with chaos because most people have been tricked into believing that humans are evil. |
| 01:03:40.55 | Max Shank | Have. Right. |
| 01:03:55.77 | mikebledsoe | And that they they want to be violent and that you need to be made safe by somebody else when the truth is is most people are peaceful loving just want to get along I don't want to pick a fight most people will avoid those situations. |
| 01:04:09.28 | Max Shank | The chance of killing yourself versus someone else killing you is like a Hundred times more because there are different like even just pure like suicide outpaces murder by such a dramatic amount. It's like. |
| 01:04:27.64 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 01:04:28.41 | Max Shank | 4 times or something like that. Maybe even more maybe 8 times people kill themselves way more than they kill other people. So This idea that your neighbor is dangerous is the only argument that can be made to take away. That sovereignty and it's like we talked about you know people who trade freedom for security will lose both and deserve neither. |
| 01:04:52.78 | mikebledsoe | Well I'll also say no 1 can take away your sovereignty like you are a sovereign being you do have the authority of your own life. If and if anyone else has authority over you. It's because you gave it to them now if. |
| 01:05:02.35 | Max Shank | What and there are consequences Totally no. |
| 01:05:09.87 | mikebledsoe | If you do something and someone who says that they're the authority over you they come and cause violence on you. That's an amoral action and so that's something that most people just won't be able to wrap their heads around and that's okay, but ah because. Most people are brainwashed into believing that you know the government or what they deem to be the Authority really is looking out for their best interest even if they make a mistake the overall. Ah the overall idea of it is beneficial. |
| 01:05:44.45 | Max Shank | I Think part of the reason for that is once you realize the opposite it like shatters your illusion of reality so it is so ah surreal it. It is a reality shattering experience to recognize the fact that oh. |
| 01:05:46.18 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 01:06:03.76 | Max Shank | Wow 12 years of school is a really bad investment for a child. Oh Wow look at how the tax dollars are squandered Oh Wow Look how many soldiers have been sacrificed in fucking Pointless Wars Oh Wow look at all these politicians flexing their power and taking away our freedom so they can grease their own pockets. Oh and it just goes On. And on and on and on and people like oh well, the media wouldn't lie to you and the reason they the reason. Yeah exactly Well. The reason people don't do that is because you have to like shatter your previous comfortable version of reality. Even if it is. |
| 01:06:27.91 | mikebledsoe | Um, the media is just 1 big advertisement. |
| 01:06:42.42 | Max Shank | Even if it's wrong. It's familiar so you can keep your ego intact if you're just like no no, no, they they know what's best they're doing What's best for everybody and you know a lot of the time. It's just impossible to say after the fact but I feel like we've gotten a little too far down. |
| 01:06:45.80 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:07:01.63 | Max Shank | Or maybe just appropriately far down the rabbit hole of ah choice within a societal framework or within the state. But I think we can easily bring it back around and kind of. |
| 01:07:10.42 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:07:19.64 | Max Shank | Wrap up the idea that if you are what you said earlier really resonated if you figure out who you want to serve just ask them like if you're not sure what to do just ask the people that you want to help. And they'll tell you what they want, you know what? I mean like then you're you're very likely to make the right make a constructive choice. |
| 01:07:40.56 | mikebledsoe | Yep, like. |
| 01:07:45.49 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, spot on spot on. That's that's the 1 of the biggest things that ah that I teach is if you're ever confused about what to do next go ask your clients. Go ask your potential clients. |
| 01:07:49.37 | Max Shank | I think. |
| 01:08:02.74 | mikebledsoe | And ideal customer. |
| 01:08:05.12 | Max Shank | It's kind of like you know you and I tend to resonate with male entrepreneurs around 30 years old for obvious reasons like I understand it I don't understand women I've tried to I've done a lot of I've done a lot of work in the field. |
| 01:08:10.37 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, like. |
| 01:08:22.10 | Max Shank | Trying to understand women but I'm still pretty confused. |
| 01:08:24.89 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that's that's a code yet to be cracked and I think it's not supposed to be cracked because it's ah the the mystery is a big part of the attraction in my opinion. Yeah. |
| 01:08:37.60 | Max Shank | Yeah, we we like things that are different but familiar wasn't that weird. |
| 01:08:44.52 | mikebledsoe | What let's close this down any ah, any final thoughts on this. |
| 01:08:51.20 | Max Shank | Final thoughts on how to choose better take a pause. Be aware of the so you take a pause then you are able to use your wizard brain Once you take a pause Then. You will likely get trapped by logical fallacies If you're not aware of what they are and if you're not sure what to do? Um, just try to make your choices align with the identity and the purpose that you want not necessarily the 1 that you have. Because your subconscious self-image can lead you toward the same life. You've always been living but of course the whole idea is to let go of that so you can make room for a new and better 1 and then. Once you make a choice. Don't be afraid to quit if it's wrong. But Also once you make a choice make sure you give it a chance to actually work so really test it out in the field and the other thing I would say last but maybe not least is. |
| 01:09:56.12 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:10:08.14 | Max Shank | If We're talking about a choice for Business. You have no clue and people will lie to you until you offer it up for sale whether it's a service or a product or anything like that if you're like hey I got this thing and you tell your friend they're like oh that's really cool. No no, don't ask their opinion. Ask if they want to purchase it like that. That's what really ah tells the story. |
| 01:10:33.37 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, just no skin in the gain with an opinion. Ah yet. |
| 01:10:38.10 | Max Shank | No skin in the game. We've been talking shit for an hour. No skin. It's easy to talk. It is cheap. |
| 01:10:44.98 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, that's why I say talk is cheap. Ah yeah I yeah I'd say like the big takeaways from me that I'd like people to leave with is um, you know. You can you can choose. You can get better at choosing now in the moment by learning to downregulate yourself. Ah when when faced with something that's stressful and you can also choose in the past or you can choose in the present the train for the future by ah, training yourself. To acquire skills that you you imagine you might need in the future like you might need to acquire the skill of taking a gun out of a holster and shooting a piece of paper that may be something else down the road but the going from unconscious incompetence looking at the area of your life where you want to make improvements. And looking at where you're incompetent and then choosing the the number 1 thing that you want to do and then train that with conscious incompetence be okay with being incompetent. It's something that you're trying to get good at and then watching yourself go into conscious competence and then getting the point of making it. Ah, unconscious competence and if you really take that perspective when you when you step into learning I find when I did that that I I started learning a lot faster because it was kind of strange the more patience I had with myself in realizing where I was at in the process. Allowed me to down regulate which allowed me to learn more quickly and then the last thing I want to mention is a lot of the principles that we talk about are happening on an individual level and according to 1 of the hermetic principles as above so below as within. Is without and basically what that means is whatever' is happening in this context and what I mean right now is whatever is happening for someone on an individual level psychologically the way they approach things is the same you're going to see the same manifestations happen in large groups of people in society whether it be. |
| 01:12:51.47 | Max Shank | A. |
| 01:12:53.99 | mikebledsoe | Ah, school City or an entire nation or the whole world. There are pieces of this individual psychology that applies culturally and so when you learn ah when when you learn 1 really deeply when you go to connect the dots to the other. It. It makes a lot of sense So worth paying attention to so if you're ever confused about why an entire society is behaving a certain way I'll just look at why individuals behave that way when when they're left to their own devices. So. |
| 01:13:25.78 | Max Shank | Oh man, that's good. It made me think of 2 more things actually which I think are really important 1 is that you can choose now about the past so framing your experience might be the most important choice you ever make. Because if you frame your experience as 1 of gratitude rather than 1 of resentment or victimhood then you are basically dooming your future based on your past. So I think that's 1 of the most common problems I see people have when they continue to make choices that are self-destructive is. They have not framed their experience in a constructive way. You know if you were beaten as a child and you say oh I'm a beaten victim versus I was beaten as a child clearly my parent wanted. What's best for me and clearly they cared about me. They just didn't really have a good way of showing it and regardless of all that it made me the person that I am today so framing your past is a very important choice that is worth putting on paper and that leads to the second thing which is your state of being. Physically and mentally will strongly influence your ability to make decisions. So if you are seeing the world with abundance. Mentally if you are um, exercising regularly if you have adequate blood flow. You're going to make better choices if you are stagnant. Your chi your blood All that stuff is stagnant. You're going to make worse choices that are more contractive and so I think between the choice of framing your past and your present to help your future and also changing your state. Can be crazy beneficial and sometimes it's better to sleep on it before you make a decision sometimes better to go for a walk or run because your state of being will heavily influence your ability to make a choice. |
| 01:15:27.98 | mikebledsoe | Absolutely Ah, anything you want to mention besides Maxsank Dot Com for finding you. |
| 01:15:38.20 | Max Shank | Yep Maxsank Dot Com and if you'd like to outsource all of your decision makingking to me I would be happy to enroll you in my Authoritarian program. You don't need to worry about choosing for yourself anymore I will just assume all your earthly possessions and I'll I'll tell you what to do from here on out. |
| 01:15:55.40 | mikebledsoe | Ah, perfect. 1 thing I want to mention by the way I've been getting messages from people that they're listening and enjoying it so I want to let all the people that are listening know that I have the strong coach summit coming up in March. |
| 01:15:55.51 | Max Shank | So. |
| 01:16:12.49 | mikebledsoe | And so if you want to check that out. Go to the strongcoach dot com slash summit or you can just hit me up on Instagram I'll give you the link so just want to let you all know about that so that you don't find out about too late and then you're mad that I didn't mention on the show and then. You know people get upset with me a lot. So. |
| 01:16:29.65 | Max Shank | By the way I was just joking I ain't your mom I don't want to make your choices for you. |
| 01:16:35.34 | mikebledsoe | Ah, it's like a fake plug in front of ah, a real plug and it's like ah ah all right? Good show. Let me brother. |
| 01:16:44.48 | Max Shank | Love your brother take care. |
| 00:00.00 | mikebledsoe | Welcome back to Mondays with mike and max and help'm coming to you from mephis tennessee I went I went home for thanksgiving and that's where I'm hanging out where you at Max you're still a home I can tell on the camera. |
| 00:14.98 | Max Shank | Yeah I'm home I'm home in ents need is California. It's pretty nice here. It's winter time but I still get to go on walks with no shirt on so it's great. The sun goes down probably around four 30 I want to say. |
| 00:25.25 | mikebledsoe | The sun just goes down earlier. |
| 00:32.30 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, I Ah um. |
| 00:34.23 | Max Shank | 35 very exciting. We're talking about the weather this is good. The the pleasant treat. Why don't you tell the folks at home. What the weather's like over there. |
| 00:41.54 | mikebledsoe | Well this is this is what happens when you master a life of ah of ah balance and get rid of all all excess the weather becomes interesting in the sun Sunset time becomes interesting. |
| 00:55.61 | Max Shank | Spare spare me your inane platitudes. Let's get down to business. |
| 01:01.77 | mikebledsoe | ah ah yeah so we do ah we want to talk about excess today. Um, and you know max and I have both experienced a lot of excess in our lives and there's a lot of benefits to it. But there's also some pitfalls and ah. We're going to dig into what those may be and how to what you can do to navigate these waters of life because I do think that we're all drawn to excess in some ways. What are some of the what are some of the ways you were drawn to excess. And your in your youth max. |
| 01:38.94 | Max Shank | Oh gosh I think it's important to have a distinction between surplus and excess which seems very similar. So for me I just always wanted a surplus of cash and. Like everybody else I wanted to be loved so I wanted love power and attention in that order which is something we've talked about a lot and I think having a surplus is a natural inclination for people. That's why. People set up retirement accounts. That's why they have a savings account That's why they get married so they can lock in their relationship and you know with excess you might eat too much food I mean I definitely did that. When I was a kid and still I just exercise enough that it doesn't matter so I'm not really overweight but when I was a kid I was fat and it was because I just ate too much food I consumed too much television and later too much video games and then. Um, it's it's just an over concentration or an imbalance in 1 area and I think it's really common because the only way you can improve your situation is to increase your means which is get more. You can reduce your needs which is needless or you can change your attitude about it and those are really the only 3 ways that I think you can improve your situation so I was hyper focused on increasing my means which is gaining more power. And early on I really just was so focused on getting more and spending less because I was living a very Spartan existence and is because I was very focused on building up that Surplus so I would eventually feel. Secure financially because that was probably the biggest insecurity I felt when I was young younger I guess. |
| 03:55.53 | mikebledsoe | Well, what? what was? Ah, What was some of the things that you were that was you build up a surplus but what what did you experience in excess I Mean well you talked about food ah video games all these types of things. Did you experience. Um, excess and fitness or anything like that. |
| 04:17.24 | Max Shank | Oh yeah, Absolutely um, crazy excess and it was because it was so positively reinforced right? people. We think we've talked about this before I would do a strong thing and people like oh yeah, we we really love it when you do this strong thing and in my head I'm like okay so this is how I get love now is I do a strong thing and then I just layer more and more on top of that without really pausing to think about the big picture. |
| 04:36.14 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 04:47.39 | Max Shank | Of the life I'm trying to live So I think I was excessively concerned with how I appeared to others and that probably drove a lot of the destructive behaviors. |
| 05:00.90 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think um I mean when when we first brought this up what I thought of was excess leads to being desensitized and putting ourselves like in extreme situations. |
| 05:12.65 | Max Shank | Um, what. |
| 05:20.94 | mikebledsoe | Repeatedly over time will desensitize us so ah, exposing yourself to extreme amounts of sugar over a period of time will desensitize your your cells to insulin and your ability to produce insulin may be reduced. Um. And you stare at the sun too long in excess your eyes will become desensitized to be ah ability to sense light and so I think that I think and then the the first thing that really came up to this I think what led to this was the talk about porn. |
| 05:58.39 | Max Shank | No. |
| 06:00.16 | mikebledsoe | And how porn can is porn in itself to me I've gotten to the point where just any porn at all seems excessive around Sexuality. So I mean if I want to say excessive. You know there's there's porn and then there's excessive porn. I'm sure it can be consumed in a way that is beneficial or helpful or maybe not so bad. But if we look at if we zoom out and look at the the whole picture of sex I think consuming porn does lead to a desensitizing of. Men and women alike I think men are more susceptible to it. Ah get deep. They get desensitized to ah just what they think a sexual experience should look like the you know. |
| 06:39.93 | Max Shank | Less imagination too. |
| 06:53.21 | mikebledsoe | You're more than likely not going to be picking up that girl that looks like the porn star you were looking at Yesterday. Ah you know, ah that you were saying ah you know the volleyball team's not going to just you know? Yeah yeah, like. |
| 07:03.30 | Max Shank | Wander into my sex dungeon. Yeah, exactly like it's just very unrealistic expectations and pornography is interesting because there's no clear definition of what it is like we don't know what it is just the same the same thing with ah addiction. We have ideas of what it is addiction. You could say is a repeated behavior that gives you an outcome that you don't want right? that could be 1 definition but there's a lot of dissent There's a lot of disagreement. About what addiction really means there's a lot of disagreement about what porn really means because I don't know if you've ever checked out the fitness hashtag on Instagram that that is like soft core pornography like that that'll get me going. No worries now. |
| 07:57.16 | mikebledsoe | That's true. Well yeah I've had ah I've had to unfollow so many people because ah I don't have the problem now because I I put a stop to it. But yeah, there's I'm on Instagram I'm following this girl and then next thing I know I'm like. |
| 07:59.93 | Max Shank | Back in my heyday. |
| 08:12.13 | mikebledsoe | Oh shit, you know I got to go finish this. It leads it leads me next thing I know I'm I'm porn up you know. |
| 08:17.71 | Max Shank | Well like you said there's a way to appreciate visual and audible stimuli. In a constructive way and there's also the shameful slow destruction of your soul as you just watch like more and more depraved stuff and frankly you know I'm not into kink shaming. You know some people really like um pottery. And some people like hooking their nipples up to a car battery and it's not for me to say which of those is like the best way to spend your leisure Time. You know what? I mean if you like what like who could who can say what you do with your leisure. But. |
| 09:09.30 | mikebledsoe | I'm with you? Well I I would say this that the longer I go without porn the more interesting My actual sex life becomes. |
| 09:16.70 | Max Shank | And I mean I don't know if you still whack off. But if you use your imagination for that. It's kind of like you're you're flexing a muscle a little bit practice practicing your imagination. |
| 09:27.77 | mikebledsoe | What do you mean flexing what flexing ah flat flexing the imagination muscle. |
| 09:34.22 | Max Shank | Yeah, exactly so rather than being dependent on this stimulus that you may or may not feel shame about and once again, like you said it's just a ah slippery slope into something that is more and more stimulating just the same way that serial. Has become more and more sugary where it started out as like oh it's honey Nut cheerios. We're going to put like a little sprinkle of honey in there and people are like yeah and then before you know it, we got cookie crisp which is a bowl of tiny cookies like how the fuck did that become cereal. |
| 09:59.60 | mikebledsoe | Oh. |
| 10:09.37 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 10:11.74 | Max Shank | And it's just like ah it's an arms race and excess is what kills most people in America there's no question about it. Excess food creates stagnation. You never have time to clear out all of the um. Energy all the sugar or the Metabolites. So the byproducts of these reactions and um excess I refer to the creation consumption ratio. So if your creation consumption ratio is just wildly out of balance. You're not going to feel a lot of authority over your own life and that's what's so fun is the word authority has the word author right in the middle there. So the more time you practice being an author. Rather than a reader you're going to feel more agency over your life too. Otherwise you're going to just be fully addicted to the dopamine machine and it sort of doesn't matter what lever you're pulling whether it's a porn lever or. A social media lever or ah, different consumable drugs. You know it's it's hard to say what's going to be more destructive for a person. Um, you're probably better off having. Ah, few cocktails every single night then spending many hours scrolling through social media and getting into the excessive comparison because now it's like if I compare my professional success and aesthetic appearance to dwayne the rock johnson. Just going to feel like ah a pile of shit every day I'm going to feel so far behind the 8 ball I'm like what am I doing but it's not natural to compare yourself against the top fraction of a percentage of mutants. Of 7 billion like it just it just makes no sense so you get in that comparison. |
| 12:24.41 | mikebledsoe | Well, you're also comparing yourself to you know photo shoots and best days you like I'm not I don't when I'm having a down day I'm not posting the fucking Instagram I'm not I'm not posting the the 7 hours I sat at my desk and ran. |
| 12:30.76 | Max Shank | Yeah, all that stuff. |
| 12:44.35 | mikebledsoe | Ran numbers to talk about. You know how cool entrepreneurship is I wait until I wait I mean I Even even I'm someone who tries to like be as real as possible on on social media. |
| 12:46.45 | Max Shank | We We should do that We should do a whole series of like the lowest moments he ah ah. |
| 13:02.50 | mikebledsoe | And I still like it's like oh yeah, I've rented this dope car and I'm driving across these cliffs and this is what entrepreneurship looks like but you know there was also 5 other days. Yeah everything I got paid for it. |
| 13:08.61 | Max Shank | That was all I did that was all I did I It was fully curated I Only showed you a specific angle of snapshots of my let the best ones too and people. We're under this idea that I was just racking up. W's every single day like it couldn't be easier I'm like doing all this amazing stuff man his whole life must be like that. It's like are you kidding me. |
| 13:38.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, or it's like a lot of people will go man. You're doing so many things I'm like well I'm involved with a lot of things I'm not actually doing a lot of things. Ah but I could see how that looks like it when you when you're looking online. |
| 13:55.44 | Max Shank | Well oh. |
| 13:56.93 | mikebledsoe | And yeah, you're comparing yourself to my online image again. It's yeah it won't be helpful but I like what you're saying the excess comparison because I mean avoiding comparison Altogether that's that's difficult. But. |
| 14:03.19 | Max Shank | Yeah, conversely. |
| 14:14.80 | mikebledsoe | Social media has created an experience where excess comparison is very easy and you are you are comparing yourself to the best on the planet I mean the benefit of the internet is that look when I have kids I'm not just having them learn from any math teacher. |
| 14:19.63 | Max Shank | Yeah, oh. |
| 14:33.93 | mikebledsoe | Um, probably gonna enroll them in the khan academy which is absolutely free online. Ah and have 1 of the world's best mathematics teachers teach them. It makes sense but the flip side of that is is that the excess comparison. It also is made available. |
| 14:36.19 | Max Shank | And. |
| 14:51.76 | mikebledsoe | And comparing ourselves against people who are the best in the world at a thing. |
| 14:55.58 | Max Shank | That's what allows us to do better. Um, it's kind of like the 4 minute mile. No 1 could break it no 1 could break it 1 guy broke it. He showed it was possible and because news traveled so fast. Everyone's like oh man so that's how it works. |
| 15:00.12 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 15:12.28 | Max Shank | And the same thing's true with all kinds of stuff like you can watch hours and hours of fight film or sport film to really evaluate what the best in the world are doing I think the you know I tend to be my own harshest critic. Which is why I Also don't really care what people say because like I've already been as harsh as I can toward myself about the truth of what I'm doing well or not doing well and I think as long as you can do that in a like a kind way. |
| 15:42.23 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 15:49.72 | Max Shank | You can be kind to yourself. That's probably the best way to go about it. |
| 15:51.65 | mikebledsoe | Well I think what you're getting at what I'm hearing in all this is It's is long. You want to make sure that you're it's staying useful. So your comparison can be useful ah and and pushing you forward. |
| 16:09.74 | Max Shank | Discernment. |
| 16:10.67 | mikebledsoe | It's probably not going to create a lot of joy for you but it may create. Ah it may create drive and for for accomplishment and and whatever the things that we tend to value as ah westerners. Anyway. |
| 16:17.50 | Max Shank | Um, yeah. |
| 16:23.84 | Max Shank | I think you want to have discernment um with regard to actions rather judgment of the person and I think that would be best applied to yourself and to other people like if you. Safe something stupid which I mean I think that's happened a few times on the podcast already. Not today maybe also today I'm not saying that you're a stupid person by by Judgment. You know what? I mean but. |
| 16:55.84 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 16:58.43 | Max Shank | Just the same way I would think that oh I said a stupid thing I wouldn't judge myself as stupid because of that you know I'm saying so it's really important you have to be discerning Otherwise you're you're like living in fantasy land and you're never evaluating behavior so you never have a chance to learn. |
| 17:02.81 | mikebledsoe | Um, well yeah, there's um. |
| 17:14.71 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it's a gift I What I mean recording my my thoughts and then putting them online for everybody to hear talk about a personal development tool I Almost every show I leave saying you know what. |
| 17:31.52 | Max Shank | So just. |
| 17:32.25 | mikebledsoe | I'm not even sure I Really believe that thing I said or or what I said man, there's so many holes in that I haven't really I really haven't thought about it from every angle. So I like talking to somebody else on a podcast and they can poke holes and I go Wow I was running around. |
