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The Bledsoe Show

The show formerly known as "Bledsopia" On this podcast, you’ll learn from thought leaders who are dedicating their lives to being a positive force for your physical, psycho-emotional and spiritual health. Your host, Mike Bledsoe, seeker of truth & perpetual student, spotlights premier thought leaders in the fields of emotional & intellectual expansion, behavior change, sexuality & alternative medicine that empower you with the tools and inspiration to transform your mind, body, & spirit. Every week, this is your opportunity to get downloads from exceptional people that will guide you to the connections between your own source, to live your best life & enjoy the process.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Oct 19, 2021

00:00.-3

mikebledsoe

Animal facts. We're gonna talk about masculinity and femininity I hate that femininity How it I'm always always feel like I'm adding an n in there I think I am masculine feminine makes it way easier.

00:10.7

Max Shank

Femininity masculine and feminine.

00:19.4

mikebledsoe

So ah, yeah, we discussed talking about this last week because we we began to touch on it a bit so max you wanted to dive into the animal kingdom. Do we want to do that first. Yeah.

00:33.7

Max Shank

Yeah I just want to do like forty minutes of animal jokes if possible. But I think I think before we kick that off though we should draw attention to the difference between male and female and masculine and feminine.

00:38.5

mikebledsoe

Right? We'll see.

00:50.9

mikebledsoe

Um, yep.

00:52.8

Max Shank

Because those are 2 kind of different things. Um, it's funny I have the whole ah yin yang symbol behind me which is the masculine and feminine and there's ah, a drop of the light in the dark and there's a drop of the dark in the light and I think that's a good. Metaphor for what we're talking about. It's not just I am 1 hundred percent masculine or 1 hundred percent in a female is not going to be 1 hundred percent feminine. It's going to be a gradient and there are going to be different identities and personalities wrapped up into. Where someone is masculine and where someone is feminine and that's going to be instinct or genetics as it's manifested through the nurture through the learned behavior. So. That's why you get some. Guys who are way more feminine and you get some women who are way more masculine and I would probably argue that right now we have more feminine men. And more masculine women than we've probably had maybe ever in the history of humanity. Would you agree.

02:16.5

mikebledsoe

Yeah, from what I've studied in History. It does seem that that's that is the case I think that the the state of the the amount of wealth that we enjoy the amount of ah time we get to. Have for ourselves that the world is not as demanding. We're not demanded into a role as much. So I think there's a lot more choice. Men aren't necessarily expected to be more masculine and and I think it's worth bringing up the. Different traits of masculinity and and femininity. Ah the you know masculine is is normally the ah the what on yeah there they.

03:02.5

Max Shank

Light on light on active.

03:13.0

mikebledsoe

Usually are protectors producers. It's it's about production. It's about what doing penetrating? Ah, it's It's a lot of action and.

03:25.5

Max Shank

Yeah.

03:28.3

mikebledsoe

Thoughts could be thought of as a masculine trait whereas feelings is more feminine and and feminine is and masculine is on the on the giving side whereas feminine is more on the receiving side much more nurture nurturing more Accepting. Ah. The way things are versus trying to change them a masculine feature is yeah yeah, and I think it's an example I Really like to use here is if we're going talk about masculine and Feminine. We can talk about being paternal or Maternal. So.

03:50.2

Max Shank

Send and receive yes and and receive.

04:04.7

Max Shank

Um.

04:07.2

mikebledsoe

Eternal behavior is masculine and maternal behavior is feminine and ah if we look at you know I'll give an example that I think you and I will be able to identify with and probably a lot of people in the audience is. When you were a kid and at a baseball game you were playing and you struck out the what was what's the response from the typical mother if you strike out.

04:34.4

Max Shank

Ah, it's okay, you'll get him next time right.

04:37.3

mikebledsoe

Exactly What's the typical response of the father in that situation.

04:43.8

Max Shank

Ah, you're ah a worthless piece of dirt if you had if you had listened to me this wouldn't have happened now probably here's probably here's what you should do differently like here's how you fix it.

04:51.6

mikebledsoe

Well, there's varying degrees. Um, yeah, so like ah and it's funny. You mentioned that that first example because there's healthy and and unhealthy expressions of both so the the healthy expression of of of paternal. Ah, healthy expression would be oh yeah, let's ah, we'll get them next time. Let's make sure we go to batting practice. You know I'm going to take you out tomorrow and we're gonna they're going to paint a picture of the future that's different than what it is right now whereas. Yeah, the maternal is like you know it's all good. You could keep striking out. It's not a big deal. Yeah yeah, I also think about the the masculine as holding the vision of the future and wanting to create progress.

05:33.4

Max Shank

Um, it's like it's like fixing versus accepting.

05:48.6

mikebledsoe

Where the feminine is is more ah is more accepting of just the way things are currently so both both are both are absolutely necessary. Is 1 thing I want to point out.

05:54.2

Max Shank

Yeah, and.

06:02.0

Max Shank

No question and if you if you slide the bar all the way to 1 side or the other you become ah impossible to live with.. Basically you can't You can't be 1 hundred percent. Ah, feminine traits and you can't be 1 hundred percent masculine traits like it just doesn't work. Especially right now right.

06:25.0

mikebledsoe

Yeah there's a lot more flexibility. Um, and but you know we have more choice for sure. But there's a book. Um that I read a while backed by a guy who I'm not remembering his name right now. It may come to me but basically he wrote 1 book called integral relationships and ah and that was that book was specifically written for men and then which brought another book which it might be on my bookshelf over there but I'm not seeing it. Um. Was written for men and women which is a very like thick dense book on you know relationships now. Ah the the name of the book I read the first 1 I read of his is integral relationships and that was um. If you know, ken wilbur's work. He he's the guy who who you know really pushed forward Integral theory. So a lot of what this guy talks about it's a very intellectual approach to masculine feminine and and relationships. And he takes the integral approach which includes spiral dynamics and so spiral dynamics is basically a model for viewing stages of development of human development and consciousness and how we perceive the world and how we behave in the world. And really, it's a predictor of values and how those values can change over time and evolve over time and if your values are this today we can expect that your values when they change are going to change into this next thing and so 1 of the really cool things that this book did was it was showing how. The the ah men so we were talking earlier about being masculine and feminine is not necessarily gender specific. It's not men and women. However, historically men have been associated with being more masculine and women have been associated with being more feminminine. So in this book 1 of the things that he talks about is there. Are you familiar with spiral dynamics much almost not at all cool. So basically ah.

