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The Bledsoe Show

The show formerly known as "Bledsopia" On this podcast, you’ll learn from thought leaders who are dedicating their lives to being a positive force for your physical, psycho-emotional and spiritual health. Your host, Mike Bledsoe, seeker of truth & perpetual student, spotlights premier thought leaders in the fields of emotional & intellectual expansion, behavior change, sexuality & alternative medicine that empower you with the tools and inspiration to transform your mind, body, & spirit. Every week, this is your opportunity to get downloads from exceptional people that will guide you to the connections between your own source, to live your best life & enjoy the process.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Nov 29, 2021

00:00.44

mikebledsoe

I'm gonna try oh welcome to the max Mike or them. Oh no, no no oh I Totally screwed it up already do over do over. Okay, welcome to yeah I'll edit it. Yeah well.

00:03.90

Max Shank

That's how it works when you try. Okay, we got to do it over. We got to do it over just start start over fuck that wait wait wait. We're still recording though the whole time. Yo no, you won't just start the whole thing over.

00:19.65

mikebledsoe

I had it every time. Yeah.

00:20.97

Max Shank

Really oh, that's cool.

00:27.30

mikebledsoe

Ah, welcome to Mondays with mike and Max or if max is saying it. It's max and mike and today we're gonna be talking about learning. We want to teach you how to be a genius and you know. I would say that max and I are both geniuses at certain things I wouldn't say across the board but we have gotten really good at a few things apiece and ah and and things that we were not good at as children. So it's not 1 of those things where we just became good at it. Because you know our dad did it or anything like that. So we have both put a lot of attention into learning how to learn and that has taken us pretty far I would say most people would say that we're happier and more successful than the average guy.

01:20.13

Max Shank

Sound really happy right now. No I Guess we're probably just happier than the average person. That's good.

01:21.90

mikebledsoe

Our age Do I do I fuck I didn't think so.

01:30.80

mikebledsoe

Um, well I'm happier than I'm happier than ah I used to be I can say that. So um, um.

01:35.84

Max Shank

Happiness is a state of mind folks.

01:40.34

mikebledsoe

Ah, maybe um, but you can also learn to be happy. So yeah, holding a perspective and being able to stabilize that state. Yeah well.

01:45.13

Max Shank

Oh yeah, meditation is a state of mind too. Meditation is a state of mind you can practice that as well hundred percent.

01:58.13

mikebledsoe

1 thing that was brought to my attention when it comes to learning is there's a difference between accumulating facts and being able to regurgitate them or to be able to know how to do a certain thing and there's another. It's another thing to hold us. Ah. Hold a perspective so wholly that the knowledge that's necessary to make things happen or to have a conversation just comes with a lot of ease and it's more of ah, being able to stabilize that perspective but people who are into. Ah. Obtaining a lot of knowledge what they'll do is they'll they'll they'll tap into that perspective for a moment and then they'll slide back into their current perspective and then over time you accumulate enough Data Points. You can you can solidify that and then the conversation becomes very very easy when.

02:56.36

Max Shank

I Call it Toolbelt knowledge I say if you can access it immediately and you use it with some regularity then it's in the tool belt and then you have something That's maybe like toolbox knowledge. Where for example I speak.

02:56.37

mikebledsoe

Discussing a certain topic.

03:14.96

Max Shank

Ah, fluent Spanish but there are some words that I wouldn't be able to think of out of the blue. But if someone said it to me I would understand what they were saying and so I think that's more like in the tool like I I can't like you I don't use it all the time and there's been some deterioration.

03:25.16

mikebledsoe

What.

03:34.10

Max Shank

But I would understand it like I would know what you're talking about and so I just think of it like you have tool belt knowledge which is readily available and more importantly, you use it with some regularity because there's ah, there's a half -life or there's a shelf life I guess on. Information and if you don't use it. You lose it. That's a big thing for learn for learning.

03:54.66

mikebledsoe

Yeah I guess similar to the perspective conversation is if if it's it's looking through a specific lens and if you're looking through that lens regularly you're it's in use in it and it stabilizes if you're not looking through it regularly. It gets dirty.

04:13.95

Max Shank

Perspective is a huge thing. Um, it's hard to even say where to begin with something as important as perspective because perspective is a locale.. It's like are you zoomed in. Are you zoomed out. Are you looking into the past. Are you looking into the Future. What's the the tint on the lens you know that saying ah seeing the world with rose-colored glasses or through rose colored glasses and some people see the world as a ah, very dark and mean and nasty place and they see themselves. As ah, unlucky. For example, but that's just a matter of what you focus on and that whole comparison syndrome that we get into is really the only thing that colors how lucky we feel or don't feel. So. It's all what you compare it to because you can't define something in isolation you have to compare it to something else same with distance same with mass same with ah the way you live anything it all is what you compare it to.

05:23.80

mikebledsoe

Yeah, was they say the ah comparison is a thief of all joy I find it to be a bit easier to learn things when I'm happy um and can learn more than them. Ah, there's I remember looking at a study at 1 point that said that.

05:27.86

Max Shank

Um, I've heard that.

05:43.24

mikebledsoe

If you add play into what you're learning then you can learn up to 20 times faster. So.

05:50.62

Max Shank

Well play is 2 things you said recently play is the first form of training which is practicing which is learning. That's what animals do like big cats. Small cats too other predators they play. As their first form of killing. Basically so um, play is the first form of practice or training or learning if you want to call it that and then the other thing you were saying about being happy is for true learning to occur.

06:11.39

mikebledsoe

Um.

06:28.49

Max Shank

You need to be interested so you need to be curious and you need to be motivated. Um, you can learn something but you won't truly like learn it and own it if you're doing it just because you must like. For example, school and we could do a whole podcast. About how school is the most colossal misuse of time and abuse of children that I can think of but we'll skip that for another time my point is I mean look it's it's bad but we don't need to belabor the point. Ah yeah.

07:05.42

mikebledsoe

I'm in agreement by the way I'm not so the the listeners if I'm laughing because I I know where max is coming from not because I think he's ridiculous.

07:07.41

Max Shank

I'm not gonna change.

07:13.60

Max Shank

I mean I've taught people stuff in ah in a three day seminar that actually increase their income and their physical health. There's 3 days like that's not long and in 12 years they like don't remember what Sacajawea did they just know that that's a word fuck that shit.

07:20.71

mikebledsoe

Right? 3 days that.

07:30.63

mikebledsoe

And they're probably they're less healthy in no better position to make money.

07:31.45

Max Shank

Ridiculous.

07:35.16

Max Shank

Yeah, you sit in a desk for a really long time. You're like looking straight down. It's horrifically bad anyway, all all that. Ah, ah, torture of children aside the reason that people don't remember it is because a it's not in the tool belt because they're not using it. And b they're being coerced into doing it like you must remember this or you will fail and be Bad. It's like okay like I'll do it but I'm not going to not going to do as good a job I'm not going to be as excited and enthusiasm about it and enthusiasm. Comes from ah the root for being possessed by spirit possessed by the Muse. So enthusiasm is really the the energy. That's why you can see people who have very little knowledge actually. Be extremely successful because they're very enthusiastic about the little that they know.

08:34.94

mikebledsoe

Yeah I've been talking to my girlfriend about that a bit is she? ah.

08:49.37

mikebledsoe

Ah, Max is red with laughter. Ah now I've been talking about ah but well I noticed that there's a lot of people who make a lot of money in real estate. So we've been talking about getting more aggressive about.

08:52.81

Max Shank

Ah, ah.

09:06.81

mikebledsoe

Investing in real estate and I and it's ah it's a new I know a bit she knows a bit we need to get deeper into it if we want to be good at it. But I go I look at it I go I know a lot of people who invest in real estate or and have been very successful and they don't ah. Occur to me to be the most intelligent people on the planet. They're not.. They're not some type of Genius They they're they Found. They are some type of Genius They found a way to do something and they just repeat it and because that's what works in real estate you find.

09:27.28

Max Shank

And. They are some type of genius.

09:43.37

mikebledsoe

Find someone who's really successful in real estate and you'll you'll find that they they do 1 or 2 things and they just do it over and over and over and over again. It's it's a bit redundant, but it's also very exciting to watch your your personal wealth climb.

09:58.28

Max Shank

Yeah, and you can also lose your shirt in real estate. You can get totally burned by buying a property at the wrong time and not really predicting or preparing for an income decrease I'll just.

10:03.73

mikebledsoe

Here.

10:17.45

Max Shank

Just remember seeing this house in del mar near where I live and it was ah sold for 18 million a couple years later they put it on the market for 21 million and then I watched them progressively lower the price all the way down to 6 million.

10:36.24

mikebledsoe

Whoa.

10:37.16

Max Shank

So the value went from 18 million to 6 million and you know there were like all kinds of crashes and stuff going on but this was like on the bluffs like right by the beach in del mar probably that because there are 3 rules in real estate right? location location location this was a.

10:53.43

mikebledsoe

E.

10:57.13

Max Shank

Primo like Crown Jewel of real estate. It was massive had tennis court. Its right on the beach was ridiculous but they they got taken to the cleaners because they bought it the wrong time and they couldn't survive through the liquidity crisis. Basically like there's that saying that markets can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent which is kind of a good thing to keep in mind.

11:23.87

mikebledsoe

Yeah, Well I think ah great. That's a great point is that that's not likely an intelligence issue as much as it is um, ah, people in what I've seen with people who do make mistakes in investing is. They let their emotions take over and they're afraid that they have a fear of loss and then that's why or they're a fear of missing out or a fear of loss and which a fear of missing out is just fear of future loss and or potential loss and and.

11:59.32

Max Shank

Yeah I think go ahead.

12:03.54

mikebledsoe

And people they break their own rules like they have this rule around how to invest in real estate or they have a rule that they that's been passed down and if you follow those rules it 99 percent of time you probably can be fine. But then you see a spike in the market or you see a dip in the market and then you you freak out and you react or you you break your own rules or you break the rules of the people who taught you and that because of an emotional experience and that's when people that's what I see when people lose their shirt.

12:35.70

Max Shank

Well, it's risk reward right? if you concentrate your bet into 1 thing like let's say you put all of your money on Alibaba 15 years ago, you'd be like really really happy and if you put all your money in blockbuster Video. You'd be really really sad and if you diversified you wouldn't have returned as much as if you had concentrated all of your money into 1 big bet. But you're also limiting how much you can lose. So. I think with life and with investing the thing you want to understand is that it's usually pretty ah clear risk reward ratio and you want to try to aim for things that where you have 2 ways to win and no way to lose pretty much and there's another saying I like which is.

13:27.13

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

13:31.91

Max Shank

Why risk what you need for what you don't need and that's why you know you hear a story about someone you know, buying some unknown cryptocurrency and they like 10 X their money and then you're like feeling greedy yourself, you're feeling that fear of missing out. So you might catch it at the very top and then and then catch the falling knife as it goes down whereas they caught all the upside. So We we try to use the past to predict the future but it doesn't always go that Way. So if you.

13:55.77

mikebledsoe

Yep.

14:11.80

Max Shank

Plan for the fact that you will sometimes be wrong it. It works out. Okay.

14:19.70

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that's that's the point of anti- fragile the book by is it Nicholas taleeb nasim he he wrote black swan anti-fragile. There's a new 1 that came out that I want to on a read next. And yeah.

14:22.65

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

14:37.87

mikebledsoe

The whole concept. He's ah he's a great investor himself. Ah and his perspective on strategies for investing is pretty much saying you know shit will go wrong. So how are you set up for that whereas most people like.

14:51.59

Max Shank

Well.

14:56.10

mikebledsoe

You know they're watching the crypto markets right now and I mean I mean this applies to the learning conversation we get because if.

15:01.23

Max Shank

Yeah, you don't have to be smart to do well in investing like um isaac Newton famously said something along the lines of he could predict the movement of celestial bodies but not the madness of crowds and he like lost all of his money. Investing in the East india trading company he like got taken to the cleaners lost every I mean obviously a very intelligent fellow.

15:20.51

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, so.

15:26.90

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well well let's just take bitcoin for instance I've been paying attention to crypto markets since 20138 years which is over half the amount of time they've been in existence. So.

15:34.44

Max Shank

The.

15:44.18

mikebledsoe

I've been through some booms and buss already and what I know because I've been in it long enough is I go Yeah, just you buy a bunch and then you hold it and then you watch everything go up and down and watch everyone else freak out and then you just keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you take some off here and there. Um, there is a strategy for for when to take some out and but most people aren't playing that game. Well, that's the thing It is simple. It is very very simple. Ah, but when the people who who suffer and I've got many close friends who.

16:06.70

Max Shank

Make it sound so simple. You make it sound so simple.

16:23.40

mikebledsoe

The market starts going up and they start dumping money in or the market starts going down and they start pulling money out and I'm I'm going Whoa Whoa Whoa Just just chill the fuck out just consistently put money in consistently pull money Out. Don't you know. You're not going to.. You're not going to see the wave coming if because if you can see it then everyone else can see it and sometimes that does drive the market up a bit but again long term strategy I've had I've had really big returns from that that simplicity just.

16:55.86

Max Shank

So what you're saying is you are an investing genius.

17:01.39

mikebledsoe

Um, well are we gonna be playing comparison here. Ah you know what I'm in the 1 percent I'm in the 1 percent for crypto I'll say this I'm in the 1 percent of crypto trading. Ah when it comes to investing in general. No.

17:11.15

Max Shank

Um, okay oh that's good.

17:20.10

mikebledsoe

I'm I'm not I The crypto thing is huh How does what differ I Oh crypto trading versus investing versus.

17:20.98

Max Shank

How do they differ. How do they differ. Ah well I mean it's they're both and they're they're both investing I think the big mistake people make with investing Probably the biggest mistake is they invest money. That they might need soon.

17:41.00

mikebledsoe

Well,, there's that 1 and then they invest money in speculation versus Value. So 1 of my rules in investing is what value is being generated in the world by this product or by this service and So. Do I Find what they're creating to be valuable Tesla For instance, do I do I think that those cars hold out. Absolutely they're creating something valuable some of these cryptocurrencies that are you know a 2 page white paper and you know they just.

18:02.43

Max Shank

Ah.

18:18.76

mikebledsoe

Fleece everybody and they don't have any specific when I when I read about what the purpose of that cryptocurrency is and it doesn't make sense to me and it doesn't seem valuable to me I don't touch it. So.

18:30.82

Max Shank

Maybe that's lesson 2 of investing is invest in things that you understand.

18:35.35

mikebledsoe

Invest in things you understand, but ah I think invest in things you find valuable and Beyond beyond the dollar.

18:40.48

Max Shank

Well, that's not necessarily. Yeah I mean that's not I disagree because if you invest in something that's valuable at a price that is unreasonable then you still lose money on your investment.

18:56.13

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it's got to be worth the value that it's demanding.

18:59.64

Max Shank

And that's really hard to determine. You know you have price-to earnarings ratios you have identifying trends and there are all these ways that we try to get clear on what something will be worth later. Will it be worth more later and there are all kinds of things like.

19:13.19

mikebledsoe

You know.

19:17.89

Max Shank

There was a 20 year period where coca -cola returned a zero percent return to its investors and you'd think like man coca -cola is valuable. Their brand is worth billions by itself. But it it all depends on what you pay for and that's the same thing with real estate. Um, unless you are holding real estate for 50 years the profit is in the buying. Yeah.

19:40.61

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the deals made and or the the value is in. It's in the buying it's when you make the purchase. Um that that's for sure and that's ah, that's a big reason why and I haven't tried to touch anything in the last year is everything's so hot it is cooling off a bit. The markets are cooling off a bit but it's been so hot that and people are like you could better get in I'm going get into what I'm gonna get in at the peak. So I can come crash with the rest of you now.

20:07.53

Max Shank

The the Fomo the Fomo hard to know if it's the peak. That's the tricky thing about investing I mean there are a lot of ah big institutions buying lots of real estate right now and it's um.

20:17.98

mikebledsoe

M.

20:26.21

Max Shank

Apparently this is now an investing podcast. So if you're tuning in this is investing tips with max and Mike ah.

20:33.71

mikebledsoe

I Always try to stay away from investing tips too because.

20:36.89

Max Shank

Yeah, it's the worst like this is not a recommendation I think everyone listening should just go by tulip bulbs as many tulip bulbs as possible fill your garage with Tulip bulbs. That's the tricky thing about times like ah. Like what we're seeing right now is some things just go absolutely meteoric they go insanely high so fast and if you are investing in something more steady. Let's say like real estate perhaps usually more steady. Ah, you're getting blown out of the water by some kid who bought dog coins so in the short term. You're just getting absolutely murdered if you're really looking at value which is.

21:17.17

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

21:27.27

Max Shank

About Theio ah about the Price-to-arings ratio like what's the prospect. But also what's the priceturnings ratio Anyway, the whole point is if you are not going to take a lot of time to make investing your career. You probably are better off just buying the market overall and minimizing.

21:47.14

mikebledsoe

Yeah, which did really well this last year but I mean if we adjust for inflation and a few other things probably just did okay.

21:47.20

Max Shank

The risk like just by the S and P five hundred. Yeah, yeah.

22:04.50

Max Shank

It's a tricky thing because it all comes back to opportunity cost and I use these analogies for exercise quite a lot.. It's like our you know our heavy squats. Good. It's like well maybe. A for who and B can I do something better with that Energy. You know what? I'm saying so the same thing is true with investing. It's not is this good. It's is this better than the other stuff I could own and that's that's why it's so tricky because. You know you look. There are a lot of good companies that you can own that create value that are profitable. There are a lot of companies that you can own that are not profitable and so it's purely based on a prediction that they will create more and more value in the future.

22:46.33

mikebledsoe

Yeah, um.

22:55.54

Max Shank

Above and Beyond what is already priced. It's very tricky stuff. Anyway, if you you're not going to make it tool belt knowledge. You shouldn't ah fuck around with that.

22:57.25

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

23:04.38

mikebledsoe

Yeah. Back to learning.

23:14.59

Max Shank

You'll learn your lesson really fast if you invest money that you shouldn't a fool and his money are soon parted.

23:20.46

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well the 1 thing I notice I'll say one last thing on investing. Ah when you're you're talking about opportunity costs I I watch people try to invest money when they're in credit card debt. So they.

23:35.82

Max Shank

Don't do that paid pay down the debt that's stupid. You get the interest tax free. They don't understand money. Yeah, exactly.

23:39.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the the amount of people that tell that tells me that someone doesn't understand how the numbers work. Yeah, you just don't understand money because your best investment is to not have credit card debt if you have credit card debt. Nothing nothing's going to be that 10 to twenty percent interest you're paying on that.

23:55.15

Max Shank

Crazy. Yeah, that's ridiculous I would say pay down the credit card debt and then after that invest in your income you know invest in building a customer list building a product setting up your service-based business more effectively because you can get.

24:03.69

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

24:14.74

Max Shank

Hundred percent 2 hundred percent thousand percent returns by investing in yourself. But if you get a fifteen percent return year over year in the market. You'd be like Yay. So.

24:23.32

mikebledsoe

Well, there's something about money going in your bank account that you didn't have to do shit for I get I got some cheap thrills out of that.

24:28.99

Max Shank

Totally yeah, but if you set up ah an online library of products that'll that'll bring in money without any extra effort to plus you plus you own your customer list.

24:44.34

mikebledsoe

That's true. That's true.

24:48.74

Max Shank

And that's huge I mean you see right now. Some people are are losing their instagrams and facebooks and Youtube accounts for saying things that they I I suppose shouldn't have said because Papa Papa Youtube Said. Ah. Wasn't okay to say those things and you know if you are dependent on another entity entity to store all of your customers for you. They can go away so you got to have your own you got to own your customer list.

25:23.60

mikebledsoe

Just made a post about that the other day email is not dead so many who are focused on social media when ah, that's right again if you're looking investing that's ah.

25:24.97

Max Shank

That's so important you got to own that customer list. No it works it works until it doesn't.

25:42.30

mikebledsoe

That's 1 that's got a ah a black swan event. Ah as a possibility and and that is black swans occur when you're least expecting them and the event that does occur that brings a downturn is not something you ever imagined would happen.

25:44.53

Max Shank

Ah.

26:00.42

Max Shank

And.

26:01.83

mikebledsoe

Just 1 day you wake up and shit hit the fan and so that can happen if Facebook youtube instagram decides or google decides to to stop featuring your stuff you know shadow banning is 1 1 way where it's not. Overt you didn't see you get blocked but all of a sudden your traffic goes to nil and and I've got several friends that's happened to not just in the last couple years but over the last 3 4 years there's ah there's a very clear.

26:20.82

Max Shank

Um, wild.

26:38.69

mikebledsoe

Ah I Guess attack I don't know I hate using the word attack in this sense. But there's a clear diversion of attention away from things and people that are actually helpful towards big corporate desires and. And wanting people to adopt more main you know Mainstream corporate services and products.

26:59.75

Max Shank

Well. Um, hey man ah censorship is an admission of guilt if you ask me? Yeah, yeah, So as long as we're on the learning subject.

27:09.46

mikebledsoe

I like that I like that censorship is an admission of guilt.

27:23.97

Max Shank

We can we we um problem maybe ah what is rewarded is repeated. That's ah, that's a big thing about learning. So there's.

27:25.75

mikebledsoe

I think we've talked about learning for 5 out of twenty five minutes so far.

27:40.30

Max Shank

Conscious learning where you're like oh I'm going to learn to play the piano or I'm going to learn how to speak german and then there's unconscious learning it could be conscious also but where you adapt to certain patterns. You know your phone. May notice that you prefer watching animal videos at night. But you prefer watching news videos in the morning I know that was that was what I noticed interestingly enough when I was just still logging in. To youtube instead of using a separate browser and not being logged in and just searching for what I want and it would give me like you know would give me like John stossel and all these different guys who I actually trust and then at night it would show me more like. Animal videos like learn about the peacock spider and things like that so you will um basically be guided throughout your day by algorithms that are digital or otherwise. And you develop these patterns that are repeated over and over again. So it's very difficult to get out of those patterns once you're in and that's why having a pattern break is so valuable.

29:02.35

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well, it's Interesting. You come out the unconscious learning and I read this book called Spiritual enlightenment. The damnedest thing by Jed Mckenna have you read that 1 okay. I Think you really enjoy it total. Yeah yeah.

29:20.99

Max Shank

I've only read like 4 or 5 books in my life total. Yeah, that includes Dr. seuss books. The loax was good.

29:31.70

mikebledsoe

Ah, so in that book he talks about how the mind is built and he says that people like to visualize the mind like it's this beautiful web and I've got this thought over here this belief or this idea and it's over here and then ah and. String goes across and it connects over here and this is beautiful intricate web that just it's infinite in Nature. That's how I used to think about the mind and the fact that he outlines that in the book tells me that other people think about the mind similarly and. He talks about how how ah language is laid out when as we as we get older and the order in which we learn words impacts how our mind works and what those words mean to us at that age and how that impacts the mind and. But he what he finally gets to in this explanation is that people think that mine is this beautiful integrated web and it's really just a rat's nest. It's just all jumbled up you and I could be born at the same time same place same parents in our interpretation of. The world is gonna be different and and you only need 1 interpretation early on kind of like the butterfly effect right? He's like you've got this butterfly over here that causes a hurricane on the other side of the world. Ah, there's 1 1 instance where you interpret something your mom or dad did at the age of 2 that shape your personality in a way that the impact the lens that you look through for the rest of your life and so you completely neglect certain pieces of information and you collect the evidence to support your your lens.

31:25.90

Max Shank

Is confirmation Bias right.

31:25.63

mikebledsoe

Over here, right? and nobody is nobody is safe from that confirmation Bias we we all do it and so that's 1 thing that when we if we're talking about learning needs to be acknowledged is that. Much of what we we believe to be true just is not true and it's good to question those be able to question those thoughts and and do some unlearning because learning something new I I found to be a lot easier to learn new things. When I look at what must be unlearned and that's not necessarily an easy task. So the way I look at it is ah it's easier to to write on a if we're thinking about a. Ah, a hard drive I want an empty hard drive and I want to be able just put things on top of that or what may be better is up. Yeah, or or you got a page you're you're writing you're writing your thoughts on a page with a pencil and.

32:30.10

Max Shank

Empty your cup like that ah martial arts example.

32:42.41

mikebledsoe

Ah, you're just having to rewrite So you've got these thoughts that you believe to be true and you're trying to overwrite them So you're just trying to make the words on top of those other words darker and thinking that you're going to be able to change those thoughts and at some point those darker words may overshadow.

32:51.17

Max Shank

The.

33:01.11

mikebledsoe

Words that were previously on the page. But why don't you just use an eraser first using erase or era words then write. It'll be much more clear it. So it it may take a little more effort in the beginning but long run it's way easier or if you start with a blank page instead of a.

33:06.78

Max Shank

A.

33:19.59

mikebledsoe

Page that already has writing on it. These are the things that this is how I think about the mind and when I'm learning something new I ask myself? what do I need to unlearn before I learn this.

33:31.89

Max Shank

I think part of the reason it's hard for people to let go or erase or burn ego death is because they identify so much with it whether it's ah good or bad or neutral. It's familiar and we gain a lot of our sense of stability through our self-im image and so if you have a self image that is maybe harmful to you. You know some people are ah shoot all kinds of things anorexic. Self-loathing whatever there are all these manifest obese. Um, you know to protect yourself. So for example, a lot of people are really overweight just because they never want to have a chance to be rejected in the first place but if so if they're just this big fat person. No 1 that'll never even happen. So you get so identified with this identity that it blocks out any potential for change and that's why any kind of change requires some sort of removal of material like you have to chip away. At the ego in order to make room for something new and different.

34:51.53

mikebledsoe

You know.

34:57.42

mikebledsoe

So aside from chipping away the ego and unlearning First what are some? What are some things that you put into a place I'm a big fan of your your five minute strategy.

34:57.74

Max Shank

The.

35:11.97

Max Shank

Um, yeah, yeah, there's sort of a quantum effect of 5 minute blocks because it feels easier to start psychologically and it's it's so easy for me to.

35:13.44

mikebledsoe

For learning new things. Can you explain that 1

35:31.81

Max Shank

Just jump around from thing to thing and put stuff off. So if you do like usually five minutes the word just comes right before it. Oh it's just five minutes but ten minutes feels too long and with my mobility program I did five minute flow I get. So many versions of the same message which is hilarious which is you know I started doing five minute flows. But now I can't keep them under ten minutes I can't keep them under fifteen minutes and yeah

36:05.94

mikebledsoe

I've got a problem. How do we fix this? ah.

36:08.90

Max Shank

Right? Exactly? No, That's that's exactly the thing. It's a scam and I tricked. You guys. So haha I tricked you into getting started which is where the inertia is and once you start moving then it's really easy to keep going with regard to learning you don't. Want to practice a skill poorly. You're better off to take a break and come back and do it Again. Probably the biggest fallacy with this is within like the fitness thing. It's like you're pushing through. The the pain or pushing through the struggle or like you know, but you wouldn't do that if you were practicing shooting baskets or hitting golf balls. You would try to stay as fresh as possible and that's really 1 of the key elements for optimal learning. Is you.

37:03.39

mikebledsoe

I think.

37:06.39

Max Shank

Go in you do the thing total focus and then you pull away from it and then you go back in total focus and then you pull away from it and if you've ever done something where it requires total focus like tennis or fencing or fighting. Um, or even like ah a video game where you have to constantly either like move left or right let's say to avoid obstacles the ability to focus and not break that focus for a long period of time is something that you can practice as well. But you will. Improve that ability better if you take some small breaks.

37:48.26

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the the increasing the capacity for focus the way that I like to approach that is I can tell when I'm losing focus. So. Um, working on I like to work on 1 task at a time I think that's important if people are trying to multitask they're they're so unfocused the whole time. They don't even realize when their their capacity for focus is going down because they just are starting so low already and what I like to do is set up a timer. And so I know that I can work if it's before noon I can do a ninety minute work session completely focused I use brain fm I use a bi neural beats type of thing to help me focus and my phone's on a timer. So the music will stop. When I'm supposed to stop my work and so most the time if it's before noon and I can work in ninety minute sprint I don't move out of my seat I'm in front of my computer and I am I am knocking out whatever needs to get knocked out and then the afternoons I noticed that. I don't have the same amount of juice might be seventy five minutes as the day goes on my my amount my periods of time of work separated by a break becomes shorter now.