| 17:43.62 | Max Shank | And here. |
| 17:51.34 | mikebledsoe | I Actually haven't thought this all the way through or from from as many angles as I would like to if I'm going to speak about it and so ah, ah I Invest a lot of time in learning because I don't want to be. Ah, hate being wrong like people that's 1 of the things that most people almost nobody want ah as like ah the biggest 1 of the biggest fears of people is to be wrong. So with the the problem is is most people they don't want to be wrong. So bad that they'll just dig in and and. |
| 18:10.00 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 18:28.92 | mikebledsoe | Ignore any information that is going to challenge their confirmation. Bias. |
| 18:34.37 | Max Shank | They'll create a fantasy that makes their wrongness right. |
| 18:36.56 | mikebledsoe | Right? But on the other side of that like I'm I don't want to be wrong. So I got to make sure that what I say is the right thing versus trying to make the thing that I believe the right thing and convince people of it and I don't think there's any way. |
| 18:45.10 | Max Shank | And. Right. |
| 18:54.62 | mikebledsoe | You know where human nature is to do a little bit of both but there is there are some people who are really far on 1 side and then there's other people who are really putting forth conscious effort to to do it in a way that's that's actually useful and I think it's obvious when you run into those people. Because when you get talking to them. They they're what they're talking about is well fortified with with things that are hard to disagree with. |
| 19:21.21 | Max Shank | I agree complete that's part of why I like our conversation so much is we get to test out our ideas against someone who is fairly objective but also pretty kind about it so you don't feel like we're in a dangerous place. We're going to judge each other personally which it feels safe to me like I don't go fuck. Ah, what's interesting. You mentioned before whenever I've released anything. |
| 19:41.25 | mikebledsoe | It's a safe space. |
| 19:54.66 | Max Shank | Whenever I've finished a podcast whenever I've finished and sent out a book whenever I've completed a course I've never come away thinking that was perfect. My very first response is like going through an inventory. All the stuff that I messed up all the stuff that I wish I had done differently. What I wish I had included what I wish I had excluded and I think that's a big part of what makes you better. It can go too far though. So. |
| 20:27.36 | mikebledsoe | Well this is this I mean I I teach people how to do this most people are so afraid of looking bad that and looking like they're wrong that they they won't ever launch their their coaching program or their course. |
| 20:43.60 | Max Shank | Man. |
| 20:46.21 | mikebledsoe | Or whatever it is and I think 1 of the benefits that I've had I imagine you're similar in this way because I I know this is just um, ah an attribute that a lot of successful people have is it's 80 percent good enough. So I'm going to launch it and so I think. |
| 21:00.20 | Max Shank | Um, right. |
| 21:04.57 | mikebledsoe | Most people and whether it's 1 hundred percent or 80 percent is likely a feeling because there's too many variables to be able to say you know you either feel like it's right or you feel like it's not. It's it's hard to come up with objective. Um, ah. |
| 21:12.23 | Max Shank | Right. |
| 21:23.60 | mikebledsoe | An objective measure of the quality of a content or whatever, especially when it's coming from yourself. So so what I like is like look get it 80 percent there as soon as it feels like 80 percent launch it. But after that continue to improve it. There's no reason to just. |
| 21:25.58 | Max Shank | I Think that. |
| 21:41.68 | mikebledsoe | Let it be but don't not launch it until you know, don't wait till it 1 hundred percent to launch. It. So like I spent the last ten months rewriting all the curriculum for the strong coach and it it is much much better, much much better for having done that. But I will finish the upgrade by the end of the year so I will have spent 1 year upgrading the content and I won't need to teach touch it for 2 or 3 now that I've done it to this degree? yeah. |
| 22:14.89 | Max Shank | Unless you learn something new wishful which will likely happen and I think that's part of the reason that's part of the reason I bring it up too because. |
| 22:21.50 | mikebledsoe | Definitely gonna happen. but but I even wait I will learn something new I won't I won't go in there and change it immediately. All I'll wait 6 months I want to I want to learn like 3 new things before I go and update all my curriculum because it changes. |
| 22:26.72 | Max Shank | Great. |
| 22:33.53 | Max Shank | Right? You don't need to have a third edition just because you learned 1 new paragraph I think the reason I bring this up is people get the idea that my stuff is like really good. |
| 22:38.49 | mikebledsoe | Oh. |
| 22:51.65 | Max Shank | The courses, the books, the videos the podcasts that I do um but the reality is I've never felt like perfectly happy with it once I've let it out there so kind of just know that going in. That you're not going to be like oh now it's perfectly ready and don't don't buy into this fantasy that once you do launch it that you're gonna be like ah Perfect. It's It's exactly perfect I'll never need to look back at that Again. So So don't kid yourself into thinking. It's gonna work out. Exactly Perfect. You will think of things that you wish you had done differently and that's just the nature of how it goes even when things on paper go crazy good like thousands of buyers. Ah you know, basically no refunds. |
| 23:47.80 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 23:47.64 | Max Shank | That kind of thing. |
| 23:57.72 | Max Shank | Some excessive silence here for a podcast. |
| 24:03.17 | mikebledsoe | Ah I mean if you don't if you don't remember it it. Ah I got the software set up to cut out the the long pauses. |
| 24:08.78 | Max Shank | Oh not I Remember. So what do you think? excess food from here. |
| 24:19.33 | mikebledsoe | Well, you know I I um I wanted to circle back on something you said earlier which is being the the author you know Authority has the word author in it and I think that there is a. |
| 24:28.82 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 24:38.74 | mikebledsoe | Ah, in excess of outsourcing your authority and when I think about author I mean 1 1 way people could look at it is. You're the author of the story of your life that seems a bit conceptual I like it. But. |
| 24:54.26 | Max Shank | I Want man. |
| 24:56.80 | mikebledsoe | It's it. You know when you say that to someone like oh yeah, yeah, I'm the author of my life. But. |
| 25:00.23 | Max Shank | Well, you get to put this you You are the spin doctor. You are the propagandist of your own life. You know So I think it is. It's the frame of the picture right? You remember things a certain way. But that's based on how you color. |
| 25:07.44 | mikebledsoe | Totally. |
| 25:17.78 | mikebledsoe | Well, this is what I want to point out is that what does an author do an author just doesn't tell stories an author writes they take pen to paper or they they type word and they write the story out and. |
| 25:18.54 | Max Shank | Those experiences right. |
| 25:30.62 | Max Shank | Yeah. |
| 25:37.28 | mikebledsoe | Ah, most people don't take the time to write out their story. They'll dream up their story and from what I can tell is if you leave your authorship up to just what's happening in your own mind and you're not. |
| 25:41.14 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 25:54.62 | mikebledsoe | Putting a lot of symbols outside of yourself by you know, writing then you're going to be more subject to other people's authorship. You're going to be more susceptible outside Authority because the the you know who who? ah. |
| 26:05.49 | Max Shank | Totally. |
| 26:14.30 | mikebledsoe | Are the best best authors on the planet that they they their their authorship creates the most power they have the most power as authors. |
| 26:17.10 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 26:24.43 | Max Shank | Um, I would say either lawyers or ah, the media people who are yeah. |
| 26:30.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah Lawyers I would say lawyers because they they will write something down. They'll create a law and then people will have to follow it. Not only that they convince these these lawmakers slash policymakers they convinced these these police. These policy enforcers to be willing to kill people in order to enforce this law that they authored they authored it out of opinion. They wrote it down and then they convinced a ah segment of the population. |
| 26:56.75 | Max Shank | Right. |
| 27:07.69 | mikebledsoe | That it's okay for them to go out there and enforce this on enforce other people. |
| 27:08.32 | Max Shank | And that's where the media comes into play right? because they need to um, put it to a vote in the court of public opinion for people to have a positive frame of mind around it in order for it to to get through. |
| 27:21.56 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well, that's how they that's how you got to let people know about the laws you got to let them know about it somehow and the the news is here just to inform you about what is and ah. |
| 27:25.75 | Max Shank | Right? Because they're moonline. |
| 27:34.30 | Max Shank | I Know you don't believe that but it just sounds so chilling anyway. |
| 27:41.82 | mikebledsoe | Ah, so it's um, so. |
| 27:44.48 | Max Shank | The news is to get you to think not only a certain way but it's to distract you from thinking about a different way and that's that's probably the worst part about it is. There's an excess of data points. You know. |
| 27:52.43 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 28:01.59 | Max Shank | We're basically fixed on what we can focus on and every day there's something new and it's tugging at your emotions and the people get played like a fiddle. So I don't give any credence to what people believe I understand that they might feel a certain way. But the fact of the matter is that people are are told what to think about and that is actually maybe even more sinister than being told what to think it's like hey this happened so you should think this way about it like the the main thing is hey everyone think about this today. Everyone think about this today hey think about 1 dude who died in a state that you don't live in. You're like wait. What like that's what we're talking about that's what everyone is talking about that is insanity. |
| 28:52.26 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the amount of focus that they're able to bring so many people's awareness into into a single focus while while the entire world. There's other things happening and then only that bring your focus on something that actually doesn't matter to you. |
| 29:00.80 | Max Shank | Ah, hope. |
| 29:07.99 | Max Shank | And it's so it's excessive new things and it's excessive focus on things that don't really matter because if we were trying to think about what matters politically there are only 2 things that matter who's in charge and what's the extent of their authority and everything else is total bullshit. |
| 29:09.90 | mikebledsoe | It's not impacting your life. |
| 29:27.52 | Max Shank | I would feel really comfortable arguing that point with just about anybody quite frankly, but all of these other little little nitpicky things like doesn't matter. It's just ah, an illusion. It's a smokescreen. It's a distraction. It's misdirection. |
| 29:30.33 | mikebledsoe | What. |
| 29:41.48 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well we have an think people are more susceptible I mean the propaganda is interesting because what we have like if you if you look at old propaganda people who wrote about propaganda decades ago. Um. There's 1 guy can't remember his name right now he said true propaganda can only exist in a country where ah like a place like North korea where they have total control over information. |
| 30:12.77 | Max Shank | What's the difference between propaganda and true propaganda I don't know you're saying the only place that true propaganda can exist is a place like North korea. |
| 30:15.69 | mikebledsoe | What do you mean? Oh true, but where where where they where they have absolute control over how you're gonna think what you're gonna think about oh we do? Well what I'm saying is like this was during a time where. |
| 30:27.44 | Max Shank | You don't think we have that in America you don't think that. |
| 30:35.65 | mikebledsoe | Um, where they were doing a lot of comparison I think this was like this is probably ah propaganda to get you to believe that communism is is worse. Um, which I think it is but the yeah exactly. |
| 30:37.18 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 30:49.15 | Max Shank | It's worse for everybody except the people in charge. |
| 30:53.62 | mikebledsoe | The did you know that Jackie chan is a communist. He's he's part of the ccp he is chinese yeah. |
| 30:58.40 | Max Shank | He's Chinese right? You got basically no choice I don't know what I don't know what he actually believes but the incentive to not be disappeared is probably pretty tremendous. So. |
| 31:03.22 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, but but but he but he but he could but he could have he? yeah. Ah. |
| 31:14.44 | Max Shank | Like if I were chinese guess what I would be a communist too like hey and and hey look just in case things go south. Yeah yeah, and just look just in in case things go south here in America I just want our soon to be overlords to know that I believed in them the whole time and I swear my fealty to you. |
| 31:18.85 | mikebledsoe | Ah, you'd be the best communist. |
| 31:34.33 | Max Shank | You know, whatever it takes look I Knew you guys could do it. Ah. |
| 31:34.42 | mikebledsoe | Um, I was over here. You know I was helping out over here the whole time you couldn't see it. But yeah. |
| 31:41.61 | Max Shank | If you compare to different parts of history like I don't know that that's the funny thing is there are um places in America where it's like really harsh to live and I was talking to someone the other day and they were talking to me. About my childhood and their face was 1 of like pity and sadness because they knew me growing up and they knew what my childhood was like and I don't think of it that way I think of I think of myself as like pretty lucky guy because I compare it to well. |
| 32:09.52 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 32:18.95 | Max Shank | You know there are some villages in Africa where twice a year they steal all the children you know like warlords just come in and steal all the children and and I'm thinking to myself. Yeah, like you know I wasn't so bad to to help out with the rent when I was twelve you know what I mean it's like it's. |
| 32:31.56 | mikebledsoe | Right? I mean yeah, a lot of people will say that's a yeah, well some people say that sad. But what's the long term benefit of that like who that that formed who you became yeah I was roofing houses when I was like 1213 |
| 32:36.12 | Max Shank | It's not so it's all what you compare to. |
| 32:40.82 | Max Shank | Who knows who knows it's too. It's too early to tell like the yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like dude the the whole concept of like giving a ah like 6 year old the grade of an f right? like it's. Oh that kid's failing like we don't know what that kid's gonna grow up and do like we have no clue he his his head isn't even hard yet like he's still got a fucking soft skull like Jesus christ people like we we just try to you know we. |
| 33:03.58 | mikebledsoe | Bright. |
| 33:10.49 | mikebledsoe | That's not even are yeah. |
| 33:20.16 | Max Shank | Excessively Homogenize and that's why we always end up with a worse result and the more you allow people ah just trying to like push everybody into the same square mold because it fits better. |
| 33:25.54 | mikebledsoe | Can can you explain a homogenous what homogenized means for everybody. |
| 33:36.41 | Max Shank | Like that's what school does it teaches you to be obedient and to fit in not necessarily um how to live the best life for yourself. How to understand learning how to understand value versus values. |
| 33:50.62 | mikebledsoe | Well that there's an analogy to this would be ah say homogenized milk like the the milk that you go buy at the store you go to the grocery store in America and you go get the 2 percent or the whole milk. Whatever it is that's homogenized. |
| 33:55.21 | Max Shank | Exactly. |
| 34:01.54 | Max Shank | I hope. |
| 34:06.48 | mikebledsoe | That that milk was taken from a lot of the the same type of genetically modified cows and put into the 1 big vat and mixed all together. You're not getting. You're not getting milk from 1 specific cow and the homogenization that ah coupled with pasteurization which is trying to kill all the germs. |
| 34:13.40 | Max Shank | My. |
| 34:26.90 | mikebledsoe | Has basically made milk undigestible to so many most people. But if you if you what would be the opposite ah hetero Zeni is that or heterogenous. Horogen is out of ah, no, That's not the right word. Um, now that the the opposite of that being? Yeah yeah, individual variable um, is gonna create like my more biodiversity. |
| 34:47.59 | Max Shank | I Don't know probably just variable. Yeah different unique. |
| 35:00.76 | mikebledsoe | If you're consuming that milk it me I healthier So like I liked it and it might be but that whole huge vat might be poison too and the difference. |
| 35:02.70 | Max Shank | And it might be poisoned and it might be poisoned. True. But if you but if you boil it 10 times. It won't be and that's that's kind of the argument for trying to make things as safe as possible rather than as free as possible and that's an argument a lot of people. Ah. |
| 35:21.14 | mikebledsoe | Well should we talk about excess safety excess safety versus excess freedom. Ah. |
| 35:27.66 | Max Shank | Like. |
| 35:32.37 | mikebledsoe | Ah, Max has beaten his head against the microphone. |
| 35:38.32 | Max Shank | Out it that that's like I get it. We can think so far into the future that we're like. And need to get my four ah 1 k I need to get my ira I need to get married I need to do this I want to lock in and secure the future and we're so obsessed with that because we're manic paranoid fuckers and I understand the sensation because I also tend to take a. 30000 foot view and look at the big picture and try to project really far forward into the future. So I can avoid traps and also find the greatest treasures that will give me whatever I think will give me fulfillment even though fulfillment is probably more of an attitude. That you have here and now and just thanking your lucky stars that you made it this far but there is that quote that says people who trade freedom for security will lose both and deserve neither I think it is Benjamin franklin it might be Thomas jefferson but i. |
| 36:43.21 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I mean it's a Benjamin franklin. Yeah yeah, those get those guys were all writing a lot of letters to each other and those those are some very interesting letters. |
| 36:51.61 | Max Shank | It's 1 of those guys those. You know what's fascinating about that whole situation is right before the declaration of independence got signed like months before the vast majority of those guys had every intention to stay with England. And as I understand it it was because of Thomas paine writing common sense that flipped them over the edge and started getting them to think about what it's like to be the authority of your own life instead of accepting that authority from outside. |
| 37:27.28 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 37:34.50 | Max Shank | And if we want to talk about security or safety versus freedom I think it's important to recognize that weak people are going to be the most susceptible to that. Because not only will they accept whatever abuse their ah savior brings them. They will also feel justified in weakening their neighbors so that they will feel more safe. |
| 38:06.62 | mikebledsoe | Oh. |
| 38:09.38 | Max Shank | And and that's what's really sinister about it right? like it's 1 thing to be weak yourself, but it's another thing to vote to basically rape your neighbor because you are not strong enough yourself and that's why they they weaken people divide and conquer and people. Feel more fragmented less United. It's very very interesting. We could explore the psychology of that but it does just throw people right into. Ah the phrase limbic hijack. So you just get thrown into your lizard brain where all you care about is safety and you. Can't use your mammalian brain which is love and community or your neocortex which is big picture thinking and problem solving and that's that's 1 of the evils of the propaganda as it takes you out of your wizard. |
| 38:54.67 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 39:04.44 | Max Shank | Brain the neocortex and just pumps you into the lizard brain. |
| 39:07.42 | mikebledsoe | Well Ah, what? what came up for me is thinking about ah people who who value safety. Um, when people are being sold safety outside from outside and someone else is going to provide the safety I think I think providing. |
| 39:21.62 | Max Shank | Where. |
| 39:26.20 | mikebledsoe | Putting a lot of attention and and having a surplus of safety built up that you're responsible for that you you have control over you know this may be having a certain amount of money in the bank gold bars in your safe guns Ammo Seeds land. All those things. |
| 39:31.50 | Max Shank | M. |
| 39:45.69 | mikebledsoe | Ah, that is that safety when I but but the problem is is that's hard. That's it takes work to do that. You have to you have to think for yourself. You have to learn new things. Ah, and you do have to think ahead. |
| 39:56.16 | Max Shank | It's really hard. |
| 40:04.77 | mikebledsoe | But then somebody comes along says you know what I got you I got these guys that are policy enforcers they'll make sure that no 1 robs. It kills you. You know what? if if you run out of money I got you I'll give you some money. Ah, and. |
| 40:05.88 | Max Shank | I got it. |
| 40:19.71 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 40:23.86 | mikebledsoe | You know what? if you run out of money and food then you know what? ah you can at least get milk and bread homogenized though homogenized. So ah, it's and I think that's what Benjamin franklin was getting at with you know, it's not actually safety when someone else is providing you safety that rug can be pulled out from you. |
| 40:28.85 | Max Shank | So. |
| 40:43.77 | mikebledsoe | Underneath you in any moment because it's not yours. Yeah, yeah, so I think that what ah people really desire to be is anti-fragile and so to me. |
| 40:47.32 | Max Shank | It's dependence versus Independence That's all. |
| 41:03.26 | mikebledsoe | That is where ah true safety lies and so's to be Anti-fragile there's 2 things that I see have to be available and that is planning for the future in a way that you understand that there are things that we can do. To to mitigate risk and at the same time hold adaptability and be able to change in the moment and ah to me That's what leads to a good Anti-fagile state and that's what people actually want but they're so unaware of how to. Create anti-fragile systems in their life that it is like you know what just fuck it. This is a ah complex issue I'll outsource that. |
| 41:47.36 | Max Shank | Well, it's about exposure that's the key word I think because you can either expose yourself to stress and become more adaptable to the stress that will come in life or you can. Reduce the exposure and what happens if you reduce the exposure is eventually you end up in a tiny lockbox you completely eliminate exposure So at the extreme ends you have training. Um. Injecting yourself with small amounts of poison. So that if just in case, you're poisoned. You will have built up ah an immunity to it and then on the other hand you have I'm never going to touch dirt I'm never going to leave my house I'm only going to drink homogenized milk. |
| 42:33.84 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 42:44.55 | Max Shank | That is provided to me by someone else. So I'm not going to expose myself to any risk whatsoever and it works better if people get to assume their own risk because you need to have the um. Person who is making the choice ah suffer or experience those consequences and that's when you get the most evil shit is when the person making the choices is not experiencing the consequences case in point. Um. People who vote on what crime and punishment or laws are to be in place for our medical system. Don't use that creation. They use something separate that is better right? So You shouldn't have. |
| 43:37.50 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 43:41.89 | Max Shank | Ah, bridge build like in in ancient Rome I think we talked about it if you were a bridge builder soon as the bridge is Done. You sit down underneath the bridge while they drive shit over it because you need to have the incentive and the risk and the choice. Like all in the right place and yeah, exactly oh I Actually really like because we we probably talked to a lot of coaches. Also the difference between support and Accountability. So accountability. |
| 44:01.74 | mikebledsoe | It's accountability Ultimate accountability. Yeah. |
| 44:17.16 | Max Shank | If I'm a coach and I want to provide you with support that means I'm going to answer your questions if I want to provide you with accountability that means I'm going to ask you questions and I think both of those are super valuable. So the difference between support. |
| 44:27.72 | mikebledsoe | But e. |
| 44:33.81 | Max Shank | And accountability from a coaching standpoint I think is really useful. |
| 44:36.78 | mikebledsoe | I Like that like that distinction I was also thinking about ah you you you were going off on stress and I got me thinking about excess stress ah and ah stress in excess is called distress. |
| 44:47.79 | Max Shank | Oh. |
| 44:55.94 | mikebledsoe | And the ah the stress that's actually beneficial that is going to provide you with enough stimulus that you can adapt to and learn would be u-stress and so I really like to keep that in mind when I'm training or when I'm learning a new skill or I'm. I'm doing anything in my business and ah 1 really good sign to see if you're in excess of stress is how you're breathing. So if you find yourself holding your breath a lot. You can be sitting at your computer running some numbers if you're holding your breath. You're experiencing distress. Your. |
| 45:25.74 | Max Shank | Um, normally. |
| 45:35.69 | mikebledsoe | You're not pumping out the hormones and and neurotransmitters that are conducive to learning. But if you're breathing nice and slow and you know semi-deep you're you're going to be your body's going to be filled with neurotransmitters hormones that. Are conducive to learning new skills and staying sharp and and not getting too much tunnel vision. So you you can hold the big picture while while focusing in on something. So I I Want to put that out. There is just like a that's something. That's that's useful that you can check in with yourself. If you're if you're experiencing ah that that excess of stress that's 1 way to figure it out and there to me. There's a way of expanding that that zone of youres ah or or the growth zone and that is by expanding your capacity to stay calm in the midst Of. Of chaos. |
| 46:33.46 | Max Shank | That's what I was just going to say is the skill is really being relaxed under stress and the more you expose yourself to it and dose it appropriately the more. |
| 46:37.96 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 46:49.19 | Max Shank | Effective. You will be the more resilient you will be the more useful. You will be people want to be useful you know and if you're weak and dependent. You're not useful and that might sound kind of harsh. But you're really, you're not doing any faith doing anyone any favors. |