08:35.8

Max Shank

Um, almost not at all only from what you've told me.

08:44.4

mikebledsoe

All of society is going through a stage of development and Consciousness. So We all experience these stages of Consciousness development as individuals. So What it looks like when you're a baby all you care about is yourself is a very individualistic and then it's about the parents and the family. And the most important thing when you're a kid is that you're you're fed comfortable and you're taking shits and then you progress and you social things become more important and you progress and you. Just follow the rules because these are the rules and then 1 day you realize oh these rules are made up and they work for a specific amount of time but after amount of time I Want to become an individual I don't want to follow these rules anymore you know and everyone goes to this little bit of a rebellious stage.

09:37.1

Max Shank

A.

09:39.0

mikebledsoe

And then they become more about the collective the we and then ah after be after day like max out and they get tired of being an individual they go well how can we work together and then after that there's there's other stages of of development and so when. People who look at this what they say about society as a whole especially we could say look at America specifically it's in a phase of moving from orange to greens so that is from a very individualistic capitalist type of mindset into more of a. A we type of of place where it's more of a collective mentality and there's a lot more self-sacrifice when we're in the we whereas when we're in the eye an individual It's less self- sacrificerifice more self-serving and more self-expression. Not caring what other people think about my expression whereas when you get into the we. It's more about Belonging. You don't want to stand out too much. You want to blend in and so what a lot of these people are saying is we're moving into this we um and. The the average american like there's enough people, especially the people we hang out with are you know they're in a personal development. They've been actually consciously choosing to develop and so what you end up with is as men go into this green phase of more of ah carrying. By the way if I were to look at both you and I we've we've gone beyond the green meme that that the hippie ah we stage and have been able to integrate all of it. Ah, but what he talks about in this book is when men go into this. And to the green stage the we collective all that kind of stuff they end up becoming much more feminine like they they adopt a lot of feminine traits and 1 of the reasons is because when someone moves into the the we stage into that green meme when they look back on the previous stages of development. They look at it with disgust and so it's typical for a man to get into this phase look at his previous stages of development see it in disgust and want to to not have anything and do with it and then um in culture. A lot of times those traits are associated with being masculine so they they want to throw off what they were before and a lot ah spirituality becomes an important topic for these people a lot of times when they hit the green stage and if you look at the spiritual communities and you look at.

12:22.7

mikebledsoe

Like like if you look at immature spiritual communities. You'll find a lot of men who lack masculinity and have taken on being feminine and so ah, these. Men are way more nurturing way more compassionate all these things we've we've all witnessed that and then for the women when they hit the stage of development. They they hit a stage of development. Ah the independent stage they actually cross over from being feminine to Masculine. At a stage previous to the men so it actually throws off society and so 1 of the things that he notes in the book which is interesting is that ah that when when men and women are in the stage. They're never going to be able to stay in a relationship very long. So if you look at our culture as a whole It seems like there's ah it's hard to stay in a relationship longer than a year and a year and a half and after that there's there's some friction in the relationship and then it and then it dissipates and so. That's that's extremely common and people stay single longer until they hit a certain stage of development because this is where we're at in society so women cross over into this very independent masculine traits when they hit that independence phase and throughout the green phase of development and. Women in that in those phases look at men who are ah in a stage of development under them with with like they're they're just children. They're not interested in that and then the 1 that is at the equal stage of development that green meme that those men discuss them. Because ah, the polarity is flipped and whereas they may be able to start a relationship with those men. They're not going to be satisfied over the long term and so ah in the Book. What he talks about is then after the green meme people move into. Ah so ah. Like a tier 2 consciousness and this tier 2 consciousness is when you get to integrate everything from before and when you do that when you look at you know when you accept the the we I care about the earth the planet everybody I also accept the independent me the 1 that wants to achieve and compete. Also accept the the tradition and what got us here and maybe even look at religion differently and look at warriors differently like seeing a place for all these There's always a place for tradition. There's a place for being a warrior. There's a place for independence and achievement. There's a place for.

15:04.3

mikebledsoe

We in the collective and so um, in this place when someone gets to this tier 2 consciousness and they've integrated all that their ability to be flexible between the masculine and the feminine becomes way more possible. And it can be flexible from moment to Moment. So Um I Forget why I explained all that but I imagine it could be helpful.

15:33.0

Max Shank

I Mean it sounds like it's quite complex. Not necessarily complicated but complex I Always think of that journey as like ah me we all I just call it me. We all and you go from me to we to all.

15:45.9

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

15:51.6

Max Shank

And everybody goes through that at different times if you look at different cultures I think of asian cultures specifically where the last name is spoken First you would be blood. So mike I would be shankoax and I think that. Dedication to the legacy of the family puts them more in that perspective from the very outset so that culture really breeds that concept of legacy right.

16:25.0

mikebledsoe

Well, there was um, there's legacy. But then there's also ah I know about um what I've learned about the South korean my buddy lived there for a while and he said that everybody always knows where they're at in the pecking order in the room and it's by age and if you're the youngest 1

16:39.1

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

16:44.7

mikebledsoe

Ah, like everyone is aware of where they're at in the pecking order at all times and they know if someone should be serving them or if they should be serving somebody. So if someone's older they're serving them So there's this constant awareness and vigilance in a culture about.

16:47.6

Max Shank

Yeah.

17:00.8

mikebledsoe

And who everybody else is and who they are in that context whereas here. That's ah, that's not so common.

17:09.0

Max Shank

It's sort of debatable where you are in the hierarchy for most people and I think that's also what makes cooperation so difficult. That's why that's why a well-trained military with a hierarchy is going to beat down a band of nomads where nobody's really in charge.