39:12.53

Max Shank

So that's wisdom is knowing yourself and acting accordingly.

39:16.92

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and what what got me there was I got into ah started getting into deep work zones which can take twenty thirty minutes to get into the the space of deep work the the amount of. Focus that you have is basically what I'm describing and that that level of focus can be achieved a lot sooner I can achieve that focus a lot sooner now because I've done it so many times I've gotten into that really deep work zones. So frequently that my my brain knows how it goes it says oh this is what we're doing now shut everything else out focus on this 1 thing and so when you get into this deep work zone enough. You can tell when your mind is starting to leave it. So.

40:08.77

Max Shank

Free.

40:10.99

mikebledsoe

when I when I'm reading something and I read the same paragraph 3 times you know I have to reread the email that I am going through or I you know I basically just start making mistakes mistakes or needing to repeat things to try to remember or whatever it is. Ah. I can so I'm watching my mind begin to drift and so what I've done is is instead of working through that empowering through that. What I've done is I go oh I gotta take a break I go for a walk I go check my mail which is you know quarter mile away I go. Take a nap I ah you know, go play with someone's dog. Whatever so. Ah, match gave me a good look. Ah so I I know when to take a break because the mind works very much so like muscles in the body and and you know in the fitness industry. It is very interesting that people have this tendency to. Push through the pain and basically practice shitty movement they practice moving poorly and they practice getting injured is what they're doing and so ah I think ah I think a large part of. That reason is because there are certain benefits to pushing to that point of failure but they are overemphasized in the fitness industry and then in addition to that people people just don't understand. What poor movement is and what good movement is and they don't understand they're they're practicing to get injured and then of course if you throw in something like Crossfit now you have this competitive competition component that is going to drive people to do things that they don't really they don't really have the capacity

42:07.66

Max Shank

Well, we've we've learned a false image of fitness I think so that's something really interesting about the things that you learn is you may very well have learned a false premise. So even if you do everything.

42:08.40

mikebledsoe

To do so.

42:15.37

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

42:27.29

Max Shank

Allegedly, correct if the entire if it's built on a false Premise. You're totally Screwed. You have like no chance of optimizing the amount of effort that you put in so with fitness For example. If Your athletic capacity is not increasing from your health and fitness practice or your movement practice. Whatever you're probably wasting your time I mean a lot of people use fitness as a way to burn Energy. With no rhyme or reason it's like putting too much gasoline on your in your car like overeating and then putting your car up on blocks and just running the engine. So It doesn't overflow. That's like 1 of the worst things you can do um because just like with investing. What you're sacrificing for doing that Bs is the chance to do something that could improve your overall capacity your ability to fight your ability to run your ability to play I mean Ah, that's the tricky thing about opportunity cost is you're sacrificing. Everything else you could be doing to do this. So If you're not enthusiastic about it. It's like dude, why? why bother there are plenty of good options and you know getting stuck into the whole thing about aesthetics is ah is another tricky thing. That's just based on.

43:49.84

mikebledsoe

Go.

44:02.99

Max Shank

What we've learned you know like I always joke about the aztec aesthetic which is like a big fat guy at the top of a temple watching the heads roll down like he was the best thing you could be a big fat guy and then you know over time sexy lady. Has changed from fat lady to thin victorian era plump and then we went through like the Ninety s or something where the supermodels weighed like 85 pounds and now we're kind of coming round to like thick is good again. So it's all.

44:39.33

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

44:42.50

Max Shank

It's all a matter of that individual perspective and that's why you can think of your focus like a lantern or a laser.. That's what I usually tell people is you can soften it like a lantern and that's for a martial artist may have heard the term soft eyes before. Like sometimes I'll practice while I'm juggling and I won't look at the balls I'll juggle but I'll be trying to take in as much other stuff as Possible. So I can focus right in your eyes right now or I can step back and I can be as aware as possible of everything else in the room.

45:09.17

mikebledsoe

Ah.

45:20.51

Max Shank

And it's a really big difference in terms of how you focus so being able to cycle between those is extremely valuable because you don't want to always be laserfocused sometimes you want to have that wider perspective. Of what's going on and that's usually where joy and gratitude can come from is when you see the big picture rather than like oh my god my my life sucks compared to that guy over there and I hate that guy. He's got a nice, whatever and you know you get stuck.

45:59.36

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

45:59.65

Max Shank

Ah, tunnel vision right? So being able to zoom in and zoom out and realizing that your concepts of good and bad good and evil are are learned. You know, ah lions don't worry about that. Lions don't have a concept of good and evil they have a concept of danger from like other lions and they have a concept of hunger and that's it they don't have a concept of good and evil it's ridiculous. It's like totally a human invention I mean there are a lot of. Old stories that talk about that. What's that the wasn't that where eve ate the Apple wasn't it. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil so that the whole thing is just having this awakening that's crazy uncomfortable that.

46:41.45

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

46:53.50

Max Shank

Your whole idea of this is good and this is bad is just implanted from from the last guy

46:59.48

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, are yeah I mean anything that's conceptual in nature that is that that we can't point at physically is usually passed down from from somebody else and.

47:14.59

Max Shank

Yeah, so if you focus on things that are intrinsically enjoyable then you will find the things that will make you the most enthusiastic you will naturally put more time into learning you'll.

47:17.61

mikebledsoe

Very interesting.

47:33.24

Max Shank

Be interested in learning the finer details. You know I sometimes I say it's not exactly true. But I think the sentiment is right? The only difficult thing is something you don't want to do if you want to do it then it doesn't matter.

47:47.39

mikebledsoe

E.

47:52.80

Max Shank

Like you you would just want to do it and if you don't want to do it then it's probably going to be more difficult. So.

47:53.43

mikebledsoe

Right.

47:59.67

mikebledsoe

It's why people look at people doing a crossfi workout and go I can't I don't know understand how you do it? How do you push through whatever not realizing that that person is doing that workout loves doing that workout for whatever reason or they've at least learned to love the workout.

48:11.80

Max Shank

Um, yeah, um, well and sometimes you can sacrifice the temporary feeling for a bigger picture win like I actually never um, enjoyed lifting weights that much as weird as that might sound. Just did it because I wanted to be the most Alpha guy Possible. So now that I'm in a place where I'm a lot more honest with myself about what I'm doing just to get a result or what I'm enjoying I do a lot of weird stuff at the like I enjoy like explosive things like heavy lifting is like okay. Do some but I can play tennis for like 2 hours and I'm dying to play more tennis because it's so Fun. It's so engaging I'm using all these different skills. So That's intrinsically enjoyable to me but you know the idea of doing like a Crossfit workout.

48:56.40

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

49:09.73

Max Shank

I Don't even see the point of it for example so you change over time.

49:11.51

mikebledsoe

Yeah I Want to go 1 thing I Want to ah point out I mean you said a lot of really good stuff. There 1 is how you how you use your focus and how you can go from laser focus to that soft focus and I think about that as contraction and expansion. And if you spend too much time in contraction then you won't be able to expand very much if you if you spend too much time in that expansion. It's gonna be difficult to to concentrate that that attention. But um, being able to cycle between the 2 is gonna give you more capacity for each. So. The same way then analogy with um, you know somebody who's really athletic their muscle needs to be able to contract incredibly fast but also be able to relax incredibly fast so you got to be able to snap that muscle and it's got to be able to snap back into.

50:01.41

Max Shank

Her.

50:08.33

mikebledsoe

And to just relaxation and those are the people who are the most athletic have the most endurance all these things um and the same thing with with attention. Can you play? Can you go that soft focus. Can you go that that laser focus and I think about it just like breathing. You got an inhale and you've got an exhale. Got to spend time in either. So I do want to hit that and then the other thing you talked about is the false premise and it's very interesting because that's 1 of the things that I I see creates a lot of disagreement in the world is well 1 is. Which we talk about regularly which is semantics people just are they don't even realize that they're in disagreement about the meaning of words and so they think the word that someone else is using means something than what they intended it to be so um, it's that that's number 1 I think number 2 is and what we've witnessed over the last couple years is the premise in which people are coming from are different and they're arguing about stuff that's at the surface or they're focused on what's on the surface and not looking at the premise in which everything else is based. So. Ah, it's what's that's a term in Mathematics. Ah for for assumptions I forget what it is maybe it'll come to me but basically it's it's ah the premise that you know 2 plus because 2 plus 2 equals four then. All this other things and mathematics must be true because 1 plus 1 equals 2 that then means and so what I've what I've witnessed especially in like say so the scientific world and is ah.

51:45.39

Max Shank

Um, right? or.

52:00.53

mikebledsoe

We see these big shifts in how science is viewed when someone comes out and questions the validity of the premise in which we've been operating from and so ah, there's.

52:14.57

Max Shank

Often Those guys get burned at the stake historically speaking.

52:18.95

mikebledsoe

Yeah, they get historically speaking it. You do not be want to be the 1 that that ah challenges consensus. Yeah yeah, well, ah well that that's the other thing too is be be aware of of ah.

52:25.51

Max Shank

Um, don't kill the messenger I think we've heard before.

52:38.25

mikebledsoe

Consensus group think and anytime anyone uses the word is it Ah, who was it. Ah, the guy who wrote Jurassic Part Michael Crichton I you.

52:46.69

Max Shank

That guy is an animal I recommend anybody go listen to some of his talks Michael criton is a fucking animal. That's a genius.

52:55.65

mikebledsoe

Yeah, he you you sent me a video of his and I is an hour long talk and I ate it up. It was so good but he talks about how Consensus science is not science. It's.

53:05.67

Max Shank

Yo, ah.

53:12.84

mikebledsoe

Anyone who starts using the word Consensus science is actually anti. It's an anti-science concept. You can't state of fear is talk. Yeah, so you know just throwing that out. There is a warning anytime anyone starts using consensus science. Ah.

53:17.75

Max Shank

Um, it's called State of fear. That's the name of the talk I think I think so yeah.

53:32.56

mikebledsoe

That's that's when you know you should turn around and run.

53:33.61

Max Shank

Well, you got to consider the source. He also introduced me to a concept called gelmon amnesia which is where like you're an expert in fitness so you open up the paper and you read a fitness article and you're like this is totally false. This is ridiculous. But then. You forget that that was totally false so you read the rest of the paper as if it's true. It's like wait a second like fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

53:56.45

mikebledsoe

Ah.

54:02.42

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, but we have we have a whole world of people running around with false premise theyre running around with um that this is I'm not going to say that I know how all this works but there's 1 thing that I've noticed.

54:09.61

Max Shank

Right.

54:21.90

mikebledsoe

But you know I listen to people who are healthy so people who are healthy and have spent a lot of time thinking about these things long before the pandemic those are the people who I like to talk to and think about what they say but 1 1 premise would be germ theory versus Terrain Theory. And ah germ theory is a false premise because it's not even being considered a it's considered to be a fact versus the way it's being treated is it's not being treated as a theory. Ah, and that's 1 thing I'm noticing in society as a whole is that people are treating theories as if they're facts I was just I was just ah and this is how far I'll take it is I was watching a ah. My girlfriend was watching like an animals show is basically like Discovery Channel you know, looking at these cats and it starts off with eleven million years ago this predator descended into this region of the world and I go. Are they fucking serious. They just state that that like it was a fact I'm going I'm going No fucking wonder adults are running around the world acting like things are facts that are theories or that are just ideas presented by other people. Yeah, you may have a lot of evidence to suggest that but it's still a theory and so what we're experiencing right now is we have this mass adoption because because traditional or I'll say conventional medicine in the United States is based on germ theory When. Ah, the when if you were to just look through this pandemic through the lens of of terrain theory Everything that's being advised for people to do sounds insane. But.

56:26.81

Max Shank

Yeah, of course you got to be careful who your mentors are like with kind of bringing it back to learning like who do you trust? what's hilarious is that so many more people trust Joe Rogan than they trust any of the other people allegedly reporting on what's going on.

56:29.76

mikebledsoe

But if you.

56:43.89

mikebledsoe

M.

56:46.27

Max Shank

And there are so many premises that we've been talking about here's ah okay, like obesity for example, obesity rates are like through the roof so you could argue that most people kill themselves because obesity is like the easiest way to die quicker. From all causes whether it's diabetes, Heart disease etc like all that stuff. Um, if you're weak and fat. You die Faster. There's no question about that. But I think the biggest false premise is that we should run people through the same filter. That's exactly 1 of the reasons why school is so catastrophically bad like I don't think ah ah like about some things I'm like really dumb but about ah like I almost got held back in school like that's crazy when you think about it like I'm not like too dumb you know what? I'm saying.

57:34.22

mikebledsoe

M.

57:41.46

mikebledsoe

You're 1 of the smartest people I know so that.

57:41.77

Max Shank

So the whole nah I mean but I've only like read a few books isn't that all that matters. No I think smart is about how efficiently you can live the way you want to live like if you're living the way you want without expending a lot of energy then you're smart. Most people just want to. Ah, peer Smart I don't frankly give a flying fuck how I appear to people as long as I can live in an efficient and effortless way as long as I can move in efficient and effortless way and I think that's why people like fighting that's why I like it because it's very honest, you got a winner and you got a loser. You know I like playing tennis because it's honest I can't be like ah that ball was in no it was fucking out you missed bitch like try again. Ah so the the whole the whole premise that we should be run through the same filter is ridiculous. The whole premise of health is ridiculous. The whole idea that we should just blindly follow what a few people say we should is ridiculous like there's like a list that goes on and on I don't have it right in front of me but I wrote a bunch of the stuff that I thought was wrong about it down. But. I mean it's it's the same um as anything else. There are so many false premises out there that will lead you down a path because you can have a valid thought process and those are the 2 pillars of truth right? You have a true premise or false premise and you have a valid thought process. Or an invalid thought process. So a lot of the time you have a false premise with a valid thought process so it looks good. You're like yeah that that does like make like the logic make sense but because the premise is false everything else just goes completely out the window and that's. Kind of where I tie it back into where you put your faith or where you put authority into because when it comes to learning 1 of the quickest ways 1 of the best ways to learn is through a good teacher. But if you choose the wrong teacher. That is also a sure-fire way to fuck you up, you are going to inherit all of his ego bullshit I mean look have you ever seen youth sports probably like the parents and the coaches.

59:54.20

mikebledsoe

Here.

01:00:03.44

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah.

01:00:10.84

Max Shank

Are doing a lot of harm to those little fuckers especially if they're trying to live out their dreams or like how about how about like a beauty Pageant Mom I mean when it comes to learning you got to really consider who you try to emulate like there are people out there who seem very healthy, Very joyful.

01:00:11.35

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah.

01:00:30.39

Max Shank

And loving relationships and maybe they're not behind the facade so you got to you got to do some digging to really see like do I want to try to emulate. Do I want a monkey see Monkey do that person's life. It's a big deal.

01:00:44.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that is a big deal. Ah so I I sat down on an airplane on Saturday and this really old indian guy that's down next to me.

01:01:01.65

Max Shank

Dot or feather.

01:01:03.48

mikebledsoe

And dot and ah he sits a real indian he sits down next to me like from India ah, he had the accent and everything you know he he spent some time India and pakistan and.

01:01:11.84

Max Shank

Yeah I get it. No, you're right.

01:01:20.77

mikebledsoe

Sits down he starts talking I mean he was referencing something things that were happening in the sixty s so this is how old this guy is and do you have to go? Oh maybe it was on my hand. Ah I think late. Anyways.

01:01:28.30

Max Shank

That wasn't on my end.

01:01:40.32

mikebledsoe

Um, I sit down. We start talking and I come to find out. He's a ah substitute teacher and in Florida and I was asking him all these questions about does he enjoy it. So um, by the way this guy had a stroke the month before so he was he was being a He was a little slow so I actually spent the flight helping him do things like open up his his chips and getting him to the bathroom and all these things but he sat there and just taught me shit the whole time. So. Ah, my girlfriend was blown away. She's like why did you like that guy I was like he was teaching me the whole time. Ah so 1 of the things he says is he goes you know what the problem with kids these days is I say don't know how to think they only know what they know and he says ah that. They believe that 2 plus 2 equals four which is true but they think that that's the only thing that equals four they don't realize that 3 plus 1 equal 4 this is the analogy he was using. You know they don't realize that 4 times 1 equals four. They only know that 2 plus 2 equals four. He says.

01:02:50.40

Max Shank

It's kind of.

01:02:52.63

mikebledsoe

They only know what they know they don't know how they got there and and and.

01:02:56.58

Max Shank

I Know exactly what you're talking about.. It's like a reflexive fear-based reaction to like hey don't worry I know don't worry I know they're like regurgitating stuff that they learned but they don't have like any kind of logical. Thought process that can help them discover something different or New. They don't have a set of tactics that can help them learn something better.

01:03:23.95

mikebledsoe

Right? So he said that and I go Wow. That's such a really simple way of explaining critical thinking versus whatever, whatever, not critical thinking would be but being a dumbass. Ah, is and so ah, yeah, if anyone been.

01:03:47.61

Max Shank

What's more important. What's more important you own a business I own a business. What's more important if you're going to hire somebody that they already know a bunch of things or that they have the ability to learn new things.

01:03:54.80

mikebledsoe

What.

01:04:01.22

mikebledsoe

Oh definitely the ability to learn new things. Um, well, there's there's 2 different types of employees. You got the people that that Mcdonald's is shopping for which is we just want people to be able to follow the steps. Yeah, we want robots.

01:04:10.45

Max Shank

Ah.

01:04:17.62

Max Shank

Automatons. Yeah.

01:04:20.35

mikebledsoe

Um, and then you have you know Google executives Those people are hired because they're not going to. You know they're going to create the rules they're going to think of new things right.

01:04:27.94

Max Shank

They can see the big picture they can. They can think of what to do. It's like the difference between being a ah Master chef and a soou chef where you're just preparing the diced vegetables.

01:04:40.20

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and the the problem is is we're we're closing out 2021 here in the next couple months and ah, all those jobs can be that don't require creativity are going away. They're being replaced by robots. Ah, those amazon jobs won't be around much longer truck truckers won't be around in 1015 years that won't be a thing and that makes a but lot of people that's a lot of employment so you know that we're 60000.

01:05:16.63

Max Shank

We'll probably go to more service business.

01:05:18.99

mikebledsoe

You know we're now 60000 ah truck drivers short in the United states as part of the you know? yeah I read.

01:05:23.57

Max Shank

I I didn't know that I met a guy who I thought was really dumb but he was actually really smart because he was like a pretty young kid when I was doing Moyai and he owned like 5 semi trucks by the time he was twenty 2 Did n't graduate high school and he started driving a truck and then he bought another truck and then he bought another truck and he just he was like retired he was like 25 years old is like it was great but he sounded dumb and about a lot of no, he really did.

01:05:51.19

mikebledsoe

Wow brilliant.

01:06:00.36

mikebledsoe

Well, he found his strategy.

01:06:02.16

Max Shank

Ah, nice guy exactly That's what I mean like you you don't want to compare everybody with the same measuring stick because however you measure yourself That's also going to be the same stick that you beat yourself with basically well which if you're into that I mean that's fine. But.

01:06:08.13

mikebledsoe

Right.

01:06:19.37

mikebledsoe

I've always thought of myself as quite the masochist so works out.

01:06:25.54

Max Shank

That's why we get along so well I'm a little more sadistic and you're a little more masochistic.

01:06:27.42

mikebledsoe

Am Yeah, you're the dom fits.

01:06:31.64

Max Shank

I Think everybody knew that already.

01:06:38.24

Max Shank

Ah.

01:06:38.28

mikebledsoe

Ah, alright, let's wrap this bad boy up any any closing thoughts. Yeah.

01:06:43.66

Max Shank

On learning. Ah when it comes to learning the most important thing is that it's important to you that you use it and that you continue to use it and. When it comes to learning movement. Probably the thing that people miss the most is going super slow like even a super slow walk across the room. Super slow walk across the room with your eyes closed take the normal movements you do close your eyes try to do it as slow as possible. Try to do it as fast as possible. Try to change the angle a little bit and deliberately go outside of that normal range and there are a lot of other ways but I'll just keep it brief I would say maybe changing the speeds is like 1 of the most powerful ways. Especially really slowing down and. Consciously moving through the entire movement and then just be careful who you choose as a mentor for overall learning.

01:07:44.74

mikebledsoe

Yeah, love it. Yeah, stop listening to our show. Um, now you so. My my final thoughts are what what are your be intentional. So the best way to learn is to be intentional with each moment that goes by and that's something that's practicing itself but ask yourself why you're doing something so as max was talking about. Um, learning a new skill. Why am I why am I squatting today you know am I doing it fast am I doing it slow. Why always be in the why why you're doing something and the more time you spend in the intention and understanding the why. But when you're doing anything. Probably find yourself take more time take more care and the quality of that go up I think that quality is definitely the result of learning so that's all I got Appreciate. Conversation today max where can people find you.

01:08:58.41

Max Shank

Thank you brother I can be found at Maxshank Dot Com or at macshank everywhere you can Also Google me, there's also there's a ton of stuff out there.

01:09:06.35

mikebledsoe

Whatever you do don't get google my name. Ah it'll be you get a mixed bag of things you find me find me on Instagram at mike underscore blood. So and.

01:09:15.46

Max Shank

Don't really. If there was ever way to make people want to Google you that was it.

01:09:25.00

mikebledsoe

Ah Shh telling him my secret later yall love me max.

01:09:31.43

Max Shank

Love you buddy.

Nov 22, 2021

00:00.00

Max Shank

Welcome back to the Monday morning podcast with max and mike today we are going to talk about relationships because I don't know mike I've noticed that most people ruin their lives with just 1 or 2 bad relationships or maybe it becomes a pattern but. I think 1 of the biggest traps is to fall into the common way that people relate with each other especially with romantic relationships I'm sure you have some experience and have seen that as well.

00:30.70

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think most people have we go back to their first relationship. They had their first girlfriend or first boyfriend. Whatever it is and probably for most people every person they've dated since that person has just been a new iteration of the same thing. They they'd likely relate to them the same way. They they find a lot of things that are in common in the beginning. It's really easy to overlook the the all the bad things. All the things that that may have gone south in your previous relationship because well you're.

01:02.63

Max Shank

To name.

01:08.48

mikebledsoe

You're on drugs when you're in love I'd say the first six months and.

01:10.20

Max Shank

No doubt so you think the first relationship sets the tone for all the rest of them.

01:15.13

mikebledsoe

I Think you I think your relationship with your father sets a tone for all your romantic relationships because when you're when you're born.

01:24.32

Max Shank

That explains why I go for beefy guys with big mustache. I was wondering what that was.

01:32.20

mikebledsoe

Ah, well this this is the framework I've been operating from over the last few years when when looking at relationships and that is when you're born you are. Ah yeah, it's your first love the so your mother.

01:43.53

Max Shank

I remember you telling me this you said your father is your first friend first relationship outside yourself.

01:51.85

mikebledsoe

When you yeah when you're born and you come out of your mother's womb you you were inside of her and then you should at least go to the breast pretty early after after being born and you really associate with your mother. So your mother really. Teaches you how to have a relationship with yourself and then your father is the first person outside of yourself that you have a relationship with so whether you're a man or a woman. He really sets the stage for ah how you relate to people and not necessarily just romantic relationships. Um, and ah I've also heard paul check talk about this which is you're usually ah attracted to a woman who has a similar body type to your mother. So if your mother had big breasts you probably are attracted to big breasts and so on and so forth I don't think that's always true but I imagine it's a fair. Fair assumption. So.

02:48.95

Max Shank

So so basically what you're saying is that the relationship you have with your dad and the physical appearance of your mom guides a lot of your selections in choosing a mate.

03:04.82

mikebledsoe

Yeah I would say people yeah people who haven't done a lot of work are more likely to just fall into those patterns. That's so I'm not saying this is an absolute. It's comfortable. It's safe.

03:07.24

Max Shank

From a very young age.

03:14.00

Max Shank

It feels comfortable. It probably that that makes sense it would feel what would feel more comfortable than someone who acts like your dad and looks like your mom. But.

03:25.82

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah. Um, yeah, yeah, well well people people hate change right? And so well what they do is your parents really teach you how to relate to other people. They they teach you? How love looks you know people who grew up in a home where the parents are fighting all the time. Maybe there's physical abuse.

03:30.77

Max Shank

I mean I guess it's familiar of god.

03:50.35

mikebledsoe

And then they get an abuse of relationships. It's like well they don't They aren't experiencing love unless that experience is happening. Um and what's that.

03:56.73

Max Shank

I Think that takes us to the next phase really well which is how your parents romantic relationship looks to you because you're going to. You're going to probably copy that to a certain extent or you're at least going to say oh that's normal.

04:08.41

mikebledsoe

That's true.

04:15.87

Max Shank

So whether your parents are very cold and standoffish and not very affectionate toward each other or whether you live with a single dad who's just a casanova taking home a different lady every other Night. You're probably going to just mimic. That instinctually I guess or naturally you're going to mimic those behaviors.

04:36.83

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and it's really interesting because a lot of people don't think that they are but they're out they the people on the outside looking in are going. Oh that's totally what you're doing but because it is so normal to people they don't They don't even see it. Ah yeah, it's ah.

04:55.62

Max Shank

Well you see ah some couples like look almost like carbon copies of each other too. You see a guy in a gal who look almost the same they look like they could be brother and sister. They're not in the cases that I'm talking I mean I know that happens sometimes but.

04:55.64

mikebledsoe

It's fascinating stuff.

05:03.48

mikebledsoe

Yet.

05:12.62

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ah, there's a name for that that I've seen a chart somewhere. It says like the different types of coupling that can occur and.

05:14.38

Max Shank

And the cases I'm talking about they just find someone who looks like them.

05:26.85

Max Shank

Man.

05:29.39

mikebledsoe

A lot of times if that type of coupling is occurring then you know there's likely ah a repetition of patterns. There's likely like gonna you're gonna feel really good about the relationship in the beginning but over time you may find dissatisfaction and I say may a lot here because I I don't.

05:42.63

Max Shank

Anyone.

05:46.87

mikebledsoe

There's no absolutes with all of this and ah 1 thing I Want to point out too is we're talking about what people learn from their parents which is different than what your parents taught you So what? a teacher intends for you to learn and what you receive it. These are different Things. So I like to keep that clear too because max said you said something that really stands out which is how you perceived your parents' relationship as how you're gonna be behave So as an adult what can happen a lot of times is. We intellectually look at our parents relationship or we look at the past and go oh that was not a big deal or I you know you can reason it away you can create reasons for and against why things were a certain way. But if you dig down deep enough which I've I've done a lot of that type of work where we deep dig. Deep down into what happened emotionally at a young age and people end up what we end up discovering is oh I learned this thing and I as I got older I intellectualized it away but it. But even though I intellectually intellectualized it away.

06:51.96

Max Shank

And.

06:59.65

mikebledsoe

It was still a pattern that was dominating my life. So I like to just bring that to people's awareness. Yeah, a lot of subconscious behavior.

07:01.52

Max Shank

Um, subconsciously subconsciously I think it's really important to distinguish between instinct and intellect. That's 1 of the main things I like to communicate with people is that you have these instincts that have. Basically nothing to do with your Upbringing. You're going to have an instinctual desire If. You're a man toward a female most of the time and so you're going to find a lot of ladies sexually desirable and your intellect is. Able to override your instinct but not all the time right? So you have things that are instinctual.

07:41.73

mikebledsoe

Well it depends on if you're It's probably how stressed how stressed you are in that moment or how much fear you're experiencing dictates the instinct versus intellect.

07:51.28

Max Shank

So it's like the pause between Impulse and action I guess because some things are instinctual and then some things are ingrained like I think beating your spouse is not an instinct but I'm I'm guessing. But if you.

07:55.20

mikebledsoe

Um.

08:03.39

mikebledsoe

No.

08:09.39

mikebledsoe

I.

08:09.86

Max Shank

If you see your if you see your parents beating each other then that's going to be ingrained into you right? So you have the the pure instincts which is sexual attraction and ah probably ah, there's a sense of family there as well. Maybe.

08:16.29

mikebledsoe

Right? right.

08:26.57

mikebledsoe

Just me.