| 47:07.16 | mikebledsoe | What. |
| 47:09.14 | Max Shank | In fact, in our current culture. You're you're really harming people. |
| 47:13.46 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think that that is the job of that that is 1 of the definitions I like to identify and define. What makes an adult 1 of my definitions is you're able to parent yourself. You're either. |
| 47:27.76 | Max Shank | Any independent. |
| 47:31.41 | mikebledsoe | You're you're able to mother and father yourself emotionally but also physically in the world but the other part of being an adult your job as an adult and it doesn't mean that if you haven't done if you haven't found the thing. But if you're on the path to finding a thing that. Is most useful like it's it's your job as an adult like a true adult that's contributing to society. They have made it their job to be Useful. You know where am I most useful in the world where am I most useful to society if if you were useful. Um, so useful that people in ways that other people find valuable. They're going to give you a lot of money for it and so I think that a lot of people who ah are struggling with money. They really just. |
| 48:13.94 | Max Shank | Further. |
| 48:25.17 | mikebledsoe | They're usually focused on themselves in a way and they're not actually focused on how they can be most most useful and and if you want to have a lot of money be useful at things at really expensive things be useful at things that people find incredibly valuable. So. Either solve a big problem for a few people or solve um a small problem for millions of people or billions of people and it really to me. That's the question I ask myself over time is is this the most useful use of my time for me is it the most useful. What? Ah, what are my my talents. My strengths my skills that are most useful to society. How can I contribute how can I package this in a way that I find to be beneficial and other people find beneficial too and I think that that leads to more of that that peace and contentment. |
| 49:19.56 | Max Shank | Well, there's something quite beautiful because as you and as you know I'm all about choice and freedom as the and love as the really important pillars for a society to function. Well when you offer. Something to somebody and they voluntarily purchase it. There's something really nice about that when you order someone to do something under penalty of stick. That's not that cool if you ask me so I'm I'm more about carrots. And if you are delivering something if you are offering something and delivering something that is truly valuable and you are not excessively spending. You'll never be poor. It's impossible and there's something very honest about the Market. That determines what people actually want and I think rather than getting caught up in the fact that it's numbers because the numbers are just about accounting. But if you offer something to someone that is really worth it for them. They're always going to take it. You know. So I think the fact that free choice is based on voluntary action rather than forced action and that there is a truth to someone paying for your product or service. It means they actually do want it I remember reading. Long time ago in the four hour work week how your friends will lie to you about your idea, you'll be like hey I got this idea for a widget What do you think and your friends are like oh my god that sounds amazing. You're so smart I love you ha ha and then you're like great I have a bunch in the trunk. Do you want to buy 1 and they're like ah no actually i. |
| 50:57.67 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 51:14.30 | Max Shank | So so people will lie and say oh that's a great idea when in actuality they they don't really believe that otherwise they would put their money where their mouth is. |
| 51:22.96 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that that's 1 reason I I advise a lot of times coaches want to give away their thing for free or at such a cheap rate early on I go like ah this just for research I'm like that's not research, you're researching people who don't care about your shit and. Until you get and then or or they'll launch them like oh I've got a hundred people that are interested I'm like okay and mean that doesn't mean shit either. Ah and it doesn't mean it shit until money's in the bank because that's that's the true indicator of of whether people value it or not. |
| 51:49.72 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 51:59.25 | Max Shank | Is that don't count your chickens before they've hatched. |
| 52:02.67 | mikebledsoe | Oh my God It's all man these ideas have been around for a long time. |
| 52:07.71 | Max Shank | Those old sayings are probably all you need to succeed if you actually paid attention to them. Ah, people people do accept people. Do people do excessive thinking excessive learning ah like that's 1 of my kinks that I'm into. |
| 52:12.77 | mikebledsoe | I I agree I agree I come back a lot of that shit. |
| 52:26.11 | Max Shank | I Like to learn about stuff that won't help me at all and I recognize that it's entertainment I understand you know mental lattice work Framework Blah Blah Blah Whatever but I recognize that it's it's recreation Basically the amount of stuff. |
| 52:38.90 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 52:41.77 | Max Shank | That you need to really focus on and pay attention to in order to live happily and in some level of abundance is so minimal you know most people kill themselves I think I've said this before on the podcast in America most. Death is self-caed because you could cherry pick and be like oh no, it's heart disease or no, it's diabetes. It's like what are those diseases about those are diseases of excess right? like you are either responsible for eating too many fritos and watching. |
| 53:10.82 | mikebledsoe | Right. |
| 53:19.67 | Max Shank | You know too many episodes of the Jersey shore or you're not but the problem is if you blame. There's no end to the blaming right? if you see a fat kid with fat parents. You'd be like oh well, that's of course the parent's fault and it's the parent's responsibility. |
| 53:32.96 | mikebledsoe | I Thought it was genetics. |
| 53:39.30 | Max Shank | Anyway, So yeah, it's Monkey See Monkey do is more like it and I think. |
| 53:43.45 | mikebledsoe | It is what it is Yeah because yeah, you go far, you go far enough back in that family lineage they weren't fat eaten potatoes during a famine. |
| 53:54.52 | Max Shank | Exactly and I think once again, we can be excessively looking to blame rather than effectively looking for responsibility and I think the difference between fault or blame and responsibility is a huge 1 because it's so easy I mean I lived with a chip on my shoulder for years and years and years and was like in my mind thinking about all the people who had wronged me. You know that kind of destructive thinking but the reality is is that here and now none of that matters. |
| 54:23.31 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 54:31.28 | Max Shank | If You can thank your lucky stars that you're alive and probably literate and you have all of these advantages. There are stores full of Food. You probably have a refrigerator a telephone a magic telephone that can teach you anything you have so many advantages. And whether it's your parents' fault that you're fat or lazy or whatever or not kind of doesn't Matter. It's your responsibility now to decide what you'd like to do from here on out and that's where you take back that Authority that's where you take back that authorship and like you said you put the pen down on paper. And you're going to clarify your thinking to an enormous level and I I do that every morning even if it's something that isn't directly related to me earning more dollars but it usually will help me make more sense of the world. |
| 55:24.74 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah I I Um I would say I'm on the excessive thinking as Well. The but I mean I appreciate your excessive thinking because what you just said was probably. Product of that have you read the book mastery by Robert green. Yeah, 1 of the things I Really like about that book is um the thing that really stood out was how he highlighted. Ah how? Ah, some of the most innovative people. |
| 55:45.95 | Max Shank | Yeah Robert greene. Yeah. |
| 56:02.68 | mikebledsoe | Are a product of having mastered 3 things and it taking about 7 to 10 years to develop mastery around a topic or a subject and ah I up until I read that book I tended to judge myself for going from. |
| 56:04.52 | Max Shank | The. |
| 56:21.72 | mikebledsoe | Being really good at 1 thing and then just completely changing industries and going. Oh I was into this but now I do nothing but this and then I did this other thing I go oh it's like you don't know so you know, excessive thinking or excessive collecting of information. |
| 56:24.68 | Max Shank | Right? Up. Ah. |
| 56:41.30 | mikebledsoe | I think that I think it's good. You point out it's entertainment but that entertainment is something that's I find to be very useful in just helping my mind relax so that when I do get back to the things I'm focusing on. Um, it's it's my I come at it with ah with a new mind but also fast forward 5 years you know that that information may come useful most of most of my excess thinking in my my youth has been around philosophical topics and how to think and all these things which have been useful but probably the most useful it's become is having conversations like this which people will now listen to and get some benefit from. |
| 57:03.56 | Max Shank | Um, yeah. |
| 57:20.75 | mikebledsoe | So we both tend to collect what may seem like trivial information but at some point these dots connect into something that's useful. |
| 57:28.43 | Max Shank | And that's usually where innovation happens too. I have a super diverse set of interest. Um I have a 3 ring binder. That's full of study guides ah from different topics that range From. Electricity to chemistry and physics and biology and it's basically like study guides for tests but it just happens to be the highest concentration of information about these topics and I like peruse through these things and you know peruse means study deeply. |
| 57:58.86 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 58:07.30 | Max Shank | Rather than like a quick look over most people misuse that word peruse Peru Yeah, most most people use peruse as like a quick scan but ah, it's just the opposite and if they had perused a dictionary they would they would know that. Ah so so. |
| 58:10.53 | mikebledsoe | Really I did not know that. |
| 58:26.69 | Max Shank | Ah I play a bunch of different musical instruments I have a huge diverse set of interests and then my friend is really into investing and that's like all he studies and he's all about sharpening that 1 blade and we talk about how? ah. The Japanese culture is very much that way. There's not a lot of innovation but there is a lot of refinement so they will perhaps not invent the sword but they will take the invention of the sword and refine it into the best sword ever. |
| 59:02.55 | mikebledsoe | Well, they did it with cars. |
| 59:04.46 | Max Shank | So there's right, they wouldn't innovate something like that. But once they have it now they they refine it and that's 2 ways. Absolutely. |
| 59:10.54 | mikebledsoe | What toy toyota is known to be 1 of the most dependable vehicles and it's because of their manufacturing process is they they revolutionize manufacturing through the 6 sigma. Yeah that what they they're basically did they invent the 6 sigma system. |
| 59:20.27 | Max Shank | Um, that's top down from the culture. |
| 59:27.42 | Max Shank | Have no clue. Yeah. |
| 59:29.34 | mikebledsoe | Or yeah, it's they either invented or or again probably refined it. |
| 59:33.67 | Max Shank | So you could argue that they're spending an excessive amount of time to just refine something rather than being like hey it's good. You got a car already. What's the big deal. So ah, excess is kind of like beauty. It's in the eye of the beholder and. |
| 59:48.95 | mikebledsoe | Well, that's that's that's also the beauty of capitalism right is somebody the japanese could be excessive and and that whereas the west coast of the United states is excessive and and trying new creative things most of which will never work. Ah. |
| 59:52.39 | Max Shank | Typically. |
| 01:00:05.94 | Max Shank | Right? well. |
| 01:00:08.45 | mikebledsoe | And so the California makes Japan possible and Japan makes california possible. |
| 01:00:15.10 | Max Shank | Yeah,, there's a big interrelationship between going wide and expanding your focus out or narrowing your focus down. It's kind of like when we talk about focus I say you have the lantern and the laser beam and the lantern is like a soft radiant Glow. In 3 hundred and sixty degrees and the lasers focusing all same amount of energy all onto a single point. |
| 01:00:40.10 | mikebledsoe | Well this is why you're not going to have a lot of Ph Ds running companies and because they have spent so much of their time focused in on a single subject and in fact, don't know a lot of times. Not all Ph Ds are this way but a lot of Ph Ds I've met. |
| 01:00:50.68 | Max Shank | A. |
| 01:00:57.68 | mikebledsoe | Ah, very smart and is 1 area. Not very smart in a lot of other areas and you take somebody who is you know a serial entrepreneur someone who may be ceoing different companies and their focus is much broader. They know a lot. Know a lot of different a little bit about a lot of different things more like ah a swiss army knife or Jack of all trades and is what I've seen. |
| 01:01:22.40 | Max Shank | Like a concentration of a portfolio like we talked about I think we talked about it last week you know if you put all your eggs in 1 basket. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket you can earn a lot more but you could also lose all of them. |
| 01:01:36.36 | mikebledsoe | How many how many of these sayings revolve around chickens and eggs and because you got ducks in a row too. We haven't brought that 1 up I mean yeah, there's something about foul. Yeah. |
| 01:01:46.77 | Max Shank | That's a good point. A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. That's not true anymore that did I already mention that because a bird in the hand has got to be worth like fucking a Hundred in the bush because think how shitty people are at catching birds like I wouldn't be able to catch a fucking. |
| 01:01:54.53 | mikebledsoe | Now. |
| 01:02:04.64 | Max Shank | Bird in a bush. Ah. |
| 01:02:05.78 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, but if you got but our ah bird shot right? Go you might get five? Yeah, all right I think we're we're starting to become unfocused I don't know if that's actually true I think we've been whatever. |
| 01:02:08.79 | Max Shank | Bird shot. Yeah, a way better chance. |
| 01:02:21.70 | Max Shank | I Think we explored excess to a good amount. |
| 01:02:24.60 | mikebledsoe | We're we're explored a lot now. We're getting off another subjects which is great. Yeah, we don't want to excessively discuss excess. So I how does greatness happen. Oh yep. |
| 01:02:33.53 | Max Shank | That's how greatness happens f y I just to close if you're excessively focused on 1 thing I was talking to someone the other day he dropped by the gym and he trains with his buddy in the garage and he said yeah my friend is always referencing your Stuff. He's always saying oh max says this or max says that he he really? Ah, um, you know he really buys in to what I don't remember exactly the phrase he used but I was like yeah you know I basically just got lucky that I found something that I was crazy interested in. |
| 01:03:07.87 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 01:03:10.40 | Max Shank | Because that's the the big mystery is that I just happen to be really interested in human movement and fitness and pain and psychology and I see that as the way to liberate yourself and. |
| 01:03:15.20 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 01:03:24.63 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 01:03:28.56 | Max Shank | I'll totally eat your lunch if you're just going to be a casual observer of exercise If you're just casually interested in exercise you have no chance to compare to me because you're not taking it to that excessive level. So. |
| 01:03:40.95 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:03:47.77 | Max Shank | If you want to be great at something. There's something to be said about total immersion and I think that if you really immerse yourself in a topic. You can be top ten percent in 2 years maybe even less and top ten percent you're still eating lobster at that point. |
| 01:04:03.42 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, all right I was thinking 1 percent I don't think it takes that I was it. Um, what was the figure if you read 5 books books on a subject you're you're in the top five percent something like I know if that's actually true but that that was like 1 of those. Ah sayings I picked up on is like if you read 5 books on 1 subject because most people never do most people read 1 book on a subject and then they they go. Okay I move on ah on to something else. That's True. That's True. A lot of. |
| 01:04:22.13 | Max Shank | Sounds like um. I mean it depends on the book. A lot of books suck. They might actually make you dumber about the topic even if the person is smart even if the person is smart. Did I tell you about my favorite Author Lee's favorite book Flow have you ever tried to read that book by. |
| 01:04:38.84 | mikebledsoe | Popular books are that way. |
| 01:04:44.40 | mikebledsoe | No oh yeah, we've talked about this chicks and me high. |
| 01:04:49.74 | Max Shank | Mi high chick sent me good god it's like it's unreadable. Um, and I'm excessively obsessed with the flow state where decision making is easier. Athletic performance is higher. Mental peace is higher mental performance is higher. All these things are better I'm like so interested in the topic and I'm trying to get through this book I'm like this guy doesn't know how to communicate an idea like is driving me nuts. |
| 01:05:13.67 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, ah, let's close this bad boy up I um, you know I think my big takeaways here is ah monitor. What's useful for your life and your goals. If you feel you're you're going getting into excess and as max was saying excess is ah very useful if you want to be really good at something but it is probably not the thing that's going to bring you a lot of peace and joy. |
| 01:05:50.94 | Max Shank | It might if you really like it. |
| 01:05:54.56 | mikebledsoe | Well I think that ah you know, maybe if you're enjoying the process. |
| 01:06:00.19 | Max Shank | Yeah I would say that just to wrap it all up with an action point try fasting take a couple days off of food take a couple days off of Media. That's the easiest way to. Get back in balance or at least the fastest way and just write stuff down with pen and paper and write down what you want how you think you can get it what you're grateful for I mean we could go on and on but basically just ah, take a fast from all forms of Media. And put your cell phone away in the drawer turn it off and just get out the pen and paper and see what's there because you probably don't need to read any more books or watch any more videos you just need to organize what you already know and focus it down into something that's useful. |
| 01:06:53.63 | mikebledsoe | Excellent. Love you too later. |
| 01:06:56.80 | Max Shank | Thanks Mikey! Love you buddy later. |
| 00:00.44 | mikebledsoe | I'm gonna try oh welcome to the max Mike or them. Oh no, no no oh I Totally screwed it up already do over do over. Okay, welcome to yeah I'll edit it. Yeah well. |
| 00:03.90 | Max Shank | That's how it works when you try. Okay, we got to do it over. We got to do it over just start start over fuck that wait wait wait. We're still recording though the whole time. Yo no, you won't just start the whole thing over. |
| 00:19.65 | mikebledsoe | I had it every time. Yeah. |
| 00:20.97 | Max Shank | Really oh, that's cool. |
| 00:27.30 | mikebledsoe | Ah, welcome to Mondays with mike and Max or if max is saying it. It's max and mike and today we're gonna be talking about learning. We want to teach you how to be a genius and you know. I would say that max and I are both geniuses at certain things I wouldn't say across the board but we have gotten really good at a few things apiece and ah and and things that we were not good at as children. So it's not 1 of those things where we just became good at it. Because you know our dad did it or anything like that. So we have both put a lot of attention into learning how to learn and that has taken us pretty far I would say most people would say that we're happier and more successful than the average guy. |
| 01:20.13 | Max Shank | Sound really happy right now. No I Guess we're probably just happier than the average person. That's good. |
| 01:21.90 | mikebledsoe | Our age Do I do I fuck I didn't think so. |
| 01:30.80 | mikebledsoe | Um, well I'm happier than I'm happier than ah I used to be I can say that. So um, um. |
| 01:35.84 | Max Shank | Happiness is a state of mind folks. |
| 01:40.34 | mikebledsoe | Ah, maybe um, but you can also learn to be happy. So yeah, holding a perspective and being able to stabilize that state. Yeah well. |
| 01:45.13 | Max Shank | Oh yeah, meditation is a state of mind too. Meditation is a state of mind you can practice that as well hundred percent. |
| 01:58.13 | mikebledsoe | 1 thing that was brought to my attention when it comes to learning is there's a difference between accumulating facts and being able to regurgitate them or to be able to know how to do a certain thing and there's another. It's another thing to hold us. Ah. Hold a perspective so wholly that the knowledge that's necessary to make things happen or to have a conversation just comes with a lot of ease and it's more of ah, being able to stabilize that perspective but people who are into. Ah. Obtaining a lot of knowledge what they'll do is they'll they'll they'll tap into that perspective for a moment and then they'll slide back into their current perspective and then over time you accumulate enough Data Points. You can you can solidify that and then the conversation becomes very very easy when. |
| 02:56.36 | Max Shank | I Call it Toolbelt knowledge I say if you can access it immediately and you use it with some regularity then it's in the tool belt and then you have something That's maybe like toolbox knowledge. Where for example I speak. |
| 02:56.37 | mikebledsoe | Discussing a certain topic. |
| 03:14.96 | Max Shank | Ah, fluent Spanish but there are some words that I wouldn't be able to think of out of the blue. But if someone said it to me I would understand what they were saying and so I think that's more like in the tool like I I can't like you I don't use it all the time and there's been some deterioration. |
| 03:25.16 | mikebledsoe | What. |
| 03:34.10 | Max Shank | But I would understand it like I would know what you're talking about and so I just think of it like you have tool belt knowledge which is readily available and more importantly, you use it with some regularity because there's ah, there's a half -life or there's a shelf life I guess on. Information and if you don't use it. You lose it. That's a big thing for learn for learning. |
| 03:54.66 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I guess similar to the perspective conversation is if if it's it's looking through a specific lens and if you're looking through that lens regularly you're it's in use in it and it stabilizes if you're not looking through it regularly. It gets dirty. |
| 04:13.95 | Max Shank | Perspective is a huge thing. Um, it's hard to even say where to begin with something as important as perspective because perspective is a locale.. It's like are you zoomed in. Are you zoomed out. Are you looking into the past. Are you looking into the Future. What's the the tint on the lens you know that saying ah seeing the world with rose-colored glasses or through rose colored glasses and some people see the world as a ah, very dark and mean and nasty place and they see themselves. As ah, unlucky. For example, but that's just a matter of what you focus on and that whole comparison syndrome that we get into is really the only thing that colors how lucky we feel or don't feel. So. It's all what you compare it to because you can't define something in isolation you have to compare it to something else same with distance same with mass same with ah the way you live anything it all is what you compare it to. |
| 05:23.80 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, was they say the ah comparison is a thief of all joy I find it to be a bit easier to learn things when I'm happy um and can learn more than them. Ah, there's I remember looking at a study at 1 point that said that. |
| 05:27.86 | Max Shank | Um, I've heard that. |
| 05:43.24 | mikebledsoe | If you add play into what you're learning then you can learn up to 20 times faster. So. |
| 05:50.62 | Max Shank | Well play is 2 things you said recently play is the first form of training which is practicing which is learning. That's what animals do like big cats. Small cats too other predators they play. As their first form of killing. Basically so um, play is the first form of practice or training or learning if you want to call it that and then the other thing you were saying about being happy is for true learning to occur. |
| 06:11.39 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 06:28.49 | Max Shank | You need to be interested so you need to be curious and you need to be motivated. Um, you can learn something but you won't truly like learn it and own it if you're doing it just because you must like. For example, school and we could do a whole podcast. About how school is the most colossal misuse of time and abuse of children that I can think of but we'll skip that for another time my point is I mean look it's it's bad but we don't need to belabor the point. Ah yeah. |
| 07:05.42 | mikebledsoe | I'm in agreement by the way I'm not so the the listeners if I'm laughing because I I know where max is coming from not because I think he's ridiculous. |
| 07:07.41 | Max Shank | I'm not gonna change. |
| 07:13.60 | Max Shank | I mean I've taught people stuff in ah in a three day seminar that actually increase their income and their physical health. There's 3 days like that's not long and in 12 years they like don't remember what Sacajawea did they just know that that's a word fuck that shit. |
| 07:20.71 | mikebledsoe | Right? 3 days that. |
| 07:30.63 | mikebledsoe | And they're probably they're less healthy in no better position to make money. |
| 07:31.45 | Max Shank | Ridiculous. |
| 07:35.16 | Max Shank | Yeah, you sit in a desk for a really long time. You're like looking straight down. It's horrifically bad anyway, all all that. Ah, ah, torture of children aside the reason that people don't remember it is because a it's not in the tool belt because they're not using it. And b they're being coerced into doing it like you must remember this or you will fail and be Bad. It's like okay like I'll do it but I'm not going to not going to do as good a job I'm not going to be as excited and enthusiasm about it and enthusiasm. Comes from ah the root for being possessed by spirit possessed by the Muse. So enthusiasm is really the the energy. That's why you can see people who have very little knowledge actually. Be extremely successful because they're very enthusiastic about the little that they know. |
| 08:34.94 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I've been talking to my girlfriend about that a bit is she? ah. |
| 08:49.37 | mikebledsoe | Ah, Max is red with laughter. Ah now I've been talking about ah but well I noticed that there's a lot of people who make a lot of money in real estate. So we've been talking about getting more aggressive about. |
| 08:52.81 | Max Shank | Ah, ah. |