17:25.0

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

17:26.9

Max Shank

Right? So that that understanding of hierarchy is crazy valuable and 1 of the things that you said that I really resonated with was the fluidity and I'm not talking about gender fluid. But I'm talking about the being able to change between masculine. And feminine traits and if you're not able to do that. You're not really going to be able to succeed in every part of life. You might be able to succeed in some parts of life but you won't really be expressing your ultimate manifestation. Of what you can be if you're not balancing the 2 and that's why that yin and yang symbol has that dynamism to it that spiraling of the light and the dark you know spinning around chasing each other basically and.

18:17.9

mikebledsoe

Yeah I mean when you look at the graphic when you look at the symbol it. It appears to be still. But if you let it move over time. Yeah, it's something spiraling.

18:30.2

Max Shank

Yeah, it's ah it's a dynamic ability to alternate between masculine and feminine and you know if you read ah art of seduction by Robert Green which is a gigantic book. But it's really good you you see all the.

18:43.8

mikebledsoe

Good book.

18:48.7

Max Shank

Um, you know the casan novas which I think I think that means catch a new 1 casa nova catch catch a new 1 at least it sounds like it. Ah I haven't been I've been able I haven't been able to find a confirmation but casa means catch in spanish and.

18:55.6

mikebledsoe

Ah.

19:08.6

Max Shank

Nueva means New So That's kind of funny Anyway. So ah, seduction is about balancing those masculine and feminine traits and seduction is actually a very so it's active right? seduction. So It's masculine. But. The actions are very Feminine. You know Femininity is about being like an attractor even the egg right is secreting these ah pheromones basically or hormones I guess for the sperm to find their way. Up to the egg and it's such a. It's such a wildly different process and um, most.

19:50.6

mikebledsoe

And anyone who's in a relationship will recognize. There are times of the cycle in which you're more attracted to your woman if you're a man than others and a lot of that it has to do with what's happening with that egg. So.

19:58.0

Max Shank

Ah.

20:04.3

Max Shank

Well and if you just look at the structure of the 2 objects right? You have the egg which is this glorious little sphere wrapped in all this ah nutrition stuff in this little. And this little River getting carried along by Celia down the Fallopian tube. It's this very like elegant single unit and then on the male side. It's like a squadron of Jet Fighters like up to 500 million of them. All trying to basically seek and ah impregnate that same Target. So Just that experience itself says so much about the difference between masculinity and femininity.

20:58.6

mikebledsoe

I Want to point out that some people may be listening to this and go hang on you just switch from from masculine and feminine conversation to male female. Um, and ah the what? what? What? um.

21:14.7

Max Shank

Don't don't Misunderstand I'm set I'm saying the action is masculine. It just happens to be attached to the male.

21:17.2

mikebledsoe

What I want What? what? what? I want to point out the action is masculine. Well I would say I would say a lot of what we Ah what we see as masculine has biological.

21:35.8

Max Shank

For yeah.

21:36.1

mikebledsoe

Manifestations masculinity manifests physically in certain ways and being feminine manifests in certain ways. 1 is you're talking about sperm and egg. But also the penis and the vagina 1 is penetrating and giving and 1 is receiving.

21:51.1

Max Shank

Um, exactly and it's it's different with different animals.

21:54.5

mikebledsoe

So there's I think a lot of people want to separate out and and 1 ah hundred percent separate biology and and and I guess what we call it gender and.

22:06.7

Max Shank

Well I mean gender and Masculinity or femininity are totally different things and that's that's why I bring up that point like if you want to be a good seducer. Fellas. You need to actively. Matt young. Do some feminine things to maximize your seduction capabilities right? Ah and you know you look at the Animal kingdom. It's almost always the male with the pretty feathers.

22:27.9

mikebledsoe

Um, your attraction.

22:43.9

Max Shank

Like look at the peacock. For example, like he's just you know So what's more flamboyant than a peacock. It's just ridiculous. So it's all trying to um you know, show off, they're pretty colors and then with humans. It's.

22:52.1

mikebledsoe

E.

23:03.6

Max Shank

It's kind of the opposite. The ladies are showing themselves as sexy and the guys by Ferraris and mansions to show that they can provide So it's just a different kind of like I just call it peacocking essentially men and women are always.

23:17.7

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

23:22.6

Max Shank

Peacocking and pee henning and the reality is we just we just repeat what we think? Ah, what we think works like I would say if if there was no um, incentive for a man to be. Like financially successful like almost no man would do it. They would just live um like if it didn't matter how well off they were in terms of their ability to get ladies because that's what we love the most as men. We love ladies. But.

23:56.2

mikebledsoe

Whole world revolves around it.

23:58.5

Max Shank

We Yeah, it's like how do I get in there like that right exact like we would all just live in like fraternity houses and everybody would pay like.

24:03.3

mikebledsoe

I got I I go I go ah hunting So I can provide for her me. Yeah.

24:16.0

Max Shank

Ah, hundred dollars a month in rent and there would be pizza all the time like it would it would be like total debauchery nobody would try that hard to ah do all these crazy things if it didn't have a serious benefit to getting ladies and. When you realize that it's kind of shocking like the lengths that we go to to do that.

24:42.4

mikebledsoe

I've had this conversation with many women where where um, we'll be they'll be talking about. You know how men are in Charge. You know they'll be complaining about something and I look at him like are you insane women have been in charge the whole time. And they're go. They're going. What do you mean is like the it's like every and yeah, y'all are the reason we do everything like like we build we build companies because of you we.

25:05.3

Max Shank

Wars have been fought and Empires have fallen over women.

25:17.4

mikebledsoe

Do this and that everything we do is is for you like you're You're very powerful I've I've had this conversation with many women and and we go back and forth and they realize that they they have some realizations with that. So it's that they.

25:35.3

Max Shank

But that's their job.