08:29.12

Max Shank

More nurturing on the side of females generally and then you have behaviors and patterns that are ingrained where you have these roles that each participant in a relationship plays and you're going to.. It's like you were saying you know you don't. Necessarily do what your parents tell you you don't do what your teachers tell you you just either copy them or you try to do the opposite mostly right, right? What what you see.

08:53.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, it's what you learn from them. Not what they try to teach you? Yeah all right? So we covered super early development in regard to relationships which is a good foundation.

09:05.20

Max Shank

I Think it's good. We have we have like a right? So then we move on into relationships should we go to relationships because that's probably I think we don't need to go into like.

09:17.88

mikebledsoe

I want to let everyone know we're we're ten minutes in his show while them know we're gonna talk about how to pick up chicks at some point in this just ah so people keep paying attention.

09:24.91

Max Shank

Oh yeah, so here's what you do you? Ah you spend like 10 years getting into really good shape and getting really rich and then the rest of it doesn't matter or or another option.

09:39.71

mikebledsoe

Ah.

09:43.41

Max Shank

You can just ah, go up and and talk to girls that you're interested in and actually be interested in them.

09:50.20

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that's the key. Well I think most guys I'm gonna talk about guys because I think we're more of an expert on men than we are women.

09:57.87

Max Shank

Are we gonna talk about are we gonna talk about the pedestal today. We we we got to talk about the pedestal today I can tell I you and I are on the same like wavelength I've been there I've done it too.

10:02.62

mikebledsoe

Yeah, we can talk about the pedestal. We got to talk about the pedestal. Actually I what I was about to say kind of leads into that. Yeah.

10:17.84

Max Shank

I've put ladies up on this high pedestal. Not healthy, not healthy to do that.

10:18.43

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well now I forgot what I was gonna say so yeah, well when we get in our our first relationships ah man women are just so ah I would say a lot of. What got me in my first relationships is me me trying to.

10:38.16

Max Shank

Like holding the pause button women are so oh God What's even do.

10:47.43

mikebledsoe

Um, so like when I when I first started why it totally didn't know it at the time but I looked back at my childhood and and the girls and it was it was all about you know. Making myself feel loved like I wanted to feel loved. So I you know would go after I like need to go after the prettiest girl I wanted to go after the same girl that everybody else was going after. Um, there was yeah yeah, then everyone would worship me which is not completely inaccurate.

11:17.60

Max Shank

Then we would all like you.

11:25.32

mikebledsoe

I Mean if you date if you're with someone that a lot of people want to be with that does raise your status I've witnessed this I've I've had that experience.

11:30.10

Max Shank

You get a lot of fifth bumps from strangers. Um, you like my man get look at hit him.

11:39.95

mikebledsoe

Actually I was like I had that experience forty 8 hours ago or you know 36 hours Saturday night I was out. Yeah, my my girlfriend gets up from the table. He gives me a fist bump like yeah and.

11:49.20

Max Shank

Right? You automatically get street cred and why is that it's because women are Judgmental. That's I think that's the word you are looking for is women are very Judgmental now before before I'm crucified. Let me qualify that with that's just.

11:59.81

mikebledsoe

I.

12:08.42

Max Shank

The way of animals generally Speaking. We do a little dance show you our pretty feathers and we're like hey look at this nest I Made what do you think and you're like they're taking notes like okay, he's got a 8 out of 10 on nest building. Nice flowers. Nice feathers I like your bird song. Okay I'll accept your your dna we can name so that's but that's the same word. That's the same thing but but.

12:31.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it well they have ah they have discernment. For instance, my my girlfriend she is yeah similar I think Judgment judgment carries. Ah to me that if we're getting in the semantics as we do. Ah ah.

12:46.57

Max Shank

We have to.

12:50.19

mikebledsoe

Judgment comes with it a making wrong a it. It becomes so um, a moral a moral issue whereas something may not be good enough for this specific thing but it doesn't make you a bad person for instance like I'm not in ah I'm not in ah to blonde women. It's not.

12:53.53

Max Shank

Um, yeah, pass or Fail. Um. Um, so I feel like yeah.

13:09.86

mikebledsoe

Because blonde women are are bad. It's just because it's not my I discern against that for what that's a poor example I should probably pick something that's more of like a behavior trait and a look but women are discerning Well I say that I say that because my girlfriend is way more discerning than I am.

13:14.14

Max Shank

Right? I think I think discern. Yeah I think discernment is a good word. They discriminate. Women are way more discerning than men are generally speaking I don't think that I'm telling any tales out of school with that comment I think most of the things totally but wouldn't you say that most of the crazy things that guys do are.

13:28.50

mikebledsoe

And social situations.

13:33.17

mikebledsoe

Well this is this is where being being with a woman and listening to her is a superpower keeps me out of lot of trouble.

13:45.13

Max Shank

Mostly to attract women I mean nobody yeah no, that's what I'm saying nobody's this is like the core of the thing for all the fell is listening I mean the whole reason. Ah, you try to get 6 pack abs is because you want some lady to go oh look at him I like that whole reason you buy.

13:45.96

mikebledsoe

Almost everything.

14:04.89

Max Shank

A crazy fancy car is to you know, convince or Persuade or appear to a potential mate as if you are, you're qualified. You meet the parameters for like yeah I'll get with that guy. Otherwise why would you be getting fist bumps. And it's weird because guys are usually valued on what they can provide and girls are usually valued on what they are.

14:32.52

mikebledsoe

I like to look at it as men are are valued for ah hold value for success and women hold value for Beauty is is what I've typically noticed which is similar to what you're saying. But.

14:49.44

Max Shank

Yeah.

14:52.42

mikebledsoe

But I think those are the primary things that people are like men are judging women on Beauty and that's why you see so many old rich dudes with with young hot girls. It doesn't go the other way around. Yeah yeah, so it's um, you know for young men out there.

14:55.60

Max Shank

Here.

15:01.81

Max Shank

It's because it's because wealth compounds and Beauty deteriorates.

15:11.63

mikebledsoe

It might be a little rough. Um, but I don't think it has to I Just think it it tends to be.

15:13.78

Max Shank

I I don't think so I think if you have I think it's probably the best time to just be a little bit courageous because I would say that by and large men are becoming very weak very fragile. Emotionally. And if you're just willing to have the courage to ask for what you want and ask ladies out and be that male masculine Archetype it. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel I think.

15:47.54

mikebledsoe

It it really is when I was living in San diego um I was living in a part of town where it was a very like just had a feminine essence. You actually you live there so you know, um, but I'm taught. Yeah.

16:00.51

Max Shank

I Do I live in a very feminine place.

16:05.61

mikebledsoe

It's ah ensonnitos california very feminine. It's very laid back easy going a lot of the men there I think max max and I were probably 2 of the 2 out of maybe five masculine men in the whole town which does which. I wonder how many guys in Nsonitas are listening to this show which does make it feel like shooting fish in a barrel because I know I know for you I I imagine it's fairly easy to find good looking women and I know I definitely had that experience when I lived there. Um, and it was easier there than say awesome texas where there's a lot of there's a lot more bravado here. There's more masculinity here. So if you're going to out masculine another dude like you know you better have 5 million in your bank account in a and a fast car. Yeah.

16:57.78

Max Shank

Just got back from a bull riding competition. You got a 10 pound belt buckle that sort of thing.

17:03.67

mikebledsoe

Yeah, you need guns and trucks and land. These are the things and big houses. But ah yeah, it's different. So like if you just have if you just and and embody that masculine energy like you're saying.

17:09.60

Max Shank

Right? It's totally different thing I think that.

17:21.51

mikebledsoe

Most of society has gotten soft and so if you're able if you're if you're a stronger not just physically stronger. But you're emotionally strong Mentally, you're developed. You're if you're developed in these ways in a in a masculine way. Yeah, women will come flocking. It'll be hard to keep them away.

17:41.38

Max Shank

Um, well and I think the the biggest thing in my opinion is ah approaching it from an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset like if you ask a lady out and she says no and you get emotionally crushed to the point that you don't ask any more ladies out. That's not good if you get into any relationship at all just because you're afraid you won't be able to find anyone else who likes you. That's not going to work at all That's going to be a scarcity mindset too and I think the same thing happens with guys. Staying in relationships is because they are living in a scarcity mindset where they're like oh I'll I'll never find anyone else and so you have to become resilient to the word. No. Because it's not just about getting every lady to say Yes, it's about having your request be like a filter so you find someone who resonates with you and I'm talking more about like who you actually want to spend time with than just sex I don't think. I Don't think it's too valuable for for us to just like teach people how to like hook up with random people at the bar I think that's simple and straightforward enough.

19:03.51

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and with all the apps out there now I think it's pretty easy and if you can write some good copy on your tinder account I think you'll be just fine. Yeah.

19:11.58

Max Shank

Right? Just buy a puppy and be rich and you're be fine.

19:19.63

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah, so being in a satisfying relationship. That's interesting. 1 thing I want to cover that I'd like to address here is ah and if there's any ladies left by this point that this would be. They're gonna love hearing it but the way I the way I look at it is women pretty much.

19:32.87

Max Shank

They're gone.

19:38.47

mikebledsoe

Drive We We already said this drive all male behavior like women are in charge when women start complaining that that men are in charge home going. You lost you don't you don't see what's going on here men make money because. Want to attract women all these things but I think it comes From. It's an evolutionary thing where you know it used to be the biggest strongest guy was the 1 who got the woman and it was the you know got to where it they you started being judged on your intellect and I think that.

20:03.98

Max Shank

Um, a.

20:15.19

mikebledsoe

That's there's a big argument for that's what's driven the evolution of consciousness is the more you can develop your intellect as a man the more more valuable you'll become and the more status you'll have So it's I think so I think so but but.

20:26.94

Max Shank

Um, is it because you can provide more though I think so too.

20:34.27

mikebledsoe

And which way can you provide big strong can kill shit protect or do the same exact thing because you're you're loaded with a bunch of money and and you know how to use it.

20:43.26

Max Shank

Way more. The latter nowadays you know like your your martial arts capacity is like the last thing on most ladies minds number 1

20:48.26

mikebledsoe

Nowadays. Yeah, that's where we got.

20:59.31

Max Shank

A guy with 20 years of martial arts experience will lose to a guy with 1 day of firearms experience. So there's almost no point in being big and strong from a self-defense standpoint whatsoever and the likelihood of any physical violence is so low you can create way more. Force and power you have more power just being able to write a check and being able to use language. Well.

21:22.75

mikebledsoe

Yeah, people want to get along people deep down they they avoid conflict most so I I don't mind conflict I I find it fun. It's like a little bit of.

21:38.47

Max Shank

I disagree on you're wrong.

21:41.52

mikebledsoe

I fuck with it a bit and I noticed I noticed that a lot of people there. A lot of people are not that way. Ah y'all start I'll step into a conflict and people fold really quick. Um, and I'd I'd say I run into ten percent of people out there. Okay, with conflict other people.

21:53.49

Max Shank

The.

22:01.39

mikebledsoe

They they just want to avoid it at all costs I think I think you're right like it's it's safety in 2021 physical safety. It's pretty. You know, not saying that violence can't happen but have a gun there. You go no.

22:13.14

Max Shank

Yeah, it's rare. Yeah, you don't need to be like super buff. Most ladies don't care because that has changed right? The aesthetic over time for women has changed the desirability of men has totally changed.

22:29.29

mikebledsoe

Yeah, they like skinny guys now like being skinny is in which was when I was a kid that was the last thing you wanted to be. Yeah.

22:38.14

Max Shank

Not no, you were so it was called Scrawny back Then. And and ladies I mean it used to be. They were supposed to be plump like Victorian Era type of thing and then we had some stuff happen a little thicker well and then it.

22:52.92

mikebledsoe

Ah, well up until Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe was she's a thick woman and then.

23:05.25

Max Shank

Swung back around to like the supermodel phase of the Ninety s where you have 6 with tall women who weigh 1 hundred pounds and you're like oh my god like it looks like skeletor right? and then now I think it's kind of circled back around to the thick ladies.

23:13.69

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:20.56

mikebledsoe

Yeah I'm loving that I yeah I need a little I don't like him too skinny I tried I tried the 2 skinny ones didn't wasn't as pleasurable. Be honest, got to try it all out. Yeah yeah.

23:33.22

Max Shank

You got to find out what you like you got to find out what you like that's it. Um, it does sort of circle us back to if you're ready to talk about how to choose the right person I mean we can.

23:40.36

mikebledsoe

Take a 1 more little meat on her bones. You know.

23:48.20

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, we should? Yeah, we we just.

23:52.64

Max Shank

We could just talk about what ah physical traits we like in ladies but just watch all the female listeners just slowly go away if you're a lady and you made it past me saying women are judgmental then I so.

23:57.74

mikebledsoe

Ah, all right, all right? Ah I'll let you.

24:11.92

Max Shank

really support that thank you that's really nice ah yeah thank you for the support. Ah so it comes back to that scarcity idea. It's possible to just date 1 lady and have her be the 1 and.

24:13.10

mikebledsoe

Thank you for the support ladies. Yeah.

24:31.12

Max Shank

Get married and have a family would you say that's a little bit risky.

24:36.41

mikebledsoe

Boy it doesn't sound like you're diversifying your portfolio seems like an all eggs in 1 basket.

24:40.48

Max Shank

well well I mean all your eggs in 1 basket is more like the argument for being polyamorous I just mean like sampling sampling different personality types.

24:54.97

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah before you before you go into a marriage.

24:59.85

Max Shank

Yeah, because I think having ah a relationship can be 1 of the best things ever or possibly the worst thing ever. That's why I think it's such a good topic because there's that saying behind every ah.

25:09.64

mikebledsoe

Well.

25:16.37

Max Shank

Great man is a strong woman I'm guessing a woman came up with that quote had to have been right? but but also behind every like broken suicidal man is 1 or many women who made his life miserable now it's probably his own fault. But I'm saying is.

25:30.31

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

25:35.78

Max Shank

Both ways. Male female. A relationship can be like a crazy boost that defies the laws of physics or it can be ah like a poison that you take every day.

25:50.68

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, totally agree.

25:52.60

Max Shank

I mean I've seen it I've seen it both ways and how can you choose? Well if you don't interact with multiple types of person.

26:04.80

mikebledsoe

Well this is this is a really big challenge because I don't think people really appreciate how long we as human beings have been choosing our marriage partners. It's like 100 years old I think prior. The further back you go the more arranged marriages you're going to see and americans I think have probably been on the cutting edge of choosing your your mate ah to the rest of the world. Ah, and ah the wealthy. You know I think kept it around longer than the poor I think the poor were more into choosing than the wealthy the wealthy were you know is all part about it was playing a role in joining together families. And yeah, political and financial. So so this idea of you choosing a mate.

26:51.95

Max Shank

It's poor political.

27:01.43

mikebledsoe

Is is very very interesting because it's it's new it choosing your mate is new and then not only that the amount of choices I went on bumble and it's it's overwhelming I mean I I would sit there and I could swipe through. Ah, hundred women in five minutes and you know rewind a hundred years or further back ago and that might have been how many women you've ever met in the first twenty years of your life. You know you may have met your.

27:33.60

Max Shank

That there are times where you wouldn't meet a hundred women who weren't your family members.

27:39.00

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, and so like this idea that we now get to choose a mate and previously it was like you know what you get the the cards you were dealt. It's kind of like your looks right? It's like oh your face looks like that you're stuck with that rest of your life. Think that's how ah marriage was probably seen back then is yeah, you're just going to marry this person or you know you get out of these 3 women. You're probably going to you know, end up with 1 of them might as well start courting and so I only bring that up because. You know if we look at the generations if I look at all right? My dad definitely picked my mom and they met from different sides of the country. Um, they came together in 1 spot but were were nowhere near each other they they had a lot of options but then I look at my my dad's dad grew up in a town of four hundred. my dad grew up in a town of four Hundred he's like fortunate like he was on that cusp of he left his hometown in his late teens for adventure and found my mom now my grandfather was a town of.

28:48.69

Max Shank

I.

28:54.18

mikebledsoe

400 and married a woman from that talent at 400 right so he probably his the amount of choices he had was probably you know a dozen you know.

28:55.18

Max Shank

Ah.

29:05.72

Max Shank

It's probably a lot more clearly defined gender roles within a marriage at that time too though.

29:09.96

mikebledsoe

That as well and if you look back at his father who the fuck knows like they they had such so I only I bring all that up to to create this context and give ourselves a little bit of grace for. If we're if we seem like we're not not max and I I mean we can give us grace too but give yourself grace if you're fumbling around in relationships a bit because most of the things that are happening in relationship are new choosing a mate for yourself. That's new without having parents heavily. Ah.

29:49.53

mikebledsoe

Influencing it. So yeah I just bring that up because give ourselves some grace and we're all learning and I think it's a skill that you're gonna have to get even better at in the future because choice is only going up.

30:01.35

Max Shank

Well I think that is a really good point that you are always learning and so people change within the course of a relationship and that relates to what we're talking about with arranged marriages like right now. I'm pretty sure you could fact check me on this I'm pretty sure that right now it's still common plaque common practice in some parts of india to marry off your 12 year old daughter to a 30 year old dub.

30:30.61

mikebledsoe

Yeah, was it up? Well yeah I think so well I saw a news story Yesterday a girl in Afghanistan was a 12 year old girl was sold for two thousand dollars in afghanistan and you know it's probably propaganda from cnn basically. Trying to make the taliban look like a bunch of dicks which they probably are a bunch of dicks. But um, anyways I don't think that's specific to the taliban I think there's just a bunch of dudes out there a bunch of dicks. But ah.

30:49.93

Max Shank

That seems really cheap.

31:01.26

Max Shank

Well I think that's ah sort of what we're talking about you know? ah a lady has that intrinsic value. You couldn't sell like a boy for that price. Probably.

31:17.43

mikebledsoe

Yeah, women are gonna be more expensive are gonna cost more has more value there. So.

31:24.80

Max Shank

So okay, we're into arranged marriages which is like hey this is just how it is and there was no concept of divorce and then you know the story of King James King James bible.

31:42.34

mikebledsoe

Nah. Thanks! So yeah, please tell it? yeah.

31:42.88

Max Shank

1 of my favorite stories ever he but you know he's a he's Good. Ah Catholic guy I Want to say Catholic Christian something like that he was He was hip with the bible and then he was married to this lady. He's like fuck I got to get out of this thing and they're like sorry church doctrine says no go and he's like we're gonna have to rewrite this book and so and so they did now you have the the King James bible which is like yeah divorce is okay Now. And I think that's hilarious I think that it's okay to play it either way. It's okay to want to stick it out and try to make it work and it's also okay to be thankful that for the time that you had with somebody.

32:21.67

mikebledsoe

To what.

32:36.62

Max Shank

And and move on with your life I think it's I think it's important to understand that people do grow in different ways. So this whole idea of till death to us part is like a really good idea. It. It seems meaningful but also I mean people do. Change people go through midlife crisis people go through just constant evolution and people grow differently sometimes sometimes you grow the same get intertwined and sometimes you grow in polar opposite directions and you have nothing left in common anymore.

33:08.22

mikebledsoe

Yeah I'll throw in my ah I'll throw in a vulnerable share of the day. So the ah so I was made for 9 years huh

33:19.90

Max Shank

You're bisexual. What's that huh.

33:25.50

mikebledsoe

I was married for 9 years and so greedy bunch of bastards just pick aside. Um so I'm actually really jealous of of people can go both ways. Oh yeah.

33:30.17

Max Shank

Bisexual is just greedy so greedy double dipping not cool man.

33:43.57

Max Shank

Um, yeah, it's greedy. It's amazing. Yeah.

33:45.22

mikebledsoe

Yeah, they have double the opportunity. Yeah so I was made for 9 years and ah, you know we we so parted ways about 2 and a half years ago now. Um. Ah, when when I got married I don't think she's gonna listen to this I'll I'll over share a bit but we'll see yeah, ah, when we were first married like.

34:10.80

Max Shank

This will be the first 1 She listens to no question.

34:21.83

mikebledsoe

We were a certain type of person I I know ah she was full of Insecurity I was full of Insecurity I was ah fairly I was very stressed out all the time I was ah yeah I was. I was fearful around relationships specifically I had a scarcity mentality I you know I I look back and and you know I made some decisions based on the wrong reasons and the reason I did that is because nobody can I never heard anyone tell me the right reasons you would want to be married.

34:57.87

Max Shank

And.

34:59.60

mikebledsoe

Like I I remember growing up in church and hearing things but like now that I'm forty was married for 9 years and I'm in ah, a really ah relationship I'm stoked about for a year and a half and now I can see I can see things so much clearly now and. And the advice that I would give somebody who's 25 or what was I was 27 when I got married twenty eight the advice I would give that person is no 1 gave me the advice I would give me now and but so some of it has to do with. Who you're surrounding yourself with and this before podcast before I get all enlightening shit. But ah so so enlightened. Yeah, yeah, that's usually it. Ah so ah.

35:42.46

Max Shank

So enlightened. That's what all the enlightened people say I'm I'm just so enlightened.

35:56.82

mikebledsoe

So I look back and go Wow! It's just a lot of core wounding. There's like a lot of lot of emotional wounds. A lot of insecurity that was driving a lot of the decisions during that time which made us a perfect couple we were we were meant to be together. We matched lock and key.

36:08.73

Max Shank

You matched Harm eyes. Yeah.

36:14.25

mikebledsoe

Yeah, like she she had like the ways in which I showed up for her was probably how she wished her dad would show up for her and and so on and so forth and so over the years the relationship it was 1 of those things where as we. Healed a lot of those wounds and didn't have the same insecurities popping up and and a lot of that just didn't matter anymore. You know, certain things didn't bother me anymore and I and I was open to more of my own desires versus what I was scared of losing and. During that time. We also improved our communication skills. We went to workshops and improved how to communicate I attended relationship workshops I did a lot of a lot of my personal development was how to improve relationships in general and so while. While I was in a relationship that what bound us together began to dissolve I also was getting better at relationships. So it was. It was like the relationship would get hard and then would get easier and so I was in this I was in this relationship I was like oh that is really hard. Don't know if I can make it.

37:15.17

Max Shank

Live.

37:30.00

mikebledsoe

And then I learned some way new way of relating and I changed something about myself and then like oh now we're jam and this is great and then we'd hit another hard stop and it really I got to the point where I go oh that that the core thing that has been binding us together for so long that's gone and.

37:45.92

Max Shank

Ah.

37:48.77

mikebledsoe

Now it's about just trying to make this relationship work because we've been in it for so long and so yeah, yeah, and um, you know and when I when I left that relationship there. It took me.

37:54.23

Max Shank

Sunk cost policy.

38:07.79

mikebledsoe

It's been 2 and a half years it has not been that long for a nine year relationship 2 and a half years is not that long. So I still It's like every day that goes by I experience this less. It's almost nothing. It's probably a few times a week at this point, there's this guilt that may come up it. It. Kind of like this question comes up with could I have done something differently or could I have been a different way or I see myself in my current relationship where I'm doing things for her that my ex wanted me to do for her but I just didn't do.

38:39.77

Max Shank

Um.

38:43.87

mikebledsoe

Or I was for for some reason I was incapable in that moment and even though I tried and now I'm witnessing myself. Do it with ease and then I feel a little bit of guilt like oh why is it that I can do this so easily now it's so difficult then um, and so it's It's a very interesting thing to have.

38:50.94

Max Shank

Yeah, yeah.

39:02.44

Max Shank

That's a big deal.

39:03.58

mikebledsoe

Been and yeah, been in a nine year relationship and be able to look at it and go oh yeah, and and I'm very fortunate because when I left the relationship. You know there was there was a good year where a little over a year we were working on it before we split like we was we we knew that we this was a possibility.

39:16.11

Max Shank

Ah.

39:22.73

mikebledsoe

And ah yeah, what I what I made sure of when I loved that relationship is I didn't want to bring any of the bullshit into the next relationship or go you know what I need to make sure that I'm I like clean here I don't want. Ah.

39:33.12

Max Shank

Whatever.

39:42.38

mikebledsoe

Even though we we still ended up splitting I had to make sure that it wasn't me. It wasn't like something that was 1 hundred percent me that was that was the problem because I knew that that would just show up in the next relationship and I don't want to do that to somebody else and so ah so i. Um, in my my experience I largely did that and then splitting up I had a year where I really focused on myself and I did date a little bit but man a lot of lessons there too.

40:12.71

Max Shank

Yeah I think that guilt that you were talking about is really um, it's nice that you feel comfortable sharing that I've definitely felt that myself. Basically every relationship I've ever been in is I Always think what I could have done differently whether it's a.

40:27.76

mikebledsoe

Um, a.

40:31.51

Max Shank

Business relationship or romantic relationship. Ah professional project was just telling someone the other day that as soon as I finish teaching a course I think of like 10 things I wish I had done different as soon as I finished launching a product I'm like oh God should have done this this and this different as soon as the relationships. And I'm like oh man I could have done this this and this and you you got to be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing the best you can with what you got based on how you think and feel at the time you know and so it's important not to drag any of the Bs along with you.

40:52.23

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

41:03.28

mikebledsoe

Yeah, so.

41:10.22

Max Shank

But you still want to remember those lessons So I'm really appreciative of all the relationships that I have had and I try to keep the lessons that I've learned and I try to focus on the things that I did like because then you also have a good frame of reference. For whatever relationship you're in now and you know you don't want to get into like comparison syndrome or something like that. But it's good to know. Um what you like and what you don't like and get comfortable drawing drawing boundaries and saying this is what I'm willing to um trade off or sacrifice. For what I'm willing to give what I'm willing to get out of a relationship. What I'm looking for in a relationship and I think that maybe the most important thing to realize is if you can't say no then you're basically a slave like if you can't say. You can't say no to something then you're you'll just be eroded over Time. So You're not really yourself.

42:10.41

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, that.

42:26.23

mikebledsoe

I'll find the thought.

42:38.44

Max Shank

Yeah I think it's natural to judge ourselves especially when a relationship ends any anytime something finishes I think it's normal to say like oh what could I have done different. It's also probably common to viciously attack the character of the other person and say it's all their fault.

42:48.71

mikebledsoe

Well probably.

42:56.90

mikebledsoe

I Think that's the most common. Yeah, that's more common than yeah I mean's a mix of both I'm sure but you know we we can judge our previous self harshly because we've learned the lesson now we didn't know then where we didn't know it well enough then.

42:57.47

Max Shank

So you don't want to get into that trap either.

43:09.21

Max Shank

Yeah.

43:14.10

mikebledsoe

To take action on it or you didn't know how to do it. But after the fact you look back and go I know how to do that and then that's another reason to to give yourself a little bit of grace but you were digging into boundaries and um, yeah, the boundaries has been 1 of the most important things. Oh yeah, what I would that remind me of. Is well we can talk about boundaries later. But what I want to dig in here based on what you were just saying is when I said hey I want to I want to reengage with my dating life again and which I mean in my first marriage I was also dating other women.

43:45.80

Max Shank

The.

43:52.29

mikebledsoe

It was completely open. We were completely transparent about it. It was so it wasn't like I had gotten back up now the way I approached dating was very different. It felt very different from you know when I was married it was just like okay I'm gonna go have fun with this person when I was single it was like.

44:02.75

Max Shank

The.

44:11.38

mikebledsoe

I Had this experience of oh this could be something more and so it's like the pressure went up on it to a degree where which was surprising to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was actually interesting to watch myself. Ah, yeah, Wow I actually desire to be in a relationship.

44:17.56

Max Shank

Right before it was a play date before it was a play date Now you're playing for keeps. Basically.

44:29.37

Max Shank

Ah.

44:31.27

mikebledsoe

Ah, and so ah, what I did was I I was sitting with my coach at the time he's actually in Encinitas and he says to me. Ah well,, you're very interested in women even though you're you're newly divorced and. All that you seem to attract women pretty easily and you like being in a relationship you like to be with women like yeah, that's all Accurate. He goes well I would write down what it is you want in a woman and because basically. I was working with him during you know all that leading up to my divorce and afterwards and what he saw was when you're when you're breaking away from a relationship. It is very difficult to see what it is. You do want you? you primarily see all the things you don't want or what you don't like.

45:25.87

Max Shank

The.

45:27.76

mikebledsoe

Like I want out of this I don't want this anymore and so it was I remember it was very hard for me to shift the gears into focusing on what I did want from a woman or maybe not from her but ah of a woman versus what I didn't want. And the list of didn't was so you can translate this the the list of don't wants can really inform you your do wants you can make all your list of like I don't want this this and this and go what's the opposite of that. So um, that's how I started I started I was like you know what? I don't want all this shit.