| 09:06.81 | mikebledsoe | Investing in real estate and I and it's ah it's a new I know a bit she knows a bit we need to get deeper into it if we want to be good at it. But I go I look at it I go I know a lot of people who invest in real estate or and have been very successful and they don't ah. Occur to me to be the most intelligent people on the planet. They're not.. They're not some type of Genius They they're they Found. They are some type of Genius They found a way to do something and they just repeat it and because that's what works in real estate you find. |
| 09:27.28 | Max Shank | And. They are some type of genius. |
| 09:43.37 | mikebledsoe | Find someone who's really successful in real estate and you'll you'll find that they they do 1 or 2 things and they just do it over and over and over and over again. It's it's a bit redundant, but it's also very exciting to watch your your personal wealth climb. |
| 09:58.28 | Max Shank | Yeah, and you can also lose your shirt in real estate. You can get totally burned by buying a property at the wrong time and not really predicting or preparing for an income decrease I'll just. |
| 10:03.73 | mikebledsoe | Here. |
| 10:17.45 | Max Shank | Just remember seeing this house in del mar near where I live and it was ah sold for 18 million a couple years later they put it on the market for 21 million and then I watched them progressively lower the price all the way down to 6 million. |
| 10:36.24 | mikebledsoe | Whoa. |
| 10:37.16 | Max Shank | So the value went from 18 million to 6 million and you know there were like all kinds of crashes and stuff going on but this was like on the bluffs like right by the beach in del mar probably that because there are 3 rules in real estate right? location location location this was a. |
| 10:53.43 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 10:57.13 | Max Shank | Primo like Crown Jewel of real estate. It was massive had tennis court. Its right on the beach was ridiculous but they they got taken to the cleaners because they bought it the wrong time and they couldn't survive through the liquidity crisis. Basically like there's that saying that markets can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent which is kind of a good thing to keep in mind. |
| 11:23.87 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, Well I think ah great. That's a great point is that that's not likely an intelligence issue as much as it is um, ah, people in what I've seen with people who do make mistakes in investing is. They let their emotions take over and they're afraid that they have a fear of loss and then that's why or they're a fear of missing out or a fear of loss and which a fear of missing out is just fear of future loss and or potential loss and and. |
| 11:59.32 | Max Shank | Yeah I think go ahead. |
| 12:03.54 | mikebledsoe | And people they break their own rules like they have this rule around how to invest in real estate or they have a rule that they that's been passed down and if you follow those rules it 99 percent of time you probably can be fine. But then you see a spike in the market or you see a dip in the market and then you you freak out and you react or you you break your own rules or you break the rules of the people who taught you and that because of an emotional experience and that's when people that's what I see when people lose their shirt. |
| 12:35.70 | Max Shank | Well, it's risk reward right? if you concentrate your bet into 1 thing like let's say you put all of your money on Alibaba 15 years ago, you'd be like really really happy and if you put all your money in blockbuster Video. You'd be really really sad and if you diversified you wouldn't have returned as much as if you had concentrated all of your money into 1 big bet. But you're also limiting how much you can lose. So. I think with life and with investing the thing you want to understand is that it's usually pretty ah clear risk reward ratio and you want to try to aim for things that where you have 2 ways to win and no way to lose pretty much and there's another saying I like which is. |
| 13:27.13 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 13:31.91 | Max Shank | Why risk what you need for what you don't need and that's why you know you hear a story about someone you know, buying some unknown cryptocurrency and they like 10 X their money and then you're like feeling greedy yourself, you're feeling that fear of missing out. So you might catch it at the very top and then and then catch the falling knife as it goes down whereas they caught all the upside. So We we try to use the past to predict the future but it doesn't always go that Way. So if you. |
| 13:55.77 | mikebledsoe | Yep. |
| 14:11.80 | Max Shank | Plan for the fact that you will sometimes be wrong it. It works out. Okay. |
| 14:19.70 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that's that's the point of anti- fragile the book by is it Nicholas taleeb nasim he he wrote black swan anti-fragile. There's a new 1 that came out that I want to on a read next. And yeah. |
| 14:22.65 | Max Shank | Um, yeah. |
| 14:37.87 | mikebledsoe | The whole concept. He's ah he's a great investor himself. Ah and his perspective on strategies for investing is pretty much saying you know shit will go wrong. So how are you set up for that whereas most people like. |
| 14:51.59 | Max Shank | Well. |
| 14:56.10 | mikebledsoe | You know they're watching the crypto markets right now and I mean I mean this applies to the learning conversation we get because if. |
| 15:01.23 | Max Shank | Yeah, you don't have to be smart to do well in investing like um isaac Newton famously said something along the lines of he could predict the movement of celestial bodies but not the madness of crowds and he like lost all of his money. Investing in the East india trading company he like got taken to the cleaners lost every I mean obviously a very intelligent fellow. |
| 15:20.51 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah, so. |
| 15:26.90 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well well let's just take bitcoin for instance I've been paying attention to crypto markets since 20138 years which is over half the amount of time they've been in existence. So. |
| 15:34.44 | Max Shank | The. |
| 15:44.18 | mikebledsoe | I've been through some booms and buss already and what I know because I've been in it long enough is I go Yeah, just you buy a bunch and then you hold it and then you watch everything go up and down and watch everyone else freak out and then you just keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you take some off here and there. Um, there is a strategy for for when to take some out and but most people aren't playing that game. Well, that's the thing It is simple. It is very very simple. Ah, but when the people who who suffer and I've got many close friends who. |
| 16:06.70 | Max Shank | Make it sound so simple. You make it sound so simple. |
| 16:23.40 | mikebledsoe | The market starts going up and they start dumping money in or the market starts going down and they start pulling money out and I'm I'm going Whoa Whoa Whoa Just just chill the fuck out just consistently put money in consistently pull money Out. Don't you know. You're not going to.. You're not going to see the wave coming if because if you can see it then everyone else can see it and sometimes that does drive the market up a bit but again long term strategy I've had I've had really big returns from that that simplicity just. |
| 16:55.86 | Max Shank | So what you're saying is you are an investing genius. |
| 17:01.39 | mikebledsoe | Um, well are we gonna be playing comparison here. Ah you know what I'm in the 1 percent I'm in the 1 percent for crypto I'll say this I'm in the 1 percent of crypto trading. Ah when it comes to investing in general. No. |
| 17:11.15 | Max Shank | Um, okay oh that's good. |
| 17:20.10 | mikebledsoe | I'm I'm not I The crypto thing is huh How does what differ I Oh crypto trading versus investing versus. |
| 17:20.98 | Max Shank | How do they differ. How do they differ. Ah well I mean it's they're both and they're they're both investing I think the big mistake people make with investing Probably the biggest mistake is they invest money. That they might need soon. |
| 17:41.00 | mikebledsoe | Well,, there's that 1 and then they invest money in speculation versus Value. So 1 of my rules in investing is what value is being generated in the world by this product or by this service and So. Do I Find what they're creating to be valuable Tesla For instance, do I do I think that those cars hold out. Absolutely they're creating something valuable some of these cryptocurrencies that are you know a 2 page white paper and you know they just. |
| 18:02.43 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 18:18.76 | mikebledsoe | Fleece everybody and they don't have any specific when I when I read about what the purpose of that cryptocurrency is and it doesn't make sense to me and it doesn't seem valuable to me I don't touch it. So. |
| 18:30.82 | Max Shank | Maybe that's lesson 2 of investing is invest in things that you understand. |
| 18:35.35 | mikebledsoe | Invest in things you understand, but ah I think invest in things you find valuable and Beyond beyond the dollar. |
| 18:40.48 | Max Shank | Well, that's not necessarily. Yeah I mean that's not I disagree because if you invest in something that's valuable at a price that is unreasonable then you still lose money on your investment. |
| 18:56.13 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it's got to be worth the value that it's demanding. |
| 18:59.64 | Max Shank | And that's really hard to determine. You know you have price-to earnarings ratios you have identifying trends and there are all these ways that we try to get clear on what something will be worth later. Will it be worth more later and there are all kinds of things like. |
| 19:13.19 | mikebledsoe | You know. |
| 19:17.89 | Max Shank | There was a 20 year period where coca -cola returned a zero percent return to its investors and you'd think like man coca -cola is valuable. Their brand is worth billions by itself. But it it all depends on what you pay for and that's the same thing with real estate. Um, unless you are holding real estate for 50 years the profit is in the buying. Yeah. |
| 19:40.61 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the deals made and or the the value is in. It's in the buying it's when you make the purchase. Um that that's for sure and that's ah, that's a big reason why and I haven't tried to touch anything in the last year is everything's so hot it is cooling off a bit. The markets are cooling off a bit but it's been so hot that and people are like you could better get in I'm going get into what I'm gonna get in at the peak. So I can come crash with the rest of you now. |
| 20:07.53 | Max Shank | The the Fomo the Fomo hard to know if it's the peak. That's the tricky thing about investing I mean there are a lot of ah big institutions buying lots of real estate right now and it's um. |
| 20:17.98 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 20:26.21 | Max Shank | Apparently this is now an investing podcast. So if you're tuning in this is investing tips with max and Mike ah. |
| 20:33.71 | mikebledsoe | I Always try to stay away from investing tips too because. |
| 20:36.89 | Max Shank | Yeah, it's the worst like this is not a recommendation I think everyone listening should just go by tulip bulbs as many tulip bulbs as possible fill your garage with Tulip bulbs. That's the tricky thing about times like ah. Like what we're seeing right now is some things just go absolutely meteoric they go insanely high so fast and if you are investing in something more steady. Let's say like real estate perhaps usually more steady. Ah, you're getting blown out of the water by some kid who bought dog coins so in the short term. You're just getting absolutely murdered if you're really looking at value which is. |
| 21:17.17 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 21:27.27 | Max Shank | About Theio ah about the Price-to-arings ratio like what's the prospect. But also what's the priceturnings ratio Anyway, the whole point is if you are not going to take a lot of time to make investing your career. You probably are better off just buying the market overall and minimizing. |
| 21:47.14 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, which did really well this last year but I mean if we adjust for inflation and a few other things probably just did okay. |
| 21:47.20 | Max Shank | The risk like just by the S and P five hundred. Yeah, yeah. |
| 22:04.50 | Max Shank | It's a tricky thing because it all comes back to opportunity cost and I use these analogies for exercise quite a lot.. It's like our you know our heavy squats. Good. It's like well maybe. A for who and B can I do something better with that Energy. You know what? I'm saying so the same thing is true with investing. It's not is this good. It's is this better than the other stuff I could own and that's that's why it's so tricky because. You know you look. There are a lot of good companies that you can own that create value that are profitable. There are a lot of companies that you can own that are not profitable and so it's purely based on a prediction that they will create more and more value in the future. |
| 22:46.33 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, um. |
| 22:55.54 | Max Shank | Above and Beyond what is already priced. It's very tricky stuff. Anyway, if you you're not going to make it tool belt knowledge. You shouldn't ah fuck around with that. |
| 22:57.25 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 23:04.38 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. Back to learning. |
| 23:14.59 | Max Shank | You'll learn your lesson really fast if you invest money that you shouldn't a fool and his money are soon parted. |
| 23:20.46 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well the 1 thing I notice I'll say one last thing on investing. Ah when you're you're talking about opportunity costs I I watch people try to invest money when they're in credit card debt. So they. |
| 23:35.82 | Max Shank | Don't do that paid pay down the debt that's stupid. You get the interest tax free. They don't understand money. Yeah, exactly. |
| 23:39.50 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the the amount of people that tell that tells me that someone doesn't understand how the numbers work. Yeah, you just don't understand money because your best investment is to not have credit card debt if you have credit card debt. Nothing nothing's going to be that 10 to twenty percent interest you're paying on that. |
| 23:55.15 | Max Shank | Crazy. Yeah, that's ridiculous I would say pay down the credit card debt and then after that invest in your income you know invest in building a customer list building a product setting up your service-based business more effectively because you can get. |
| 24:03.69 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 24:14.74 | Max Shank | Hundred percent 2 hundred percent thousand percent returns by investing in yourself. But if you get a fifteen percent return year over year in the market. You'd be like Yay. So. |
| 24:23.32 | mikebledsoe | Well, there's something about money going in your bank account that you didn't have to do shit for I get I got some cheap thrills out of that. |
| 24:28.99 | Max Shank | Totally yeah, but if you set up ah an online library of products that'll that'll bring in money without any extra effort to plus you plus you own your customer list. |
| 24:44.34 | mikebledsoe | That's true. That's true. |
| 24:48.74 | Max Shank | And that's huge I mean you see right now. Some people are are losing their instagrams and facebooks and Youtube accounts for saying things that they I I suppose shouldn't have said because Papa Papa Youtube Said. Ah. Wasn't okay to say those things and you know if you are dependent on another entity entity to store all of your customers for you. They can go away so you got to have your own you got to own your customer list. |
| 25:23.60 | mikebledsoe | Just made a post about that the other day email is not dead so many who are focused on social media when ah, that's right again if you're looking investing that's ah. |
| 25:24.97 | Max Shank | That's so important you got to own that customer list. No it works it works until it doesn't. |
| 25:42.30 | mikebledsoe | That's 1 that's got a ah a black swan event. Ah as a possibility and and that is black swans occur when you're least expecting them and the event that does occur that brings a downturn is not something you ever imagined would happen. |
| 25:44.53 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 26:00.42 | Max Shank | And. |
| 26:01.83 | mikebledsoe | Just 1 day you wake up and shit hit the fan and so that can happen if Facebook youtube instagram decides or google decides to to stop featuring your stuff you know shadow banning is 1 1 way where it's not. Overt you didn't see you get blocked but all of a sudden your traffic goes to nil and and I've got several friends that's happened to not just in the last couple years but over the last 3 4 years there's ah there's a very clear. |
| 26:20.82 | Max Shank | Um, wild. |
| 26:38.69 | mikebledsoe | Ah I Guess attack I don't know I hate using the word attack in this sense. But there's a clear diversion of attention away from things and people that are actually helpful towards big corporate desires and. And wanting people to adopt more main you know Mainstream corporate services and products. |
| 26:59.75 | Max Shank | Well. Um, hey man ah censorship is an admission of guilt if you ask me? Yeah, yeah, So as long as we're on the learning subject. |
| 27:09.46 | mikebledsoe | I like that I like that censorship is an admission of guilt. |
| 27:23.97 | Max Shank | We can we we um problem maybe ah what is rewarded is repeated. That's ah, that's a big thing about learning. So there's. |
| 27:25.75 | mikebledsoe | I think we've talked about learning for 5 out of twenty five minutes so far. |
| 27:40.30 | Max Shank | Conscious learning where you're like oh I'm going to learn to play the piano or I'm going to learn how to speak german and then there's unconscious learning it could be conscious also but where you adapt to certain patterns. You know your phone. May notice that you prefer watching animal videos at night. But you prefer watching news videos in the morning I know that was that was what I noticed interestingly enough when I was just still logging in. To youtube instead of using a separate browser and not being logged in and just searching for what I want and it would give me like you know would give me like John stossel and all these different guys who I actually trust and then at night it would show me more like. Animal videos like learn about the peacock spider and things like that so you will um basically be guided throughout your day by algorithms that are digital or otherwise. And you develop these patterns that are repeated over and over again. So it's very difficult to get out of those patterns once you're in and that's why having a pattern break is so valuable. |
| 29:02.35 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well, it's Interesting. You come out the unconscious learning and I read this book called Spiritual enlightenment. The damnedest thing by Jed Mckenna have you read that 1 okay. I Think you really enjoy it total. Yeah yeah. |
| 29:20.99 | Max Shank | I've only read like 4 or 5 books in my life total. Yeah, that includes Dr. seuss books. The loax was good. |
| 29:31.70 | mikebledsoe | Ah, so in that book he talks about how the mind is built and he says that people like to visualize the mind like it's this beautiful web and I've got this thought over here this belief or this idea and it's over here and then ah and. String goes across and it connects over here and this is beautiful intricate web that just it's infinite in Nature. That's how I used to think about the mind and the fact that he outlines that in the book tells me that other people think about the mind similarly and. He talks about how how ah language is laid out when as we as we get older and the order in which we learn words impacts how our mind works and what those words mean to us at that age and how that impacts the mind and. But he what he finally gets to in this explanation is that people think that mine is this beautiful integrated web and it's really just a rat's nest. It's just all jumbled up you and I could be born at the same time same place same parents in our interpretation of. The world is gonna be different and and you only need 1 interpretation early on kind of like the butterfly effect right? He's like you've got this butterfly over here that causes a hurricane on the other side of the world. Ah, there's 1 1 instance where you interpret something your mom or dad did at the age of 2 that shape your personality in a way that the impact the lens that you look through for the rest of your life and so you completely neglect certain pieces of information and you collect the evidence to support your your lens. |
| 31:25.90 | Max Shank | Is confirmation Bias right. |
| 31:25.63 | mikebledsoe | Over here, right? and nobody is nobody is safe from that confirmation Bias we we all do it and so that's 1 thing that when we if we're talking about learning needs to be acknowledged is that. Much of what we we believe to be true just is not true and it's good to question those be able to question those thoughts and and do some unlearning because learning something new I I found to be a lot easier to learn new things. When I look at what must be unlearned and that's not necessarily an easy task. So the way I look at it is ah it's easier to to write on a if we're thinking about a. Ah, a hard drive I want an empty hard drive and I want to be able just put things on top of that or what may be better is up. Yeah, or or you got a page you're you're writing you're writing your thoughts on a page with a pencil and. |
| 32:30.10 | Max Shank | Empty your cup like that ah martial arts example. |
| 32:42.41 | mikebledsoe | Ah, you're just having to rewrite So you've got these thoughts that you believe to be true and you're trying to overwrite them So you're just trying to make the words on top of those other words darker and thinking that you're going to be able to change those thoughts and at some point those darker words may overshadow. |
| 32:51.17 | Max Shank | The. |
| 33:01.11 | mikebledsoe | Words that were previously on the page. But why don't you just use an eraser first using erase or era words then write. It'll be much more clear it. So it it may take a little more effort in the beginning but long run it's way easier or if you start with a blank page instead of a. |
| 33:06.78 | Max Shank | A. |
| 33:19.59 | mikebledsoe | Page that already has writing on it. These are the things that this is how I think about the mind and when I'm learning something new I ask myself? what do I need to unlearn before I learn this. |
| 33:31.89 | Max Shank | I think part of the reason it's hard for people to let go or erase or burn ego death is because they identify so much with it whether it's ah good or bad or neutral. It's familiar and we gain a lot of our sense of stability through our self-im image and so if you have a self image that is maybe harmful to you. You know some people are ah shoot all kinds of things anorexic. Self-loathing whatever there are all these manifest obese. Um, you know to protect yourself. So for example, a lot of people are really overweight just because they never want to have a chance to be rejected in the first place but if so if they're just this big fat person. No 1 that'll never even happen. So you get so identified with this identity that it blocks out any potential for change and that's why any kind of change requires some sort of removal of material like you have to chip away. At the ego in order to make room for something new and different. |
| 34:51.53 | mikebledsoe | You know. |
| 34:57.42 | mikebledsoe | So aside from chipping away the ego and unlearning First what are some? What are some things that you put into a place I'm a big fan of your your five minute strategy. |
| 34:57.74 | Max Shank | The. |
| 35:11.97 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, yeah, there's sort of a quantum effect of 5 minute blocks because it feels easier to start psychologically and it's it's so easy for me to. |
| 35:13.44 | mikebledsoe | For learning new things. Can you explain that 1 |
| 35:31.81 | Max Shank | Just jump around from thing to thing and put stuff off. So if you do like usually five minutes the word just comes right before it. Oh it's just five minutes but ten minutes feels too long and with my mobility program I did five minute flow I get. So many versions of the same message which is hilarious which is you know I started doing five minute flows. But now I can't keep them under ten minutes I can't keep them under fifteen minutes and yeah |
| 36:05.94 | mikebledsoe | I've got a problem. How do we fix this? ah. |
| 36:08.90 | Max Shank | Right? Exactly? No, That's that's exactly the thing. It's a scam and I tricked. You guys. So haha I tricked you into getting started which is where the inertia is and once you start moving then it's really easy to keep going with regard to learning you don't. Want to practice a skill poorly. You're better off to take a break and come back and do it Again. Probably the biggest fallacy with this is within like the fitness thing. It's like you're pushing through. The the pain or pushing through the struggle or like you know, but you wouldn't do that if you were practicing shooting baskets or hitting golf balls. You would try to stay as fresh as possible and that's really 1 of the key elements for optimal learning. Is you. |
| 37:03.39 | mikebledsoe | I think. |
| 37:06.39 | Max Shank | Go in you do the thing total focus and then you pull away from it and then you go back in total focus and then you pull away from it and if you've ever done something where it requires total focus like tennis or fencing or fighting. Um, or even like ah a video game where you have to constantly either like move left or right let's say to avoid obstacles the ability to focus and not break that focus for a long period of time is something that you can practice as well. But you will. Improve that ability better if you take some small breaks. |
| 37:48.26 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the the increasing the capacity for focus the way that I like to approach that is I can tell when I'm losing focus. So. Um, working on I like to work on 1 task at a time I think that's important if people are trying to multitask they're they're so unfocused the whole time. They don't even realize when their their capacity for focus is going down because they just are starting so low already and what I like to do is set up a timer. And so I know that I can work if it's before noon I can do a ninety minute work session completely focused I use brain fm I use a bi neural beats type of thing to help me focus and my phone's on a timer. So the music will stop. When I'm supposed to stop my work and so most the time if it's before noon and I can work in ninety minute sprint I don't move out of my seat I'm in front of my computer and I am I am knocking out whatever needs to get knocked out and then the afternoons I noticed that. I don't have the same amount of juice might be seventy five minutes as the day goes on my my amount my periods of time of work separated by a break becomes shorter now. |
| 39:12.53 | Max Shank | So that's wisdom is knowing yourself and acting accordingly. |
| 39:16.92 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and what what got me there was I got into ah started getting into deep work zones which can take twenty thirty minutes to get into the the space of deep work the the amount of. Focus that you have is basically what I'm describing and that that level of focus can be achieved a lot sooner I can achieve that focus a lot sooner now because I've done it so many times I've gotten into that really deep work zones. So frequently that my my brain knows how it goes it says oh this is what we're doing now shut everything else out focus on this 1 thing and so when you get into this deep work zone enough. You can tell when your mind is starting to leave it. So. |
| 40:08.77 | Max Shank | Free. |