25:37.2

mikebledsoe

There There have been a lot of people that say that like ah the women are responsible for the development of consciousness because it went from who could be the the biggest brute in order to get women to intelligence became more important for the purpose protection and for. Ah, production and so men we as men recognize oh we need to advance our intellect and our ability to make money and this and that to serve for women so that requires us to have more intelligence and so that's driving.

25:58.6

Max Shank

Yep.

26:15.2

mikebledsoe

Us as well. So I think that even though there are ah unhealthy expressions men men are a lot of times confused about how to get women and I think that's what creates upset and and causes Wars and all this kind of stuff.

26:33.9

Max Shank

Yeah, and up.

26:34.8

mikebledsoe

Um, because they're confused about what women actually want and the more men can they can figure out what they want what women actually want. They probably have a lot more peace and just you know more production. Actually yeah yeah, well.

26:47.8

Max Shank

Wouldn't it be crazy if we just asked women what they wanted. It's weird. It's it's funny though because that's that's a feminine job is to be Judgmental now I can already hear. Ah, the like grinding of gears and all the lady brains who just heard that but it's actually a very important role like you have to determine if our feathers are pretty enough if we have like a nice enough nest or whatever. So I'm not surprised that. Women are more judgmental and that has its positive qualities and its negative qualities like how many men judge other men based on the clothes they wear. It doesn't really happen right? Yeah, mostly just right? exactly. So.

27:34.9

mikebledsoe

Mostly just the feminine men.

27:42.9

Max Shank

It's important to have that discernment which is a nicer way of saying judgmental and we have all these trigger words that make people really really upset and I think that's a huge detriment because it limits our ability to have clear communication.

27:47.4

mikebledsoe

E.

28:01.7

Max Shank

And use simple language.

28:03.0

mikebledsoe

Yeah I want I want to dig into hierarchy because you you did you used the word earlier I meant I mentioned being paternal maternal. You know I think people start thinking about. We just talked about.

28:14.3

Max Shank

Ah.

28:20.3

mikebledsoe

Ah, how women are really in charge and and they there's this conversation that's been circling society for the last decade about patriarchy and so and I've got a disclaimer for this real quick. My girlfriend's a psychotherapist from the Bay I ah I have had this conversation with with someone who is has been steeped in like feminism femininism femininism feminism. Ah so it's. Um, it's it's something I think for us talk about what's what are you laughing about my ability to say it. Ah.

29:04.4

Max Shank

Just because it's part of how we make things so extra complicated right? The the words that we use words really should just be there to.

29:14.7

mikebledsoe

What's that Oh yeah.

29:22.0

Max Shank

Make the communication have greater precision not to like obscure the facts of life and I think that unfortunately what happens is 1 way to get like 1 up over on somebody else which is like power in the hierarchy is to.

29:27.1

mikebledsoe

Yeah, my.

29:41.7

Max Shank

Um, camouflage What you're really saying and to hide the reality with language and that's kind of goes back to our um, previous statement about it. Went from who has the big stick in the big muscles to who can tell the best story.

29:45.6

mikebledsoe

In.

29:59.5

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

30:01.6

Max Shank

And who can use language to get the job done and I think that's kind of what's happening right now with the you know the assault on the patriarchy because all these ideas are they have an intended goal and. It sort of has to go against nature when you create these new stories. The whole reason is like you're sort of going against what would naturally happen in these roles and if you come up with a good assault on a certain ideology. Whether it's true or not ah doesn't really matter like here's an example of what I'm talking About. We need to search. Everybody's phone so we can catch the pedophiles now I think the word pedophile is the fucking scariest front page word. There could possibly be and I just want ah you to think about So It's totally wrong for people people to be able to search our phones right? But if you come up with an emotional enough argument for that like okay.

31:08.8

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

31:18.8

Max Shank

Raping Kids has got to be the worst thing there is right? So How do you say that? the church is 1 hundred percent bad. Well they you know, raped these kids now I think teachers by sheer numbers rape or fuck more kids than priests do. But. And maybe doesn't make as good a headline I don't know Anyway, my point is this if there's if there Well what I'm saying is it's all about the story so you bring up that comment about like the patriarchy and femininity and feminism and.

31:39.6

mikebledsoe

I Love This is our topic now.

31:52.7

mikebledsoe

Which is feminism and feminity are are different things and that's worth talking about too.

31:55.3

Max Shank

It's totally different things like I mean we could try to. We could come up with a nice clear definition of feminism. But I think saying that men are worse or women are worse is ridiculous like. That that doesn't get us anywhere just the same way that saying oh well, you know because of this horrible thing we need to do an even more horrible thing. So. It's just like using a story to justify why it's okay.

32:28.0

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think it's a good foundation for for moving forward. Um, well,, there's the the story of patriarchy is that men are in charge and men have been in charge and I've been making all the decisions and you can tell because they're primarily the ones that are in office. Political office. They're the ones that are running the companies. They're the ones that are you know all these things like they're they're in positions of quote unquote power and women ah have traditionally been at home and ah.

32:47.2

Max Shank

M.

33:03.8

mikebledsoe

There has been a story told that there is no power in that position that there that the men are actually powerful and and the women are not when they're ah playing out the traditional gender roles and ah. When I remember having this conversation with 1 of my buddies danny and he was talking about how he was growing up and how his his dad was was largely absent. He would just come in and out he was dating all these different women and he grew up and i. Ah, home full of it was women the grandmother the mother the the ants and everything it was a highly matriarchal home he was he was brought up. He was raised by women. He was not raised by men and he. You know it hit him 1 day goes is like oh I was like raised in a matriarchy so at ah at the family level if you look if we're looking at traditional gender roles at the family level. The woman carries most of the power she spends most of the money she makes most the purchases. She chooses the food you're going to eat that the activities the kids are going to do the the father is usually so ah busy needing to make money to provide all the things. That the the family needs and wants and maybe what he wants for them. But also what the woman wants for the family and the kids but she's women are if we're looking at traditional gender roles are largely dictating the development of children and to me there's nothing more powerful than that i. Don't care who's running the businesses or running the countries and things like that. That's that's illusory in a way people men are being um so there's when I look at feminism complaining about patriarchy what I what I witness. Is that there is a feminist is somebody who says that the traits of men are more valuable than the traits of women and in order for men and women to be equal. Women need to be able to have all the traits they desire that that men typically fulfill and and for instance you know, like equal pay for for jobs and and being able to be ceo as a company and congresswomen and the president of the United states and all that stuff.