45:59.55

Max Shank

10

46:06.70

mikebledsoe

So I do want this and what I did was I swung really hard and I went to the other side of the spectrum and and then dated a woman who was the opposite of my ex and in a lot of ways. Um, and.

46:19.40

Max Shank

And.

46:23.69

mikebledsoe

And my coach even I remember got a chuckle at it's like dude you you just went the other direction hard like how's that going I'm like I'm loving it and then crash and burn is like no I don't love that and I realized that there were a lot of traits that I thought were valuable and this is going back to your your point early on which is.

46:27.61

Max Shank

No.

46:42.76

mikebledsoe

Good to try out a lot of different types of people when dating and looking at different. You know what type of personality traits all this stuff. There was a lot of things that I imagined that I desired. But for instance I desired a woman that was ah like financially independent I wasn't going to need to take care of them all this kind of stuff. So I ended up dating a woman who made like 2 to 3 times the amount of money I was making and it was It was really exciting I was like oh cool like I don't have to cover everything and she doesn't mind this and that and I get to go have lavish experiences and.

47:14.42

Max Shank

And.

47:19.66

mikebledsoe

Fivestar hotels and all this shit Ca Bana Boy Mike Yeah, so and I make good money so like ah for her to make triple like she's banking. She's you know? and so I but then I was like oh the emotional availability of this person is just nothing.

47:21.45

Max Shank

Cabana Boy mike.

47:39.10

mikebledsoe

And I was like oh I I didn't have that written down because it was just a like to me I think it was probably a given but I wasn't focused on it consciously so I wasn't choosing it. So then I go you know what I don't care. She doesn't have to be filthy rich she ah because I actually put down the intention I Want to date someone who makes more money to me.

47:44.38

Max Shank

And.

47:56.93

Max Shank

I Thought that was gonna be your advice for the listeners is just marry a rich girl. Ah.

47:59.50

mikebledsoe

And. Um, yeah, well, you know if she's self-made that could be a good thing if she's not good luck. Um, because I've I over the years I I dated some ah some rich girls when I was younger I was like in my teens but ah what a pain. So what I did was I kept refining my list I kept refining and writing down like what I wanted in a woman and then I got to a point where well I then went celibate for seven months. The first hundred days was on purpose and then. The rest of the time I was sell that was due to covid. So I basically I was gonna end my Ninety my hundred day was gonna be like the beginning of March like I was like about to get back in the game covid hit and then so I had to wait another few months to get back in. But um, yeah, during that time lot of reflection.

48:41.90

Max Shank

And.

48:49.40

Max Shank

Avenue. Ah.

48:59.36

mikebledsoe

And so when I did meet the person I'm with now she really does check all the boxes and I I think it is part of it is I did the work of finding Out. What is it that I really want somebody and things that I thought were valuable like. Aren't as bad but like I I value emotional development over money for sure.

49:26.64

Max Shank

It's really valuable to write those things down and what's interesting is I've done the same thing. The list of things that you want is also the best way you can show up in a relationship.

49:39.25

mikebledsoe

Show like.

49:42.90

Max Shank

Like it just turns right back on you, you're like dammit This is like how I can best be in a relationship too. You know it's not just like ah okay, ah, pretty lady here's a list of things I want from you and she's like great. She hands you the list back and's like yeah I want that too and you're like fuck.

49:46.47

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

49:59.41

mikebledsoe

I Well I think there's I think there's some I think that's partly true. Ah, you know, kind of like the treat ah treat others the way you want to be treated. Um, but really the.

50:02.41

Max Shank

Ah, yeah.

50:13.33

Max Shank

Oh I don't think that's true. Yeah.

50:16.51

mikebledsoe

Yeah, you want to treat people the way they want to be treated so like in a relationship that probably is the ways in which you could show up better but also be on the lookout for what is it they want and how they like for me I I could I could do with less touch and my relationship like.

50:33.54

Max Shank

Well.

50:36.37

mikebledsoe

Um I I love touch I'm a high touch person but my girlfriend's even more so so like she has to remind me like are you gonna touch me I'm like oh okay, yeah, and I appreciate the reminder. But if I touched her as much as I wanted to be touched. She would not be satisfied.

50:41.16

Max Shank

Um. Right.

50:52.68

Max Shank

As long as you're both willing to communicate that then it can work out. Okay, and as long as you understand what's going on there then it's okay, but like I think shying away from direct Crystal clear communication.

50:57.13

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

51:11.60

Max Shank

Is maybe perceived as not very sexy sometimes but also it's the main reason that people quietly suffer in a relationship they're like in their head I'm not getting what I want but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep things really smooth and it's like no, that's not.

51:15.48

mikebledsoe

It.

51:30.66

Max Shank

That's not going to work Meanwhile if you have like 2 gay guys and they're both tops. There's no confusion there because no 1 is going to be happy in that situation. You need a top and you need a bottom and you know you understand what I'm saying like they're they're not going to. Well.

51:45.83

mikebledsoe

I get it I do it I know how I know how gay people do it? yeah.

51:50.23

Max Shank

I've met a lot. Ah I've met a lot of gay guys. Um, yeah, what? Ah what a fun bunch of fellows. Um, but yeah, there's no, there's no mincing words there is what I've noticed. It's like I am ah I am a top I am a bottom. Ah great.

52:01.62

mikebledsoe

Is what it's what.

52:09.87

Max Shank

Um, a bottom. It's not going to work. There's no,, There's no compatibility there and the same thing is true with asking for what you want out of a relationship and being clear on what the expectations are and I think of a relationship. Ah, like a romantic 1 is really a lot more like ah, a business partnership than anything Else. You are building a life together and you need to have more or less an operating agreement just as just like you would need in any other business like. You know I'll get the food and you cook the food and you do this and I'll do this and this and you know we have our responsibilities So There's no confusion about who's responsible for what and there's none of that um lack of clarity that can make people start to. Quietly Harbor resentment which is a huge problem. So if you don't ask for what you want and you get resentful. That's on you.

53:13.35

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah I think for a lot of people. They don't even know what they want so they I I yeah.

53:20.32

Max Shank

Yeah, we'll shoot. Don't most people choose partners just based on how pretty they look by the way I think that if you prioritize that above everything else, You're probably going to have. Ah, relationship that is really challenging at some point.

53:41.43

mikebledsoe

I've never seen anyone who valued that over everything else have a ah long happy relationship.

53:46.59

Max Shank

Well because a relationship you know, even if you're doing a lot of sex. It's still like four percent of your day. It's an ah, an hour is four percent. The rest of the the rest of the time there's got to be other things that keep you interested.

54:02.63

mikebledsoe

Yeah, I'm not remembering who who told me this but ah, probably some relationship guru. Ah and which is sex is there to bridge the gap so that you have time to build the.

54:05.28

Max Shank

You know what.

54:09.27

Max Shank

Um, and.

54:21.29

mikebledsoe

Foundation of the relationship and if you make sex the foundation of the relationship. It's not going to last because like I said the beginning of the show. The first six months of relationship you're on drugs you're high. You're not, you're not thinking straight your hormones and.

54:22.23

Max Shank

Are.

54:29.10

Max Shank

Yeah, right? no.

54:40.77

mikebledsoe

Neurotransmitters are firing very differently than they will be in a year from now. Ah when you're relating to the same person so sex is a you know great sex I think for me isn't I need great sex I I will if I if I'm not getting that i. Begin to wander pretty easily. Um I mean I got high sex drive or something.

55:02.50

Max Shank

I Don't think there's anything I don't think there's anything wrong with that I think recognizing that things are changing in a way that you don't like is extremely valuable and it kind of correlates back to another important point which is if you're not. Comfortable by yourself. You probably won't be able to make the right choice for a relationship.

55:29.60

mikebledsoe

That's true. Yeah I the relationship I'm in I was I actually went this whole process where I was because I didn't know what was going to happen with a pandemic I'm like oh maybe I'm single for the rest of my life. Maybe there was a moment where that was like in the first the first month of it.

55:43.40

Max Shank

Oh yeah, what.

55:47.10

mikebledsoe

Was going world seems pretty chaotic I don't know if I'm gonna find a mate anytime soon. It might be a while I might as well enjoy me and without a partner. Um, yeah, what was I saying before that feel like we jumped tracks I was on to go back.

55:51.70

Max Shank

Um, ah.

56:05.70

mikebledsoe

Um, and my memory is not go ahead.

56:07.47

Max Shank

What you're the you you were talking about that. Um, you have a certain level of touch desire. Your lady has a slightly higher 1 Great sex is important to you but it's not the only thing you said sex is the bridge to build the foundation of other stuff.

56:21.71

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, yeah, the. But yeah, the set sex will hold 2 people together long enough to build that foundation. But if you don't spend time building the other aspects of your relationship aligning your boundaries aligning your values your vision of the future together. If. You don't take care of that in the first six months you probably won't it probably won't last and if you do make the choice to stay in a relationship and you don't have those things I would I would challenge you to look at whether you're with that person out of insecurity versus.

56:56.80

Max Shank

Um, it's really more like codependence and you're not willing to cut your losses even though it's the right choice I mean that is 1 of the most common fallacies in relationships is the sunk cost fallacies. Well I've been with this person it. So I'll stay with this person and it's like.

56:58.77

mikebledsoe

Out of true desire.

57:04.43

mikebledsoe

Right.

57:13.18

mikebledsoe

In here.

57:16.80

Max Shank

No, it's the same as ah, owning stock or owning possessions. It's not what I keep this. It's would I buy this today brand new again and if the answer is no then like what are you doing like yeah.

57:32.20

mikebledsoe

That's.

57:36.79

Max Shank

Oh man, it really is That's why I was so interested to talk about this and it's funny how you and I were just both thinking about the same thing because the whole concept of I know we both just were like how about relationships because it is I think the.

57:44.37

mikebledsoe

If we didn't know what we were gonna talk about 2 hours ago. You know.

57:56.24

Max Shank

The number 1 greatest thing ever is having ah like a loving romantic relationship or even just loving relationships in general and the worst thing is to have a relationship that is ah the source of Resentment. You know the source of settling for for less and it it can be really really good or really, really Awful. So It's probably the most important choice to make.

58:18.67

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think.

58:27.21

mikebledsoe

I would say there was a there was a ah early my relate. You know my previous relationship there was I would work to get away I would I was always wanting to travel you know business conference signed me up. You know, just a little bit of relief here and there.

58:39.61

Max Shank

The.

58:45.81

mikebledsoe

And but now I find myself now wanting to like I want to work to provide for the the family like I want to set things up so that we can spend more time together and when we travel apart.

59:01.59

Max Shank

Yeah, perfect.

59:03.60

mikebledsoe

Um, like I miss her and like it's it's it's oh I wish she could be with me instead of you know, whatever so and she actually has been traveling more than me which is ah that's a first as well is well that's not the first time I've been in relationship where they they were traveling more but it's ah.

59:12.68

Max Shank

And.

59:21.36

mikebledsoe

In a relationship that's lasted this long being with somebody who travels as much as she does is like okay.

59:25.45

Max Shank

So when you were a little younger you were traveling a lot and not ah not getting too attached kind of so it's really funny like because you know I traveled a ton for work and I think I also.

59:32.23

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, okay.

59:44.60

Max Shank

Had this idea that if I was desirable to women then that was the best thing so I wouldn't want to be in a relationship I would just want to be like coveted which sounds pretty like twisted I guess but that's just the way I was so I wouldn't even I wouldn't even date people who lived close to me they had to. Live like really far away so it was like totally clear like hey we're just we're just having fun. There's like nothing to because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But I also thought that my worth as a person was directly correlated. Whether. As to whether as to how I was judged by women if I was desirable isn't that funny.

01:00:24.38

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, have a similar experience which is ah I was married and then like I just I wanted to be seen as desirable. So I had to walk I know a party with 2 women on my arms like instead of just 1 ne's not enough.

01:00:37.90

Max Shank

Yeah, right.

01:00:41.63

mikebledsoe

Have 2 I got to show that I got to show everybody that I'm desirable I'm good enough.

01:00:44.70

Max Shank

And that's what I would come in with 3 and that's when I would come in with 3 because that meant I was 1 lady better than you.

01:00:54.89

mikebledsoe

I wish that scene actually did go down like I walk in with 2 I'm like you walk in with 3 like fuck man. He beat me again.

01:00:56.94

Max Shank

It's like that would have been. Then Jay-z walks in with 21 of them is beyonce and we're just like I guess he wins it's It's funny. Ah, how direct that message is. Like popular culture and especially music like it's all about like cars and planes and hoes and that's like the value of a man is like how many hose he has poolside and his mansion and what kind of plane.

01:01:26.72

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:01:35.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, is a thing 1 thing occurred to me in this conversation which I'm I'm having a lot of appreciation for myself and that I never thought I'd be as good with women as I am today? Um, um, ah I did become quite the ladies man I can I can work a room. I can pick up women I can ask them out on dates fairly easy. And yeah, when I was younger I was terrified that I would never be attractive or be able to talk to women with confidence. So just conversations allowed me reflect on that. So it's.

01:02:11.79

Max Shank

I think I I did the same thing I put them up on a pedestal like they were some sort of otherworldly creature and they are in a certain sense. It's interesting because what we like about women is that they're different than men. But also what we hate about them.

01:02:12.24

mikebledsoe

Pretty cool.

01:02:31.78

Max Shank

Is the way that they're different from men most of the time. So So it's ah it's interesting. That's what makes relationships. Um fun I think is the differences but it's also what makes them challenging because you can't know what another person's. Life experience is like and you know I think maybe 1 other thought that is important is it's never personal like no 1 Ne's ever personally rejecting you? No 1 Ne's ever personally attacking you no 1 Ne's ever.

01:02:52.23

mikebledsoe

No.

01:03:09.75

Max Shank

Like lashing out at you. They're just in a state where their lizard brain has taken over because they feel afraid or they just want something different, but it's never personal to you as an individual what someone else does and I think that's that's probably pretty hard for.

01:03:23.34

mikebledsoe

So.

01:03:29.74

Max Shank

Most people too believe but it's true.

01:03:31.90

mikebledsoe

Yeah, not taking things personally is huge I think in general but in relationships yeah, that's in romantic relationships if you can master that 1 then that'll that'll help you out I mean my my girlfriend I have gotten into we've had 1 fight.

01:03:49.50

Max Shank

Or.

01:03:50.91

mikebledsoe

Many disagreements but were able to work it out 1 fight where I raised my voice and regretted it but um and quickly mended that is 1 of those where like the the switch got flipped. There's 3 o'clock in the morning you know I'll make up all sorts of excuses why it happened but ah.

01:04:05.98

Max Shank

Here Come the excuses.

01:04:10.57

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah, but now I forgot what I was talking about all the shame came rolling in. Um, yeah, so what was I talking about.

01:04:16.73

Max Shank

Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself for losing control for 1 minute.

01:04:30.30

mikebledsoe

I took nootropics this morning and I think they backfired my memory has been terrible on this show.

01:04:32.87

Max Shank

Oh gosh I am also cutting you off more than usual because I wanted to say a few things today.

01:04:38.86

mikebledsoe

Ah I think it's good I think I think it worked out my lack of memory here. It's perfect. Perfect I hope you got a lot of words in today.

01:04:47.10

Max Shank

yeah yeah I did I got in more than usual, um because that's you know how we assert our dominance in this conversation. Maybe maybe the folks at home can vote on which 1 of us is the dominant 1 in this podcast.

01:04:57.30

mikebledsoe

It's not. It's right? it.

01:05:05.77

mikebledsoe

Ah, we should just be a vote for every show you know who won who won this who won the match. It's like it's ah it's a podcast fight you know, um.

01:05:08.73

Max Shank

Yeah, yeah, who.

01:05:20.70

Max Shank

That's actually 1 of the things I like about our conversations and usually I find this is more true with talking to women as they don't interrupt and steamroll as much and they're better at listening.

01:05:31.84

mikebledsoe

And.

01:05:34.14

Max Shank

And I'm not trying to compare you to women at all I think I also have a more feminine conversational style where I feel comfortable just letting someone talk for a long time but it's very difficult to make any headway in a conversation if you are only talking with people who want to win the conversation.

01:05:51.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:05:53.91

Max Shank

Right? That's ah, that's a huge um handicap to your development if you don't have conversations with people who are good at listening and also thoughtful in the way that they respond.

01:06:08.15

mikebledsoe

Well the um I did a thousand I've done over 1000 podcast interviews where I've interviewed other people. Yeah, so in a lot of those podcasts for 2 to 3 hours I'd say they're between they range between ninety minutes and and 3 hours.

01:06:13.70

Max Shank

What.

01:06:27.69

mikebledsoe

So 1 of the things I note as 1 of the as something that was huge in my personal development was just doing the interviews just being interested in somebody else in a way that I know the audience would like so.

01:06:37.50

Max Shank

Okay.

01:06:46.53

mikebledsoe

Satisfying some of my own curiosity imagining the curiosity of my audience and making sure that those questions were asked. Um, you know there's a few times I talked over people I was interviewing and I got feedback that was being a dick um, and.

01:07:01.11

Max Shank

Ah.

01:07:05.17

mikebledsoe

I was called names a couple times and they were right? Ah so it's I think it's a matter of reps because I grew up in a home where it was about winning the conversation. There's a lot of yelling over each other and all that.

01:07:20.80

Max Shank

It takes a special kind of confidence though to be silent for a little bit longer I would say it's more valuable in conversations that are off the air like person to person conversations where you're not recording it for some interview. But.

01:07:35.47

mikebledsoe

But in.

01:07:40.28

Max Shank

Taking a pause to really consider what you want to say to that person is crazy valuable and ironically or surprisingly people will listen to you more attentively if you do that rather than just.

01:07:54.88

mikebledsoe

Or yeah.

01:07:59.24

Max Shank

But but but but but but words words, words are so when you're on a podcast. It's tough because part of what you're doing is you're like showcasing what you know right? So you want to be talk talk Talk Talk talk hey like I know about this hey I know about this hey look how smart I am look at all these things I remember like I can say these big fancy words.

01:08:05.11

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

01:08:15.96

mikebledsoe

Well that that also reminds me of um how I approach new relationships just not romanticic. But when I meet new people I've noticed this a couple times in the last month where I was in a car with somebody knew somebody I hadn't.

01:08:18.75

Max Shank

Ah, what.

01:08:25.21

Max Shank

Um.

01:08:36.20

mikebledsoe

Spent much time with I'm in a car with them 1 on 1 and I just don't say anything who sit there in silence and see what they do and then it's it. Most people will start small talk like ah so you know the weather.

01:08:41.35

Max Shank

Ah.

01:08:55.14

Max Shank

Because silence is uncomfortable.

01:08:55.27

mikebledsoe

Or my dog or super uncomfortable. So there have been a number of times where I'm with somebody and I'm being silent and then five minutes goes buying the go. Wow! This is really nice like yeah it is and it's like okay we can be friends like it's going to be a lot easier to be friends and. You're just trying to ah if you're feeling so uncomfortable that you have to just say shit. So.

01:09:20.12

Max Shank

You can enjoy a person's presence without words and without a touch either. You can just enjoy that a person is there with you and I think that's a great indicator that that person is comfortable in their own skin.

01:09:36.47

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:09:38.59

Max Shank

That they're comfortable around you I think that's a very good point is very telling babbling My ah my girlfriend was hanging out with somebody and she was.

01:09:42.38

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:56.97

Max Shank

She she calls me up afterward and she was like she just wouldn't be quiet. She it was just constant constant just spewage of words like any silence would be just crazy uncomfortable and sometimes you don't notice it.

01:10:04.71

mikebledsoe

Yeah, for.

01:10:10.83

mikebledsoe

My ah the.

01:10:16.18

Max Shank

Until you're ah you have the juxtaposition of someone who's very comfortable saying nothing and someone who would be like in physical pain if 5 seconds go by without words being said.

01:10:25.52

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, the damn. My memory really is fucked today.

01:10:35.34

Max Shank

Yeah, you're off today. It's it's all the it's all the shame associated from your checkered past.

01:10:42.97

mikebledsoe

I did just I did bring up about fifty percent of my pain on the in the last hour so

01:10:48.99

Max Shank

You laid it you laid it all out I I was like ah leaning back feeling very freudian I was like oh yes, now Michael telling me about your muzza. I feel like another half hour. We'll dig up every little bit of archeological pain.

01:11:07.47

mikebledsoe

Mark yeah well ah, what you were saying reminded me of ah something mark england from Vocabulary he has this he has this term he calls transcribing and it's when somebody starts telling you about something that happened. And they're just walking you through what happened with no there's no story. It's like and then you know I woke up this morning and they did it and they just like tell you about their day. You're like okay like and there's nothing to talk about.

01:11:28.66

Max Shank

And.

01:11:41.65

Max Shank

Isn't it merk with no purpose though I mean maybe a purpose of just getting attention because it depends how the story is framed right? I mean.

01:11:49.58

mikebledsoe

Well yeah, but it's not a story. It's just ah, it's a listing of things that happened and in chronological order which technically is a story.

01:11:56.67

Max Shank

Well it it. Yeah, it is a story because they're retelling it so that makes it a story. What I find is when people do that. It's usually because they're trying to paint themselves as a hero or a victim right.

01:12:10.89

mikebledsoe

A a.

01:12:14.45

Max Shank

Like oh I did this and then oh my god you won't believe what happened to me I was waiting in line and then they closed the line and I was like what you got to be kidding me so then I had to go to a different line and it took me ten minutes and that was late to pick up my kid. Oh I got I just can't handle this shit anymore and you're like oh gay all right like I get it. Oh.

01:12:24.21

mikebledsoe

Ah.

01:12:30.52

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the the things that some people tell stories about like oh if that that happened to you or me we wouldn't think anything of it like oh the line closed and there was no emotional upset so we wouldn't even remember to tell that story later.

01:12:46.66

Max Shank

Yeah, because it's not. It's not really valid and your life is your collection of stories that you bring with you and the stimuli that you experience and the more you retell a story the more gravity it has in your.

01:13:01.89

mikebledsoe

Like.

01:13:04.90

Max Shank

Life and in yourself. So I'm I'm really I would say careful to elect which stories that I perpetuate is so it's so important.

01:13:14.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, agree and be considerate people. Don't want to hear that shit people don't want to hear like like tell me good stories tell me something with a point you know I.

01:13:20.80

Max Shank

I Hate it.

01:13:28.97

Max Shank

Well, it doesn't it doesn't need to it doesn't need to have a point but it should maybe be funny at least? yeah so I think of it like I think of it like this I think of it I've told you about an energy vampires.

01:13:30.54

mikebledsoe

Yeah, just be considerate. That's how I got said well that would be a good point is the humor humor.

01:13:45.29

mikebledsoe

I'm gonna have I'm gonna have friends listening to this me like oh my God have I been inconsiderate This might think I'm a dick for like no everyone everyone everyone stops talking to me like I'm afraid to talk to him. He's judging me.

01:13:49.81

Max Shank

Yeah, no wonder he never calls me anymore. He must hate me. Yeah, the leper now. Um, it's like an energy vampireism right? People are trying to get.

01:14:04.65

mikebledsoe

Is.

01:14:08.71

Max Shank

Some energy from you for for just a story about how they are sad. Let's say in some way for simplicity's sake but it's just like with regular vampires if you don't invite that in they can't come in. No 1 if you draw a good boundary.

01:14:12.89

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

01:14:26.48

Max Shank

No 1 can do that to you and I think right now. Um, maybe it's just more front and center. But I've never seen more like victim stories told and retold I even felt myself doing it ah last year and I ah put the kaibosh on that because. It was easy for me to go like oh you know like f this is not fair. They can't like close my gym blah blah blah blah blah and you know all this all this stuff and I was like man max you gotta stop being such a bitch. Why don't you just focus on what you can do and stop telling that story and sure enough it did make things.

01:15:03.54

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

01:15:04.55

Max Shank

A ton better. So don't don't don't don't retell stories where you're the victim because you may get you probably will get um some psychic energy boost. You'll get some likes you might even get a hug or something like that. But the the cost is not worth.

01:15:23.51

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well I think we'll close it up there I think we we did a good job talking about relationships. So I say that like it was a question I think there's a lot of nuggets in there. There's a lot of things that I can think.

01:15:24.34

Max Shank

That benefit.

01:15:32.16

Max Shank

Yeah, we were all over the place I liked it? yeah.

01:15:42.11

mikebledsoe

I'm sure tomorrow I'd go oh there's 20 other things I could talk about so maybe there'll be a part 2 to relationships.

01:15:47.24

Max Shank

Yeah, we could get some feedback from the from the folks at home I mean hopefully by now they understand that the most important thing is just to marry a beautiful idiot.

01:16:02.23

mikebledsoe

Ah, oh and if you didn't get that joke man you were doomed max where can people find you.

01:16:03.17

Max Shank

Ah, yeah, do the yeah, do the opposite of that do the exact opposite of that um maxsank dot com I'm also at Maank although I'm not really using. Social media.

01:16:22.37

mikebledsoe

But he may in the future who knows ah you can find me on Instagram at mike underscore bloodso and if you're a coach and doing the coach thing. The strongcoach dot com that's all I got see you next week levy max

01:16:25.39

Max Shank

I might.

01:16:34.58

Max Shank

Thank you folks! Love you buddy.

Nov 15, 2021

00:00.56

mikebledsoe

That's how you already canceled you're bulletproof.

00:01.76

Max Shank

It's okay I already canceled myself so well, it's like I found I was putting so much of my identity into this illusion that I had masterfully crafted. On the internet I was like the dark night of fitness I was professional I was like once in a while a little bit funny I used all the big fancy words and I only showed people the exact slice of my life I wanted them to see and I was really good at it too and then I was like man this is a. Probably probably not good long term like this whole this whole reality that we've created where people think oh, that's just that's just max all the time I'm just out there. You know going on vacations and lifting huge things all the time and it's not really.. It's not really very honest. So of course I think we all do to fit in I think that's kind of normal and the best friends you have are the ones you don't have to fake around and truthfully.

00:57.30

mikebledsoe

Or you are censoring yourself. It sounds like.

01:15.83

Max Shank

I don't really hang out with too many people that I have to um, fake it around which is why I say some horrible things that are also really funny like if you've ever played the game would you rather? that's a really, that's a really good 1 Are you played would you rather.

01:20.66

mikebledsoe

Four.

01:30.62

mikebledsoe

No.

01:34.00

Max Shank

So here's it's a hypothetical game. So for example, would you rather have sex with a goat and have no 1 know about it or have a video of you having sex with a goat that's totally fake, but everyone thinks you did.

01:47.44

mikebledsoe

Oh that's a good 1 Yeah ah I'm gonna censor myself on that 1 actually I'm I'm having a hard time because yeah I think I might be on the same page as you on that 1 Ah.

01:56.14

Max Shank

I would have sex with the goat.

02:04.99

Max Shank

Is because there's still such a social stigma against bestiality right now we're not really enlightened about that.

02:07.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it's and.

02:13.34

mikebledsoe

Ah, well, it's interesting. What you're discussing is self-censorship is ah I hear people say they want to be more Authentic. You know I talk to a lot of people who want to express themselves on the internet and because I think people witnessed me do it and then they're like how do you do it I Want to do it too. And and and I'm definitely somebody Who's who's got a history of censoring myself less So these days than and earlier. But I think people deep down they desire not needing a sensor sensor themselves. They they want to. They want to be widely accepted by everybody but they think that the only way that can happen and it's probably true. The only way you can be popular with everybody is to censor yourself depending on the audience you're talking to and the person you're talking to.

03:03.58

Max Shank

It is the most important thing to fit in with the group that you're a part of to fit in with the tribe I mean little kids go Rob seven eleven s and murder people so they can be part of a gang people say things that they don't mean people lie I mean I was a kid once I used to lie.

03:16.69

mikebledsoe

Yep.

03:22.26

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah.

03:22.93

Max Shank

Did you ever lie I was great at it I had like think I had like 50 grandparents die as far as teachers knew growing up. Oh I decided I didn't do my homework a grandparents diet or something like that you know like when your're kid and you find out that lying is a.