| 40:10.99 | mikebledsoe | when I when I'm reading something and I read the same paragraph 3 times you know I have to reread the email that I am going through or I you know I basically just start making mistakes mistakes or needing to repeat things to try to remember or whatever it is. Ah. I can so I'm watching my mind begin to drift and so what I've done is is instead of working through that empowering through that. What I've done is I go oh I gotta take a break I go for a walk I go check my mail which is you know quarter mile away I go. Take a nap I ah you know, go play with someone's dog. Whatever so. Ah, match gave me a good look. Ah so I I know when to take a break because the mind works very much so like muscles in the body and and you know in the fitness industry. It is very interesting that people have this tendency to. Push through the pain and basically practice shitty movement they practice moving poorly and they practice getting injured is what they're doing and so ah I think ah I think a large part of. That reason is because there are certain benefits to pushing to that point of failure but they are overemphasized in the fitness industry and then in addition to that people people just don't understand. What poor movement is and what good movement is and they don't understand they're they're practicing to get injured and then of course if you throw in something like Crossfit now you have this competitive competition component that is going to drive people to do things that they don't really they don't really have the capacity |
| 42:07.66 | Max Shank | Well, we've we've learned a false image of fitness I think so that's something really interesting about the things that you learn is you may very well have learned a false premise. So even if you do everything. |
| 42:08.40 | mikebledsoe | To do so. |
| 42:15.37 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 42:27.29 | Max Shank | Allegedly, correct if the entire if it's built on a false Premise. You're totally Screwed. You have like no chance of optimizing the amount of effort that you put in so with fitness For example. If Your athletic capacity is not increasing from your health and fitness practice or your movement practice. Whatever you're probably wasting your time I mean a lot of people use fitness as a way to burn Energy. With no rhyme or reason it's like putting too much gasoline on your in your car like overeating and then putting your car up on blocks and just running the engine. So It doesn't overflow. That's like 1 of the worst things you can do um because just like with investing. What you're sacrificing for doing that Bs is the chance to do something that could improve your overall capacity your ability to fight your ability to run your ability to play I mean Ah, that's the tricky thing about opportunity cost is you're sacrificing. Everything else you could be doing to do this. So If you're not enthusiastic about it. It's like dude, why? why bother there are plenty of good options and you know getting stuck into the whole thing about aesthetics is ah is another tricky thing. That's just based on. |
| 43:49.84 | mikebledsoe | Go. |
| 44:02.99 | Max Shank | What we've learned you know like I always joke about the aztec aesthetic which is like a big fat guy at the top of a temple watching the heads roll down like he was the best thing you could be a big fat guy and then you know over time sexy lady. Has changed from fat lady to thin victorian era plump and then we went through like the Ninety s or something where the supermodels weighed like 85 pounds and now we're kind of coming round to like thick is good again. So it's all. |
| 44:39.33 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 44:42.50 | Max Shank | It's all a matter of that individual perspective and that's why you can think of your focus like a lantern or a laser.. That's what I usually tell people is you can soften it like a lantern and that's for a martial artist may have heard the term soft eyes before. Like sometimes I'll practice while I'm juggling and I won't look at the balls I'll juggle but I'll be trying to take in as much other stuff as Possible. So I can focus right in your eyes right now or I can step back and I can be as aware as possible of everything else in the room. |
| 45:09.17 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 45:20.51 | Max Shank | And it's a really big difference in terms of how you focus so being able to cycle between those is extremely valuable because you don't want to always be laserfocused sometimes you want to have that wider perspective. Of what's going on and that's usually where joy and gratitude can come from is when you see the big picture rather than like oh my god my my life sucks compared to that guy over there and I hate that guy. He's got a nice, whatever and you know you get stuck. |
| 45:59.36 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 45:59.65 | Max Shank | Ah, tunnel vision right? So being able to zoom in and zoom out and realizing that your concepts of good and bad good and evil are are learned. You know, ah lions don't worry about that. Lions don't have a concept of good and evil they have a concept of danger from like other lions and they have a concept of hunger and that's it they don't have a concept of good and evil it's ridiculous. It's like totally a human invention I mean there are a lot of. Old stories that talk about that. What's that the wasn't that where eve ate the Apple wasn't it. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil so that the whole thing is just having this awakening that's crazy uncomfortable that. |
| 46:41.45 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 46:53.50 | Max Shank | Your whole idea of this is good and this is bad is just implanted from from the last guy |
| 46:59.48 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, are yeah I mean anything that's conceptual in nature that is that that we can't point at physically is usually passed down from from somebody else and. |
| 47:14.59 | Max Shank | Yeah, so if you focus on things that are intrinsically enjoyable then you will find the things that will make you the most enthusiastic you will naturally put more time into learning you'll. |
| 47:17.61 | mikebledsoe | Very interesting. |
| 47:33.24 | Max Shank | Be interested in learning the finer details. You know I sometimes I say it's not exactly true. But I think the sentiment is right? The only difficult thing is something you don't want to do if you want to do it then it doesn't matter. |
| 47:47.39 | mikebledsoe | E. |
| 47:52.80 | Max Shank | Like you you would just want to do it and if you don't want to do it then it's probably going to be more difficult. So. |
| 47:53.43 | mikebledsoe | Right. |
| 47:59.67 | mikebledsoe | It's why people look at people doing a crossfi workout and go I can't I don't know understand how you do it? How do you push through whatever not realizing that that person is doing that workout loves doing that workout for whatever reason or they've at least learned to love the workout. |
| 48:11.80 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, um, well and sometimes you can sacrifice the temporary feeling for a bigger picture win like I actually never um, enjoyed lifting weights that much as weird as that might sound. Just did it because I wanted to be the most Alpha guy Possible. So now that I'm in a place where I'm a lot more honest with myself about what I'm doing just to get a result or what I'm enjoying I do a lot of weird stuff at the like I enjoy like explosive things like heavy lifting is like okay. Do some but I can play tennis for like 2 hours and I'm dying to play more tennis because it's so Fun. It's so engaging I'm using all these different skills. So That's intrinsically enjoyable to me but you know the idea of doing like a Crossfit workout. |
| 48:56.40 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 49:09.73 | Max Shank | I Don't even see the point of it for example so you change over time. |
| 49:11.51 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I Want to go 1 thing I Want to ah point out I mean you said a lot of really good stuff. There 1 is how you how you use your focus and how you can go from laser focus to that soft focus and I think about that as contraction and expansion. And if you spend too much time in contraction then you won't be able to expand very much if you if you spend too much time in that expansion. It's gonna be difficult to to concentrate that that attention. But um, being able to cycle between the 2 is gonna give you more capacity for each. So. The same way then analogy with um, you know somebody who's really athletic their muscle needs to be able to contract incredibly fast but also be able to relax incredibly fast so you got to be able to snap that muscle and it's got to be able to snap back into. |
| 50:01.41 | Max Shank | Her. |
| 50:08.33 | mikebledsoe | And to just relaxation and those are the people who are the most athletic have the most endurance all these things um and the same thing with with attention. Can you play? Can you go that soft focus. Can you go that that laser focus and I think about it just like breathing. You got an inhale and you've got an exhale. Got to spend time in either. So I do want to hit that and then the other thing you talked about is the false premise and it's very interesting because that's 1 of the things that I I see creates a lot of disagreement in the world is well 1 is. Which we talk about regularly which is semantics people just are they don't even realize that they're in disagreement about the meaning of words and so they think the word that someone else is using means something than what they intended it to be so um, it's that that's number 1 I think number 2 is and what we've witnessed over the last couple years is the premise in which people are coming from are different and they're arguing about stuff that's at the surface or they're focused on what's on the surface and not looking at the premise in which everything else is based. So. Ah, it's what's that's a term in Mathematics. Ah for for assumptions I forget what it is maybe it'll come to me but basically it's it's ah the premise that you know 2 plus because 2 plus 2 equals four then. All this other things and mathematics must be true because 1 plus 1 equals 2 that then means and so what I've what I've witnessed especially in like say so the scientific world and is ah. |
| 51:45.39 | Max Shank | Um, right? or. |
| 52:00.53 | mikebledsoe | We see these big shifts in how science is viewed when someone comes out and questions the validity of the premise in which we've been operating from and so ah, there's. |
| 52:14.57 | Max Shank | Often Those guys get burned at the stake historically speaking. |
| 52:18.95 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, they get historically speaking it. You do not be want to be the 1 that that ah challenges consensus. Yeah yeah, well, ah well that that's the other thing too is be be aware of of ah. |
| 52:25.51 | Max Shank | Um, don't kill the messenger I think we've heard before. |
| 52:38.25 | mikebledsoe | Consensus group think and anytime anyone uses the word is it Ah, who was it. Ah, the guy who wrote Jurassic Part Michael Crichton I you. |
| 52:46.69 | Max Shank | That guy is an animal I recommend anybody go listen to some of his talks Michael criton is a fucking animal. That's a genius. |
| 52:55.65 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, he you you sent me a video of his and I is an hour long talk and I ate it up. It was so good but he talks about how Consensus science is not science. It's. |
| 53:05.67 | Max Shank | Yo, ah. |
| 53:12.84 | mikebledsoe | Anyone who starts using the word Consensus science is actually anti. It's an anti-science concept. You can't state of fear is talk. Yeah, so you know just throwing that out. There is a warning anytime anyone starts using consensus science. Ah. |
| 53:17.75 | Max Shank | Um, it's called State of fear. That's the name of the talk I think I think so yeah. |
| 53:32.56 | mikebledsoe | That's that's when you know you should turn around and run. |
| 53:33.61 | Max Shank | Well, you got to consider the source. He also introduced me to a concept called gelmon amnesia which is where like you're an expert in fitness so you open up the paper and you read a fitness article and you're like this is totally false. This is ridiculous. But then. You forget that that was totally false so you read the rest of the paper as if it's true. It's like wait a second like fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. |
| 53:56.45 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 54:02.42 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, but we have we have a whole world of people running around with false premise theyre running around with um that this is I'm not going to say that I know how all this works but there's 1 thing that I've noticed. |
| 54:09.61 | Max Shank | Right. |
| 54:21.90 | mikebledsoe | But you know I listen to people who are healthy so people who are healthy and have spent a lot of time thinking about these things long before the pandemic those are the people who I like to talk to and think about what they say but 1 1 premise would be germ theory versus Terrain Theory. And ah germ theory is a false premise because it's not even being considered a it's considered to be a fact versus the way it's being treated is it's not being treated as a theory. Ah, and that's 1 thing I'm noticing in society as a whole is that people are treating theories as if they're facts I was just I was just ah and this is how far I'll take it is I was watching a ah. My girlfriend was watching like an animals show is basically like Discovery Channel you know, looking at these cats and it starts off with eleven million years ago this predator descended into this region of the world and I go. Are they fucking serious. They just state that that like it was a fact I'm going I'm going No fucking wonder adults are running around the world acting like things are facts that are theories or that are just ideas presented by other people. Yeah, you may have a lot of evidence to suggest that but it's still a theory and so what we're experiencing right now is we have this mass adoption because because traditional or I'll say conventional medicine in the United States is based on germ theory When. Ah, the when if you were to just look through this pandemic through the lens of of terrain theory Everything that's being advised for people to do sounds insane. But. |
| 56:26.81 | Max Shank | Yeah, of course you got to be careful who your mentors are like with kind of bringing it back to learning like who do you trust? what's hilarious is that so many more people trust Joe Rogan than they trust any of the other people allegedly reporting on what's going on. |
| 56:29.76 | mikebledsoe | But if you. |
| 56:43.89 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 56:46.27 | Max Shank | And there are so many premises that we've been talking about here's ah okay, like obesity for example, obesity rates are like through the roof so you could argue that most people kill themselves because obesity is like the easiest way to die quicker. From all causes whether it's diabetes, Heart disease etc like all that stuff. Um, if you're weak and fat. You die Faster. There's no question about that. But I think the biggest false premise is that we should run people through the same filter. That's exactly 1 of the reasons why school is so catastrophically bad like I don't think ah ah like about some things I'm like really dumb but about ah like I almost got held back in school like that's crazy when you think about it like I'm not like too dumb you know what? I'm saying. |
| 57:34.22 | mikebledsoe | M. |
| 57:41.46 | mikebledsoe | You're 1 of the smartest people I know so that. |
| 57:41.77 | Max Shank | So the whole nah I mean but I've only like read a few books isn't that all that matters. No I think smart is about how efficiently you can live the way you want to live like if you're living the way you want without expending a lot of energy then you're smart. Most people just want to. Ah, peer Smart I don't frankly give a flying fuck how I appear to people as long as I can live in an efficient and effortless way as long as I can move in efficient and effortless way and I think that's why people like fighting that's why I like it because it's very honest, you got a winner and you got a loser. You know I like playing tennis because it's honest I can't be like ah that ball was in no it was fucking out you missed bitch like try again. Ah so the the whole the whole premise that we should be run through the same filter is ridiculous. The whole premise of health is ridiculous. The whole idea that we should just blindly follow what a few people say we should is ridiculous like there's like a list that goes on and on I don't have it right in front of me but I wrote a bunch of the stuff that I thought was wrong about it down. But. I mean it's it's the same um as anything else. There are so many false premises out there that will lead you down a path because you can have a valid thought process and those are the 2 pillars of truth right? You have a true premise or false premise and you have a valid thought process. Or an invalid thought process. So a lot of the time you have a false premise with a valid thought process so it looks good. You're like yeah that that does like make like the logic make sense but because the premise is false everything else just goes completely out the window and that's. Kind of where I tie it back into where you put your faith or where you put authority into because when it comes to learning 1 of the quickest ways 1 of the best ways to learn is through a good teacher. But if you choose the wrong teacher. That is also a sure-fire way to fuck you up, you are going to inherit all of his ego bullshit I mean look have you ever seen youth sports probably like the parents and the coaches. |
| 59:54.20 | mikebledsoe | Here. |
| 01:00:03.44 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah. |
| 01:00:10.84 | Max Shank | Are doing a lot of harm to those little fuckers especially if they're trying to live out their dreams or like how about how about like a beauty Pageant Mom I mean when it comes to learning you got to really consider who you try to emulate like there are people out there who seem very healthy, Very joyful. |
| 01:00:11.35 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah. |
| 01:00:30.39 | Max Shank | And loving relationships and maybe they're not behind the facade so you got to you got to do some digging to really see like do I want to try to emulate. Do I want a monkey see Monkey do that person's life. It's a big deal. |
| 01:00:44.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that is a big deal. Ah so I I sat down on an airplane on Saturday and this really old indian guy that's down next to me. |
| 01:01:01.65 | Max Shank | Dot or feather. |
| 01:01:03.48 | mikebledsoe | And dot and ah he sits a real indian he sits down next to me like from India ah, he had the accent and everything you know he he spent some time India and pakistan and. |
| 01:01:11.84 | Max Shank | Yeah I get it. No, you're right. |
| 01:01:20.77 | mikebledsoe | Sits down he starts talking I mean he was referencing something things that were happening in the sixty s so this is how old this guy is and do you have to go? Oh maybe it was on my hand. Ah I think late. Anyways. |
| 01:01:28.30 | Max Shank | That wasn't on my end. |
| 01:01:40.32 | mikebledsoe | Um, I sit down. We start talking and I come to find out. He's a ah substitute teacher and in Florida and I was asking him all these questions about does he enjoy it. So um, by the way this guy had a stroke the month before so he was he was being a He was a little slow so I actually spent the flight helping him do things like open up his his chips and getting him to the bathroom and all these things but he sat there and just taught me shit the whole time. So. Ah, my girlfriend was blown away. She's like why did you like that guy I was like he was teaching me the whole time. Ah so 1 of the things he says is he goes you know what the problem with kids these days is I say don't know how to think they only know what they know and he says ah that. They believe that 2 plus 2 equals four which is true but they think that that's the only thing that equals four they don't realize that 3 plus 1 equal 4 this is the analogy he was using. You know they don't realize that 4 times 1 equals four. They only know that 2 plus 2 equals four. He says. |
| 01:02:50.40 | Max Shank | It's kind of. |
| 01:02:52.63 | mikebledsoe | They only know what they know they don't know how they got there and and and. |
| 01:02:56.58 | Max Shank | I Know exactly what you're talking about.. It's like a reflexive fear-based reaction to like hey don't worry I know don't worry I know they're like regurgitating stuff that they learned but they don't have like any kind of logical. Thought process that can help them discover something different or New. They don't have a set of tactics that can help them learn something better. |
| 01:03:23.95 | mikebledsoe | Right? So he said that and I go Wow. That's such a really simple way of explaining critical thinking versus whatever, whatever, not critical thinking would be but being a dumbass. Ah, is and so ah, yeah, if anyone been. |
| 01:03:47.61 | Max Shank | What's more important. What's more important you own a business I own a business. What's more important if you're going to hire somebody that they already know a bunch of things or that they have the ability to learn new things. |
| 01:03:54.80 | mikebledsoe | What. |
| 01:04:01.22 | mikebledsoe | Oh definitely the ability to learn new things. Um, well, there's there's 2 different types of employees. You got the people that that Mcdonald's is shopping for which is we just want people to be able to follow the steps. Yeah, we want robots. |
| 01:04:10.45 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 01:04:17.62 | Max Shank | Automatons. Yeah. |
| 01:04:20.35 | mikebledsoe | Um, and then you have you know Google executives Those people are hired because they're not going to. You know they're going to create the rules they're going to think of new things right. |
| 01:04:27.94 | Max Shank | They can see the big picture they can. They can think of what to do. It's like the difference between being a ah Master chef and a soou chef where you're just preparing the diced vegetables. |
| 01:04:40.20 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and the the problem is is we're we're closing out 2021 here in the next couple months and ah, all those jobs can be that don't require creativity are going away. They're being replaced by robots. Ah, those amazon jobs won't be around much longer truck truckers won't be around in 1015 years that won't be a thing and that makes a but lot of people that's a lot of employment so you know that we're 60000. |
| 01:05:16.63 | Max Shank | We'll probably go to more service business. |
| 01:05:18.99 | mikebledsoe | You know we're now 60000 ah truck drivers short in the United states as part of the you know? yeah I read. |
| 01:05:23.57 | Max Shank | I I didn't know that I met a guy who I thought was really dumb but he was actually really smart because he was like a pretty young kid when I was doing Moyai and he owned like 5 semi trucks by the time he was twenty 2 Did n't graduate high school and he started driving a truck and then he bought another truck and then he bought another truck and he just he was like retired he was like 25 years old is like it was great but he sounded dumb and about a lot of no, he really did. |
| 01:05:51.19 | mikebledsoe | Wow brilliant. |
| 01:06:00.36 | mikebledsoe | Well, he found his strategy. |
| 01:06:02.16 | Max Shank | Ah, nice guy exactly That's what I mean like you you don't want to compare everybody with the same measuring stick because however you measure yourself That's also going to be the same stick that you beat yourself with basically well which if you're into that I mean that's fine. But. |
| 01:06:08.13 | mikebledsoe | Right. |
| 01:06:19.37 | mikebledsoe | I've always thought of myself as quite the masochist so works out. |
| 01:06:25.54 | Max Shank | That's why we get along so well I'm a little more sadistic and you're a little more masochistic. |
| 01:06:27.42 | mikebledsoe | Am Yeah, you're the dom fits. |
| 01:06:31.64 | Max Shank | I Think everybody knew that already. |
| 01:06:38.24 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 01:06:38.28 | mikebledsoe | Ah, alright, let's wrap this bad boy up any any closing thoughts. Yeah. |
| 01:06:43.66 | Max Shank | On learning. Ah when it comes to learning the most important thing is that it's important to you that you use it and that you continue to use it and. When it comes to learning movement. Probably the thing that people miss the most is going super slow like even a super slow walk across the room. Super slow walk across the room with your eyes closed take the normal movements you do close your eyes try to do it as slow as possible. Try to do it as fast as possible. Try to change the angle a little bit and deliberately go outside of that normal range and there are a lot of other ways but I'll just keep it brief I would say maybe changing the speeds is like 1 of the most powerful ways. Especially really slowing down and. Consciously moving through the entire movement and then just be careful who you choose as a mentor for overall learning. |
| 01:07:44.74 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, love it. Yeah, stop listening to our show. Um, now you so. My my final thoughts are what what are your be intentional. So the best way to learn is to be intentional with each moment that goes by and that's something that's practicing itself but ask yourself why you're doing something so as max was talking about. Um, learning a new skill. Why am I why am I squatting today you know am I doing it fast am I doing it slow. Why always be in the why why you're doing something and the more time you spend in the intention and understanding the why. But when you're doing anything. Probably find yourself take more time take more care and the quality of that go up I think that quality is definitely the result of learning so that's all I got Appreciate. Conversation today max where can people find you. |
| 01:08:58.41 | Max Shank | Thank you brother I can be found at Maxshank Dot Com or at macshank everywhere you can Also Google me, there's also there's a ton of stuff out there. |
| 01:09:06.35 | mikebledsoe | Whatever you do don't get google my name. Ah it'll be you get a mixed bag of things you find me find me on Instagram at mike underscore blood. So and. |
| 01:09:15.46 | Max Shank | Don't really. If there was ever way to make people want to Google you that was it. |
| 01:09:25.00 | mikebledsoe | Ah Shh telling him my secret later yall love me max. |
| 01:09:31.43 | Max Shank | Love you buddy. |
| 00:00.00 | Max Shank | Welcome back to the Monday morning podcast with max and mike today we are going to talk about relationships because I don't know mike I've noticed that most people ruin their lives with just 1 or 2 bad relationships or maybe it becomes a pattern but. I think 1 of the biggest traps is to fall into the common way that people relate with each other especially with romantic relationships I'm sure you have some experience and have seen that as well. |
| 00:30.70 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think most people have we go back to their first relationship. They had their first girlfriend or first boyfriend. Whatever it is and probably for most people every person they've dated since that person has just been a new iteration of the same thing. They they'd likely relate to them the same way. They they find a lot of things that are in common in the beginning. It's really easy to overlook the the all the bad things. All the things that that may have gone south in your previous relationship because well you're. |
| 01:02.63 | Max Shank | To name. |
| 01:08.48 | mikebledsoe | You're on drugs when you're in love I'd say the first six months and. |
| 01:10.20 | Max Shank | No doubt so you think the first relationship sets the tone for all the rest of them. |
| 01:15.13 | mikebledsoe | I Think you I think your relationship with your father sets a tone for all your romantic relationships because when you're when you're born. |