35:46.7

mikebledsoe

Which I have no opposition to whatsoever I Think that's I think that's great if women want to do that Then that's that's a great place to be. Yeah, it is already possible. So but it it.

35:54.4

Max Shank

That's already possible though. It's just about the blame game really like it's already possible for any man or any woman to make any amount of money as long as they deliver the value there is. Ah, the only privilege there really is is who your parents are and who you know because if my good friend. Ah if I'm the president and my good friend who is a woman wants a job. She's going to get a job even if there's a dude who's probably more qualified. Because that's how the world works you want people that you know and trust maybe even more generally than who is the best 1 for the job but the key with all those points is like who polices that ah concept of of fairness right? So it. All those arguments to me just make no sense because it goes completely against ah that whole Martin luther king idea of you know it's more about what you have on the inside than what you are on the outside and anything that divides people up, you know. Especially male and female like how is there going to be the the idea is we should communicate and figure out who naturally likes to do what and I think that's why you have certain relationships that work where there's a man. Who doesn't earn as much as the woman but he's a more ah nurturing type and she's more of a power type and that doesn't happen all the time but it happens sometime sometimes so I think it's more about finding someone who's a good match for your particular dna. Rather than for this like blanket statement that like men bad women good or or vice versa.

37:50.6

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and the roles that they typically play you know, being better than other roles I I think about roles versus hierarchy. Um, and so I mean this is what I've been circling a bit in that. Ah, there has.

37:58.2

Max Shank

Ah.

38:08.1

mikebledsoe

When I look at say the feminist movement. There's this, they're saying that that career is the more important thing and.

38:14.7

Max Shank

We should just let him have all the jobs and stay at home for a few generations like I want to I want to do it like lions where there's like a male lion and he's just like lounging around and the ladies are like we're going to go hunting again. Do you want to come. He's like no no no I got to protect the pride. And the lady's like yeah you got to protect the group of lions from all of the crazy predators that are going to attack us right? He's like yeah pick me up some zebra if you can I'm going to be here resting up for when it's mating time just wake me up when you get back.

38:46.1

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm into it. Um, but but I just want to bring up like ah because there's this importance put on career if it over say family. Whatever, Ah then ah, there's this I think there's this confusion that that hierarchy like having a career is better like making more money is actually better that doesn't make you better or higher up on the rung um than if you're at home. Raising children for instance, like there's to me what I What I witness is like an even partnership between people. But there's been a ah story. That's been has been painted that the man is and you know he's the 1 that's in charge and if we look at.

39:26.8

Max Shank

Well.

39:32.7

Max Shank

Right.

39:40.4

Max Shank

Um, well merit a merit.

39:44.1

mikebledsoe

Masculine Feminine traits like we look at the sorry the paternal it is painting a picture of the future for them to live into and and the mother may be in that that role may be the more accepting and and nurturing of what already is it may appear as though there is a. There is this the man is Leading. He's leading in certain areas of the relationship and and of the family but the woman is also leading in certain areas and these areas are not necessarily more important than the other areas and I think that our society has gotten confused about that. Yeah.

40:13.9

Max Shank

Yeah,, that's the yeah, That's the crazy part because a marriage is really a business partnership marriage has nothing to do with Love it has to do with a business arrangement like we are going to now enter into this business agreement where. Our mission is to either like reproduce or at least work together to handle this family enterprise and it's kind of like saying that the Chief ah marketing officer is more important than the Chief Financial officer.

40:49.4

mikebledsoe

Right? right.

40:51.0

Max Shank

Right? Yeah, the chief marketing officer is out there making all the money and you know he's out there and he's like you know wheeling and dealing and he knows all these people and then the cfo is sitting in an office and saying to the Chief marketing officer. No you idiot we can't afford that. Right? That's what cf is supposed to do I think and so right exactly and you know if you're if you're on your own you probably need to have ah some of both of those traits but it's ridiculous.

41:09.0

mikebledsoe

Ah, that's ah, that's what the good cfos I've had have done for me. Yeah yeah.

41:25.7

Max Shank

To say that 1 is more important than the other right? um and look. It's only true in like 99 percent of animals that the females are the nurturing ones and just from my firsthand experience. Ah.

41:28.6

mikebledsoe

You know.

41:45.2

Max Shank

Women are way more nurturing way more like who could even argue that that's great. Ah, there are a few examples where the male does the nurturing you know what? a casso area is. It's like that.

41:58.3

mikebledsoe

No.

42:03.1

Max Shank

Blue faced dinosaur bird with the little thing on top. It's about the size of an ostrich. It's like the second largest bird. Yeah, they're gnarly they have these claws anyway like usual, the females are about twenty five percent bigger and the females.

42:06.5

mikebledsoe

Now a fart.

42:22.7

Max Shank

Go around and mate with as many males as possible and then the male sits on the nest and raises the kids and what's and what's crazy is when the female. Well.

42:29.6

mikebledsoe

So They get all the sex and then the responsibility. We were born the wrong species.

42:41.6

Max Shank

I still think I'd rather be a lion that seems the best ah but what's crazy also is she makes literally all the decisions even like whether it's mating time or not like I saw this crazy documentary where the female comes back. To the same male as before and goes it's mating time so you're going to have to let that little kid go because he's got 1 baby left that he is literally nurturing right? and it's her baby and she's like ah. No, no, no, it's it's mating time now you got to let that kid go and look for some new eggs and he's like no and she's like yes and so of course he just does so he like abandons this kid that he has been nurturing and then ah you know has sex with the Bertha big bertha and then just sits on another pile of eggs because she said so I mean that's rare is my point. It's rare that the male is the 1 who nurtures and I think with. Because we're mostly talking about people I got a million examples about animal facts but it like can't we just use a little bit of common sense and admit what we like and what we don't like you know the reason that women don't get into. Um you know. Some of the scientific fields as much and engineering is probably they just don't like to is that okay to say I mean I don't know possibly I mean culture has a lot to do culture culture has a lot to do with it too. I mean I think it goes.