03:29.54

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:42.50

Max Shank

Like a ten second uncomfortable experience that can save you like weeks of trouble. Potentially it's it's natural that you would do it and if you're talking about how to like fit in better. Oh my god of course we all do that.

03:49.94

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

03:57.67

mikebledsoe

Yeah, but would you say that everyone on of about everyone. But I think that everyone gets to a point at some point in their life where they don't want to have to censor themselves anymore and I think that they. When they are at that point the language they use to describe what they desire is they want to be free I Want to be free to express myself and ah and what ends up happening is when someone starts exploring how much they want to express themselves. Find out that they're the only ones that are censoring themselves based on wanting to be accepted by the tribe and the likeability and so I've witnessed a lot of people including myself go through this process where a slowly saying fuck it I don't give a fuck What people think. I'm going to be more honest and then watching watching the polarization happen where some people get become more distant from me the more honest I am and other people getting a lot closer because of how honest I am and it's a it's a filter and it's and it's.

04:57.20

Max Shank

And.

05:02.56

Max Shank

Well, it's just filter. It's a good thing. It's like panning for gold.

05:09.20

mikebledsoe

And it's really served me in a way where I experience my experience of my life is ah very enhanced. It's it's unreal at times. Um, and my sister she came to my birthday party a few weeks ago. And she got to witness my community and she was blown away. She didn't realize that people could be like that. But it really is a result of censoring myself less and attracting those people who and then giving permission to other people. Censor themselves less because I think you and I both say things that in. Probably me more publicly but say things that people turn their heads at and go well that's a crazy thing to say I've never heard anyone say that before or put it that way. Um, and I think I think it gives people permission to go oh if he can do it I can do it too.

05:58.42

Max Shank

Totally and. Well and there's something to be said about a frictionless experience like if you're in a situation where I guess what I'm saying is it's easy to put other people at ease with the way that you communicate. Like you don't have to draw attention to things that are like if you see someone who's really overweight. You don't have to draw attention to their fatness. You don't have to just speak whatever you instinctually think so we're always choosing what to say as if.

06:32.71

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, it doesn't mean doesn't mean that.

06:40.10

Max Shank

It's important or not important.

06:40.61

mikebledsoe

Well I would say it's um, yeah, censorship is a form of filter but it's not the only version of Filter. There's There's the the filter of of ah of response you're being responsible with your words and how people receive them. And so it wouldn't behoove me to go out there and tell everybody exactly what I think and the way that I want to say it now. What I do is I say things say what I believe and what I think in a way in which I know it can be received because there's no point and if I'm just saying. You know if I'm just dropping the truth. Ah the way that I want to be heard and understood I'm just going to sound like a crazy person.

07:27.50

Max Shank

Well, you just touched on something that I was thinking which is a good communicator doesn't just communicate the information as simply as possible. He considers who the audience is so it will resonate with them the best. So.

07:40.68

mikebledsoe

A.

07:46.26

Max Shank

The examples that you use or the language you use I mean you and I both understand the the power of communication and getting a resonant message if you and I were writing an exercise program. For 20 year old men or 50 year old women. The program itself might actually look the same but the way that we present that offer would be monumentally different or at least it should be monumentally different. So it's not just about.

08:18.78

mikebledsoe

A.

08:23.98

Max Shank

Oh I'm like speaking my truth. It's like well why are you talking at all unless you care about the message being received.

08:30.28

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well that but that makes me think of like like ah it it it requiring you to have good communication to get your point across in a way that they can receive it is that is ah a good sense. That's good. Ah. Leadership. That's good communication to have good leadership. You have to have good communication and what I think we're witnessing in our society right now is um, it's laziness I see that that censorship when when censorship is being heavily used. It's ah it's a form of laziness. And it's also um, on that note, what we were just saying too is you have to fit it to your audience. So what ends up happening is the larger the audience the harder it is to be good at communicating with that audience. So we we take the United states of America and there's 3 hundred and fifty million people. You now have to create ah get to communicate the narrative in a way that that impacts all 3 hundred million people is that even lowest common and nomin and is that possible and so.

09:35.80

Max Shank

Lowest common denominator.

09:42.63

mikebledsoe

And then that's why I mean lowest common denominator is the exact reason why any time the average per we look at what's happening with Mainstream I go they're going right? What's left. They're going left. What's right? Okay, what's going on here because when there's being to the low and lower. Low is coming denominator if you want to be average. That's the that's the perfect advice to take that's the perfect information to consume and to believe if you want to be above average. You have to go the other way and that that can be very uncomfortable but to me I look at the difference between good leadership and and. And poor leadership is that ability to communicate effectively and I just see a lot of laziness and when people say do this because I said so is like okay, you just lost it.

10:29.41

Max Shank

Well and the other side of that is that you could say it's not laziness. It's just efficiency because you have to trust like. For example, if I get a plumber over at my house. And I don't know anything about plumbing I have to trust that he's going to do a good job and there is an incentive for him to do good job and maybe there's a contract that says if the pipe explodes he's on the hook for it. So I don't blame people for seeking answers outside themselves because it is way more efficient. However, while it is more efficient. It is also so I think about it in terms of concentration of Power. So if you concentrate power into a single point you can get more penetration which means you can do things much faster like a dictatorship but the trick with concentration. Is. You also give leave yourself open to the fast track for concentration Camps. So it's It's ah it's just exactly so.

11:29.88

mikebledsoe

Yeah,, but there's also single single points of Failure. So if you if you concentrate your supply chain and everything's going through 1 2 3 ports or something like that. It only takes 1 person to do something Dumb. And the entire population suffers.

11:51.40

Max Shank

Investing is a good example too. You know you have your investment portfolio say you have a million dollars or something like that. Do you put equal amounts into 10 companies equal amounts into 1 hundred companies or do you put it all into 1 company and. If you put it all into 1 company and that 1 just happens to do the best you have made the most that you can possibly make. But if it goes to zero. You've also lost everything so it's a real. It's it's tricky with with concentration of power and I think that's really what this all comes back to. Thomas soul I always go back to because he said what we do is not important. It's who decides what we do who decides? what information should be censored and what information should not be censored and that's that's a worthwhile conversation to have um. I think when it comes to the overarching idea of what is the role of government I like the phrase. The role is not to protect people. It is to protect freedom from coercion. Essentially so we're trying to keep people free. To pursue happiness right? Life liberty and pursuit of happiness that doesn't mean you buy food for everybody. It means that you prevent stealing and coercion and fraud and things like that.

13:18.38

mikebledsoe

I think I think it's referred to as negative rights is that the the government and ah you know most people in the world and and Americans are included in this unfortunately the assumption is that they have no rights and all rights are granted by the government and.

13:23.60

Max Shank

Ah.

13:36.86

Max Shank

It's just the opposite.

13:38.60

mikebledsoe

And a place if you're looking at from perspective. What's called well I didn't even hear this term until recently and they go oh yeah, negative rights I go okay that actually makes sense and that is you have the right? you have the right to do anything you want as long as you don't impede on someone else's rights and. Ah, the government's there just to ensure that we don't trample over each other's shit and that means not inhibiting. Someone's pursuit of life liberty happiness upholding um ah property rights essentially so the government is it. It was it was there to protect you know in the very beginning.

14:11.97

Max Shank

It's really all it's for.

14:16.80

mikebledsoe

Started off with people that knew how to fight and had weapons would protect farmers and they made deals with the farmers so they wouldn't get robbed by these thieves and then they demanded you know a five percent of their rations and then of course that's now if you're an american that's up to 30 something percent. Um, are your rations for to pay for your protection. Um, so it's ah that the benefit that the government gets from from censorship but I see is it's ah just a maintenance of power. So if you're if your job. If you're that person that comes in and says I'm going to protect you and ah and then there becomes there's potential competition for protection then ah you know they've got to do whatever they can do to squash that because they don't they don't want competition for being able to. Ah, protect your property and your life.

15:11.39

Max Shank

Right? So kind of tying it back into censorship which is the core discussion today. What are the advantages ofor censorship. How is it good for everybody.

15:23.52

mikebledsoe

Yeah, so I went online and I did a search and so I found I found 8 that's right fucking? Well you know that's why I use. Ah, that's why I use a duck duck go.

15:30.23

Max Shank

And and somebody chose what results that you were able to see from that search.

15:42.12

mikebledsoe

With a vpn so I actually so I take steps personally to reduce how much censorship I'm experiencing from Google That's true. That's true. Yeah.

15:49.21

Max Shank

Sometimes the results aren't as good though. That's the problem right now. Sometimes they aren't as good and I I try it with both because I do the same thing.

16:00.83

mikebledsoe

Yeah I agree. Ah yeah, so these these are I'll go through the list. Ah 1 is hate speech censorship allows us to reduce hate speech number 2 is protect children which is the ah to me is the number 1 excuse for censorship that. Anytime censorships gets questioned. It's like the last stand you know when you used to? yeah we mean privacy. Oh yeah, yeah, but I think that people want privacy from the government. So. It's kind of like if they're the ones censoring that's people are more likely to.

16:21.90

Max Shank

Or privacy. Yeah.

16:35.20

mikebledsoe

Give their information to Facebook and they are to government.

16:35.28

Max Shank

Oh but what I'm saying is if you convince everybody that it's for the sake of protecting kids from getting raped that they have to look through your phone every day then some people will be okay with that is pretty high level persuasion. It's always kids.

16:45.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, so yeah.

16:53.69

Max Shank

Always you know, take away the guns cause of the children take away your privacy because of the children take away free speech because of the children won't somebody think of the children. There's a there's a sign in my neighborhood quick tangent that says drive like your kids live here.

17:01.42

mikebledsoe

Right? I Wonder how the kids.

17:12.51

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

17:12.68

Max Shank

You know there is There's a road to speed limit sign. But there's this extra sign that someone has put out that says drive like your kids here and what I want to do is put up my own sign that says teach your kids. What a road is oh.

17:30.14

mikebledsoe

Ah I.

17:30.83

Max Shank

Like what like oh my god that's just ridiculous I understand the concept some helicopter Mom is like worry that their kid will run out in the street. But really if her little kid runs out in the street and it's it's too young to know the difference then she's a bad mom. And if it's old enough to know the difference but she doesn't communicate that then she's also a bad mom. So. Either way, it's that parent's fault just like if you see a fat kid. That's not the kid's faultest. Parent's fault

17:53.83

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well. Yeah I want to get in I want to get in the who's who's responsible because I think responsibility is is a good way to ah segue this and into some some actionables by end of this show but I want to hit this the rest of this list so hate speech protect children. Reduce conflict in society which I'm not sure that's actually working ah security to a country's government. Actually what was what was on the internet was security. What was it. Ah.

18:41.54

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah to a country's profile censorship can provide another level of security to a country's profile. Um, which to me again, it's they're not trying to censor and that's basically censoring sensitive. Government documents from being exposed like a wikileaks type of conversation. So Um I I like to point out that a lot of people confuse. Ah your country with your government and these 2 things are separate um and it's interesting to run into a blog where they. And make that collapse distinction ipe. Oh yeah, what was it.

19:18.00

Max Shank

Mark Twain had a quote about that a man should be loyal to his country all the time and loyal to his government when they deserve it.

19:28.79

mikebledsoe

Yeah, beautiful Mark twain 1 of my favorite authors. Um I p I p for artists and inventors so intellectual property copyright so you can't rip off someone else's work. Ah.

19:32.53

Max Shank

No, it's funny guy.

19:40.96

Max Shank

And then.

19:45.53

mikebledsoe

By the way I think I p the idea of I p is not that old I think it's about 1 hundred years old or something like that. Well at least the modern day I p um because we can copy shit now whereas before it wasn't an issue. Um.

19:50.38

Max Shank

Are.

20:04.20

mikebledsoe

Stop false content. That's 1 that's probably the most popular 1 that's out right now fake news ah improve quality of information. Basically they said improve ah their exact words for like.

20:07.30

Max Shank

Fake news.

20:23.40

mikebledsoe

Improve a person's knowledge that 1 kind of made me chuckle. Um and and reduce identity Theft. So All these things sound good at face value Hate speech. Protect children reduce conflict in society security to a country's government I P for artists inventors stop False Content. You want just break each 1 of these down.

20:46.80

Max Shank

Sure we could I mean Hate Speech is funny because who who decides where's the line.

20:52.36

mikebledsoe

Why I think when you jump right to the end max I think I think that um I mean all this all this comes down to who decides on all these topics is and just so you were saying about Thomas so so soul

21:01.16

Max Shank

That's what I do. Um, yeah. Soul Oh My God He's the man you should watch ah the out never mind I'll tell you later it's He's good though.

21:11.96

mikebledsoe

Haven't read a ship before I have to check it out. Ah so.

21:20.27

mikebledsoe

Cool. Ah yeah, it's like who who decides and I think that ah people tend to treat people who are in office as some type of superior being that knows better than them. And I get talking to people about this and the way they talk about it I'm going Wow You really believe that there are people who I I understand there are these people who are experts but ah the people that you've decided to trust are just people who happen to be in office or were appointed by people who were in office. And're not necessarily. They're the best policy makers. They're the best at creating policy which is making rules for other people to follow, but they're not the best that really anything else. They're really good at control. Oh yeah.

22:06.66

Max Shank

I Disagree I Disagree I think they I think you can either do good or you can do well and I think the people who can do well who can play the game who can be charismatic sociopaths who are hungry for more power and willing to distribute it. Are the ones who are in Charge. Definitely not the people who are best at making policies that are effective in improving. Oh well I mean yeah, that's.

22:31.36

mikebledsoe

Well I'm not saying good policies I'm just saying ah the creation of policies is about control.

22:41.25

Max Shank

True and what I'm saying is the people who hold those positions of power aren't even necessarily the ones who are writing those policies. It's just the ones who are the most power hungry who then hire like lawyers and there's lobbying and stuff like that. So when we ask. Who decides? That's 1 of the big problems mean lobbying is a crazy bad problem right? and we don't have time. We don't have time if I mean if you look at how that works you would. It's almost enough to blow your brains out and be like this is game over like how did this happen.

23:06.95

mikebledsoe

Insane.

23:16.84

mikebledsoe

Oh.

23:19.32

Max Shank

But ah now as far as who decides it's always the people who are the most power hungryngry because by definition they're going to have the biggest incentive to get that power because if you're in that situation. It's painful to not have. That level of power and everything comes back from pain being the primary motivator hunger desire pain all Synonyms. So. It's no surprise that the biggest incentive actually is to maintain that authority and the other. Authority is basically just you must trust me Blindly and it goes back to our 2 common rhetorical fallacies or logical fallacies which are appeal to authority and ad homism attack and they're the 2 arguments. Totally disregard the argument and instead focus on the arguer and this is this is where we get into why it's efficient to just trust somebody else like hey doctor science you you make my health decisions for me.

24:19.55

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

24:33.62

Max Shank

Is load off my mind so much easier I can understand the desire to do that and it's also so much faster to just write somebody off Oh that guy that guy max he's fucking Crazy. Don't listen to him don't even listen to anything he says he's just a. Crazy Conspiracy Theorist Nut Job Jerk I don't know you get it.

24:57.35

mikebledsoe

Yeah, amazing thing about ah I've also got a list of which I want to hit I started a list of basically overt and covert censorship and the the labeling of things is.

25:07.40

Max Shank

Ah.

25:15.47

Max Shank

Um, how about essential how about essential.

25:16.61

mikebledsoe

Ah, very interesting right? Yeah yeah, it's yeah I'd say I'm putting down labeling as censorship I Hate speech.

25:34.25

Max Shank

What about it? Ah no, it's not nice, but I don't know people basically will dig their own grave by being hateful.

25:35.72

mikebledsoe

Is there anything wrong with it.

25:50.63

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that's a very wise place to sit from what about for the fools out there.

25:58.30

Max Shank

But for well I don't hate the fools I like fools. Um, once again I don't think there's a problem with ignorance. Nothing wrong with that I'm ignorant about most things arrogance which is like I know what's best for you.

26:00.49

mikebledsoe

Um.

26:17.34

Max Shank

Instead of I know what's best for me. That's rather problematic and yeah I don't understand the the need or even the definition of hate Speech like could I could I call you a homo but not a fag Just for example.

26:29.38

mikebledsoe

Um, well, um, yeah.

26:36.69

Max Shank

I like homos frankly I think they're a really exuberant bunch. It seems like they almost ah get a. It seems like they crack the code. You know what? I mean like they get like the mail.

26:50.90

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah.

26:55.29

Max Shank

Sexual energy. But they also get the feminine like exuberance and they seem a little bit more liberated like it seems like pretty fun Actually I'm not sexually attracted to dudes. But if I were I would have had it would be so easy.

27:03.58

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

27:09.79

mikebledsoe

You be so good at it. Yeah, so it's um, well I'm reading this book right now the cuddling of the american mind and 1 of the things they talk about is ah they talk about this view that that.

27:13.70

Max Shank

And be such a good homo.

27:29.43

mikebledsoe

Words are violence and that you know if you so yeah, yeah, well this is this is what's going on in up and they're looking specifically at colleges and academics in academic settings where people are being.

27:32.11

Max Shank

Sounds like a collapse distinction.

27:46.61

mikebledsoe

Are invited to come speak and then people basically come out and say that this person is causing violence because they're saying something that causes an emotional trigger inside of them so there is this. Ah, there's this thing where people believe that. Ah, how.

27:55.47

Max Shank

Ah.

28:06.15

mikebledsoe

How they interpret your intention is your intention you're doing this to hurt me. It's like well I'm just speaking words and and so people have have confused ah emotional pain with physical injury.

28:23.11

Max Shank

I Think people should be forced to wrestle and do a little boxing growing up so they can understand the distinction between physical violence and I don't actually think that but there's definitely a common nominator in people I've met at least.

28:23.12

mikebledsoe

These these are 2 different things.

28:42.00

Max Shank

Those who have some experience with martial arts boxing Jujitsu Judo something like that seem to have a much more realistic perception of the world. They seem to have less of this. Fear based lashing out for things that other people just say there's a big difference. Well and don't didn't we like blame Grand Theft Auto for for violence or something like that.

29:04.90

mikebledsoe

Yeah, cause they're they're more in touch with cause and effect.

29:18.68

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah.

29:20.81

Max Shank

Haven't heard about like the hooker murder epidemic that resulted from that probably still way more people die as a result of alcohol but we try to we try to Cherry pick these things and I don't know we're always like fighting each other for a new reason you know the whole.

29:28.49

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

29:38.98

Max Shank

Idea of hate speech is where do you draw the line like let people say what they want let people um self- select their friend group. You know if if you say ah you know anyone with red hair should be ah shunned from Society. That's that's your opinion. Probably you won't be really popular with red-haired people. But it's like who cares.

30:01.57

mikebledsoe

yeah yeah I had this conversation. Um I've had this conversation with my girlfriend a couple times which is like you know she I I ah I'm a fan of freedom so much that sometimes hurt like she's like having to catch up with me.

30:18.33

Max Shank

Her her.

30:18.79

mikebledsoe

And understanding how how it works and you know and she goes Well, what do you think about like people being able to discriminate on you know who's allowed in their store or not or or ah should someone be able to get fired just because of you know their race and I'm like yeah. I mean people are suing companies for getting fired so but they don't really actually want to work there but you want to work for somebody who's racist but like I think these policies that put people together that would normally not get along.

30:45.10

Max Shank

But I.

30:56.15

mikebledsoe

Doesn't cause them to actually get along. It's basically forcing people to interact who would who would normally voluntary in voluntarily not interact which could be an argument for reduction in total violence if people just go look you guys are gonna stay over there because I have this worldview and I'm going to stay over here because I have this worldview.

30:56.47

Max Shank

The.

31:15.89

mikebledsoe

Then Ah, we'd have a lot more peace but I think that.

31:19.40

Max Shank

It's like the chess club and the bat the baseball club don't really hang out.

31:21.27

mikebledsoe

Right? And so like this this idea that like because that government caused segregation and then all of a sudden ah government becomes the cause for integration and it's in both cases it causes violence. And so I think if you just let people if the government was responsible for segregation which it was and then they just said you know what we're not going to cut no more rules around Segregation Society would a piece of peacefully integrated I believe a lot more quickly and peacefully. Then what we witnessed. Ah, it was extremely violent because it went it just swung from 1 side of the pendulum to another inside of this idea that the government is in ultimate control over who we interact with.

32:11.84

Max Shank

Well, and ultimately you can't have a conditional statement for every eventuality back to the whole computer science thing of if this then this if this than this you would just have an even bigger. Book of rules and really the only thing we should be concerned with is coercion right? like it doesn't matter if um, you are a racist like think how hard it is to be a racist you got to carry that hate with you every day. Or or even worse just imagine if you were a pedophile that would be probably like the worst luck of the draw ever and as long as that person doesn't act on that. That's probably just like okay you know what I mean like even. In India for example and I'm just using this example because it's the 1 that is the most inflammatory but in India you have arranged marriage between 30 year old dudes and 12 year old girls all the time that's common practice. But this idea that. We should um basically like minority report people for what they say is problematic like if someone feels a certain way. That's not a crime if someone coerces another person then it is a crime and I think. Extending the jurisdiction. Beyond coercion is a real mistake and that's where you get this more like hive mind Mentality. You get an over concentration of power and no question. There are advantages. To a concentration of power but they're also extreme disadvantages just the same if you are going to put all your eggs in 1 Basket. You know I just remember this video of Mussolini giving a speech and he just raised his fists in the air and goes 1 country 1 decision and everyone's like. Yeah they're so excited that they don't have to make any decisions anymore because he's gonna do all that hard work for him and that is a natural sentiment. We. We want to get we want to get more for less. We don't want to do anything. It's very natural. So.

34:32.56

mikebledsoe

Well I think I.

34:41.50

Max Shank

We want to be as efficient as possible, but there's a huge cost to that you are putting yourself at risk of total loss rather than diversifying that power along all the people. That's why it's so important to vote with your dollars.

34:57.84

mikebledsoe

Yeah, did you listen to that you listen to that rogan I don't listen to a lot of rogan but every once in a while something comes on my radar that that North korean woman. Did you listen that whole episode. Yeah, ah 1 of the things that really struck me with that was.

35:00.85

Max Shank

It's an it's a self-correting.

35:08.69

Max Shank

Um, yeah I did.

35:17.63

mikebledsoe

And think we even talked about this now that I'm thinking about it is she said that when she was exposed to freedom. She had a hard time she if she there was too many choices. There are so many choices to make that within five minutes she had become physically fatigued and mentally for.

35:29.81

Max Shank

Yeah.

35:37.53

mikebledsoe

Fatigue from being exposed to choice because she didn't have any because Kim jong un was making all the decisions for her. Ah her entire life. So as a 13 year old is just oh what do you want to eat well how many options do I have oh a dozen.

35:45.14

Max Shank

Right.

35:55.76

Max Shank

What What do you want to watch on Tv tonight you can pick from any of these four hundred thousand view options. Yes to it's too many choices. So that's kind of that's the positive side of distributing those choices.

35:55.97

mikebledsoe

Okay, this is this really got difficult.

36:01.89

mikebledsoe

Oh my God I can't watch Tv because of that.

36:15.90

Max Shank

Like part of the reason family units have often worked so well in the past is because you have what's called comparative advantage. You know the lady um will just alienate all the ladies now too. You know back in the day. The lady would take care of the house and. As a homeowner myself I think that's a super important job taking care of a house is is its own job. Especially if you have kids around women are naturally better at nesting and nurturing the guy goes out. He just focuses on 1 thing which is going. And bringing home the bacon whether he's a farmer or a hunter or ah, a businessman of some kind so divvying up the responsibilities based on ability is super beneficial. So it's natural that you would want to. Get the people who are best at what they do to do the job for you.

37:16.58

mikebledsoe

Agreeing. Ah, one last note I want to make on the hate speech is 1 of the things that I've noticed is well yeah, um I think if you say something racist is is the number 1 thing.

37:21.91

Max Shank

I Still don't even know what that means was it mean naughty words.

37:33.30

Max Shank

Shut up Pinky Shut up pinky.

37:33.28

mikebledsoe

Or homophobic or something like that. What's that? yeah so that what? um, well yeah, but well my ah my buddy danny who's from Wahaca he's mexican and they.

37:40.87

Max Shank

Um, we're hardly white. Definitely definitely Pink. There.

37:53.17

mikebledsoe

He's like I don't know why we're called colored people and you're white you guys change colors all the time you get red you get white. You get like you like you're always changing colors like I'm the same color all the time you're the colored people. Ah but the the thing that's made me. Ah, anytime.

38:01.53

Max Shank

Like moon. Yeah.

38:12.60

mikebledsoe

Somebody in the last couple of years you know racism has been such ah a prominent conversation in the last couple years is people go oh that person's racist and I go well why? and then ah ah, a lot. Ah a lot of times. There's not a specific instance. They just.

38:24.32

Max Shank

It's an ad hom attack. So easy.

38:29.98

mikebledsoe

It's become the common narrative that that person's racist and then they'll take words out of context for instance like Trump people say Trump's racist.

38:31.37

Max Shank

Um, but the. Or how about any of the many things that I've said on this podcast. There are enough 5 to ten second clips on here that could have me pilloried. Ah.

38:43.51

mikebledsoe

And so it's people will go Oh there's there's there's like plot for Trump For instance I'm not a Trump fan didn't vote for him. So ah, that makes me good. Well this is There's my caveat to the this my argument here.

38:53.72

Max Shank

That makes you good to to most of the listeners.

39:02.65

mikebledsoe

Which is I Also don't think he's racist I don't think he's so many of the things that the media made him out to be and ah and because he did a lot of things that if you look at it policy wise he did a lot of things for the black community if you look at it ah at black and white. On paper. He did more than Barack Obama did for the black community and yet he got painted a racist because who the fuck really knows why that that he was. He's unpopular amongst the elites. That's that's what makes me curious about that guy. Again I'm not a big fan I'm not a Q Andon Person. Ah and it has been interesting to watch people go really pro Trump as much as you know is when they I just feel like there's a big opportunity that was missed and that people are they just shift. Who they think should be the Authority instead of realizing that it's that the authority is ah is a artificial construct. But ah.

40:05.98

Max Shank

It's.

40:11.45

Max Shank

It's all a means of disqualifying the argument of the individual or hyperqualify hey you know trust Doctor science ah fuck this racist pedophile guy I mean if I ever.

40:17.11

mikebledsoe

Oop.

40:22.54

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

40:26.32

Max Shank

Started if I was ever in a race for office I would never discuss the policy of my opponent I Would only say I can't believe that I have to run against such a racist pedophile with a dog fighting ring in his basement I Don't think the American people. Want to have a racist pedophile dog abuser in office am I right? people I would never I would never I would never talk about policy people don't care I would only attack the worst things this guy could do ever.

40:56.98

mikebledsoe

Well I mean that this is what happened the narrative in the last election was the Democrats are pedophiles and the republicans are a racist. It's pretty much like that it was just if you really take a step back. You go? Oh yeah, that was.

41:07.92

Max Shank

Um, it's just name. It's just name calling. Yeah.

41:16.80

mikebledsoe

That was except the only thing was was it was alternative media that was pumping up the pedophilia conversation. It was mainstream media that was pumping up the racist conversation up. Yeah Abc Nbc cnn.

41:24.10

Max Shank

Well, what's mainstream just the big the big names. What's funny if you look at the amount of actual viewers now and the amount of traffic people like Joe Rogan actually have way more. Ah.

41:39.25

mikebledsoe

Joe Rogan has more gets more downloads than I think all the major news agencies have combined.

41:46.95

Max Shank

Well I was talking to a good friend of mine and even he agrees because very mainstream guy you know watching all the different news stations and he's like you know Joe Rogan We agreed has just built up so much credibility because he has done so many hours and so many hours where.

42:06.62

mikebledsoe

Um, no yeah I wouldn't want to fight the man.

42:06.69

Max Shank

He's not arrogant and I mean maybe about fighting sometimes but he does know a lot about fighting too. No no, no, no, no, no, definitely not I Just mean about like knowing about styles of fighting like he knows so much and sometimes you're like oh really? okay.

42:20.21

mikebledsoe

Right? right.

42:26.70

Max Shank

But he doesn't Lie. He doesn't try to hide Anything. He's very open about everything so he's actually built up this crazy credibility and that's something super powerful and I'm sure he has some awareness. The clout that he has developed but that's got to be such a ah scary thing at the same time knowing Yeah, it's amazing I Hope he wins. Yeah yeah I Hope he wins.