| 01:24.32 | Max Shank | That explains why I go for beefy guys with big mustache. I was wondering what that was. |
| 01:32.20 | mikebledsoe | Ah, well this this is the framework I've been operating from over the last few years when when looking at relationships and that is when you're born you are. Ah yeah, it's your first love the so your mother. |
| 01:43.53 | Max Shank | I remember you telling me this you said your father is your first friend first relationship outside yourself. |
| 01:51.85 | mikebledsoe | When you yeah when you're born and you come out of your mother's womb you you were inside of her and then you should at least go to the breast pretty early after after being born and you really associate with your mother. So your mother really. Teaches you how to have a relationship with yourself and then your father is the first person outside of yourself that you have a relationship with so whether you're a man or a woman. He really sets the stage for ah how you relate to people and not necessarily just romantic relationships. Um, and ah I've also heard paul check talk about this which is you're usually ah attracted to a woman who has a similar body type to your mother. So if your mother had big breasts you probably are attracted to big breasts and so on and so forth I don't think that's always true but I imagine it's a fair. Fair assumption. So. |
| 02:48.95 | Max Shank | So so basically what you're saying is that the relationship you have with your dad and the physical appearance of your mom guides a lot of your selections in choosing a mate. |
| 03:04.82 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I would say people yeah people who haven't done a lot of work are more likely to just fall into those patterns. That's so I'm not saying this is an absolute. It's comfortable. It's safe. |
| 03:07.24 | Max Shank | From a very young age. |
| 03:14.00 | Max Shank | It feels comfortable. It probably that that makes sense it would feel what would feel more comfortable than someone who acts like your dad and looks like your mom. But. |
| 03:25.82 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah. Um, yeah, yeah, well well people people hate change right? And so well what they do is your parents really teach you how to relate to other people. They they teach you? How love looks you know people who grew up in a home where the parents are fighting all the time. Maybe there's physical abuse. |
| 03:30.77 | Max Shank | I mean I guess it's familiar of god. |
| 03:50.35 | mikebledsoe | And then they get an abuse of relationships. It's like well they don't They aren't experiencing love unless that experience is happening. Um and what's that. |
| 03:56.73 | Max Shank | I Think that takes us to the next phase really well which is how your parents romantic relationship looks to you because you're going to. You're going to probably copy that to a certain extent or you're at least going to say oh that's normal. |
| 04:08.41 | mikebledsoe | That's true. |
| 04:15.87 | Max Shank | So whether your parents are very cold and standoffish and not very affectionate toward each other or whether you live with a single dad who's just a casanova taking home a different lady every other Night. You're probably going to just mimic. That instinctually I guess or naturally you're going to mimic those behaviors. |
| 04:36.83 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and it's really interesting because a lot of people don't think that they are but they're out they the people on the outside looking in are going. Oh that's totally what you're doing but because it is so normal to people they don't They don't even see it. Ah yeah, it's ah. |
| 04:55.62 | Max Shank | Well you see ah some couples like look almost like carbon copies of each other too. You see a guy in a gal who look almost the same they look like they could be brother and sister. They're not in the cases that I'm talking I mean I know that happens sometimes but. |
| 04:55.64 | mikebledsoe | It's fascinating stuff. |
| 05:03.48 | mikebledsoe | Yet. |
| 05:12.62 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ah, there's a name for that that I've seen a chart somewhere. It says like the different types of coupling that can occur and. |
| 05:14.38 | Max Shank | And the cases I'm talking about they just find someone who looks like them. |
| 05:26.85 | Max Shank | Man. |
| 05:29.39 | mikebledsoe | A lot of times if that type of coupling is occurring then you know there's likely ah a repetition of patterns. There's likely like gonna you're gonna feel really good about the relationship in the beginning but over time you may find dissatisfaction and I say may a lot here because I I don't. |
| 05:42.63 | Max Shank | Anyone. |
| 05:46.87 | mikebledsoe | There's no absolutes with all of this and ah 1 thing I Want to point out too is we're talking about what people learn from their parents which is different than what your parents taught you So what? a teacher intends for you to learn and what you receive it. These are different Things. So I like to keep that clear too because max said you said something that really stands out which is how you perceived your parents' relationship as how you're gonna be behave So as an adult what can happen a lot of times is. We intellectually look at our parents relationship or we look at the past and go oh that was not a big deal or I you know you can reason it away you can create reasons for and against why things were a certain way. But if you dig down deep enough which I've I've done a lot of that type of work where we deep dig. Deep down into what happened emotionally at a young age and people end up what we end up discovering is oh I learned this thing and I as I got older I intellectualized it away but it. But even though I intellectually intellectualized it away. |
| 06:51.96 | Max Shank | And. |
| 06:59.65 | mikebledsoe | It was still a pattern that was dominating my life. So I like to just bring that to people's awareness. Yeah, a lot of subconscious behavior. |
| 07:01.52 | Max Shank | Um, subconsciously subconsciously I think it's really important to distinguish between instinct and intellect. That's 1 of the main things I like to communicate with people is that you have these instincts that have. Basically nothing to do with your Upbringing. You're going to have an instinctual desire If. You're a man toward a female most of the time and so you're going to find a lot of ladies sexually desirable and your intellect is. Able to override your instinct but not all the time right? So you have things that are instinctual. |
| 07:41.73 | mikebledsoe | Well it depends on if you're It's probably how stressed how stressed you are in that moment or how much fear you're experiencing dictates the instinct versus intellect. |
| 07:51.28 | Max Shank | So it's like the pause between Impulse and action I guess because some things are instinctual and then some things are ingrained like I think beating your spouse is not an instinct but I'm I'm guessing. But if you. |
| 07:55.20 | mikebledsoe | Um. |
| 08:03.39 | mikebledsoe | No. |
| 08:09.39 | mikebledsoe | I. |
| 08:09.86 | Max Shank | If you see your if you see your parents beating each other then that's going to be ingrained into you right? So you have the the pure instincts which is sexual attraction and ah probably ah, there's a sense of family there as well. Maybe. |
| 08:16.29 | mikebledsoe | Right? right. |
| 08:26.57 | mikebledsoe | Just me. |
| 08:29.12 | Max Shank | More nurturing on the side of females generally and then you have behaviors and patterns that are ingrained where you have these roles that each participant in a relationship plays and you're going to.. It's like you were saying you know you don't. Necessarily do what your parents tell you you don't do what your teachers tell you you just either copy them or you try to do the opposite mostly right, right? What what you see. |
| 08:53.77 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, it's what you learn from them. Not what they try to teach you? Yeah all right? So we covered super early development in regard to relationships which is a good foundation. |
| 09:05.20 | Max Shank | I Think it's good. We have we have like a right? So then we move on into relationships should we go to relationships because that's probably I think we don't need to go into like. |
| 09:17.88 | mikebledsoe | I want to let everyone know we're we're ten minutes in his show while them know we're gonna talk about how to pick up chicks at some point in this just ah so people keep paying attention. |
| 09:24.91 | Max Shank | Oh yeah, so here's what you do you? Ah you spend like 10 years getting into really good shape and getting really rich and then the rest of it doesn't matter or or another option. |
| 09:39.71 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 09:43.41 | Max Shank | You can just ah, go up and and talk to girls that you're interested in and actually be interested in them. |
| 09:50.20 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, that's the key. Well I think most guys I'm gonna talk about guys because I think we're more of an expert on men than we are women. |
| 09:57.87 | Max Shank | Are we gonna talk about are we gonna talk about the pedestal today. We we we got to talk about the pedestal today I can tell I you and I are on the same like wavelength I've been there I've done it too. |
| 10:02.62 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, we can talk about the pedestal. We got to talk about the pedestal. Actually I what I was about to say kind of leads into that. Yeah. |
| 10:17.84 | Max Shank | I've put ladies up on this high pedestal. Not healthy, not healthy to do that. |
| 10:18.43 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well now I forgot what I was gonna say so yeah, well when we get in our our first relationships ah man women are just so ah I would say a lot of. What got me in my first relationships is me me trying to. |
| 10:38.16 | Max Shank | Like holding the pause button women are so oh God What's even do. |
| 10:47.43 | mikebledsoe | Um, so like when I when I first started why it totally didn't know it at the time but I looked back at my childhood and and the girls and it was it was all about you know. Making myself feel loved like I wanted to feel loved. So I you know would go after I like need to go after the prettiest girl I wanted to go after the same girl that everybody else was going after. Um, there was yeah yeah, then everyone would worship me which is not completely inaccurate. |
| 11:17.60 | Max Shank | Then we would all like you. |
| 11:25.32 | mikebledsoe | I Mean if you date if you're with someone that a lot of people want to be with that does raise your status I've witnessed this I've I've had that experience. |
| 11:30.10 | Max Shank | You get a lot of fifth bumps from strangers. Um, you like my man get look at hit him. |
| 11:39.95 | mikebledsoe | Actually I was like I had that experience forty 8 hours ago or you know 36 hours Saturday night I was out. Yeah, my my girlfriend gets up from the table. He gives me a fist bump like yeah and. |
| 11:49.20 | Max Shank | Right? You automatically get street cred and why is that it's because women are Judgmental. That's I think that's the word you are looking for is women are very Judgmental now before before I'm crucified. Let me qualify that with that's just. |
| 11:59.81 | mikebledsoe | I. |
| 12:08.42 | Max Shank | The way of animals generally Speaking. We do a little dance show you our pretty feathers and we're like hey look at this nest I Made what do you think and you're like they're taking notes like okay, he's got a 8 out of 10 on nest building. Nice flowers. Nice feathers I like your bird song. Okay I'll accept your your dna we can name so that's but that's the same word. That's the same thing but but. |
| 12:31.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it well they have ah they have discernment. For instance, my my girlfriend she is yeah similar I think Judgment judgment carries. Ah to me that if we're getting in the semantics as we do. Ah ah. |
| 12:46.57 | Max Shank | We have to. |
| 12:50.19 | mikebledsoe | Judgment comes with it a making wrong a it. It becomes so um, a moral a moral issue whereas something may not be good enough for this specific thing but it doesn't make you a bad person for instance like I'm not in ah I'm not in ah to blonde women. It's not. |
| 12:53.53 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, pass or Fail. Um. Um, so I feel like yeah. |
| 13:09.86 | mikebledsoe | Because blonde women are are bad. It's just because it's not my I discern against that for what that's a poor example I should probably pick something that's more of like a behavior trait and a look but women are discerning Well I say that I say that because my girlfriend is way more discerning than I am. |
| 13:14.14 | Max Shank | Right? I think I think discern. Yeah I think discernment is a good word. They discriminate. Women are way more discerning than men are generally speaking I don't think that I'm telling any tales out of school with that comment I think most of the things totally but wouldn't you say that most of the crazy things that guys do are. |
| 13:28.50 | mikebledsoe | And social situations. |
| 13:33.17 | mikebledsoe | Well this is this is where being being with a woman and listening to her is a superpower keeps me out of lot of trouble. |
| 13:45.13 | Max Shank | Mostly to attract women I mean nobody yeah no, that's what I'm saying nobody's this is like the core of the thing for all the fell is listening I mean the whole reason. Ah, you try to get 6 pack abs is because you want some lady to go oh look at him I like that whole reason you buy. |
| 13:45.96 | mikebledsoe | Almost everything. |
| 14:04.89 | Max Shank | A crazy fancy car is to you know, convince or Persuade or appear to a potential mate as if you are, you're qualified. You meet the parameters for like yeah I'll get with that guy. Otherwise why would you be getting fist bumps. And it's weird because guys are usually valued on what they can provide and girls are usually valued on what they are. |
| 14:32.52 | mikebledsoe | I like to look at it as men are are valued for ah hold value for success and women hold value for Beauty is is what I've typically noticed which is similar to what you're saying. But. |
| 14:49.44 | Max Shank | Yeah. |
| 14:52.42 | mikebledsoe | But I think those are the primary things that people are like men are judging women on Beauty and that's why you see so many old rich dudes with with young hot girls. It doesn't go the other way around. Yeah yeah, so it's um, you know for young men out there. |
| 14:55.60 | Max Shank | Here. |
| 15:01.81 | Max Shank | It's because it's because wealth compounds and Beauty deteriorates. |
| 15:11.63 | mikebledsoe | It might be a little rough. Um, but I don't think it has to I Just think it it tends to be. |
| 15:13.78 | Max Shank | I I don't think so I think if you have I think it's probably the best time to just be a little bit courageous because I would say that by and large men are becoming very weak very fragile. Emotionally. And if you're just willing to have the courage to ask for what you want and ask ladies out and be that male masculine Archetype it. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel I think. |
| 15:47.54 | mikebledsoe | It it really is when I was living in San diego um I was living in a part of town where it was a very like just had a feminine essence. You actually you live there so you know, um, but I'm taught. Yeah. |
| 16:00.51 | Max Shank | I Do I live in a very feminine place. |
| 16:05.61 | mikebledsoe | It's ah ensonnitos california very feminine. It's very laid back easy going a lot of the men there I think max max and I were probably 2 of the 2 out of maybe five masculine men in the whole town which does which. I wonder how many guys in Nsonitas are listening to this show which does make it feel like shooting fish in a barrel because I know I know for you I I imagine it's fairly easy to find good looking women and I know I definitely had that experience when I lived there. Um, and it was easier there than say awesome texas where there's a lot of there's a lot more bravado here. There's more masculinity here. So if you're going to out masculine another dude like you know you better have 5 million in your bank account in a and a fast car. Yeah. |
| 16:57.78 | Max Shank | Just got back from a bull riding competition. You got a 10 pound belt buckle that sort of thing. |
| 17:03.67 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, you need guns and trucks and land. These are the things and big houses. But ah yeah, it's different. So like if you just have if you just and and embody that masculine energy like you're saying. |
| 17:09.60 | Max Shank | Right? It's totally different thing I think that. |
| 17:21.51 | mikebledsoe | Most of society has gotten soft and so if you're able if you're if you're a stronger not just physically stronger. But you're emotionally strong Mentally, you're developed. You're if you're developed in these ways in a in a masculine way. Yeah, women will come flocking. It'll be hard to keep them away. |
| 17:41.38 | Max Shank | Um, well and I think the the biggest thing in my opinion is ah approaching it from an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset like if you ask a lady out and she says no and you get emotionally crushed to the point that you don't ask any more ladies out. That's not good if you get into any relationship at all just because you're afraid you won't be able to find anyone else who likes you. That's not going to work at all That's going to be a scarcity mindset too and I think the same thing happens with guys. Staying in relationships is because they are living in a scarcity mindset where they're like oh I'll I'll never find anyone else and so you have to become resilient to the word. No. Because it's not just about getting every lady to say Yes, it's about having your request be like a filter so you find someone who resonates with you and I'm talking more about like who you actually want to spend time with than just sex I don't think. I Don't think it's too valuable for for us to just like teach people how to like hook up with random people at the bar I think that's simple and straightforward enough. |
| 19:03.51 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, and with all the apps out there now I think it's pretty easy and if you can write some good copy on your tinder account I think you'll be just fine. Yeah. |
| 19:11.58 | Max Shank | Right? Just buy a puppy and be rich and you're be fine. |
| 19:19.63 | mikebledsoe | Ah, yeah, so being in a satisfying relationship. That's interesting. 1 thing I want to cover that I'd like to address here is ah and if there's any ladies left by this point that this would be. They're gonna love hearing it but the way I the way I look at it is women pretty much. |
| 19:32.87 | Max Shank | They're gone. |
| 19:38.47 | mikebledsoe | Drive We We already said this drive all male behavior like women are in charge when women start complaining that that men are in charge home going. You lost you don't you don't see what's going on here men make money because. Want to attract women all these things but I think it comes From. It's an evolutionary thing where you know it used to be the biggest strongest guy was the 1 who got the woman and it was the you know got to where it they you started being judged on your intellect and I think that. |
| 20:03.98 | Max Shank | Um, a. |
| 20:15.19 | mikebledsoe | That's there's a big argument for that's what's driven the evolution of consciousness is the more you can develop your intellect as a man the more more valuable you'll become and the more status you'll have So it's I think so I think so but but. |
| 20:26.94 | Max Shank | Um, is it because you can provide more though I think so too. |
| 20:34.27 | mikebledsoe | And which way can you provide big strong can kill shit protect or do the same exact thing because you're you're loaded with a bunch of money and and you know how to use it. |
| 20:43.26 | Max Shank | Way more. The latter nowadays you know like your your martial arts capacity is like the last thing on most ladies minds number 1 |
| 20:48.26 | mikebledsoe | Nowadays. Yeah, that's where we got. |
| 20:59.31 | Max Shank | A guy with 20 years of martial arts experience will lose to a guy with 1 day of firearms experience. So there's almost no point in being big and strong from a self-defense standpoint whatsoever and the likelihood of any physical violence is so low you can create way more. Force and power you have more power just being able to write a check and being able to use language. Well. |
| 21:22.75 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, people want to get along people deep down they they avoid conflict most so I I don't mind conflict I I find it fun. It's like a little bit of. |
| 21:38.47 | Max Shank | I disagree on you're wrong. |
| 21:41.52 | mikebledsoe | I fuck with it a bit and I noticed I noticed that a lot of people there. A lot of people are not that way. Ah y'all start I'll step into a conflict and people fold really quick. Um, and I'd I'd say I run into ten percent of people out there. Okay, with conflict other people. |
| 21:53.49 | Max Shank | The. |
| 22:01.39 | mikebledsoe | They they just want to avoid it at all costs I think I think you're right like it's it's safety in 2021 physical safety. It's pretty. You know, not saying that violence can't happen but have a gun there. You go no. |
| 22:13.14 | Max Shank | Yeah, it's rare. Yeah, you don't need to be like super buff. Most ladies don't care because that has changed right? The aesthetic over time for women has changed the desirability of men has totally changed. |
| 22:29.29 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, they like skinny guys now like being skinny is in which was when I was a kid that was the last thing you wanted to be. Yeah. |
| 22:38.14 | Max Shank | Not no, you were so it was called Scrawny back Then. And and ladies I mean it used to be. They were supposed to be plump like Victorian Era type of thing and then we had some stuff happen a little thicker well and then it. |
| 22:52.92 | mikebledsoe | Ah, well up until Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe was she's a thick woman and then. |
| 23:05.25 | Max Shank | Swung back around to like the supermodel phase of the Ninety s where you have 6 with tall women who weigh 1 hundred pounds and you're like oh my god like it looks like skeletor right? and then now I think it's kind of circled back around to the thick ladies. |
| 23:13.69 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 23:20.56 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I'm loving that I yeah I need a little I don't like him too skinny I tried I tried the 2 skinny ones didn't wasn't as pleasurable. Be honest, got to try it all out. Yeah yeah. |
| 23:33.22 | Max Shank | You got to find out what you like you got to find out what you like that's it. Um, it does sort of circle us back to if you're ready to talk about how to choose the right person I mean we can. |
| 23:40.36 | mikebledsoe | Take a 1 more little meat on her bones. You know. |
| 23:48.20 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah, we should? Yeah, we we just. |
| 23:52.64 | Max Shank | We could just talk about what ah physical traits we like in ladies but just watch all the female listeners just slowly go away if you're a lady and you made it past me saying women are judgmental then I so. |
| 23:57.74 | mikebledsoe | Ah, all right, all right? Ah I'll let you. |
| 24:11.92 | Max Shank | really support that thank you that's really nice ah yeah thank you for the support. Ah so it comes back to that scarcity idea. It's possible to just date 1 lady and have her be the 1 and. |
| 24:13.10 | mikebledsoe | Thank you for the support ladies. Yeah. |
| 24:31.12 | Max Shank | Get married and have a family would you say that's a little bit risky. |
| 24:36.41 | mikebledsoe | Boy it doesn't sound like you're diversifying your portfolio seems like an all eggs in 1 basket. |
| 24:40.48 | Max Shank | well well I mean all your eggs in 1 basket is more like the argument for being polyamorous I just mean like sampling sampling different personality types. |
| 24:54.97 | mikebledsoe | Ah, ah before you before you go into a marriage. |
| 24:59.85 | Max Shank | Yeah, because I think having ah a relationship can be 1 of the best things ever or possibly the worst thing ever. That's why I think it's such a good topic because there's that saying behind every ah. |
| 25:09.64 | mikebledsoe | Well. |
| 25:16.37 | Max Shank | Great man is a strong woman I'm guessing a woman came up with that quote had to have been right? but but also behind every like broken suicidal man is 1 or many women who made his life miserable now it's probably his own fault. But I'm saying is. |
| 25:30.31 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 25:35.78 | Max Shank | Both ways. Male female. A relationship can be like a crazy boost that defies the laws of physics or it can be ah like a poison that you take every day. |
| 25:50.68 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, totally agree. |
| 25:52.60 | Max Shank | I mean I've seen it I've seen it both ways and how can you choose? Well if you don't interact with multiple types of person. |
| 26:04.80 | mikebledsoe | Well this is this is a really big challenge because I don't think people really appreciate how long we as human beings have been choosing our marriage partners. It's like 100 years old I think prior. The further back you go the more arranged marriages you're going to see and americans I think have probably been on the cutting edge of choosing your your mate ah to the rest of the world. Ah, and ah the wealthy. You know I think kept it around longer than the poor I think the poor were more into choosing than the wealthy the wealthy were you know is all part about it was playing a role in joining together families. And yeah, political and financial. So so this idea of you choosing a mate. |
| 26:51.95 | Max Shank | It's poor political. |
| 27:01.43 | mikebledsoe | Is is very very interesting because it's it's new it choosing your mate is new and then not only that the amount of choices I went on bumble and it's it's overwhelming I mean I I would sit there and I could swipe through. Ah, hundred women in five minutes and you know rewind a hundred years or further back ago and that might have been how many women you've ever met in the first twenty years of your life. You know you may have met your. |
| 27:33.60 | Max Shank | That there are times where you wouldn't meet a hundred women who weren't your family members. |
| 27:39.00 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, and so like this idea that we now get to choose a mate and previously it was like you know what you get the the cards you were dealt. It's kind of like your looks right? It's like oh your face looks like that you're stuck with that rest of your life. Think that's how ah marriage was probably seen back then is yeah, you're just going to marry this person or you know you get out of these 3 women. You're probably going to you know, end up with 1 of them might as well start courting and so I only bring that up because. You know if we look at the generations if I look at all right? My dad definitely picked my mom and they met from different sides of the country. Um, they came together in 1 spot but were were nowhere near each other they they had a lot of options but then I look at my my dad's dad grew up in a town of four hundred. my dad grew up in a town of four Hundred he's like fortunate like he was on that cusp of he left his hometown in his late teens for adventure and found my mom now my grandfather was a town of. |
| 28:48.69 | Max Shank | I. |
| 28:54.18 | mikebledsoe | 400 and married a woman from that talent at 400 right so he probably his the amount of choices he had was probably you know a dozen you know. |
| 28:55.18 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 29:05.72 | Max Shank | It's probably a lot more clearly defined gender roles within a marriage at that time too though. |