44:19.0

mikebledsoe

Possibly Yeah I don't know I haven't haven't run the survey.

44:29.8

Max Shank

Even deeper. It's like what is rewarded is repeated so what? Ah Monkey see Monkey do what is rewarded is repeated. These are like very simple fundamental realities of how we become the people that we are and rather than like.

44:32.6

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

44:49.6

Max Shank

Blame 1 gender or the other It's like if we look into the past with any kind of like magnifying Glass. We're going to see a lot of very evil shit. We'll see a lot of good things too. But we'll see a lot of very evil things too. It's like oh man. See what's so crazy is I think of things and then I'm like I can't say that because everyone will hate me but didn't We have a hashtag Once that said, believe all women wasn't that a thing for a while about about the me too thing now I've never known a woman to lie.

45:18.1

mikebledsoe

I Think so yeah, oh yeah.

45:26.0

Max Shank

Ever. But but believe all women I mean come on like that any any of these like divisive things are just compounding compounding compounding the problem. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

45:34.3

mikebledsoe

Or yeah, the absolutes It's like this is an absolute thing. It's like this is always you know that the absolutes are always never anytime anyone starts using absolute language fucking red flag just start going up and what but yeah, you've bought into a story and it's.

45:46.5

Max Shank

Ah, oh my god yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, all all this divisive stuff like we're we're human beings first and foremost like if we can't if we can't like get together on that front.

45:54.3

mikebledsoe

You're full of shit. Ah.

46:06.2

Max Shank

Then all of these other arguments are taking us further and further away from the truth. Basically I don't think any progress can be made when we try to blame black people or white people or men or women or gays Or. Catholics I don't know why I've grouped those 2 together but you get the idea like it. It just is wrong to do that.

46:31.5

mikebledsoe

Yeah anytime I mean we talked about this before the the victim villain hero the the Drama triangle. Yeah anytime that starts coming into play it it create creates division and what it really I think.

46:37.0

Max Shank

Right.

46:48.1

mikebledsoe

Instead of division I think a better word for this and what's more accurate is conflict. It creates conflict like yeah division but division without division. Ah you won't get conflict if everyone's together and unified that reduces the conflict.

46:52.3

Max Shank

Oh yeah.

47:03.8

Max Shank

Um, right.

47:05.7

mikebledsoe

But when someone thinks that they're different than somebody else when they believe that thought that max is you know he's doing me wrong in some way because yes because he has something and I don't then you know that that doesn't It's not any good for Me. And how I may end up treating you because I believe that's not good for you and then that that creates conflict and even if you never receive in the impact of that the person who believes that someone else has an advantage over them. They're the ones that suffer the most from that belief.

47:39.3

Max Shank

Totally it's us and them mentality. It's like ah you know, eat eat the rich basically kind of thing I mean it takes ah it takes no subtleties or nuance into consideration and that's 1 of the big. Um.

47:48.0

mikebledsoe

I.

47:59.1

Max Shank

Growing pains that we're having right now because what catches the most attention is something that's like under 10 words and super inflammatory. So if you don't look at the big picture and be like well you know? Ah yeah I I can't say the picture in 10 words but you get the idea is.

48:15.1

mikebledsoe

Um, well I think I think the ah like language is is the language is people's thoughts what they say is what they're thinking. There's a lot of things that they don't say that they're.

48:17.4

Max Shank

You just become at odds.

48:34.7

mikebledsoe

Thinking. But if you reduce the vocabulary or if you reduce the amount of of words that are being used then you start removing Nuance and when you start removing Nuance it. It actually starts. Killing people's ability to critically think as a whole. So if you have the same narrative going all the time or it's just headlines and people aren't Discussing. You're not allowed to or it's not popular to discuss Nuance You can tell who's not thinking critically because they're not.

49:07.0

Max Shank

No.

49:12.1

mikebledsoe

And a nuanced conversation If you're entering into a nuanced conversation where we're getting a good understanding on what things are recognizing. It's not absolute.. It's not black and white. There's ah and it's not even gray. It's just everything is ah this unique. Ah. Thing that we get to discuss and we really want to discuss and understand all sides of it and semantics matter here as well. And so I think that like when we look at any of these things that causes conflict We have all these people that that are making groups of people. And then creating absolutes about those groups of people and leaving out any nuance and um, you know I hate to use the word brainwashing because I think brainwashing is is actually you know if if we took it literally to to wash the mind would be a good thing is to get rid of some garbage.

50:04.6

Max Shank

Well, it can be. It can be good or it could be horrible. It depends on what you put after.

50:08.4

mikebledsoe

But the but what we see here is just like it's ah it's a dampening of consciousness when you start when if you lack nuance and you reduce the vocabulary the book nineteen eighty four by george orwell 1 of the things that was a common. Ah.

50:21.0

Max Shank

Ah.

50:26.4

mikebledsoe

and and george r wells a fucking genius and understood language deeply and 1 of the things that was part of the book was that there was I think it was on the they were on the ninth edition of the special dictionary that the the people were to use and that culture and each book got smaller.

50:40.8

Max Shank

The.

50:46.4

mikebledsoe

Each dictionary had fewer words and words started to be outlawed. Oh you can't say that it's replaced with this or instead of saying and and everything just got shorter and shorter and shorter because people who have the inability to because what you're able to.

50:47.2

Max Shank

Ah.

51:06.0

mikebledsoe

Process becomes diminished when you when you don't have as good a use of language and you start missing nuance because this word means twenty different things instead of just this 1 thing and it's um, when people are confused. They're easy to control. And it's It's a very interesting thing to witness right now with with the division conflict and the absolute language being used and the inability of certain things or people to be able to use certain language or even discuss certain topics. It's.. It's a very sad state of affairs.