42:44.50

mikebledsoe

Oh I'm sure. Well you hear he's ah he's suing Cnn Yeah I Hope he gets a lot of money out of them. Yeah, but of course Cnn just has a budget for that kind of shit. So.

43:02.20

Max Shank

Um, well it's probably being funded by our taxpayer dollars and money that is printed out of thin air I mean you look at the way that well you look at the way that.

43:09.48

mikebledsoe

Well pharmaceutical companies I mean yeah, the money the money's going the money's going from them printing it off to the pharmaceutical companies to the news media. That's that's the line of information. That's how the information is flowing right now. And you can tell because Pfizer is fucking advertising like crazy I I can find a super clip where someone put together that super clip which is basically how much Pfizer is advertising on the news where people are going to get information about.

43:32.50

Max Shank

I saw.

43:45.94

mikebledsoe

How they're going to live their life basically ah and make decisions and what they believe and then everything is advertised. Do you think that if you were 1 a top Journalist for cnn is there any benefit to you ah talking negatively about vaccinations. That's right.

44:01.19

Max Shank

Only if I want to lose my job mike.

44:05.87

mikebledsoe

So it's sponsors in a way can be a form of censorship. So if say we say we took on a sponsor and this yeah.

44:14.60

Max Shank

Of course flaming hot Cheetos get at us.

44:22.45

mikebledsoe

We're never going to talk shit about Cheetos if that happens we're only going to talk about how many cheetahs we had over the weekend. How tasty they were. Oh yeah yeah. yeah

44:26.67

Max Shank

We might even invent a fat loss diet based on flaming hot cheetos which would be easy to do I think you could eat a diet of like forty percent of your calories. From flaming hot cheetos and still lose weight as long as everything else was dialed in.

44:40.98

mikebledsoe

But ah, something something just jumped into my my awareness here that the conversation we've had so far has actually been very dense even though you know you and I are just having fun but I can imagine somebody says hey you need to listen to this show. Check out this show on censorship that mike and Max did and when they're listening. They might if this is the first time they're exposed to this type of conversation could be getting overwhelmed and going oh shit I don't believe anything and I say that because I've I've been in conversations where before where I can. Watch people physically start to contort their body because they realize how much they don't know they they begin to yeah, they begin to realize and what ends up happening is like you can't unknow what you know ah at ah.

45:23.29

Max Shank

Well, it's very uncomfortable.

45:33.67

Max Shank

If you drink enough booze you can.

45:35.36

mikebledsoe

For certain things. Yeah, it's true. But ah you you can't unknow this shit and people get uncomfortable because it it you begin to realize that 1 hundred percent of the responsibility is on your shoulders when you thought that it was on someone else's Shoulders. And that that responsibility is scary and when you take on the responsibility of developing your own Wisdom. It's a lot of work and going back to your efficiency thing. You know people are become very accustomed to a high amount of. Efficiency and um I mean some could blame capitalism for that and because there's this this level of comfort and not having to think and then all of a sudden we lay something out there. So I I bring that up because I want to acknowledge it for anyone who's listening and just say. You know it's okay, it's okay, you go fuck I don't know what to believe anymore. All the information is false. Um, yeah I mean just and I think that way you got to get to that point is understanding that most of what you think is a lie and yeah.

46:47.75

Max Shank

I'll simplify it down if you if you don't mind. Yeah, it's I like to take things to the extremes I don't know if you've noticed that about me. But.

46:50.98

mikebledsoe

Please.

46:56.53

mikebledsoe

Yeah, I'm not accustomed to that type of lifestyle.

47:01.94

Max Shank

You're you're more of a middle ground type of guy. Ah, okay, if you had to choose between believing everything you read and see and believing nothing you believe and see then it would be safer to believe nothing so it's safer to believe nothing. And you can be sure that there's always an intent behind every message that you see to persuasion just to get you to buy to try to cry to laugh. Whatever and my my personal it goes back to once again, computer science which is. So heavily logic based I so I still know like almost nothing about it but the concept of trust but verify and that verify is your responsibility.. It's always your responsibility to verify for yourself and you.

47:58.19

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well well, there's there's been Ah, there's been a trick played on the common person and that ah ah, the fact, the fact, the fact checkers. The fact checkers.

48:10.15

Max Shank

You can't possibly know.

48:16.16

mikebledsoe

Are playing the role of verify people think they're verifying by doing a Google search and seeing fact check in the title and then go.

48:21.97

Max Shank

No, no, it's your responsibility to verify. You're right though that is a trap.

48:26.72

mikebledsoe

But people people think they are verifying when they do that because people will Google and they go well fact check I'm like really yeah.

48:32.20

Max Shank

But that's just that's just trusting another guy like so whenever you're thinking about these things. It's best to try to reduce the number of parties involved. So for example, if there are 3 of us you me and some other guy. And some other guy says hey mike if you give me a hundred bucks now I'll give you a thousand next week and then you're like hu and let me verify that and you ask me and I'm like yeah you can trust him that's like basically the same thing it doesn't change anything right. So you have to keep it always does come back to that responsibility is upon the individual and if you take the responsibility which is your ability to respond also away from the individual then you are opening the door for totalitarianism which. There are advantages and disadvantages. You can move much further much faster I think china has gotten a lot more people out of poverty in the last twenty years than before under a form of totalitarianism. But.

49:46.29

mikebledsoe

Ah, totalitarianism combined with capitalism.

49:48.28

Max Shank

With that concentration right? That's very good point So we have capitalism combined with we have Crony capitalism.

49:57.96

mikebledsoe

A.

49:59.32

Max Shank

Unfortunately, which is where you're allowed to lobby and make rules that are not the same for everybody and all these backwards incentives. But my point is there are advantages to concentrating power and there are also huge disadvantages and if you blindly follow something you are opening the door. For a very small minority to call the shots for everybody and that's basically what slavery looks like and you might be a happy little slave but you're still not free or responsible for Yourself. You got to follow the money with all this stuff. That's the best. That's the best.

50:28.64

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, yeah.

50:37.20

Max Shank

Paper trail or trail crumbs to find out. What's really going on is how's that money changing hands. And yeah, you know what? I've I've gone through a similar thing just back to what you're saying. It's it's super uncomfortable to realize that. Most of what you taught you were taught was a waste of time and most of the information that's been passed off as news has been flagrant lies with only the intention of making you more dependent and ah obedient. You know by Bye bye trust trust trust.

51:14.63

mikebledsoe

But ah, 1 of the things you're talking about you've been talking about you know? Ah, it's trusting someone else creates efficiency but also leaves door open for abuse and 1 of the things that I tell people.

51:15.96

Max Shank

Right? It's uncomfortable. But.

51:33.50

mikebledsoe

When we start talking about where are you getting your information talking about the verify piece where are you getting your information while I'm getting it from this person. My great and you know say they're talking about something like a virus. It's like yeah I'm not a virologist you know I am not going to know a lot about that I would say that I know a lot about health.

51:35.31

Max Shank

My.

51:52.30

Max Shank

I would say so I'll verify that you know a lot about health fact I fact checked you? Yeah check mark.

51:52.90

mikebledsoe

Which I think is really all you gotta know? Ah, yeah, thank you thank you listen to Max folks. He's smart guy. Yeah fact, check complete. So um, my my thing is when I start talking to people about who I listen to so. Yeah I I don't pretend like I've gone out and obtained all the knowledge and wisdom in the world. But what I do is I listen to wise people and ah and I qualify those people is what's the advice they've given over time which I think people have all our time. Even running that filter people don't really remember their their attention spans pretty fucking short. So what is their track record. That's my first thing when it comes to verifying is is what's their track record. Not not what pieces of paper. They've got not what credentials not what are not what are the letters behind their name. My question is.

52:33.20

Max Shank

Everybody man 1

52:42.36

Max Shank

Community not.

52:49.12

mikebledsoe

What's their track record how sort of I'm listening to somebody about Health I Go What's their health like this is why I listen to Paul Check people go you know? Ah, ah you Know'm I'm gonna listen to this person or this person because they have these credentials and I go yeah but Paul check is is a. Great example of this. Not only has he mastered his own health The dude 60 years old and I'm pretty sure he can outlift me ah and he he ah he moves Well he has you know.

53:16.54

Max Shank

Ah, well you you don't really prioritize lifting. But that's true. He could.

53:26.98

mikebledsoe

Is sex life is vibrant from what I can tell the way he talks about it anyway. Ah the guy. Ah but all the Paul Trek fans are gonna laugh there. Ah but there.

53:30.98

Max Shank

Um, I thought I thought you had participated never mind.

53:45.28

mikebledsoe

I think we share a lot of the same audience. Um, but but he's got ah, he's got a track record of helping other people and he's mastered in himself and like who else am I who else has done that at 60

53:46.82

Max Shank

I Think it's right What you're saying is right? It's about track record.

53:58.13

Max Shank

So he walks the walk. He has a track record that you have seen develop over time and also the other thing that I would add to that is the incentive.

53:59.90

mikebledsoe

You know Andy's older and he's got. He's got the wisdom on its side that time.

54:14.37

mikebledsoe

A.

54:15.31

Max Shank

What's the incentive. So when you're trying to um, decipher a new bit of information and part of it is just reducing the total bits. Otherwise you're going to be bombarded with a fire hose but who is to gain from what you're hearing that that is the number 1 question. So take everything else off the table who who gains from this message that you're hearing that is the number 1 thing is incentive and then because that's just about the argument and then the second part is consider the source. So that's where you start seeing. Okay well this person has led me led me the right way for a long time meanwhile the laundry list of lies and misinformation about health from these allegedly trusted entities. Is a mile long I mean how about eggs and it doesn't matter if the intentions are good even intentions. Good bad doesn't matter. It's more about what is the result of those things. So if if you're afraid of fruit because it's got too much sugar.

55:23.79

mikebledsoe

What's the outcome does it this kind of goes in and I hate Speech this goes in the hate speech thing because like what people say what they do are different but this where outcome outcome is ah very important here.

55:29.84

Max Shank

Yeah, of course like why would we? Well you know for Healthcare like why would we let the people making the decisions about Healthcare have a different plan than they agreed On. That's insanity. That's crazy. They so the people who create policy for Health. Don't use that same plan. Yeah, that's insane. That's insane like where is the Incentive. So.

55:50.00

mikebledsoe

That can you repeat that. So the people Oh oh you talk about the medical care. Yeah.

56:06.42

Max Shank

Incentive is the number 1 thing considering the source is probably the number 2 thing and then maybe the third thing is just an overall reduction in the amount of bits that you take in and this is tough because Dopamine is all about an external thing. You take in. You're like oh something something from out there to add in to my my self here and it takes you away from potentially creating really valuable projects and the the thing is you don't need to be. Plugged in all the time you don't need to be absorbing every new bit of misinformation out there. In fact, all it does mostly is distract you from what's really important in your life which is nurturing the relationships that you care about or nurturing the projects that you care about. And creating and expressing yourself in different ways and I I really like the simple idea of if you don't express you will feel depressed simple as that and it doesn't matter if you paint or play music or.

57:16.54

mikebledsoe

If.

57:23.70

Max Shank

Chat with a friend for a few hours or an hour. There are lots of ways to express yourself? Um, but if you're constantly seeking that the feed from outside you're going to become like mentally obese and it's going to be full of toxic bullshit.

57:42.60

mikebledsoe

A a.

57:43.54

Max Shank

Right? So just to recap its incentive source and then probably reduction would be like the third if I had to pick 3

57:52.27

mikebledsoe

I like it. It's a good that's a good ah order to go in you'll you'll ah I think by just applying the first 2 you'll reduce the amount of people you're even looking at or piece information you're you're paying attention to.

58:04.66

Max Shank

Oh yeah, people would say that I'm crazy for how little I trust anything I read or see but not nuds. It's true because.

58:12.44

mikebledsoe

Um, well I I think that if you've ever gone through the process of questioning what you believe and what you think I think if you've never done that which most people have never sat there and analyzed their own thinking and gone is what I believe actually true. Once you believe once you have had the experience of realizing that most of your thoughts are complete bullshit then you should then understand that everyone else's thoughts are just they probably have the same amount of bullshit running around and most people are just expressing. They're bullshit all the time and the majority of what's flying around is just bullshit. There's very little truth very little truth in there. Totally unintentional.

58:53.92

Max Shank

And it's not ah and and it's often not intentional. You know for a long time I I was told the knees should not cross the toes during a squat if you're bending over your back should not bend.

59:10.31

mikebledsoe

Yeah, right? yeah.

59:12.36

Max Shank

In fact, basically your back should never bend under load is this thing I believed and some people still believe that some people believe the exact opposite of that and and that's okay too. But oh yeah, oh yeah I mean.

59:21.88

mikebledsoe

Have you seen this knees over toes guy on Instagram his shit is good and his whole his whole his whole the name of his Instagram is controversial and he's blowing up. It's good.

59:31.36

Max Shank

I. Right? It's it's brilliant as brilliant marketing I think it looks mostly sound. Obviously it's not the way that I would approach overall health and fitness. But I think the message is overall good. Which is you're not fragile and it's good to bravely explore these ranges of motion. Um I got did I tell you about the third round monkeys third round monkey rule is perfect for this episode.

59:59.80

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:00:07.35

mikebledsoe

No.

01:00:12.70

Max Shank

Its really short. It's not that short, but it's short enough. Yeah, sure.

01:00:13.14

mikebledsoe

Do you want to you want to take this show an hour and a half by the typical hour because I I think we have might I've covered like half of what's in my fucking Notebook right now.

01:00:23.80

Max Shank

Well, let's let's let it ride but here's an important thing to realize and it's about Mythology. So Third round I have all these that I try to organize stuff. So it's simpler to remember so I have this 1 called Third round monkeys which is about a scientific study. They did. With monkeys in a room with a ladder and a bowl of fruit at the top and so they had like 6 monkeys in there and 1 starts to go up for the fruit and the researchers immediately hose off all the Monkeys. With a fire hose all of them. Not just the 1 who climbed up for it and so then they all stop doing that so they're all just sitting around not going near the ladder because they know they'll get the hose and then they take out half the monkeys and replace them. With new monkeys. So now you have a combined group a and group b 1 of the new monkeys starts climbing up the ladder and 1 of the older ones are the all the older ones start beating it up because they know that if he does that they're all going to get the hose. So then once again, you have this group of like 6 monkeys or so doing nothing then they take away the first monkeys and they add in the third round monkeys same thing. 1 of the new monkeys. Sees a bowl of bananas or fruit or something up there starts going up the ladder and the second round monkeys beat him up mercilessly and so now you have like 6 monkeys not going near the fruit and none of them have seen the fire hose. They don't know why they don't know why they're beating. They're beating these new Monkeys. They just know that if you go up the ladder you get beaten and that's how a lot of information gets transmitted. It's just I was talking with ah my friend victoria.

01:02:31.56

mikebledsoe

Bunch of hearsay.

01:02:34.98

Max Shank

The other day and we were playing this game called ah fuck that last guy high five that last guy because so many things from the past are amazing. It's incredible and some things. We're just like oh fuck that guy that guy sucks like he really ruined it for everybody else and that's sort of how we have gotten to this point some things you blindly believe but we don't We don't really know why.

01:02:52.94

mikebledsoe

E.

01:03:08.53

mikebledsoe

Probably most things so lot lot has just been passed down.

01:03:15.45

Max Shank

I'm kind of I'm becoming more and more and of of ah, an objectivist but there's a caveat to that because objectivism is like just believing what you can experience firsthand but I also believe there's obvious be way more than that.

01:03:25.25

mikebledsoe

Yeah, but also.

01:03:32.18

Max Shank

That is beyond my sensory perception.

01:03:33.54

mikebledsoe

Well I think I think that the I would say this the way I'm very objective is the way I operate is is I I Really do my best to believe only what I can verify with my own senses and ah everything else.

01:03:52.70

Max Shank

Yeah, that's tricky.

01:03:52.13

mikebledsoe

Just take with a grain of salt which like maybe maybe and then also you know the way that I think you and I both live our lives is we have done enough reflection to create our ah philosophy and principles in which we live our lives and which means that. I don't have to know that much information you don't have to know that information to make good choices. Ah, and so for instance, the idea of what we see what we witness in nature is what happens anytime we isolate something. We isolate a cell from being able to talk to other cells in the human Body. What happens the cell starts to replicate in a way that causes cancer right? when it can't communicate with the other cells. Yeah it it dies but and and it's.

01:04:40.15

Max Shank

Or it dies right? I mean depends on the environment.

01:04:46.35

mikebledsoe

And it's attempt to live on it will replicate unhealth in an unhealthy way. Yeah, it'll die or it'll replicate in a cancer way right? has no direction right? It's not getting the right inputs. Um, what's a.

01:04:50.49

Max Shank

Um, in in an in a way that is that has no direction. Basically it's like growth without direction bingo.

01:05:05.40

mikebledsoe

But guy who described this. He's a really he used to work in cancer and now he he's ah he's 1 these really great docs to listen to. Ah, he's is my name maybe his name will pop into my head here in a minute but ah, ah, but when things are integrated when you integrate something like. A lot of what happens with health is how well things are integrated with each other and in systems support each other and everything is whether the cell or an organ or your joints if you so if you've studied health and you really recognize? oh. And you witness what are the results of isolation and what are this the results of of integration and then you watch that happen socially to what are the results of isolation and what are the results of integration and. Not force integration but just allowing things to integrate naturally.

01:05:58.30

Max Shank

No system works in isolation is a phrase for health.

01:06:02.30

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and so I don't need to understand all the details of how these people theoretically think this virus works by the way. It's all theory. The basis in which. The virologists are making decisions. It's based on a theory which is called Germ Theory ah that was the 1 Yeah.

01:06:21.75

Max Shank

Ah, crap we're gonna get censored now fuck that was it that was the that was the 1 thing you're not allowed to talk about I said fag earlier we were probably gonna be okay with that. It's because those guys can take a joke.

01:06:33.90

mikebledsoe

Ah, we definitelin? Yeah, so but ah, you know people people. It's 1 of those things I get in conversation with people I'm like why are you operating from germ theory or are you more familiar with terrain theory. And then people go I don't know what you're talking about I go oh well, do you believe that you know just being exposed to a germ is going to make you sick and like well yeah, that's that's what's happening they go. Okay, then then you're a germ theory person. You don't even know it and yet that's the postulate in which. All these arguments are being made from the idea of isolating yourself. Don't go outside wear a mask stay 6 feet apart. These are all isolated. This isolation makes sense inside of germ theory. But even the person who founded germ theory. Ah, with his name Louis pasture was 1 of the the people who really put germ theory on the map at the end of his life of saying I made a fucking mistake. You know he was the 1 that was in charge of pasteurizing milk. Best of intentions but seti made a mistake so you got this guy that everyone praises for for inventing pasteurization.

01:07:40.77

Max Shank

With the best of intentions.

01:07:50.14

Max Shank

Ah.

01:07:50.77

mikebledsoe

We passed here and yet at the end of his life. He says don't do what I said earlier stay away from it and yet no 1 listens to that. so so um everybody governments medical boards. All these things bought into germ theory and ah.

01:07:56.64

Max Shank

What how tricky.

01:08:09.80

mikebledsoe

I go back to? Well, what's the result of our medical system operating from ah germ theory. Well what are we produced. We have record breaking Obesity diabetes cancer. We have record breaking all these sicknesses and mental health as well. There's a lot.

01:08:22.42

Max Shank

Well, there are a lot of things involved in that right.

01:08:27.76

mikebledsoe

There's a lot but it is the result of how things are and and 1 of them is the result of Germ theory. Yeah, and so going back to I've done a lot of philosophical thinking you've done a lot of philosophical philosophical Thinking. We're studying principles of things I don't have to understand. What type of spike protein is on this virus to understand that I do not want to isolate myself I do want to breathe a lot of different air I do want to get sunlight I do want to exercise I do want to. Um, improve my mental health which is gonna improve my physical health by being social and having community and um and it.

01:09:06.35

Max Shank

And you're willing to take that risk yourself because that is what risk you feel comfortable with taking but the tricky thing is the false argument that. Following The narrative will be better than doing nothing and the trick is there's no way to test for that Now. Um, and everybody is arguing about like oh you know? Well Scandinavia did this and China did this and these people did this and you know Ultimately, if. You are not allowed to decide what risks you take? You're not free if you're not allowed to say no then you're not free and anytime it starts getting back into that um appeal to Authority or ad hom and an attack. It just opens the door for all kinds of evil shit to happen and we don't really know what the cost of this alleged solution will be and you know just to go back to the germ theory thing. There's a buckminster Fuller quote I like which is there's nothing in a caterpillar. That says it's going to be a butterfly.

01:10:27.35

Max Shank

There's there's nothing in there. There's no, there's no clue that that is going to happen. Nothing would indicate that that but it does does happen over and over again and the same thing is true with an individual's health look.

01:10:35.10

mikebledsoe

You know.

01:10:42.30

Max Shank

We we start talking about the obesity thing right? Holy lord there are a lot of fat people is it their fault. No is it their responsibility. Yes, and that's a big distinction that also helps people overcome the shame because. Probably you don't know what their life is like you don't know what kind of trauma they've been through they probably had fat parents so in a certain sense. It's not their fault but it is their responsibility. Um, and I think that's the only way that you break a cycle right? If you look back with resentment. And blame you don't break the cycle. You just perpetuate that cycle. That's why all this like racism shit is so fucked because all it does is perpetuate the cycle and it only seeks to incentivize the ah. I'll just call them folks who who benefit from all of that kind of strife and disarray. You know the race-baiting type of people people whose career is to like cry racism people whose career is to cry sexism people whose career is to cry. Oh you know. Tax the rich, whatever it's like so ridiculous, but it just goes back to the importance of incentive.

01:12:02.92

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it's great to look at that. Um, damn we didn't get very far in the list of talking about but I want to mention I think I think that what we've been. We've been addressing this topic from a very principle based. Perspective and so that list of that I I made earlier in the show I think that is all a lot of things we mentioned pretty much explain why it might you know. Those things are arguments against it but from more of a principle base without having to get into the details of each 1 because we just would use the same argument over and over for for most of these that we started with hate speech on but I want to talk about the different types of censorship because there's overt censorship and covert censorship. And so people who are experiencing censorship a lot of times don't realize they're experiencing it because there is not this organization called the propaganda machine that or the the censorship administration that is ah that is. Single source of information like it is in North korea and even those people don't realize because they don't know anything outside of that that they're being fed propaganda like they just yeah, how would you know? So um, yeah, not their fault and in the united states what we have.

01:13:20.54

Max Shank

How would you know? no, it's not their fault.

01:13:31.39

mikebledsoe

Is that what what I would say is a the illusion of freedom is largely at play and that you have access.. There's ah you have more options right? but your options always they they only fall inside of this this fairly narrow range ah and like people. People talk about you know they associate democracy and freedom I'm like democracy is better than communism. But it's not really that much better.. Ah yeah, a true democracy which we don't live in a true democracy.

01:13:59.22

Max Shank

Democracy is majority rules right.

01:14:08.27

mikebledsoe

Ah, we live in a Republic in the United states. But yeah, the the idea of a pure democracy is majority rules terrible terrible I mean if anyone wants to stand up for the minority. The that is democracy is the worst possible scenario for minorities.

01:14:12.90

Max Shank

Ah, majority rules is a horrible idea.

01:14:24.98

Max Shank

Of course it almost seems self-evident.

01:14:26.39

mikebledsoe

Um, and yeah by by it's it. Yeah, oh trust me, it's not I've dropped that on people and they go what do you mean? Yeah, like well if you only you know I need fifty 1 percent to tell the other forty nine percent. What to do.

01:14:43.43

Max Shank

Well I mean think of it this way if you live in a cul-de-sac with 2 other folks and they both vote to take your house. Do you have to give it to them like that's the kind of thing that we're talking about here that is insane and when you shrink it down to.

01:14:55.66

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah.

01:15:02.78

Max Shank

Smaller groups like that. It's easier to understand what's really going on because so fuzzy. It's fuzzy.

01:15:04.45

mikebledsoe

Well, yeah, when it gets when it's in that large group. It's people's people's ability to comprehend just goes out the fucking window. Plus they were taught at a young age that this is how it works and I guess believed it? Um, yeah, so we have overt and covert. Ah, 1 is ah is like I said sponsors having sponsors is ah can be ah, can create ah censorship. Another 1 is shadow banning which is something shadow banning came to my attention. Just a few years ago when it started happening to a few of my friends who are health advocates and they have had a long history of doing a lot of good for a lot of people and spreading a lot of good information about how to be healthy in regenerative farming and all these things.

01:15:43.69

Max Shank

Um, and.

01:15:51.29

Max Shank

On here.

01:15:56.50

mikebledsoe

And all of a sudden they go from 30000 views in a month to a thousand and what happened was was the Google or whoever um, started shifting the algorithm to exclude them from being the top search results when people are trying to figure out how to be healthy.

01:15:59.69

Max Shank

Yeah.

01:16:15.70

mikebledsoe

And as you can imagine what ends up on the first page is a lot more traditional things that again, we go back to incentives. Wow there's a lot more things that are backed by pharmaceutical companies and yada yada yada and so like health line is is now a trusted source of medical advice. Versus you know, somebody who has you know and again and then it ends up being these these organizations that don't have a face to them. They're faceless organizations like who am I actually listening to here. Oh it's cnn who the fuck is cnn so um, the. Shadow banning is basically something that happens I'm sure there's a version of it. That's gone for a long time but in the age of information and and google searches and stuff like that. Um is basically these tech company using using algorithms to hide information and to. Highlight other information. So it's not 1 of those things where it's completely taken down. They're just and and all the algorithms are secret so you don't know how they work it's that's 1 way that these companies compete with each other but because there's no transparency about Algorithms. This is top secret information. There's no way to know that they are if you really do only rely on google searches to get your answers. You are being heavily heavily censored because they're choosing what you see and the information you take in forms your thoughts. And so if you're a person who fucking picks up your phone first thing in the morning and checks your email gmail is actually deciding what you what? you? What information you're seeing and you know there's little ads in there's little There's little things and it's not just your email that you see when you open up. Gmail. There's other things so on your phone I think it's a little bit cleaner but you you log online and wherever whatever you're opening pages so Facebook or Instagram is the first thing you check Instagram and facebook is deciding what you what your first thought of the day is.

01:18:21.40

Max Shank

Well and they're deciding I mean I basically don't touch anything electronic for the first hour or 2 every morning depend or or later it just depends and I get out the.

01:18:23.70

mikebledsoe

You think that's going to have an impact on the rest of your day and the rest of your thoughts up so fucking lootly.

01:18:32.97

mikebledsoe

Same.

01:18:39.18

Max Shank

Old school pen and paper here and it's very sneaky because it's not I don't think it started out sinister and probably it isn't even sinister because everyone thinks they're good. No 1 thinks they're the bad guy really.

01:18:40.28

mikebledsoe

Um, if I yeah.

01:18:58.80

Max Shank

So we have this phenomenon where Google Youtube for example, has built up such a monumental library so that everybody wants to go in there and it's still it's still their library.

01:19:13.00

mikebledsoe

Want to.

01:19:18.70

Max Shank

So in a certain sense. They can choose what they want to show on that library. What they want to highlight on that library. Um, but I mean it's it's kind of tricky if you are a. Takes you back to the responsibility of the individual you have to decide for yourself. What trough you are going to drink from basically like are you going to put all your eggs in that basket and you know personally that's um, that's why I just. I do self-censor because I know that the the risk is not worth the potential reward and it's important to own your customer list as well for that very reason I mean just like you mentioned there are people who have been had their businesses taken down by like ninety percent or even. Ah, hundred percent because they have said the wrong thing and it's legally it's very tricky because if you are. A platform does that mean you can edit things and if you edit things does that make you a publisher which means you're responsible for all of the content that is being published on that site. So it's very. It's very tricky legal thing. That's why I think the simpler way is just to have. Freedom of speech and let people um, choose what they want to choose um just from a business standpoint though I would say you have to control your customer list because you never know how things are going to change from a user stand from a user standpoint none of these.

01:20:53.26

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:21:00.28

Max Shank

Have your best interest at heart they only they only have 1 incentive which is to maximize your time using their service and they may have ulterior motives. Um, that are.