| 29:09.96 | mikebledsoe | That as well and if you look back at his father who the fuck knows like they they had such so I only I bring all that up to to create this context and give ourselves a little bit of grace for. If we're if we seem like we're not not max and I I mean we can give us grace too but give yourself grace if you're fumbling around in relationships a bit because most of the things that are happening in relationship are new choosing a mate for yourself. That's new without having parents heavily. Ah. |
| 29:49.53 | mikebledsoe | Influencing it. So yeah I just bring that up because give ourselves some grace and we're all learning and I think it's a skill that you're gonna have to get even better at in the future because choice is only going up. |
| 30:01.35 | Max Shank | Well I think that is a really good point that you are always learning and so people change within the course of a relationship and that relates to what we're talking about with arranged marriages like right now. I'm pretty sure you could fact check me on this I'm pretty sure that right now it's still common plaque common practice in some parts of india to marry off your 12 year old daughter to a 30 year old dub. |
| 30:30.61 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, was it up? Well yeah I think so well I saw a news story Yesterday a girl in Afghanistan was a 12 year old girl was sold for two thousand dollars in afghanistan and you know it's probably propaganda from cnn basically. Trying to make the taliban look like a bunch of dicks which they probably are a bunch of dicks. But um, anyways I don't think that's specific to the taliban I think there's just a bunch of dudes out there a bunch of dicks. But ah. |
| 30:49.93 | Max Shank | That seems really cheap. |
| 31:01.26 | Max Shank | Well I think that's ah sort of what we're talking about you know? ah a lady has that intrinsic value. You couldn't sell like a boy for that price. Probably. |
| 31:17.43 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, women are gonna be more expensive are gonna cost more has more value there. So. |
| 31:24.80 | Max Shank | So okay, we're into arranged marriages which is like hey this is just how it is and there was no concept of divorce and then you know the story of King James King James bible. |
| 31:42.34 | mikebledsoe | Nah. Thanks! So yeah, please tell it? yeah. |
| 31:42.88 | Max Shank | 1 of my favorite stories ever he but you know he's a he's Good. Ah Catholic guy I Want to say Catholic Christian something like that he was He was hip with the bible and then he was married to this lady. He's like fuck I got to get out of this thing and they're like sorry church doctrine says no go and he's like we're gonna have to rewrite this book and so and so they did now you have the the King James bible which is like yeah divorce is okay Now. And I think that's hilarious I think that it's okay to play it either way. It's okay to want to stick it out and try to make it work and it's also okay to be thankful that for the time that you had with somebody. |
| 32:21.67 | mikebledsoe | To what. |
| 32:36.62 | Max Shank | And and move on with your life I think it's I think it's important to understand that people do grow in different ways. So this whole idea of till death to us part is like a really good idea. It. It seems meaningful but also I mean people do. Change people go through midlife crisis people go through just constant evolution and people grow differently sometimes sometimes you grow the same get intertwined and sometimes you grow in polar opposite directions and you have nothing left in common anymore. |
| 33:08.22 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I'll throw in my ah I'll throw in a vulnerable share of the day. So the ah so I was made for 9 years huh |
| 33:19.90 | Max Shank | You're bisexual. What's that huh. |
| 33:25.50 | mikebledsoe | I was married for 9 years and so greedy bunch of bastards just pick aside. Um so I'm actually really jealous of of people can go both ways. Oh yeah. |
| 33:30.17 | Max Shank | Bisexual is just greedy so greedy double dipping not cool man. |
| 33:43.57 | Max Shank | Um, yeah, it's greedy. It's amazing. Yeah. |
| 33:45.22 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, they have double the opportunity. Yeah so I was made for 9 years and ah, you know we we so parted ways about 2 and a half years ago now. Um. Ah, when when I got married I don't think she's gonna listen to this I'll I'll over share a bit but we'll see yeah, ah, when we were first married like. |
| 34:10.80 | Max Shank | This will be the first 1 She listens to no question. |
| 34:21.83 | mikebledsoe | We were a certain type of person I I know ah she was full of Insecurity I was full of Insecurity I was ah fairly I was very stressed out all the time I was ah yeah I was. I was fearful around relationships specifically I had a scarcity mentality I you know I I look back and and you know I made some decisions based on the wrong reasons and the reason I did that is because nobody can I never heard anyone tell me the right reasons you would want to be married. |
| 34:57.87 | Max Shank | And. |
| 34:59.60 | mikebledsoe | Like I I remember growing up in church and hearing things but like now that I'm forty was married for 9 years and I'm in ah, a really ah relationship I'm stoked about for a year and a half and now I can see I can see things so much clearly now and. And the advice that I would give somebody who's 25 or what was I was 27 when I got married twenty eight the advice I would give that person is no 1 gave me the advice I would give me now and but so some of it has to do with. Who you're surrounding yourself with and this before podcast before I get all enlightening shit. But ah so so enlightened. Yeah, yeah, that's usually it. Ah so ah. |
| 35:42.46 | Max Shank | So enlightened. That's what all the enlightened people say I'm I'm just so enlightened. |
| 35:56.82 | mikebledsoe | So I look back and go Wow! It's just a lot of core wounding. There's like a lot of lot of emotional wounds. A lot of insecurity that was driving a lot of the decisions during that time which made us a perfect couple we were we were meant to be together. We matched lock and key. |
| 36:08.73 | Max Shank | You matched Harm eyes. Yeah. |
| 36:14.25 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, like she she had like the ways in which I showed up for her was probably how she wished her dad would show up for her and and so on and so forth and so over the years the relationship it was 1 of those things where as we. Healed a lot of those wounds and didn't have the same insecurities popping up and and a lot of that just didn't matter anymore. You know, certain things didn't bother me anymore and I and I was open to more of my own desires versus what I was scared of losing and. During that time. We also improved our communication skills. We went to workshops and improved how to communicate I attended relationship workshops I did a lot of a lot of my personal development was how to improve relationships in general and so while. While I was in a relationship that what bound us together began to dissolve I also was getting better at relationships. So it was. It was like the relationship would get hard and then would get easier and so I was in this I was in this relationship I was like oh that is really hard. Don't know if I can make it. |
| 37:15.17 | Max Shank | Live. |
| 37:30.00 | mikebledsoe | And then I learned some way new way of relating and I changed something about myself and then like oh now we're jam and this is great and then we'd hit another hard stop and it really I got to the point where I go oh that that the core thing that has been binding us together for so long that's gone and. |
| 37:45.92 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 37:48.77 | mikebledsoe | Now it's about just trying to make this relationship work because we've been in it for so long and so yeah, yeah, and um, you know and when I when I left that relationship there. It took me. |
| 37:54.23 | Max Shank | Sunk cost policy. |
| 38:07.79 | mikebledsoe | It's been 2 and a half years it has not been that long for a nine year relationship 2 and a half years is not that long. So I still It's like every day that goes by I experience this less. It's almost nothing. It's probably a few times a week at this point, there's this guilt that may come up it. It. Kind of like this question comes up with could I have done something differently or could I have been a different way or I see myself in my current relationship where I'm doing things for her that my ex wanted me to do for her but I just didn't do. |
| 38:39.77 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 38:43.87 | mikebledsoe | Or I was for for some reason I was incapable in that moment and even though I tried and now I'm witnessing myself. Do it with ease and then I feel a little bit of guilt like oh why is it that I can do this so easily now it's so difficult then um, and so it's It's a very interesting thing to have. |
| 38:50.94 | Max Shank | Yeah, yeah. |
| 39:02.44 | Max Shank | That's a big deal. |
| 39:03.58 | mikebledsoe | Been and yeah, been in a nine year relationship and be able to look at it and go oh yeah, and and I'm very fortunate because when I left the relationship. You know there was there was a good year where a little over a year we were working on it before we split like we was we we knew that we this was a possibility. |
| 39:16.11 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 39:22.73 | mikebledsoe | And ah yeah, what I what I made sure of when I loved that relationship is I didn't want to bring any of the bullshit into the next relationship or go you know what I need to make sure that I'm I like clean here I don't want. Ah. |
| 39:33.12 | Max Shank | Whatever. |
| 39:42.38 | mikebledsoe | Even though we we still ended up splitting I had to make sure that it wasn't me. It wasn't like something that was 1 hundred percent me that was that was the problem because I knew that that would just show up in the next relationship and I don't want to do that to somebody else and so ah so i. Um, in my my experience I largely did that and then splitting up I had a year where I really focused on myself and I did date a little bit but man a lot of lessons there too. |
| 40:12.71 | Max Shank | Yeah I think that guilt that you were talking about is really um, it's nice that you feel comfortable sharing that I've definitely felt that myself. Basically every relationship I've ever been in is I Always think what I could have done differently whether it's a. |
| 40:27.76 | mikebledsoe | Um, a. |
| 40:31.51 | Max Shank | Business relationship or romantic relationship. Ah professional project was just telling someone the other day that as soon as I finish teaching a course I think of like 10 things I wish I had done different as soon as I finished launching a product I'm like oh God should have done this this and this different as soon as the relationships. And I'm like oh man I could have done this this and this and you you got to be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing the best you can with what you got based on how you think and feel at the time you know and so it's important not to drag any of the Bs along with you. |
| 40:52.23 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 41:03.28 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, so. |
| 41:10.22 | Max Shank | But you still want to remember those lessons So I'm really appreciative of all the relationships that I have had and I try to keep the lessons that I've learned and I try to focus on the things that I did like because then you also have a good frame of reference. For whatever relationship you're in now and you know you don't want to get into like comparison syndrome or something like that. But it's good to know. Um what you like and what you don't like and get comfortable drawing drawing boundaries and saying this is what I'm willing to um trade off or sacrifice. For what I'm willing to give what I'm willing to get out of a relationship. What I'm looking for in a relationship and I think that maybe the most important thing to realize is if you can't say no then you're basically a slave like if you can't say. You can't say no to something then you're you'll just be eroded over Time. So You're not really yourself. |
| 42:10.41 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, that. |
| 42:26.23 | mikebledsoe | I'll find the thought. |
| 42:38.44 | Max Shank | Yeah I think it's natural to judge ourselves especially when a relationship ends any anytime something finishes I think it's normal to say like oh what could I have done different. It's also probably common to viciously attack the character of the other person and say it's all their fault. |
| 42:48.71 | mikebledsoe | Well probably. |
| 42:56.90 | mikebledsoe | I Think that's the most common. Yeah, that's more common than yeah I mean's a mix of both I'm sure but you know we we can judge our previous self harshly because we've learned the lesson now we didn't know then where we didn't know it well enough then. |
| 42:57.47 | Max Shank | So you don't want to get into that trap either. |
| 43:09.21 | Max Shank | Yeah. |
| 43:14.10 | mikebledsoe | To take action on it or you didn't know how to do it. But after the fact you look back and go I know how to do that and then that's another reason to to give yourself a little bit of grace but you were digging into boundaries and um, yeah, the boundaries has been 1 of the most important things. Oh yeah, what I would that remind me of. Is well we can talk about boundaries later. But what I want to dig in here based on what you were just saying is when I said hey I want to I want to reengage with my dating life again and which I mean in my first marriage I was also dating other women. |
| 43:45.80 | Max Shank | The. |
| 43:52.29 | mikebledsoe | It was completely open. We were completely transparent about it. It was so it wasn't like I had gotten back up now the way I approached dating was very different. It felt very different from you know when I was married it was just like okay I'm gonna go have fun with this person when I was single it was like. |
| 44:02.75 | Max Shank | The. |
| 44:11.38 | mikebledsoe | I Had this experience of oh this could be something more and so it's like the pressure went up on it to a degree where which was surprising to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was actually interesting to watch myself. Ah, yeah, Wow I actually desire to be in a relationship. |
| 44:17.56 | Max Shank | Right before it was a play date before it was a play date Now you're playing for keeps. Basically. |
| 44:29.37 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 44:31.27 | mikebledsoe | Ah, and so ah, what I did was I I was sitting with my coach at the time he's actually in Encinitas and he says to me. Ah well,, you're very interested in women even though you're you're newly divorced and. All that you seem to attract women pretty easily and you like being in a relationship you like to be with women like yeah, that's all Accurate. He goes well I would write down what it is you want in a woman and because basically. I was working with him during you know all that leading up to my divorce and afterwards and what he saw was when you're when you're breaking away from a relationship. It is very difficult to see what it is. You do want you? you primarily see all the things you don't want or what you don't like. |
| 45:25.87 | Max Shank | The. |
| 45:27.76 | mikebledsoe | Like I want out of this I don't want this anymore and so it was I remember it was very hard for me to shift the gears into focusing on what I did want from a woman or maybe not from her but ah of a woman versus what I didn't want. And the list of didn't was so you can translate this the the list of don't wants can really inform you your do wants you can make all your list of like I don't want this this and this and go what's the opposite of that. So um, that's how I started I started I was like you know what? I don't want all this shit. |
| 45:59.55 | Max Shank | 10 |
| 46:06.70 | mikebledsoe | So I do want this and what I did was I swung really hard and I went to the other side of the spectrum and and then dated a woman who was the opposite of my ex and in a lot of ways. Um, and. |
| 46:19.40 | Max Shank | And. |
| 46:23.69 | mikebledsoe | And my coach even I remember got a chuckle at it's like dude you you just went the other direction hard like how's that going I'm like I'm loving it and then crash and burn is like no I don't love that and I realized that there were a lot of traits that I thought were valuable and this is going back to your your point early on which is. |
| 46:27.61 | Max Shank | No. |
| 46:42.76 | mikebledsoe | Good to try out a lot of different types of people when dating and looking at different. You know what type of personality traits all this stuff. There was a lot of things that I imagined that I desired. But for instance I desired a woman that was ah like financially independent I wasn't going to need to take care of them all this kind of stuff. So I ended up dating a woman who made like 2 to 3 times the amount of money I was making and it was It was really exciting I was like oh cool like I don't have to cover everything and she doesn't mind this and that and I get to go have lavish experiences and. |
| 47:14.42 | Max Shank | And. |
| 47:19.66 | mikebledsoe | Fivestar hotels and all this shit Ca Bana Boy Mike Yeah, so and I make good money so like ah for her to make triple like she's banking. She's you know? and so I but then I was like oh the emotional availability of this person is just nothing. |
| 47:21.45 | Max Shank | Cabana Boy mike. |
| 47:39.10 | mikebledsoe | And I was like oh I I didn't have that written down because it was just a like to me I think it was probably a given but I wasn't focused on it consciously so I wasn't choosing it. So then I go you know what I don't care. She doesn't have to be filthy rich she ah because I actually put down the intention I Want to date someone who makes more money to me. |
| 47:44.38 | Max Shank | And. |
| 47:56.93 | Max Shank | I Thought that was gonna be your advice for the listeners is just marry a rich girl. Ah. |
| 47:59.50 | mikebledsoe | And. Um, yeah, well, you know if she's self-made that could be a good thing if she's not good luck. Um, because I've I over the years I I dated some ah some rich girls when I was younger I was like in my teens but ah what a pain. So what I did was I kept refining my list I kept refining and writing down like what I wanted in a woman and then I got to a point where well I then went celibate for seven months. The first hundred days was on purpose and then. The rest of the time I was sell that was due to covid. So I basically I was gonna end my Ninety my hundred day was gonna be like the beginning of March like I was like about to get back in the game covid hit and then so I had to wait another few months to get back in. But um, yeah, during that time lot of reflection. |
| 48:41.90 | Max Shank | And. |
| 48:49.40 | Max Shank | Avenue. Ah. |
| 48:59.36 | mikebledsoe | And so when I did meet the person I'm with now she really does check all the boxes and I I think it is part of it is I did the work of finding Out. What is it that I really want somebody and things that I thought were valuable like. Aren't as bad but like I I value emotional development over money for sure. |
| 49:26.64 | Max Shank | It's really valuable to write those things down and what's interesting is I've done the same thing. The list of things that you want is also the best way you can show up in a relationship. |
| 49:39.25 | mikebledsoe | Show like. |
| 49:42.90 | Max Shank | Like it just turns right back on you, you're like dammit This is like how I can best be in a relationship too. You know it's not just like ah okay, ah, pretty lady here's a list of things I want from you and she's like great. She hands you the list back and's like yeah I want that too and you're like fuck. |
| 49:46.47 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 49:59.41 | mikebledsoe | I Well I think there's I think there's some I think that's partly true. Ah, you know, kind of like the treat ah treat others the way you want to be treated. Um, but really the. |
| 50:02.41 | Max Shank | Ah, yeah. |
| 50:13.33 | Max Shank | Oh I don't think that's true. Yeah. |
| 50:16.51 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, you want to treat people the way they want to be treated so like in a relationship that probably is the ways in which you could show up better but also be on the lookout for what is it they want and how they like for me I I could I could do with less touch and my relationship like. |
| 50:33.54 | Max Shank | Well. |
| 50:36.37 | mikebledsoe | Um I I love touch I'm a high touch person but my girlfriend's even more so so like she has to remind me like are you gonna touch me I'm like oh okay, yeah, and I appreciate the reminder. But if I touched her as much as I wanted to be touched. She would not be satisfied. |
| 50:41.16 | Max Shank | Um. Right. |
| 50:52.68 | Max Shank | As long as you're both willing to communicate that then it can work out. Okay, and as long as you understand what's going on there then it's okay, but like I think shying away from direct Crystal clear communication. |
| 50:57.13 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 51:11.60 | Max Shank | Is maybe perceived as not very sexy sometimes but also it's the main reason that people quietly suffer in a relationship they're like in their head I'm not getting what I want but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep things really smooth and it's like no, that's not. |
| 51:15.48 | mikebledsoe | It. |
| 51:30.66 | Max Shank | That's not going to work Meanwhile if you have like 2 gay guys and they're both tops. There's no confusion there because no 1 is going to be happy in that situation. You need a top and you need a bottom and you know you understand what I'm saying like they're they're not going to. Well. |
| 51:45.83 | mikebledsoe | I get it I do it I know how I know how gay people do it? yeah. |
| 51:50.23 | Max Shank | I've met a lot. Ah I've met a lot of gay guys. Um, yeah, what? Ah what a fun bunch of fellows. Um, but yeah, there's no, there's no mincing words there is what I've noticed. It's like I am ah I am a top I am a bottom. Ah great. |
| 52:01.62 | mikebledsoe | Is what it's what. |
| 52:09.87 | Max Shank | Um, a bottom. It's not going to work. There's no,, There's no compatibility there and the same thing is true with asking for what you want out of a relationship and being clear on what the expectations are and I think of a relationship. Ah, like a romantic 1 is really a lot more like ah, a business partnership than anything Else. You are building a life together and you need to have more or less an operating agreement just as just like you would need in any other business like. You know I'll get the food and you cook the food and you do this and I'll do this and this and you know we have our responsibilities So There's no confusion about who's responsible for what and there's none of that um lack of clarity that can make people start to. Quietly Harbor resentment which is a huge problem. So if you don't ask for what you want and you get resentful. That's on you. |
| 53:13.35 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah I think for a lot of people. They don't even know what they want so they I I yeah. |
| 53:20.32 | Max Shank | Yeah, we'll shoot. Don't most people choose partners just based on how pretty they look by the way I think that if you prioritize that above everything else, You're probably going to have. Ah, relationship that is really challenging at some point. |
| 53:41.43 | mikebledsoe | I've never seen anyone who valued that over everything else have a ah long happy relationship. |
| 53:46.59 | Max Shank | Well because a relationship you know, even if you're doing a lot of sex. It's still like four percent of your day. It's an ah, an hour is four percent. The rest of the the rest of the time there's got to be other things that keep you interested. |
| 54:02.63 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, I'm not remembering who who told me this but ah, probably some relationship guru. Ah and which is sex is there to bridge the gap so that you have time to build the. |
| 54:05.28 | Max Shank | You know what. |
| 54:09.27 | Max Shank | Um, and. |
| 54:21.29 | mikebledsoe | Foundation of the relationship and if you make sex the foundation of the relationship. It's not going to last because like I said the beginning of the show. The first six months of relationship you're on drugs you're high. You're not, you're not thinking straight your hormones and. |
| 54:22.23 | Max Shank | Are. |
| 54:29.10 | Max Shank | Yeah, right? no. |
| 54:40.77 | mikebledsoe | Neurotransmitters are firing very differently than they will be in a year from now. Ah when you're relating to the same person so sex is a you know great sex I think for me isn't I need great sex I I will if I if I'm not getting that i. Begin to wander pretty easily. Um I mean I got high sex drive or something. |
| 55:02.50 | Max Shank | I Don't think there's anything I don't think there's anything wrong with that I think recognizing that things are changing in a way that you don't like is extremely valuable and it kind of correlates back to another important point which is if you're not. Comfortable by yourself. You probably won't be able to make the right choice for a relationship. |
| 55:29.60 | mikebledsoe | That's true. Yeah I the relationship I'm in I was I actually went this whole process where I was because I didn't know what was going to happen with a pandemic I'm like oh maybe I'm single for the rest of my life. Maybe there was a moment where that was like in the first the first month of it. |
| 55:43.40 | Max Shank | Oh yeah, what. |
| 55:47.10 | mikebledsoe | Was going world seems pretty chaotic I don't know if I'm gonna find a mate anytime soon. It might be a while I might as well enjoy me and without a partner. Um, yeah, what was I saying before that feel like we jumped tracks I was on to go back. |
| 55:51.70 | Max Shank | Um, ah. |
| 56:05.70 | mikebledsoe | Um, and my memory is not go ahead. |
| 56:07.47 | Max Shank | What you're the you you were talking about that. Um, you have a certain level of touch desire. Your lady has a slightly higher 1 Great sex is important to you but it's not the only thing you said sex is the bridge to build the foundation of other stuff. |
| 56:21.71 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah, yeah, the. But yeah, the set sex will hold 2 people together long enough to build that foundation. But if you don't spend time building the other aspects of your relationship aligning your boundaries aligning your values your vision of the future together. If. You don't take care of that in the first six months you probably won't it probably won't last and if you do make the choice to stay in a relationship and you don't have those things I would I would challenge you to look at whether you're with that person out of insecurity versus. |
| 56:56.80 | Max Shank | Um, it's really more like codependence and you're not willing to cut your losses even though it's the right choice I mean that is 1 of the most common fallacies in relationships is the sunk cost fallacies. Well I've been with this person it. So I'll stay with this person and it's like. |
| 56:58.77 | mikebledsoe | Out of true desire. |
| 57:04.43 | mikebledsoe | Right. |
| 57:13.18 | mikebledsoe | In here. |
| 57:16.80 | Max Shank | No, it's the same as ah, owning stock or owning possessions. It's not what I keep this. It's would I buy this today brand new again and if the answer is no then like what are you doing like yeah. |
| 57:32.20 | mikebledsoe | That's. |
| 57:36.79 | Max Shank | Oh man, it really is That's why I was so interested to talk about this and it's funny how you and I were just both thinking about the same thing because the whole concept of I know we both just were like how about relationships because it is I think the. |
| 57:44.37 | mikebledsoe | If we didn't know what we were gonna talk about 2 hours ago. You know. |
| 57:56.24 | Max Shank | The number 1 greatest thing ever is having ah like a loving romantic relationship or even just loving relationships in general and the worst thing is to have a relationship that is ah the source of Resentment. You know the source of settling for for less and it it can be really really good or really, really Awful. So It's probably the most important choice to make. |