51:44.2

Max Shank

Well controlling language is controlling thought and you have censorship through self censorship which is basically through the the collective will shame you and then you have actual censorship where ah, you are legally not allowed.

51:54.5

mikebledsoe

So and.

52:02.0

mikebledsoe

Aka Fact checkers.

52:03.9

Max Shank

It legally not allowed to say something or ah, even beyond that where you speak up and you suddenly have committed suicide or you become suicided and the ministry of truth. Yeah, totally.

52:15.2

mikebledsoe

You're suicided. Well we I think we should just call. Ah the fact checkers the ministry of of truth or yeah.

52:23.1

Max Shank

Well Ah, what's that saying who will police the police even Thomas Sowell has a saying ah the the big question is not what will we do? It is who will decide what we do and that and that's that's a core question and the answer should be.

52:34.8

mikebledsoe

Um, like.

52:43.1

Max Shank

The individual 99 percent of the time. But if you convince the individual that they're not capable of making that decision then they will hand it off to somebody else and that's where like I just have this image in my brain It's a video of Mussolini saying. Ah. 1 country 1 decision and this huge crowd goes. Yeah like they are so excited they're they're they're like they're more like rocking and rolling than ah I don't know. Ah, foo fighters concert or something like that. They're just like going bananas I've never been to a foodo fighters' concert that was the only thing I could think of I'm like they're popular right? shows you? how much I know? Ah, but they were excited about 1 country 1 decision and.

53:24.6

mikebledsoe

I.

53:35.0

Max Shank

In order to get to that point you have to make those individuals believe that the result would in fact, be better and you can even take that idea back to slavery so you know terrorism is using fear to control people right. And the greatest terror organization I know of is our own media because they literally emit the most fear and control the most minds. Ah I don't I don't think ah any of those like Arabian fellows have even like come close scratch the surface. On their terrorism compared to the you know media here. But anyway so you use fear to control so you use fear to control people and think about Slavery. For example, you know I've heard some people ask the question. Well why didn't they just fight back. And it's because the thing that we all want most is to not die. That's so deeply primal and you would think like slavery slavery would be impossible if everybody just stopped working and would ah like fight back. But of course that didn't happen.

54:37.5

mikebledsoe

A.

54:52.4

Max Shank

Because a intellectually they didn't see that as a viable option and that's where the brainwashing comes into play because Slavery is a lot about definition. So if you are told that story of slavery and you believe that it's possible and I'm not just talking about slavery in the usa I'm saying. You know slavery throughout the history of mankind. It's almost every people have been enslaved.

55:18.7

mikebledsoe

There's usually more slaves than there are masters. That's basically how it works.

55:21.0

Max Shank

Yeah way more?? Um, and it it all has to do with the the fear of death right? or maybe because we're such compassionate creatures. You know we're afraid of them killing someone else like I say hey Mike you better. Get back to your slave labor I'm going to kill your lady friend over here and you're like okay, fine master I Will you know submit to you or whatever. But it's it's fascinating how the fear of death and the language- driven ideas are really what. Enable slavery as a whole and there are different. There are different types like some people are just slaves to their telephone right now they believe whatever comes out of their telephone. They check it all the time they're constantly plugged in and that's another thing that makes it difficult to think clearly. Is that you've now built up this addiction which is a you know form of enslavement. Basically where ah it's kind of unprecedented to have the world in your pocket all the time talking at you.

56:31.5

mikebledsoe

Yeah I spend the first four hours at least sometimes the entire day the first four hours not consuming any any content any media because it's um.

56:45.5

Max Shank

That's really smart.

56:49.9

mikebledsoe

There's so much for me to create and to consider and to be with that I don't need any outside information to pollute my mind I I wait till the second half of the day to really engage with other people's agendas.

57:02.7

Max Shank

Ah.

57:08.6

Max Shank

Um.

57:09.0

mikebledsoe

What they want me to do ah you know that means checking my email. Maybe even checking text messages. Ah, you know there's there's a lot of things that I just that that that habit and really recognizing at first was I want to be on my own agenda and I stopped checking my email.

57:25.1

Max Shank

Ah, the.

57:27.9

mikebledsoe

First thing of the day really really set the dominoes up to be at a place where like I'm not listening to music with lyrics in the morning I I am going to journal I'm going to be alone with my thoughts I'm going to write um and it's ah. It's created a lot more peace in my life I've become much more effective so you know for anyone who's listening a great tip that I'm um, bestowing on you now is ah 1 way to brainwash yourself in in a positive way is to spend more time with. Your own thoughts and writing them down and actually seeing if they're your own thoughts or not ah usually not and if you do that long enough. What's being put out in the media and what's being said by a lot of people you know people at large when I go out and talk to people. I can smell bullshit so much faster than when I was younger and I think it is because of the amount of time I've spent reflection and recognizing that most of my own thoughts are bullshit and you know if most of my thoughts are bullshit and I try hard to to know the truth. Then the majority of other people's thoughts are bullshit too. They're not better than you people people are generally just full of shit.

58:51.0

Max Shank

Yeah I mean that is such a valuable piece of advice that probably ninety percent of people will completely ignore and just move on to the next thing. Ah. It's difficult though because there's this hunger. There's this feeling like I need to learn more I need to know more and I just remember I was on a panel at a seminar and everyone's like what's ah, what's a Book. You would recommend. And so I'm up there with like maybe 10 or twelve presenters from this weekend of things and you know everyone's got their examples I'm like oh yeah I like that. But and I'm like near the end of the line right? and like oh yeah I like that book too and then by the time it got to me I was like. Listen everybody you just paid like 7 hundred bucks so you could hear us synthesize everything we know for the exact thing you're trying to do the last thing you should do is buy another Book. You should spend the next ninety days and deliberately not read. Any other book and just implement what you learned because that's where most people mess up is in the doing what they know it's not that people don't know what to do? It's just that they don't do what they know and the same thing goes for the creation consumption ratio. Um, journal out your thoughts on your life journal out. Ah why you think certain things write out your your plan write out a strategy for getting more customers or for getting more clients or for wooing a few more ladies. I mean when you give yourself up to the consumer archetype then that's just what you are and that's okay, like being a consumer is really fun. It's a devil's bargain like I can hardly resist I'm a curious guy I'll just watch national geographic. And like bbc earth like all day if it were out and just eat casead ideas or something I don't know, but but but if you you know when I kind of like you if I don't eat in the morning and if I don't consume stuff. Something good will happen. You know you just have to give yourself that space and that's that's the yin side. That's the feminine side is the space to create and that silence and that's where you're going to find peace of mind and if you're hyper young, you're not goingnna.