01:21:00.50

mikebledsoe

What.

01:21:16.30

Max Shank

Maybe like more sinister like gaining power or political backdoor dealings and stuff like that. So you just have to understand that reality like when I use youtube for example I have it a distraction free which means it takes away the comments and the. Suggested video bar so it just looks totally blank and there's just like a little search bar in the middle because I still I still use this 1 of the best resources around so you got to just take responsibility for once again, what's the incentive consider the source and.

01:21:40.72

mikebledsoe

E ire.

01:21:53.76

Max Shank

If there is 1 more message I would send out to our listeners. It's um, like you you don't know either to like tell people what they should say and shouldn't be able to say and you might feel really dumb later I I sure have.

01:22:04.79

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:22:12.30

Max Shank

Sure have I've told people things that I've found later to be completely wrong and I said them with such confidence that they believed me.

01:22:16.70

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah, same same Another example that I I saw thing was this morning or or yesterday which was ah and I forget exactly who it is someone who's really well known they have wikipedia has a page on them. And they got a bunch of happy Birthday texts the other day. Ah because wikipedia got their birthday wrong and so a lot of you know, a lot of people think wikipedia is is you know 1 of the best sources of information because they work off donation which. I trust donation based organizations for information more than I am sponsored. However, they may be getting large donations that are sponsorships from people for 1 um, but also it's it's not infallible right? Ah wikipedia. Is is ah you know they've censored a bit and are ah in charge of shadow banning and things like that because most of the information on wikipedia is is ah created by the users. So similar to social media. But even. Even they get it wrong even though that's something that they would probably not intentionally try to get wrong. But even even that was wrong.

01:23:33.85

Max Shank

Yeah, the path to hell is paved with good intentions and if you don't speak up. You'll be led like a lamb to slaughter I Thought that was a George Washington quote turns out that's actually biblical.

01:23:44.28

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and ah, 1 the other.

01:23:52.82

mikebledsoe

Ah, now.

01:23:53.60

Max Shank

You know that it was way before it but see that's just the thing for a year literally until this morning I thought that was a george washington quote about about free speech but it actually is from from roughly 2000 years ago

01:23:59.58

mikebledsoe

O.

01:24:08.73

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:10.49

Max Shank

And just for like rules of engagement. That's all we have folks, we can talk it out or we can fight it out that's amendment 1 amendment 2 That's that's the way we can sort out our differences so we can sort them out with language or we can sort them out.

01:24:22.79

mikebledsoe

Yeah, have you.

01:24:29.27

Max Shank

With so words or Swords basically.

01:24:31.34

mikebledsoe

That's an interesting point. You know I've always thought you know the second amendment is there in case, the first amendment doesn't work out because are the words of ah Dave chappelle but the in while I was encouraging black people to go buy guns. Um.

01:24:35.82

Max Shank

Per her.

01:24:48.20

mikebledsoe

But what was I saying oh yeah, it's like if you take away Speech people will resort to violence because people do want to be able to express themselves and if you say I'm going to limit your ability to express yourself verbally It's only Goingnna heighten. Ah, and in 1 direction. There's only 1 direction to go from there. Ah.

01:25:07.35

Max Shank

Do you think you'll talk more with a mask on or less with a mask on what no way same Huh What? I mean that was like in didn't they like usually um.

01:25:11.93

mikebledsoe

Oh less. Yeah. Ah, oh man.

01:25:26.82

mikebledsoe

I don't know yeah up I ah but when they first so when I was in California last summer

01:25:27.50

Max Shank

Gag the slaves like that I think it's pretty important. You don't want them to like talk back. You don't want them getting any ideas about getting ideas. What I tell you about having ideas Year.

01:25:45.50

mikebledsoe

And I first sat down started going back to restaurants. Yeah, after you know I think we were like Month 3 of the pandemic I started going back to restaurants and you know we wear a mask into the restaurant and then we sit down and we can take it off and the servers are wearing masks and it took me months. To stop feeling weird about me not wearing a mask and a server's wearing masks because my experience in that environment was that I was better than them I was having this experience of like I don't have to wear my mask you're but you're serving me, you're my servant and you you better fucking wear your mask and so like.

01:26:16.48

Max Shank

Well.

01:26:21.74

mikebledsoe

It in it and it went from like this like I usually engage with my server and we joke around and we're having a good time. That's usually how I do things and then when the mask came on that that went away like my I just kind of like they became a robot. It became this faceless person who is there just you know.

01:26:27.72

Max Shank

Ah, fred.

01:26:33.42

Max Shank

That.

01:26:41.73

mikebledsoe

But my fucking food. So ah, um, wouldn say my attitude changed that way but I actually there was like ah I had an experience of guilt of just sitting there and then having that experience of separation and thinking I'm better I wasn't actually thinking I'm better than them. But I'm like I can see how this turns into that.

01:26:42.39

Max Shank

Well and all of that was based.

01:26:58.43

Max Shank

Well and it's funny because this whole premise was that it would be better but there was no proof that that was the case and so that actually brings me to a really important. Ah simple truth. Which is the way to determine if something is true is a true Premise. So in math. It would be like the assumption and a valid thought process so you have 2 pillars essentially so you can have a true premise. And an invalid thought process or you can have a false premise and a valid thought process which is both of those would still be wrong and so this whole idea that it will be and once again, you know like I'm not trying to say I know any different but all of the.

01:27:39.95

mikebledsoe

It is.

01:27:54.62

Max Shank

All of the weird rules that have come about like you you wear your mask to trot across the restaurant and then you sit down none of those are based on any kind of real valid thought process. Or a true premise. They just don't make sense. They're just very confusing and I'm sure part of that look I'm not trying to say they're like really sinister things at Bay here. But the reality is if someone has power. They only want more of it. They never want less of it. So.

01:28:27.59

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:28:29.73

Max Shank

So So it's just it's so tricky because I'm even in our talk about this I'm tiptoeing around what I might actually fully think is true partially because I'm not so confident in it myself. And partially because I want people to absorb and receive the overarching message rather than just immediately say like I'm a witch and I must be burned at the stake because if you say something that makes a person I mean.

01:29:00.73

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

01:29:07.71

Max Shank

Honestly, um, in england can I bum a fag means can I have a cigarette please. But if you say it here it means something totally different and there are some people listening to this maybe who heard the word fag and were just like oh my god that Max. I will never listen to another thing he says again and I feel sorry about that sometimes because I think there's a lot of stuff that you and I say that is extremely valuable basically magic for your body and mind and helping you. Find the real treasures in life like love and expression and creation and avoiding the traps like comparison and envy and greed and all these different things so that's that's part of why I self censor is because I do want to make sure that. Good stuff. Reaches people who might not be in the same place we're at yet where they recognize that you know sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me and I think that should be ah like the whole theme of this discussion.

01:30:19.86

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, ah I like you were saying about like I like to approach the conversation where I at least pretend that there. It's not a sinister person like you know bill gates.

01:30:23.24

Max Shank

amendment 1 amendment 2

01:30:37.28

mikebledsoe

You know, a lot of people want to paint him as this evil person who's you know, basically like a a comic book criminal or whatever and I think that that's a great way to lose people if you say oh,, there's this the illuminati is coming into people go. Okay, he's fucking crazy. Because I don't know if that's true or not like there's There's a lot of things that make me think there are evil Ah, there's an evil Axis of power that that is you know, creating the scenarios but I don't actually know that to be True. It would be an assumption that could be false So I don't like the lead with that and it's I think that.

01:31:07.13

Max Shank

Ah.

01:31:16.23

mikebledsoe

You're going to get a lot more people to listen you go look their intentions are good if you just say look I believe everybody's intention is good. You know you can't not for dead people not not those are just dead people. But.

01:31:23.72

Max Shank

Hitler had good intentions. He was trying to end suffering. He was trying to unite people by the way I don't like hitler. No fan. Great speaker though.

01:31:35.98

mikebledsoe

Yeah, not a fan. Ah but yeah, incredible. But it you know are people really really sinister why it's like when I talk about Hitler I go I go man he was ah a really great leader and people were like appalled by that and go well. How many does do you have more followers than him are he had the most he had a shitload of followers. He's a leader if if you're being Followed. You're a good leader. Are you a moral leader? No but he was good at the leadership thing. Ah anyways I like to say I like to say like ah. I try to stay away from talking about yeah trend setter but just got canceled ah but is it but I like you know like I like to approach these arguments from the conversation of look. Um.

01:32:12.64

Max Shank

Also a very sharp dresser.

01:32:32.44

mikebledsoe

I Believe their intentions are good even with good intentions. Let's look at the results and and that that takes away this like thing where people a lot of times want to they associate with some ah leader they associate their own identity with this leader and if you talk shit about the leader now you're talking shit about them. And people shut down in that conversation. So when I get in that conversation I go look you know you know Joe biden's a really good guy. He's doing his best job and you know there's nobody. You know, no shadow monster behind him pulling the strings. He really is an autonomous human being and. You know? Ah, but but you know he's kind of fucking up. They go oh well, you know what? yeah I believe he's a good guy and he's trying really hard. But yeah, he did fuck up Afghanistan's like okay, cool. We can agree on that. But if I talk about him being evil they completely shut down never hear anything I say and true dot and.

01:33:22.61

Max Shank

The path to hell is paved with good intentions.

01:33:28.94

mikebledsoe

Um, and people also tend to project their own intention on who they follow like I have good intentions and I like that guy so he probably has the same intentions that I do ah and and so this goes back to you know is it true or is it useful. So.

01:33:39.54

Max Shank

Right.

01:33:47.81

mikebledsoe

It may be true, but there's a lot of things we may we may filter ourselves on this show and even though it may sound like we don't We may filter ourselves on this show but that's because we are filtering ourselves in a way that we're attempting to be useful. We We want the conversation to be useful and true at the same time which means that we're not going to just divulge everything we think because we're smart enough to know that not all of our thoughts are true and we would. It's much better to have a conversation where I hope I cause max to think more. Critically I know that I have had to think more critically during the show and I I Hope that anyone who's listening has has thought more critically as a result of this and will view the world through a lens which empowers them more to to. Make better decisions for themselves which in turn makes better decisions for humanity as a whole.

01:34:47.39

Max Shank

Yeah, we want you guys to be more free, not less and you know part of what I do is I help people abandon their goals for better ones. You know I realize that ah I often don't help people achieve their goals.

01:34:56.51

mikebledsoe

A I like that.

01:35:04.92

Max Shank

Ah, usually talk with them until they come up with better ones. No no, no, no, it's a great. It's a great thing. It's It's the best thing for you. It definitely it definitely sounds bad I'm I'm good. Ah.

01:35:07.87

mikebledsoe

Don't don't don't tell people that you're gonna lose you're gonna lose clients. Ah I do I do I do the same thing. Yeah, you got to trick them. You got to trick and and go like I can help you reach your goal and then they start working with you and then you.

01:35:22.85

Max Shank

Um, I'm gonna help you by convincing you to give up your dreams. No, it's because they're secondhand not necessarily. They're stupid. It's just you haven't really thought about like and then and then what happens I mean I know I didn't.

01:35:23.75

mikebledsoe

Help them change your goals.

01:35:28.97

mikebledsoe

Um, your dreams are stupid. Well they don't Yeah, they don't They're not their goals right.

01:35:42.68

Max Shank

But like the reality is most of the things that we pursue are just so we create this illusion that we hope other people will like and.

01:35:49.73

mikebledsoe

Well I think like most men they their goals are are set up to impress their dad until their dad's not around anymore that was true for me. Yeah yeah, well my dad got ladies I figure I can press my dad you know.

01:35:56.38

Max Shank

I Thought it was too to impress a lady Also right. What if your dad doesn't get ladies though, Then What do you do.

01:36:06.84

mikebledsoe

I Don't know man I don't know what that experience is like so um.

01:36:11.83

Max Shank

Um, I think I think ah, it's important like that's just there are so many burdens that people carry and I know we could just keep going on about this all freaking day. But the the burdens of trying to impress upon other people. Or trying to impress other people is quite heavy. So if you can alleviate yourselves of the burden of like trying to know what's going on like you can't really know what's going on all the way through that's why this whole idea of like.

01:36:33.25

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

01:36:48.18

Max Shank

Trust science is so ridiculous because science is all about verification trusting the news. You shouldn't trust them either but look the reality is you don't have to what you can do instead is you can create value and share it with people who are interested. In reciprocating for that value you you don't even have to get involved in this Stuff you know that's why this whole principle-based thing that we're talking about is I think so crazy valuable because you you don't try to be an alpha. You just be an omega which is like the very bottom but it's also there's there's no, um, there's no like pressure there. You don't feel like you have to be a certain way. You just focus on. Making the best art that you can or creating the best value that you can or just doing your job and then being able to let go of that thing and I think that's going to give you a better result than getting stuck in like what is essentially name calling.

01:37:56.60

mikebledsoe

Ah, well speaking of name calling there's there's 1 more couple more things I want to cover before we go and just because I want to cover in this show and I I have ah I have a hard stop in ten minutes but um you know another way, another form of censorship is changing definition which also.

01:38:04.89

Max Shank

Um, laid on me I can go all day.

01:38:15.61

mikebledsoe

Um, which also like falls in the same category with labeling changing the labels of things and or and and saying ah yeah, it. It just takes me down the path of of the book nineteen eighty four.

01:38:22.19

Max Shank

Are.

01:38:33.55

Max Shank

That's what I was thinking to.

01:38:34.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah, because they they reduce the amount of words that are being used which we're witnessing in our in our society right now there's less lots of collapse distinctions which causes confusion which causes conflict when anytime there's confusion. There's conflict or ah.

01:38:41.82

Max Shank

That's collapse distinction at its finest right.

01:38:53.80

mikebledsoe

There's a lack of definition where we're max and are using the same word, but it means different things to each 1 of us and so that creates conflict um and any time there's conflict. It's easy to control people who are in conflict because they're focused on something that's not the person controlling.

01:39:04.62

Max Shank

And. Right? They hate They hate the other guy with the different colored t-shirt instead of the kink.

01:39:11.26

mikebledsoe

Um, um, yeah, and so this is this is why like? ah I don't know exactly why other people get a little flustered with the pronoun conversation but this is a good example of the labels and. And changing of definitions is there was a was a news I think it was a health line article that went up recently that basically said can men someone ask a question like can men get pregnant and the response was well first we have to look at the definition of a man. You know there's a lot of transgender and is like this is ridiculous. This is.

01:39:50.72

Max Shank

Whoa Whoa Whoa I Think that's pretty hateful I think this conversation is so important I will not rest until we know what to call a man look I Know there's a lot of coercion and sex trafficking and just. Generalfuckery going on. But I think we should re-examine What the word man means that is the most important thing.

01:40:16.58

mikebledsoe

Ah, case in point. very good. very good thank you for that I think that's all we gotta say about that but beware of changing definitions and then when things are labeled up in 1980 four a lot of things that they say it's this. It's actually that um I picked up a book on.

01:40:19.88

Max Shank

That's fucking retarded.

01:40:35.79

mikebledsoe

Anti-racism 1 day at the health food store had to thumb through it was 1 of the most racist things I had ever seen and so when you got you gotta to be Careful. You gotta you gotta step back. Take a breath look at these things from ah ah. Try to be objective when looking at these situations and are are we promoting segregation or we promoting integration and the final note I want to leave on I'm gonna let max close us up but all right I'll let you go with anti-racism and then and then I'll.

01:41:05.10

Max Shank

I Want to say something about the the anti-racism. Just no, just real quick. It's real quick for every force. There's an equal and opposite Force War on drugs Total Disaster War on terror total disaster.

01:41:13.17

mikebledsoe

Will these some final words correct.

01:41:22.70

Max Shank

No, nothing is more nothing is brought more terror to the people of America than the american media the whole idea of being anti-racist is of course going to be racist because anytime you fight against 1 thing you're you're getting pushback from the other side. That's what I want to say so war on drugs war on terror.

01:41:37.19

mikebledsoe

Yeah, so even if the intention is less racism being anti-racism being anti-racist is likely to create more racism.

01:41:41.48

Max Shank

On racism.

01:41:48.15

Max Shank

You could only be in favor of equal opportunity. Everything else would be wrong I think.

01:41:54.91

mikebledsoe

I agree. Ah, final words from me look I when I look at censorship I really see a robbery of wisdom and what I mean by that is that. The only way that we accumulate Wisdom is to to test knowledge against reality to to put it into play and to get the result back and anytime anyone's controlling the knowledge that we can have access to they're controlling our ability to develop wisdom and so. What we're really sitting in right now is a wisdom crisis and it's the the answer to that is taking responsibility for the information you take in and being able to ah put it through the filter and ask good questions and. And try to be objective about what's going on and to stay away from some of these because you say rhetorical fallacies or if you're experiencing an emotional if you're having a ah strong emotional experience in your body when you hear things is being with that emotional experience. Recognizing as such and still being able to hear the information coming in these are these are ways in which you can take in better information and ah practice your own wisdom and develop your own wisdom.

01:43:19.20

Max Shank

Yeah I would say who is to gain from what you're hearing that's number 1 consider the source number 2 and then just as an aside. Censorship may be done with good intentions. But the result is never positive and if you support censorship then that is just your ego transplanting into the ego of some authority. And you are essentially giving him your power and yeah, maybe her? Yeah guess ladies are pretty evil too.

01:43:57.60

mikebledsoe

Or her or her well I think Hillary clinton's behind you know Biden if she's actually in control now I'm just kidding. Ah.

01:44:08.64

Max Shank

Really I mean they both. They both seem so mentally sound. Ah I love how all all of the like smartest people in the in business are like ah. You know 30 to forty mostly and we are only choosing from like fucking 80 year olds for who runs the country I don't think they could even get a driver's license. Ah, but anyway the the whole idea is supporting. Censorship is really just supporting. Ah, unilateral authoritarianism so you are essentially um, putting everybody at the mercy of the few and without free speech. We will be led like lamb's to slaughter. So I think there's a reason. It's the first amendment there's reason it's the most important thing you know the main difference between a pig and a man is the fact that we can talk and we can only resolve our differences with talking or with violence physical violence real violence and I think. It behooves everybody to become adept in both verbal ah dialogue as well as physical violence.

01:45:31.38

mikebledsoe

Ah, you sound like you're a a greek philosopher or something good shit match. Ah, where can people find you if they go looking.

01:45:42.45

Max Shank

If you Google me I'm pretty much everywhere but maxshank dot com.

01:45:48.22

mikebledsoe

Dope and you can find me on Instagram at my underscore blitzo feel bad just saying that I need ah I need a more conci I am working on my substack.

01:45:55.80

Max Shank

I hear I hear it kills you on the inside when you say underscore every week I think I've thought about that so many times mike underscore blood. So just like fucking kill me.

01:46:07.73

mikebledsoe

I Mean you have to hit the keyboard change button twice just to get there all y'all? Yeah so hard. All right. Love you to later.

01:46:14.70

Max Shank

That's 2 keystrokes. Love you brother. Love you guys. Bye.

Nov 8, 2021

00:00.83

mikebledsoe

Today we're talking about language. Some people may say that's boring and the reason and and ah I won't name the show language probably for that reason. Well, we'll say something clever on this episode between max and myself. And and then name it that but we wanted to really talk about it because we found it to be a very important subject for us to focus on I know for myself. It's helped me to ah. Not only communicate better with other people I think most people go oh you're better at language you could probably communicate better and in ah in an effective way that other people will will hear what you have to say in the way you want it to be received but also just for myself just for. Deliberately using language to reduce the own confusion I have in my own mind to work things out to become more certain about ah how I am approaching things and about what's going on in the world and I think anyone who does not put their attention into language. Um. Is going to be extremely limited in their ability ability to be productive and effective in the world today. So I always think about language is a major component in the expansion of consciousness and if someone's interested in that and they leave that part out then there are. Ah, they're missing out on on a huge huge piece Max. What? what got you into focusing in on language and going. Wow this is something important to pay attention to.

01:45.43

Max Shank

It's the only tool we have for interaction other than physical touch which can be violent or nonviolent or body language. So everything. We communicate to ourselves and 1 another is done with this framework of language you have the deeper stuff which is ah feelings which don't necessarily need language to exist like you can be afraid or you can be aroused or you could be a little bit of both. For example. Um, I feel like the way that we are taught language is probably the worst way possible. So it almost sets you up for failure and you know I've always wanted to get as powerful as possible. And you realize at least I realized I was spending like hours and hours and hours in the gym and in a fighting gym doing kickboxing and Moai and kravmiga and all this stuff and you know you realize like that's not very practical like the. The likelihood of a violent interaction is really low Plus if you really want want to be good at that. You should just get a a weapon and get really good with that and then take it a step further. It's like ah some guy will just write a check and like win. Everything.

02:59.86

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, as.

03:16.10

Max Shank

Like if you're able to communicate really well and put deals together and organize a group of people toward the same goal. That's where that pen is mightier than the sword comes from. So yeah, exactly So the the whole ah premise of getting.

03:24.10

mikebledsoe

You can just hire somebody to beat somebody up, you know at that point.

03:35.47

Max Shank

Physical power is like ridiculous ninety nine percent of the time now I do think it's very worthwhile to cultivate physical strength and mental strength can stem from physical challenge like if you carry a pack up a mountain. It's going to be. Physically challenging but that physical challenge is going to give you a huge mental challenge as well. Um, with communication There's only 1 goal really which is to transmit the message you intend. And that's I think the first place that people get gummed up is they don't even know what they're trying to communicate and you have to consider the audience so there needs to be just like a computer There's a sender and a receiver and it has to be. Um, understandable and in order for a human being to understand it has to be communicated to them in a way that resonates with them has to be communicated in a language that they clearly understand and you can't have too many bits. In a short amount of time. So like for example, when you download something off the internet. There's a download rate essentially and you can't go beyond that because the computer will start to miss things like you can't give too many bits. Per unit of time and so if I tell you hey mike remember this sequence of numbers. It's a 4 7 q l 1 2 3 8 11 b 1217 you're going to be like I don't know what the heck you're talking about now.

05:23.80

mikebledsoe

She.

05:26.10

Max Shank

If I stretch that over a much longer set of communication I can probably get you to remember all those things especially if I tell it to you in a story but by and law which is why? Ah so many stories were just. Told they weren't even written so we can go like way back like the way before we had written language we had spoken language so you have to be really clear on what you're trying to communicate and you can't give too many bits. Otherwise it gets lost So that's. I think 1 of the big things I've noticed both professionally and personally is people try to say too much and their core message gets lost right.

06:14.83

mikebledsoe

Right? Well I think um, 1 of the key things that you said there is that I'm not going to repeat you verbatim. But basically what I heard was people don't people aren't considering. The result of their communication before they communicate or while they're communicating my experience is that most people are trying to satisfy a feeling if I when I speak I Want to feel a certain way.

06:37.85

Max Shank

Right.

06:51.73

mikebledsoe

And it might be ah exactly the yeah, the feeling the the desire to be heard and understood is ah is a very common 1 when we study sales and marketing we go. Oh if you can just make the customer feel heard and understood.

06:52.14

Max Shank

Like a desire to be heard kind of thing.

07:08.27

Max Shank

Right? totally.

07:09.83

mikebledsoe

They'll buy almost anything from you. Even if you know as long as they if you people feel hurt and understood so infrequently that if when it happens it's a standout experience and there they they then.

07:23.37

Max Shank

And that's.

07:28.69

mikebledsoe

Get into this place where they know like and you know they like and trust you at least in that in that situation but 1 1 of the things I've come to ah realize is so many people are communicating for to solve for short term insecurities. They don't understand the long-term consequences of their communication most of which is there just communicating things that are like you were saying confusing people are confused by it and ah 1 of the ways that I that I have improved. My ability to communicate is really thinking. What is what is the result I'm trying to achieve with this information and the the more knowledge I've accumulated the the less knowledge I tend to lay out for someone to take on at a time. Spread it out as you were saying you know I could give you everything that you need to know in a weekend to to run your business effectively. But your ability to grok that and then put it into practice. It's just it's too much too Fast. It's not. Not going to get the desired result.

08:43.34

Max Shank

Yeah, So if you're communicating for self-gratification instead of conversion I think it's a really big mistake and I think it shows a lot of insecurity people tend to use a lot of 10 dollars Words. Or twenty dollars words it doesn't matter how much the words are but complicated words that people don't really understand as well and the more confident you are the less you feel a need to talk just to talk. And the less you feel a need to fill up the gaps in silence because you're like oh I'm I'm afraid the other person will start talking and then I'll lose my turn. So.

09:25.75

mikebledsoe

I used to do that I used to I would like I would throw a lot of ums in there. So I could stretch out what I was saying so no 1 could interrupt me I was signaling. Oh don't don't speak because I still have something to say.

09:40.71

Max Shank

And if you're smart It doesn't come out as an um, it's just another bit. You may not say um or Hm or and ah ah you it may just be I start talking about something else. So I keep the the conch shell right? the.

09:44.70

mikebledsoe

A.

09:59.40

Max Shank

The the talking stick. Ah, if you don't have a ah goal. It's fine. You know you don't want to like over analyze your whole life like I do in every word you say. But if you're just having um, if. You're communicating with someone. There should be a goal like I have a little checklist actually I can pop through real quick. So um, step 1 is who are you sending this to which is your audience step 2 is what do you want them to change or do which is the call to action. Ah, why should they which would be the benefits plus the supporting Features. What are the consequences. So the heaven or hell how will you inspire hope which are stories and steps make it feel easy and possible and how much. Time effort and cost will it take so what is the cost of what they're doing and when you realize that basically every bit of communication is you're you're trying to get someone to take a specific action at least when you start getting into ah writing and sales. Which is persuasion relationships are the same thing like I think you should take out the trash and I will do this instead and there are all kinds of ways that you can break it down. But if you don't know what you're trying to achieve at the very outset then it's it's fun. It's a conversation. It's a stream of consciousness boom boom boom back and Forth. There doesn't have to be a clear outcome involved. But I think that's where writing gives you a lot of clarity because you start structuring your ideas with. Supporting arguments. You know you have a premise like I think you should exercise in the morning for x y and z and here's the benefits that you get from it and you realize that you can't put. Too many bits in there and it forces you to consolidate your ideas into something that is digestible.

12:08.98

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and you said you said maybe you should not do what I've done which is put your your communication and and thoughts through constant analysis. But I found a lot of successful people. They may not be doing. Putting their thoughts through constant analysis currently or or putting a lot of attention into it. But I think going through a period of time where that happens ah a little a little thing that I've done and and I've challenged other people to do is to. Get rid of words in your vocabulary for a period of time and a word that gets Overused. So if you're using over usinging a word a word that I I think I still overuse. But I've got a lot better which is the word like. Which is extremely common for our generation. There's a lot of likes and you cut that 1 word out and you go well, that word's useful, but then you start when you cut it Out. You realize the majority of the use of that word that I I use it for is not Useful. It's wasted space.

13:23.37

Max Shank

It's filler. It's filler.

13:24.36

mikebledsoe

It's filler and and it can be confused if any filler creates more confusion by the way. Ah, and yeah, and so by removing that sometimes when it is useful I then have to go search for another word. And it's in its place. So 1 of the ways that I I train myself is I put a rubber band around my wrist and if I if the word slips through my lips I take a little band and I snap it on my Wrist. So I give myself a little little feedback.

13:49.14

Max Shank

Ah.

14:01.70

Max Shank

Do you worry that? um, you'll have to eventually upgrade to a shot collar just to get the same sensation.

14:01.39

mikebledsoe

On that. Ah.

14:07.59

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah, I've thought about that I actually was thinking about taking 1 of those shot collars and just putting it on my my nether regions in that just to really you know drive the point home now. How far does it go? ah.

14:14.21

Max Shank

Oh wow.

14:20.32

Max Shank

It um, it only goes 1 way typically.

14:24.50

mikebledsoe

Ah, well the the rubber band The rubber band is good because I've also been in I've been on stage before and snap my wrist. Ah and people go you know and I point out this is what I'm doing so it it becomes a social thing too is.

14:37.69

Max Shank

Right.

14:41.77

mikebledsoe

Oh I'm I'm showing everybody that I'm I'm making this mistake it. It brings it. It brings more of like a social awareness say I just said it a social awareness around what's going on and which brings more attention to it which causes me to be better about it.

14:53.22

Max Shank

Um.

15:01.63

mikebledsoe

So.