| 58:18.67 | mikebledsoe | Yeah I think. |
| 58:27.21 | mikebledsoe | I would say there was a there was a ah early my relate. You know my previous relationship there was I would work to get away I would I was always wanting to travel you know business conference signed me up. You know, just a little bit of relief here and there. |
| 58:39.61 | Max Shank | The. |
| 58:45.81 | mikebledsoe | And but now I find myself now wanting to like I want to work to provide for the the family like I want to set things up so that we can spend more time together and when we travel apart. |
| 59:01.59 | Max Shank | Yeah, perfect. |
| 59:03.60 | mikebledsoe | Um, like I miss her and like it's it's it's oh I wish she could be with me instead of you know, whatever so and she actually has been traveling more than me which is ah that's a first as well is well that's not the first time I've been in relationship where they they were traveling more but it's ah. |
| 59:12.68 | Max Shank | And. |
| 59:21.36 | mikebledsoe | In a relationship that's lasted this long being with somebody who travels as much as she does is like okay. |
| 59:25.45 | Max Shank | So when you were a little younger you were traveling a lot and not ah not getting too attached kind of so it's really funny like because you know I traveled a ton for work and I think I also. |
| 59:32.23 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, okay. |
| 59:44.60 | Max Shank | Had this idea that if I was desirable to women then that was the best thing so I wouldn't want to be in a relationship I would just want to be like coveted which sounds pretty like twisted I guess but that's just the way I was so I wouldn't even I wouldn't even date people who lived close to me they had to. Live like really far away so it was like totally clear like hey we're just we're just having fun. There's like nothing to because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But I also thought that my worth as a person was directly correlated. Whether. As to whether as to how I was judged by women if I was desirable isn't that funny. |
| 01:00:24.38 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah, have a similar experience which is ah I was married and then like I just I wanted to be seen as desirable. So I had to walk I know a party with 2 women on my arms like instead of just 1 ne's not enough. |
| 01:00:37.90 | Max Shank | Yeah, right. |
| 01:00:41.63 | mikebledsoe | Have 2 I got to show that I got to show everybody that I'm desirable I'm good enough. |
| 01:00:44.70 | Max Shank | And that's what I would come in with 3 and that's when I would come in with 3 because that meant I was 1 lady better than you. |
| 01:00:54.89 | mikebledsoe | I wish that scene actually did go down like I walk in with 2 I'm like you walk in with 3 like fuck man. He beat me again. |
| 01:00:56.94 | Max Shank | It's like that would have been. Then Jay-z walks in with 21 of them is beyonce and we're just like I guess he wins it's It's funny. Ah, how direct that message is. Like popular culture and especially music like it's all about like cars and planes and hoes and that's like the value of a man is like how many hose he has poolside and his mansion and what kind of plane. |
| 01:01:26.72 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 01:01:35.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, is a thing 1 thing occurred to me in this conversation which I'm I'm having a lot of appreciation for myself and that I never thought I'd be as good with women as I am today? Um, um, ah I did become quite the ladies man I can I can work a room. I can pick up women I can ask them out on dates fairly easy. And yeah, when I was younger I was terrified that I would never be attractive or be able to talk to women with confidence. So just conversations allowed me reflect on that. So it's. |
| 01:02:11.79 | Max Shank | I think I I did the same thing I put them up on a pedestal like they were some sort of otherworldly creature and they are in a certain sense. It's interesting because what we like about women is that they're different than men. But also what we hate about them. |
| 01:02:12.24 | mikebledsoe | Pretty cool. |
| 01:02:31.78 | Max Shank | Is the way that they're different from men most of the time. So So it's ah it's interesting. That's what makes relationships. Um fun I think is the differences but it's also what makes them challenging because you can't know what another person's. Life experience is like and you know I think maybe 1 other thought that is important is it's never personal like no 1 Ne's ever personally rejecting you? No 1 Ne's ever personally attacking you no 1 Ne's ever. |
| 01:02:52.23 | mikebledsoe | No. |
| 01:03:09.75 | Max Shank | Like lashing out at you. They're just in a state where their lizard brain has taken over because they feel afraid or they just want something different, but it's never personal to you as an individual what someone else does and I think that's that's probably pretty hard for. |
| 01:03:23.34 | mikebledsoe | So. |
| 01:03:29.74 | Max Shank | Most people too believe but it's true. |
| 01:03:31.90 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, not taking things personally is huge I think in general but in relationships yeah, that's in romantic relationships if you can master that 1 then that'll that'll help you out I mean my my girlfriend I have gotten into we've had 1 fight. |
| 01:03:49.50 | Max Shank | Or. |
| 01:03:50.91 | mikebledsoe | Many disagreements but were able to work it out 1 fight where I raised my voice and regretted it but um and quickly mended that is 1 of those where like the the switch got flipped. There's 3 o'clock in the morning you know I'll make up all sorts of excuses why it happened but ah. |
| 01:04:05.98 | Max Shank | Here Come the excuses. |
| 01:04:10.57 | mikebledsoe | Ah, ah, but now I forgot what I was talking about all the shame came rolling in. Um, yeah, so what was I talking about. |
| 01:04:16.73 | Max Shank | Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself for losing control for 1 minute. |
| 01:04:30.30 | mikebledsoe | I took nootropics this morning and I think they backfired my memory has been terrible on this show. |
| 01:04:32.87 | Max Shank | Oh gosh I am also cutting you off more than usual because I wanted to say a few things today. |
| 01:04:38.86 | mikebledsoe | Ah I think it's good I think I think it worked out my lack of memory here. It's perfect. Perfect I hope you got a lot of words in today. |
| 01:04:47.10 | Max Shank | yeah yeah I did I got in more than usual, um because that's you know how we assert our dominance in this conversation. Maybe maybe the folks at home can vote on which 1 of us is the dominant 1 in this podcast. |
| 01:04:57.30 | mikebledsoe | It's not. It's right? it. |
| 01:05:05.77 | mikebledsoe | Ah, we should just be a vote for every show you know who won who won this who won the match. It's like it's ah it's a podcast fight you know, um. |
| 01:05:08.73 | Max Shank | Yeah, yeah, who. |
| 01:05:20.70 | Max Shank | That's actually 1 of the things I like about our conversations and usually I find this is more true with talking to women as they don't interrupt and steamroll as much and they're better at listening. |
| 01:05:31.84 | mikebledsoe | And. |
| 01:05:34.14 | Max Shank | And I'm not trying to compare you to women at all I think I also have a more feminine conversational style where I feel comfortable just letting someone talk for a long time but it's very difficult to make any headway in a conversation if you are only talking with people who want to win the conversation. |
| 01:05:51.60 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 01:05:53.91 | Max Shank | Right? That's ah, that's a huge um handicap to your development if you don't have conversations with people who are good at listening and also thoughtful in the way that they respond. |
| 01:06:08.15 | mikebledsoe | Well the um I did a thousand I've done over 1000 podcast interviews where I've interviewed other people. Yeah, so in a lot of those podcasts for 2 to 3 hours I'd say they're between they range between ninety minutes and and 3 hours. |
| 01:06:13.70 | Max Shank | What. |
| 01:06:27.69 | mikebledsoe | So 1 of the things I note as 1 of the as something that was huge in my personal development was just doing the interviews just being interested in somebody else in a way that I know the audience would like so. |
| 01:06:37.50 | Max Shank | Okay. |
| 01:06:46.53 | mikebledsoe | Satisfying some of my own curiosity imagining the curiosity of my audience and making sure that those questions were asked. Um, you know there's a few times I talked over people I was interviewing and I got feedback that was being a dick um, and. |
| 01:07:01.11 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 01:07:05.17 | mikebledsoe | I was called names a couple times and they were right? Ah so it's I think it's a matter of reps because I grew up in a home where it was about winning the conversation. There's a lot of yelling over each other and all that. |
| 01:07:20.80 | Max Shank | It takes a special kind of confidence though to be silent for a little bit longer I would say it's more valuable in conversations that are off the air like person to person conversations where you're not recording it for some interview. But. |
| 01:07:35.47 | mikebledsoe | But in. |
| 01:07:40.28 | Max Shank | Taking a pause to really consider what you want to say to that person is crazy valuable and ironically or surprisingly people will listen to you more attentively if you do that rather than just. |
| 01:07:54.88 | mikebledsoe | Or yeah. |
| 01:07:59.24 | Max Shank | But but but but but but words words, words are so when you're on a podcast. It's tough because part of what you're doing is you're like showcasing what you know right? So you want to be talk talk Talk Talk talk hey like I know about this hey I know about this hey look how smart I am look at all these things I remember like I can say these big fancy words. |
| 01:08:05.11 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:08:15.96 | mikebledsoe | Well that that also reminds me of um how I approach new relationships just not romanticic. But when I meet new people I've noticed this a couple times in the last month where I was in a car with somebody knew somebody I hadn't. |
| 01:08:18.75 | Max Shank | Ah, what. |
| 01:08:25.21 | Max Shank | Um. |
| 01:08:36.20 | mikebledsoe | Spent much time with I'm in a car with them 1 on 1 and I just don't say anything who sit there in silence and see what they do and then it's it. Most people will start small talk like ah so you know the weather. |
| 01:08:41.35 | Max Shank | Ah. |
| 01:08:55.14 | Max Shank | Because silence is uncomfortable. |
| 01:08:55.27 | mikebledsoe | Or my dog or super uncomfortable. So there have been a number of times where I'm with somebody and I'm being silent and then five minutes goes buying the go. Wow! This is really nice like yeah it is and it's like okay we can be friends like it's going to be a lot easier to be friends and. You're just trying to ah if you're feeling so uncomfortable that you have to just say shit. So. |
| 01:09:20.12 | Max Shank | You can enjoy a person's presence without words and without a touch either. You can just enjoy that a person is there with you and I think that's a great indicator that that person is comfortable in their own skin. |
| 01:09:36.47 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 01:09:38.59 | Max Shank | That they're comfortable around you I think that's a very good point is very telling babbling My ah my girlfriend was hanging out with somebody and she was. |
| 01:09:42.38 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 01:09:56.97 | Max Shank | She she calls me up afterward and she was like she just wouldn't be quiet. She it was just constant constant just spewage of words like any silence would be just crazy uncomfortable and sometimes you don't notice it. |
| 01:10:04.71 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, for. |
| 01:10:10.83 | mikebledsoe | My ah the. |
| 01:10:16.18 | Max Shank | Until you're ah you have the juxtaposition of someone who's very comfortable saying nothing and someone who would be like in physical pain if 5 seconds go by without words being said. |
| 01:10:25.52 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, the damn. My memory really is fucked today. |
| 01:10:35.34 | Max Shank | Yeah, you're off today. It's it's all the it's all the shame associated from your checkered past. |
| 01:10:42.97 | mikebledsoe | I did just I did bring up about fifty percent of my pain on the in the last hour so |
| 01:10:48.99 | Max Shank | You laid it you laid it all out I I was like ah leaning back feeling very freudian I was like oh yes, now Michael telling me about your muzza. I feel like another half hour. We'll dig up every little bit of archeological pain. |
| 01:11:07.47 | mikebledsoe | Mark yeah well ah, what you were saying reminded me of ah something mark england from Vocabulary he has this he has this term he calls transcribing and it's when somebody starts telling you about something that happened. And they're just walking you through what happened with no there's no story. It's like and then you know I woke up this morning and they did it and they just like tell you about their day. You're like okay like and there's nothing to talk about. |
| 01:11:28.66 | Max Shank | And. |
| 01:11:41.65 | Max Shank | Isn't it merk with no purpose though I mean maybe a purpose of just getting attention because it depends how the story is framed right? I mean. |
| 01:11:49.58 | mikebledsoe | Well yeah, but it's not a story. It's just ah, it's a listing of things that happened and in chronological order which technically is a story. |
| 01:11:56.67 | Max Shank | Well it it. Yeah, it is a story because they're retelling it so that makes it a story. What I find is when people do that. It's usually because they're trying to paint themselves as a hero or a victim right. |
| 01:12:10.89 | mikebledsoe | A a. |
| 01:12:14.45 | Max Shank | Like oh I did this and then oh my god you won't believe what happened to me I was waiting in line and then they closed the line and I was like what you got to be kidding me so then I had to go to a different line and it took me ten minutes and that was late to pick up my kid. Oh I got I just can't handle this shit anymore and you're like oh gay all right like I get it. Oh. |
| 01:12:24.21 | mikebledsoe | Ah. |
| 01:12:30.52 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, the the things that some people tell stories about like oh if that that happened to you or me we wouldn't think anything of it like oh the line closed and there was no emotional upset so we wouldn't even remember to tell that story later. |
| 01:12:46.66 | Max Shank | Yeah, because it's not. It's not really valid and your life is your collection of stories that you bring with you and the stimuli that you experience and the more you retell a story the more gravity it has in your. |
| 01:13:01.89 | mikebledsoe | Like. |
| 01:13:04.90 | Max Shank | Life and in yourself. So I'm I'm really I would say careful to elect which stories that I perpetuate is so it's so important. |
| 01:13:14.10 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, agree and be considerate people. Don't want to hear that shit people don't want to hear like like tell me good stories tell me something with a point you know I. |
| 01:13:20.80 | Max Shank | I Hate it. |
| 01:13:28.97 | Max Shank | Well, it doesn't it doesn't need to it doesn't need to have a point but it should maybe be funny at least? yeah so I think of it like I think of it like this I think of it I've told you about an energy vampires. |
| 01:13:30.54 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, just be considerate. That's how I got said well that would be a good point is the humor humor. |
| 01:13:45.29 | mikebledsoe | I'm gonna have I'm gonna have friends listening to this me like oh my God have I been inconsiderate This might think I'm a dick for like no everyone everyone everyone stops talking to me like I'm afraid to talk to him. He's judging me. |
| 01:13:49.81 | Max Shank | Yeah, no wonder he never calls me anymore. He must hate me. Yeah, the leper now. Um, it's like an energy vampireism right? People are trying to get. |
| 01:14:04.65 | mikebledsoe | Is. |
| 01:14:08.71 | Max Shank | Some energy from you for for just a story about how they are sad. Let's say in some way for simplicity's sake but it's just like with regular vampires if you don't invite that in they can't come in. No 1 if you draw a good boundary. |
| 01:14:12.89 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:14:26.48 | Max Shank | No 1 can do that to you and I think right now. Um, maybe it's just more front and center. But I've never seen more like victim stories told and retold I even felt myself doing it ah last year and I ah put the kaibosh on that because. It was easy for me to go like oh you know like f this is not fair. They can't like close my gym blah blah blah blah blah and you know all this all this stuff and I was like man max you gotta stop being such a bitch. Why don't you just focus on what you can do and stop telling that story and sure enough it did make things. |
| 01:15:03.54 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah. |
| 01:15:04.55 | Max Shank | A ton better. So don't don't don't don't retell stories where you're the victim because you may get you probably will get um some psychic energy boost. You'll get some likes you might even get a hug or something like that. But the the cost is not worth. |
| 01:15:23.51 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well I think we'll close it up there I think we we did a good job talking about relationships. So I say that like it was a question I think there's a lot of nuggets in there. There's a lot of things that I can think. |
| 01:15:24.34 | Max Shank | That benefit. |
| 01:15:32.16 | Max Shank | Yeah, we were all over the place I liked it? yeah. |
| 01:15:42.11 | mikebledsoe | I'm sure tomorrow I'd go oh there's 20 other things I could talk about so maybe there'll be a part 2 to relationships. |
| 01:15:47.24 | Max Shank | Yeah, we could get some feedback from the from the folks at home I mean hopefully by now they understand that the most important thing is just to marry a beautiful idiot. |
| 01:16:02.23 | mikebledsoe | Ah, oh and if you didn't get that joke man you were doomed max where can people find you. |
| 01:16:03.17 | Max Shank | Ah, yeah, do the yeah, do the opposite of that do the exact opposite of that um maxsank dot com I'm also at Maank although I'm not really using. Social media. |
| 01:16:22.37 | mikebledsoe | But he may in the future who knows ah you can find me on Instagram at mike underscore bloodso and if you're a coach and doing the coach thing. The strongcoach dot com that's all I got see you next week levy max |
| 01:16:25.39 | Max Shank | I might. |
| 01:16:34.58 | Max Shank | Thank you folks! Love you buddy. |
| 00:00.56 | mikebledsoe | That's how you already canceled you're bulletproof. |
| 00:01.76 | Max Shank | It's okay I already canceled myself so well, it's like I found I was putting so much of my identity into this illusion that I had masterfully crafted. On the internet I was like the dark night of fitness I was professional I was like once in a while a little bit funny I used all the big fancy words and I only showed people the exact slice of my life I wanted them to see and I was really good at it too and then I was like man this is a. Probably probably not good long term like this whole this whole reality that we've created where people think oh, that's just that's just max all the time I'm just out there. You know going on vacations and lifting huge things all the time and it's not really.. It's not really very honest. So of course I think we all do to fit in I think that's kind of normal and the best friends you have are the ones you don't have to fake around and truthfully. |
| 00:57.30 | mikebledsoe | Or you are censoring yourself. It sounds like. |
| 01:15.83 | Max Shank | I don't really hang out with too many people that I have to um, fake it around which is why I say some horrible things that are also really funny like if you've ever played the game would you rather? that's a really, that's a really good 1 Are you played would you rather. |
| 01:20.66 | mikebledsoe | Four. |
| 01:30.62 | mikebledsoe | No. |
| 01:34.00 | Max Shank | So here's it's a hypothetical game. So for example, would you rather have sex with a goat and have no 1 know about it or have a video of you having sex with a goat that's totally fake, but everyone thinks you did. |
| 01:47.44 | mikebledsoe | Oh that's a good 1 Yeah ah I'm gonna censor myself on that 1 actually I'm I'm having a hard time because yeah I think I might be on the same page as you on that 1 Ah. |
| 01:56.14 | Max Shank | I would have sex with the goat. |
| 02:04.99 | Max Shank | Is because there's still such a social stigma against bestiality right now we're not really enlightened about that. |
| 02:07.50 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, it's and. |
| 02:13.34 | mikebledsoe | Ah, well, it's interesting. What you're discussing is self-censorship is ah I hear people say they want to be more Authentic. You know I talk to a lot of people who want to express themselves on the internet and because I think people witnessed me do it and then they're like how do you do it I Want to do it too. And and and I'm definitely somebody Who's who's got a history of censoring myself less So these days than and earlier. But I think people deep down they desire not needing a sensor sensor themselves. They they want to. They want to be widely accepted by everybody but they think that the only way that can happen and it's probably true. The only way you can be popular with everybody is to censor yourself depending on the audience you're talking to and the person you're talking to. |
| 03:03.58 | Max Shank | It is the most important thing to fit in with the group that you're a part of to fit in with the tribe I mean little kids go Rob seven eleven s and murder people so they can be part of a gang people say things that they don't mean people lie I mean I was a kid once I used to lie. |
| 03:16.69 | mikebledsoe | Yep. |
| 03:22.26 | mikebledsoe | Oh yeah. |
| 03:22.93 | Max Shank | Did you ever lie I was great at it I had like think I had like 50 grandparents die as far as teachers knew growing up. Oh I decided I didn't do my homework a grandparents diet or something like that you know like when your're kid and you find out that lying is a. |
| 03:29.54 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 03:42.50 | Max Shank | Like a ten second uncomfortable experience that can save you like weeks of trouble. Potentially it's it's natural that you would do it and if you're talking about how to like fit in better. Oh my god of course we all do that. |
| 03:49.94 | mikebledsoe | Yeah. |
| 03:57.67 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, but would you say that everyone on of about everyone. But I think that everyone gets to a point at some point in their life where they don't want to have to censor themselves anymore and I think that they. When they are at that point the language they use to describe what they desire is they want to be free I Want to be free to express myself and ah and what ends up happening is when someone starts exploring how much they want to express themselves. Find out that they're the only ones that are censoring themselves based on wanting to be accepted by the tribe and the likeability and so I've witnessed a lot of people including myself go through this process where a slowly saying fuck it I don't give a fuck What people think. I'm going to be more honest and then watching watching the polarization happen where some people get become more distant from me the more honest I am and other people getting a lot closer because of how honest I am and it's a it's a filter and it's and it's. |
| 04:57.20 | Max Shank | And. |
| 05:02.56 | Max Shank | Well, it's just filter. It's a good thing. It's like panning for gold. |
| 05:09.20 | mikebledsoe | And it's really served me in a way where I experience my experience of my life is ah very enhanced. It's it's unreal at times. Um, and my sister she came to my birthday party a few weeks ago. And she got to witness my community and she was blown away. She didn't realize that people could be like that. But it really is a result of censoring myself less and attracting those people who and then giving permission to other people. Censor themselves less because I think you and I both say things that in. Probably me more publicly but say things that people turn their heads at and go well that's a crazy thing to say I've never heard anyone say that before or put it that way. Um, and I think I think it gives people permission to go oh if he can do it I can do it too. |
| 05:58.42 | Max Shank | Totally and. Well and there's something to be said about a frictionless experience like if you're in a situation where I guess what I'm saying is it's easy to put other people at ease with the way that you communicate. Like you don't have to draw attention to things that are like if you see someone who's really overweight. You don't have to draw attention to their fatness. You don't have to just speak whatever you instinctually think so we're always choosing what to say as if. |
| 06:32.71 | mikebledsoe | Um, yeah, it doesn't mean doesn't mean that. |
| 06:40.10 | Max Shank | It's important or not important. |
| 06:40.61 | mikebledsoe | Well I would say it's um, yeah, censorship is a form of filter but it's not the only version of Filter. There's There's the the filter of of ah of response you're being responsible with your words and how people receive them. And so it wouldn't behoove me to go out there and tell everybody exactly what I think and the way that I want to say it now. What I do is I say things say what I believe and what I think in a way in which I know it can be received because there's no point and if I'm just saying. You know if I'm just dropping the truth. Ah the way that I want to be heard and understood I'm just going to sound like a crazy person. |
| 07:27.50 | Max Shank | Well, you just touched on something that I was thinking which is a good communicator doesn't just communicate the information as simply as possible. He considers who the audience is so it will resonate with them the best. So. |
| 07:40.68 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 07:46.26 | Max Shank | The examples that you use or the language you use I mean you and I both understand the the power of communication and getting a resonant message if you and I were writing an exercise program. For 20 year old men or 50 year old women. The program itself might actually look the same but the way that we present that offer would be monumentally different or at least it should be monumentally different. So it's not just about. |
| 08:18.78 | mikebledsoe | A. |
| 08:23.98 | Max Shank | Oh I'm like speaking my truth. It's like well why are you talking at all unless you care about the message being received. |
| 08:30.28 | mikebledsoe | Yeah, well that but that makes me think of like like ah it it it requiring you to have good communication to get your point across in a way that they can receive it is that is ah a good sense. That's good. Ah. Leadership. That's good communication to have good leadership. You have to have good communication and what I think we're witnessing in our society right now is um, it's laziness I see that that censorship when when censorship is being heavily used. It's ah it's a form of laziness. And it's also um, on that note, what we were just saying too is you have to fit it to your audience. So what ends up happening is the larger the audience the harder it is to be good at communicating with that audience. So we we take the United states of America and there's 3 hundred and fifty million people. You now have to create ah get to communicate the narrative in a way that that impacts all 3 hundred million people is that even lowest common and nomin and is that possible and so. |
| 09:35.80 | Max Shank | Lowest common denominator. |