01:01:20.5

mikebledsoe

Yeah, um.

01:01:26.3

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:01:36.8

Max Shank

You're not going to find that peace of mind you're going to be looking or oh I got to find the next thing I got to do the next thing and it's like probably not.

01:01:40.2

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well it takes a little bit of masculine energy to create boundaries and uphold those boundaries and being in that space is more of a feminine aspect if we won't.

01:01:49.6

Max Shank

Ah, well yeah, and if you are like most guys afraid that people will call you a homo if you do anything that is like closely resembling femininity then you're basically shooting yourself in the foot. To please people who probably don't even like you I mean is or don't care is is so ridiculous. But.

01:02:13.6

mikebledsoe

Ah, oh yeah, most people don't care about. They're not thinking about you as much as you think that they're thinking about you Well that your this is an anomaly.

01:02:19.7

Max Shank

I mean I think about you a lot.

01:02:27.1

Max Shank

Ah, it's it's very liberating to realize like no 1 ne's thinking about you. They're just thinking about their own life and the the sooner you can let go of the attachment to masculine or feminine and just.

01:02:33.0

mikebledsoe

I Got the hour shut.

01:02:46.2

Max Shank

Use both when it's appropriate. It's like what's the best tool a screwdriver or a socket wrench. It's a stupid question like what's the best gender male or female. It's a stupid question What's the best. Ah. Type masculine or feminine. So another stupid question. What's better lightness or darkness they're they're all really really dumb questions that shouldn't even cross your mind. You should just learn when to use which trait like when is it appropriate to be more masculine and. Stand your ground and be an aggressive monster because look I'm a pretty feminine guy actually most of the time because it's it's more fun I like talking to ladies and when it's time to be Masculine. You should be a devastating monster.

01:03:27.4

mikebledsoe

But yeah.

01:03:40.0

Max Shank

And you should lay waste to any barriers that might enter your path and if you get stuck in 1 or the other you just won't be as effective. So I that would.

01:03:48.6

mikebledsoe

Well I think I think that it builds capacity for if you want a more have more capacity or range or'll call it range if you want to have more range and your masculine if you want to be able to be very masculine if you're trying to redline your masculinity all the time.

01:03:56.5

Max Shank

Range.

01:04:08.4

mikebledsoe

You're going to blow an o ring right? But if you if you allow yourself be in that feminine place and retract you got expansion and contraction if you allow yourself to come out of that then when it's time to really lay waste as you said you actually have the energy to do it.

01:04:23.3

Max Shank

Um.

01:04:27.9

mikebledsoe

You actually can show up and do it because you've been you've been waiting for that. But the waiting is not a masculine thing. It's a feminine thing so I've I've noticed that in my own work I've become much more feminine over the years and that is there's a lot more relaxation a lot more waiting a lot more patience for. You know things to line up and I've had moments where it's time to do a lot of work. We go. Oh we got 3 weeks where we're gonna fucking put our heads down or I have a retreat and I've got my team there who they I just wear them out. Like how's this guy who's older and doing this and like how does he have so much energy. It's like oh it's because I was waiting I went covid hit I I had was like peak feminine for myself when covid hit and hits I go oh we're going to change some things in the business I'm glad I've been resting. I can I can really do a lot of work now and everyone who had been in their masculine the whole time leading up to that then they had like push harder into their masculine and they just didn't have the juice there.

01:05:22.2

Max Shank

E.

01:05:28.1

Max Shank

O. Yeah I think the range is key but I'm afraid people won't think I'm tough unless I'm masculine all the time.

01:05:36.6

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah I.

01:05:43.9

mikebledsoe

Yeah, just just so you guys know that's not going to get you laid I think we already covered the tough the tough guy ah podcast I think that's when 1 of our previous episodes I'm sure we'll cover it again. Any last word, you want to leave people with were.

01:05:55.6

Max Shank

Um, yeah, that's good stuff.

01:06:03.4

mikebledsoe

Over an hour now.

01:06:03.8

Max Shank

Ah, well just just look how many ways it can work in the animal Kingdom you know humans are just really weird animals I think the most important thing is you don't get caught up in. Your identity being based on whether you're a man or a lady and you recognize that masculinity and feminity are just our extensions of Yin and Yang and understand that there's an appropriate time to use both. When you're tired sleep when you're hungry eat. Um, when it's time to go hunting. Go be go be a monster and and do your hunt.

01:06:47.3

mikebledsoe

Beautiful. That's all I got I'm gonna leave it at that. Yep for max go to Maxank dot Com and what else what else you got just.

01:06:53.9

Max Shank

Sounds good. Thanks everybody.

01:07:03.2

Max Shank

Max shank I'm like the only 1 named that yeah just look me up.

01:07:05.0

mikebledsoe

Ah, search ma you are you are like the only 1 named that yep, find me on Instagram mike underscore Bloodso which Instagram's down today actually so we'll see maybe they all'll stay down dude I tried to get into Facebook earlier.

01:07:15.2

Max Shank

What are what are we gonna do I'm gonna start doing crack.

01:07:23.7

mikebledsoe

I think that's that next logical step. Yeah when Facebook goes down. Yeah, probably not ah so yeah and the strong coach for you coaches up there. That's all we got and until next time.

01:07:25.6

Max Shank

Might not be as destructive mentally.

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