15:02.50

Max Shank

What's also fascinating is that when you appear more fallible people like you more like the thing that people hate most is the perfect guy. So interestingly enough so if you use.

15:05.59

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

15:18.30

Max Shank

Language like the common man and you go and um, you know what is that word? Oh yeah house like what's a you, you just? um, kind of develop that persuasion through affect. Rather than just having the simplest and most direct message possible because usually you are talking about persuasion of some kind you're persuading them to buy to try or to cry or to laugh or something like that. There's ah, there's a goal there.

15:48.94

mikebledsoe

Well people really value your intent I think a lot of people value intention over results. So even if you are fallible and you're you're going at least I'm trying people go oh you know, give you a little golf clap.

15:51.36

Max Shank

And just having.

16:04.25

Max Shank

Well whatever they believe your intention is right? So I think for your own psychological organization. You want to have the most clarity possible.

16:08.26

mikebledsoe

No.

16:21.64

Max Shank

Like essentially you want to have a triangle your triangle describes the main point and then each point of the triangle is the 3 like sub points of that. So. There's ah, a really solid clear precise structure to everything you're saying. But just communicating something in the simplest way possible isn't necessarily the most persuasive using stories and analogies that really make you feel certain things can be really beneficial even though they might seem. Superfluous or unnecessary like that word superfluous is a fun word to say but the fact that it means unnecessary and it's unnecessarily complicated is really hilarious.

17:21.77

Max Shank

These long pauses are really good for podcasting. You told me.

17:24.77

mikebledsoe

I did but then zencastr put this this little thing in the production where it cuts out anything over 1 point, 2 seconds it cuts it down in 1 point, 2 seconds. So it makes makes the pauses actually. Okay.

17:38.90

Max Shank

Whoa. So the folks at home won't get the full experience of that awkward pause.

17:46.96

mikebledsoe

Ah, 1 thing I find very interesting is when I when I started getting hip to the power of language I ah was really disgusted At. You know, maybe people aren't doing it on purpose. Maybe they are who knows yeah I was I was disgusted with well I stay disgusted about this. So. It's not like it's not as if this was a new feeling about this but education the the systematic government run.

18:05.94

Max Shank

It's a really strong emotion.

18:22.50

mikebledsoe

Education system really focuses on spelling things correctly and grammar. But what I notice is there's a ah lack of focus on definition of certain words.

18:29.41

Max Shank

Oh.

18:41.90

mikebledsoe

Ah, it's more about can we make it look pretty or are we following the rules of of ah you know don't put this word in front of this word and don't put this word at the end of the sentence and while completely leaving Out. You know how words shape our thoughts which shape our mind and and which words are helpful and which words won't be might be harmful and if you put them. You know if you follow this word with this other word. What's that doing to your mind and you know it. That hits me along with you know we teach algebra which no 1 hardly ever uses once they get out of high school. But no 1 knows how to balance their books. No 1 understands money the thing that they're constantly surrounded by so my my experience of language in regard to education is similar to that.

19:23.74

Max Shank

So so.

19:36.71

mikebledsoe

Mathematics and that ah you learn how to jump through all these hoops for the purpose of getting a good grade. But how are these things impacting your your life and being successful and so most of what I learned I was a very like reading and writing was. Was what I did. That was my best subjects and math was you know a little bit tougher for me but I look at all that and I go as as much as I learned about reading and writing and I was gotten these amazing grades.

19:57.70

Max Shank

So.

20:13.53

mikebledsoe

It wasn't until I was in my thirty s that I really started learning language in a way that was actually helpful for me. It's not complicated.

20:20.37

Max Shank

And it's not complicated. Good good communication either. I think what you said at the beginning about understanding how language shapes thought and that's the truth is language shapes thought. And of course your thought shapes the language that you use so it's a feedback loop but what I tell people is that everything about you that is not an animal is laid out with language. So every. Concept above your instincts is language driven. What is okay to do and what is not okay to do what is good to do what is bad that whole ah knowledge of good and evil thing that's all that's all language. That's it's basically. Anti-instinual pretty much so everything that we do that is not just pure animal instinct is laid on a foundation of language so you have to be really or you don't have to be but it's good to be very considerate of what language. You accept I mean we've talked about it I think in a past podcast even the concept of slavery is heavily based on the definition like that is a possibility so every every like thing we have and everything we have in place. Is laid out using words. It's conditional phrases if this then this every law is there's no such thing as ah laws. It's more crimes are defined. And punishments are also defined and sometimes they're left up to the discretion of the judge or something like that. But usually we define a crime we define a punishment we define a contest and we define a prize for that contest but everything. Outside of your base instincts is language so getting clear on how you would like to be and realizing that it's all just your perception that colors the world outside of instinct so you have instinct and then you have your. Individual perception. That's a that's a huge revel is revelation. That's enough to make anyone go crazy. Basically.

22:54.44

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, and and there's language shaping thoughts. So first I think most people think about language and they think about communication and but the the shaping of thoughts and really. Going inwards and go what is the language of my mind. How is the language of my mind playing out when I sit quietly when I say quietly and I notice oh these are not words that are coming out of my mouth but these are words that are running through the mind. What is.

23:28.44

Max Shank

Right? what.

23:32.30

mikebledsoe

How is that shaping my perception of this moment. What is what feelings? What feelings are associated with those words those words create a feeling um and and being curious about that and anyone who starts diving into how language shapes their thoughts.

23:35.27

Max Shank

Totally.

23:51.85

mikebledsoe

And you start making small tweaks. Oh I'm going to remove this I'm going to add this a game we call Play is with our coaching is the 1 word game is bring up a a common thought that comes up in your mind in this situation Cool What if we just changed 1 word. And we have them write out the thought right now write it out with 1 word change does that change how you feel and almost every time someone goes. Yeah I feel different because I took the not out of that is it accurate. Yes, or no, maybe yes, maybe no okay.

24:12.43

Max Shank

And.

24:31.27

mikebledsoe

What's the next word we would have to change to make this a more accurate statement. So what we do is we if if I I think a mistake that happens with in coaching that I see a lot of times as people go, you're doing it like this. Why don't you just try it like this and it's like and it's as if you changed 10 words of their.

24:33.35

Max Shank

Have.

24:50.36

mikebledsoe

Thoughts all at once going back to what you were saying before giving them bits giving them small bits so large and so shaping the mind 1 word at a time I'm going to use a piece of sandpaper to get us there instead of an axe and.

25:06.49

Max Shank

Like challenge change to ah but opportunity. For example, that's ah, that's a good 1 Yeah feels different.

25:08.33

mikebledsoe

Ah, exact. Yeah, exactly. So yup, that feels different when you say and then all of a sudden the ability to see opportunity opens up whereas challenges that word tends to focus possibility and. And just vision so really getting in the practice of recognizing how these thoughts shape how we think which shape how we perceive the world and and what our options may be and then we have language outside of ourselves which was I think about the thought of culture.

25:47.24

Max Shank

Spot Then what.

25:48.11

mikebledsoe

So all these concepts that I've used to look inwards in my own ability and then you know communicating with people who are closest to me in relationship. But then I start looking at the thought of culture. What are the what are the memes that come and. Not the memes you see on Instagram I mean those those do qualify those are a a version of these memes but a meme is a is it is a snippet of narrative. There's a meme in our culture of this and that and this yeah.

26:06.91

Max Shank

1

26:17.81

Max Shank

Like sorry tourette's sorry to write oh sorry? Sorry oh I'm sorry I'm sorry oh my god Jesus like is everyone really so sorry, all the time I used to do the same thing I have now gone.

26:24.21

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.

26:37.81

Max Shank

Completely the other way where I'm really cautious anytime I do say that because I'm not sorry like really.

26:45.61

mikebledsoe

No well I had someone recently is that I don't mean to cut you off, but and then and then just start kept talking I go I stopped him and I said yes you did and they go and there's a ah group of people in they go.

26:55.89

Max Shank

No yeah.

27:04.76

mikebledsoe

I Did what you meant to cut me off and they go and they kind of go. Ah, you said that and then you just kept on talking and they go oh shit I go I Go don't feel bad about it I'm just bringing this to your awareness you can cut I cut people off all the time but I don't tell people I don't.

27:09.95

Max Shank

Right? You know.

27:20.71

Max Shank

Um, right.

27:23.95

mikebledsoe

Started off by saying don't mean to cut you off cause like it's bullshit.

27:28.76

Max Shank

I'm not sexist but ladies are way better at cooking.

27:33.39

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, so so I start thinking about the thoughts of culture. Ah you know in the last year and a half it's been very. It's been on loudspeaker on social media. The the memes that the Instagram memes are are somewhat like those are cultural memes as well.

27:39.53

Max Shank

Ah.

27:50.33

Max Shank

No doubt.

27:51.74

mikebledsoe

Ah, and I think that if we when we go down to the core of culture. We actually do find law and those are the words that are laid out. They're not. It's not really law I Hate calling it law. It's it's policy So a group of people got together.

28:08.29

Max Shank

Crime and punishment.

28:11.37

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the kind of punishment conversation. You're having they they create a policy and you know they argue about which words we should use and what order and and we put them on this piece of paper and then and then we'll convince these policy enforcers that will tell you that they're here to protect and serve. But.

28:19.89

Max Shank

Her.

28:31.28

mikebledsoe

Really their job is to enforce policy and what you end up with is people don't really I don't think they actually recognize how important how our law is the foundation of culture and.

28:46.63

Max Shank

Ah, it's weaponized language.

28:50.92

mikebledsoe

Exactly I like that it's policy slash Weaponized language.

28:55.62

Max Shank

I Mean there's nothing.. There's nothing more ah like sneaky and coercive than drumming up these ah rules with punishments attached. In a language that the average person can't understand and when you think about how people have tried to control each other it really did go from the stick to the pen. You know the big guy with a big stick was like ah so like suppose I'm. Like a 200 and fifty pound monster with a club and you're just whatever your size is what are you like 1 sixty or something. Okay, so so suppose I'm like a yeah suppose I'm like a viking monster and I'm like hey there Mike ah I was just thinking I would I would take your house and your wife.

29:38.28

mikebledsoe

Yeah, 5 8 1 sixty not a big guy.

29:51.87

Max Shank

And ah and if you're not cool with that I'll I'll hit you with this stick until you're dead and for a long time that was how it worked basically. But then 1 day you were very clever and you were like hey hey hey whoa you don't want to do that because then you'll burn in hell forever.

29:58.25

mikebledsoe

E.

30:10.38

Max Shank

I Mean you've heard about fire right? It's really hot burns it hurts and plus if you if you don't kill and murder then you go to heaven which is the it's the best I mean what? what do you like.

30:13.90

mikebledsoe

Ah, well this is this is what the catholic.

30:21.27

mikebledsoe

Well, this is how the Catholic church got a hold of the Knights The Knights were an unruly crew. So the.

30:28.66

Max Shank

I mean you would be too if you had ultimate power to stick somebody anytime.

30:33.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, they the Knights ah a knight on a horse with armor could take out a Hundred peasants with ease. Ah and there's um, there's a.

30:44.23

Max Shank

A Hundred I think if those Hundred peasants had stick hundreds a lot I don't think so.

30:54.54

mikebledsoe

There's ah I was surprised by the statistics I was reading in That's to say he's on a horse a Knight a knight on a horse with let's say like a broadsw sword or something like that like most peasants aren't gonna touch him. He's gonna.

30:57.50

Max Shank

Maybe it feeds on a horse.

31:05.90

Max Shank

Ah. Most will run away. That's true. That's what happened with the the I think it was the Incas or something. It's a big It's a big difference I was talking about this at a party. Yeah.

31:11.35

mikebledsoe

Run right through him anyways, even if we say 25 whatever to huge difference so difference between like ah having a gun and a tank.

31:28.28

Max Shank

I Mean the difference between stick and no stick is actually pretty huge already. So it's just an arms race. But then we have this now instead of the rules of engagement of physical battle. It's the rules of engagement of stories and that's how we got to cooperate in.

31:43.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah, look yeah and and going back to what you're saying is the well what I was saying is the ah you come about making up a story of you're going to burn in hell.

31:47.00

Max Shank

In such big groups. We believe in the same tree spirit or something like that.

31:58.60

Max Shank

Right.

32:00.49

mikebledsoe

Which is basically what the catholic church did the catholic church came to the Knights and said hey you guys are doing a lot of raping and pillaging we got to get us under control so they created what's it called ah chivalry.

32:06.00

Max Shank

Right.

32:16.50

Max Shank

So so.

32:18.51

mikebledsoe

They created Chivalry so Chivalry Chivalry is a narrative like oh you want to be a chivalrous Knight because if you're chivalrous then you'll get the reward that you're looking for well being ah having Chivalry is the modern day citizen.

32:21.79

Max Shank

Ah.

32:29.78

Max Shank

It's like ethics right? we were talking about a few podcasts ago.

32:36.86

Max Shank

Um, ah.

32:38.48

mikebledsoe

So being a chivalrous knight is the same thing as being a good citizen today. Oh aka good slave and so the yeah, an obedient slave.

32:42.37

Max Shank

A good citizen right? right? obedient I Think yeah yeah.

32:54.98

Max Shank

I Mean you don't want a disobedient slave that like totally defeats the purpose if you can't see the value of owning a slave then you're just kidding yourself I mean I can totally understand everyone has tried to enslave not everybody. But.

32:59.62

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it makes they're difficult hard to.

33:14.68

Max Shank

Ah, so many so much slavery in the history of mankind. It's like hey do I want to do this work or do I want to sit on a horse with a whip while this other guy does the work I get it I get it.

33:24.45

mikebledsoe

Yeah, if you look at Western Society We have the least amount of slavery where I'd say we have the least where we're sitting in the in a world of like the least harsh slavery in all of human history.

33:36.25

Max Shank

And probably best for women's rights ever I mean you know about the bros before hose amendments. That's what I That's just what I call them So it's easy to remember we gave.

33:43.55

mikebledsoe

Now.

33:53.30

Max Shank

We're really losing her female audience right now. Ah we gave ah black guys. The ability to vote before women before white women and I just I just find that pretty funny because just before that black people were enslaved here.

33:59.86

mikebledsoe

Oh that's right.

34:11.90

Max Shank

But women were not enslaved but we just fast-track dudes to like yeah you can you could call the shots with a not you ladies though, you ladies no no and so you think about how that has accelerated so much and then in other parts of the world like I don't know.

34:11.48

mikebledsoe

E.

34:30.17

Max Shank

The middle East For example, it's very clear pecking order right of who's in charge. But I think there have been some costs of that like for example, like ah in the.

34:33.27

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

34:48.32

Max Shank

Normal hollywood stories. Let's say the simpsons you know Homer simpson is an oaf married with children al Bundy is an oaf. So I think 1 of the things that is quite harmful and a little bit insidious is this. Male weakness where he's like always trying to like get sex with the lady and he's a dumb guy and he's like I mean even at the highest level we do this weird thing where presidents will be like oh well I got to check with the wife first to see if it's okay and you're like whoa this is like. What is going on here like this weak. Ah male figure is probably pretty destructive to the hearts and minds of our culture.

35:39.22

mikebledsoe

Yeah I ah um, will get away from such touchy subjects for a secondc I'll make it maybe a little more palatable here. Ah yeah, 1 of the.

35:51.94

Max Shank

I Think that's what you're here for.

35:57.96

mikebledsoe

But we ah if we want to look at the power of narrative if we look at tv shows we look at ah what happens in Tvs and movies who's always the oaf it like that. It's the personal trainer if you're the personal trainer. The coach you're you're dumb. He's a dumb meathead.

36:14.92

Max Shank

I am.

36:17.52

mikebledsoe

But then they make entire television series about these Genius doctors that are saving. People's lives in the Er emergency room but and so and on what the narrative is personal trainers are dumb miaheads and on the other end is these doctors are are complete geniuses.

36:26.31

Max Shank

Um, ah but.

36:37.29

mikebledsoe

And so we have an entire culture that doesn't want to listen to people who are telling them how to be healthy but will do anything somebody Lab coat will have on and it's really how it's been played out. That's the narrative but the yeah and.

36:49.51

Max Shank

Um, that's the appeal to authority that's that's 1 of the 2 main fallacies that we make appeal to authority and ad hominem attack and that goes right back into our language conversation because those are the 2 main things you see.

37:00.49

mikebledsoe

Well well couldn't the narrative be couldn't the narrative be that people who are say health coaches are fucking geniuses and they have the authority and you should listen to them because they know better. And medical doctors are are there just in case, you don't listen to the Health Guys. You know, just in case you were you were making poor decisions Now you got to go see this guy. You dumb Ass. So what? Ah what would it take for that that narrative to be painted.

37:30.60

Max Shank

Well.

37:36.83

mikebledsoe

And I mean I think we go back to law right? There are laws regulating Medicine way much more heavily than they are the health industry. So I see that I see the health and well there's ah, there's a way. Ah, okay, let's get into semantics here right? until we have yeah.

37:44.72

Max Shank

Oh yeah.

37:54.79

Max Shank

That's all we've been doing.

37:56.47

mikebledsoe

The Healthcare care industry right? people talk about Healthcare industry and then you know people go? Oh it's not the Healthcare care industry. It's the sick care industry and which is more accurate. Um, and people don't want to hear that they they like oh that's true, but they don't really dig into it.

38:06.35

Max Shank

No.

38:16.50

mikebledsoe

But ah, the way I've been thinking about more lately is we have a medical system and then we have a health system where we have a health industry and then we have a medical industry and the medical industry is not the health industry and the health industry is not the medical industry and the medical industry is getting all the attention it gets. People are listening to medical doctors are listening to all this but the the health industry has got if anything ah a more diminished voice ah over the yet last year and a half people like people who are more health oriented and preventative like.

38:36.26

Max Shank

And.

38:55.50

mikebledsoe

Mercola or rob wolf or abel james all these I I have many personal friends who have been censored and ah, what's it called shadow band.

39:09.42

Max Shank

We could do. We could do a whole show on censure censorship I think it's always bad though I think that is such a slippery slope because as Thomas Soul rightly Puts its. Not about what will we do? It's who will decide what we do so who gets to be the arbiter of what is true and what is not true and just from ah an uncommon sense standpoint What is the gain.

39:35.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

39:49.11

Max Shank

From silencing people why why would that happen in the first place

39:56.73

mikebledsoe

You don't want competing narratives.

39:59.83

Max Shank

Yeah, you have to protect your authority right? because the reality is people are very uncomfortable taking responsibility for their own lives. We've been taught from a young age. Let's put that responsibility on someone else, but. Where goes the responsibility also goes the power. So the reality is in America most most death maybe like 80 percent is self-caused by ah by a variety of things and that's a really high number. People commit suicide directly way more than they murder each other which I think shows how kind we ah really are at heart we would rather kill ourselves way higher. Yeah, it's like four x yeah, it's like.

40:46.30

mikebledsoe

We have a higher suicide rate than a murder rate is that what you're saying um I'm not familiar with these stats I'm not familiar with murder rates.

40:57.50

Max Shank

Yeah, it's not high. It's really low like we barely murder people at all relative to how much we kill ourselves directly with like a toaster in the bathtub or a bottle bottle of pills.

41:05.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think we've lost more more soldiers in the united states more soldiers to suicide than than battle in the last twenty years

41:14.74

Max Shank

Yeah war seems really really tough and then so I have to add on to that statistic people would be like wait 80 percent of people get self-destruct yeah because if you sit on a couch for. 40 years and eat tons of cheetos or whatever your snack of choice is and you become very very fat like you're responsible for when you get diabetes didn't kill you you killed yourself and diabetes was just the way that you ultimately died. So. Most people kill themselves with their choices and there's a distinction I want to make and it's between fault and responsibility because I think if you see a fat kid. That's the parent's fault for sure. But if that. Fat kid grows up to be a fat adult then it's still their responsibility to decide whether or not they want to get healthy so it may not be their fault that they were set up in that situation I mean a lot of people have challenges or opportunities and.

42:17.85

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

42:29.61

Max Shank

Think it's going to be tougher. No question but you still have to accept that responsibility and once you realize that most people kill themselves quickly or slowly you start feeling that responsibility once again. For your own life and I think that's extremely valuable in terms of how how you live.

42:54.41

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the the fault and responsibility distinctions. Great. That's something um you know at our previous Conversation. We talked about collapse distinction and what you're saying there is people that there what I What we've seen is a collapse distinction around fault and responsibility. And ah, it's a common phrase I've used in coaching which is and may not be your fault but it is your responsibility and I think's I think it's good for people to hear that because fault comes with a lot of times associated with guilt.

43:21.50

Max Shank

Great.

43:32.70

mikebledsoe

Um, it's my fault now I feel guilty about it when someone stuck gets stuck in and dwells in guilt. They usually have a hard time making the change necessary because now they start now when guilt arises a lot of the behavior that comes out of guilt is punishing 1 ne's self and.

43:49.21

Max Shank

You know for 1

43:50.97

mikebledsoe

You're going to punish yourself by either making it worse or not changing so you have to get to a place of like looking at fault even if it is your fault is getting to a place of of forgiveness and then that way you can move into being responsibility and I think about responsibility as. Simply the ability to Respond. Do you have the ability to respond yes or no, okay, well then you're responsible now you can choose whether you're going to respond or not, that's that's up to you but again, we're back at choice and so I I think what you said was really important for people to hear is.

44:15.22

Max Shank

Great.

44:27.97

mikebledsoe

Fault and responsibility because when we look at if I look at Politics. For instance, there's a lot of people. What what? you'll hear them say is when something goes wrong. They we need to figure out who's responsible but they don't actually go look for responsibility. Because they would all have to look at themselves what they do is they they start looking at who to blame? Yeah, so it's like now they're looking at whose fault it is and who they can blame so they can they can ah externalize the shame and guilt so that they can then.

44:49.44

Max Shank

The whipping Boy. Right.

45:04.66

mikebledsoe

Keep doing whatever the fuck they wanted to do in the first place and while making the public at large you know angry at somebody and manipulating them. So so it's yeah.

45:11.69

Max Shank

Doesn't work. It doesn't work once you once you blame,, There's no end to the blaming. That's it. It's 2 Thousand year old book says that we it's It's not that we don't have access to the information. It's that. We let our ego get in the way we want to find retribution. We want to put the responsibility onto somebody else. We want to get ourselves as far away from the bad thing as possible because we want to think of ourselves as good and. That's also the primary barrier to change is we get so attached to the story that we've built up for ourselves I'm good because X Y Z or even I'm bad because X y Z people tend to hang onto them just as tightly which is so.

46:00.42

mikebledsoe

E.

46:05.39

Max Shank

Fricking Weird right? You are stuck in this story of you and you are trying to get as much permanence as possible. That's what people mostly chase is they want permanence.. That's why um. When we're Dead. We Want little condos for ourselves. Still we want We want to like sit in a graveyard. We're like I'm still here I'm still here hey story of me still here not going anywhere I will last as long as this funny shaped rock and it's a crazy thing that we do So Everything comes back To. Story Story Story. The mass behaviors are story driven everything that we do professionally is often just to find Love. That's what's so funny if I show. That I can protect which in our era now is a house car and a retirement fund and you know you go up a boat a plane an island.

47:12.49

mikebledsoe

I'll tell you this yeah, that's accurate and when ah when ah dating my my girlfriend. Ah when she first saw me with with firearms and she saw how good I was with them. She was like oh my god I'm um. Just so turned on right now and I yeah, ah okay I was just I'll just trying to show you how to shoot. But.

47:37.18

Max Shank

That's very natural desires to be feel protected and I think that would you say that's the primary reason that ladies go for a wealthier. Dude It's for protection. It's for safety.

47:48.89

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well, there's there's but there's protection and then there's provision as well as so ah and they go hand in hand First you got to protect? Yeah, but well.

47:51.36

Max Shank

You know that's the that's the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy

48:01.18

Max Shank

We don't want to collapse distinction. Those.

48:07.63

mikebledsoe

You protect first and then provide second you know yeah, all that all that comes down to safety. Yeah.

48:08.74

Max Shank

Um, well we could just call it safety Can you keep me can you keep me safe. Can you keep me safe and well you know the more simple language we can use in this particular case the better it is and.

48:23.90

mikebledsoe

Well, there's ah I've also ah gone on the other side of that which is looking at not so much about ah a lot of the safety he has to do with what we want to avoid but also ah how you were how you experienced love as a child. So some people.

48:38.75

Max Shank

Ah.

48:41.48

mikebledsoe

Especially the the experience with their father whether you're a man or a woman your experience of your father. What was his how did you experience him? What was your fondest memories of him right? So ah for me. Ah I first.

48:52.28

Max Shank

Here.

48:59.50

mikebledsoe

Remember my my father as as a teacher whereas I noticed some people they saw their father as a provider or a protector and so that's how they show up in relationship so they'll show up because that's how they experience love so on the safety side that's well, it's about avoiding things but on the love side.

49:00.78

Max Shank

Earth. And.

49:18.89

mikebledsoe

About what we want to move towards and so if you can create safety then the next thing we we look at is well how did you experience your father and ah, how did you experience love from. How did you know that your father loved you like I know that my father loved me because of the way because he taught me and here I am I become. My primary role in my my work is to be a teacher and that's that's my way of showing love and so I also recognize the women that I date tend to be teachers in some way or or they lead in some way instead of I don't care if they make a lot of money because I Never really saw my dad as like.

49:40.16

Max Shank

Earth.

49:56.88

mikebledsoe

The primary role in him his life wasn't to provide for me but I'm not a lady in a lot of women I talked to that's how they experienced their dad as oh they provided me protected me all that and so that's what they look for.

49:58.77

Max Shank

But you're also not a lady.

50:09.10

Max Shank

Right? That makes a lot of sense I think we should call our podcast traps and treasures I really do I thought about it a lot I think that's the best 1 we have and it describes look. The reality is.

50:20.47

mikebledsoe

I Think it is too.

50:27.90

Max Shank

The average person could never listen to another podcast again and live totally well like that's what's so ironic about this experience for me is a lot of the time I feel like people just need to stop taking in so much input just just sit there. Quiet. With a piece of paper and think about what you really want like what is what is treasure mean to you? What does trap mean to you and that's what's so interesting about nurturing is we're implanting watch out for this look out for these. You're going to like these These are really bad.

50:50.69

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

51:05.20

Max Shank

And as I've said before for Gorillas it's so simple because they're like don't eat this green plant do eat this green plant and it's just do this Don't do this do this don't do this so that's what learning that's how learning can let you skip the line a little bit. Otherwise you have to experience every pain and fire Firsthand. That's the the big advantage of learning secondhand hey if you touch the fire you'll burn your hand now you can believe me. You can burn yourself on the fire and learn for yourself and I think we would agree that you do learn better through Firsthand experience but some things you don't want to risk you don't want to risk it for that traps and treasures.

51:55.79

mikebledsoe

Yeah, we now have the name the show traps and treasures now that's right, it's not it's not mike and Max or does a Maxim mike which 1 of us was first. Um.

52:02.31

Max Shank

With max and mike with Max and mike by the way I will um I I quit I quit unless my name is first.

52:14.70

mikebledsoe

Ah, um that's okay that's okay um I actually don't care that much I I care like I care like 1 percent. Yeah I like 1 percent. Maybe yeah.

52:24.81

Max Shank

He cares? he he cares. He just wants to look cool. He cares.

52:33.78

mikebledsoe

If I if if you didn't care at all my name First you care if you care 2 percent like I fucking give it to them. Um, so we got to subtitle this there's got to be like what's our. What's our mission statement here.

52:34.28

Max Shank

Um.

52:49.47

mikebledsoe

Is for traps and treasures. Yeah, who's the audience. What are we helping them with.

52:49.79

Max Shank

For for traps and treasures.

53:01.96

Max Shank

I mean maybe we can think about this a little bit before we just kill our airtime today. Yeah, let's do some more long awkward pauses I like it.

53:06.29

mikebledsoe

Um, it's the best way to end the show and the show with that. We're gonna do some ah research on this if anyone has any suggestions fire him over. So um, yeah in it.

53:20.83

Max Shank

That's ah I was thinking that you know there are there are traps and treasures within and without we can go into what to look out for. In a business partner or a romantic partner and we can also look out for what kind of thought patterns that we engage in and how we communicate with ourselves and how we I always talk about framing the experience. How you frame the experience. So for example, it's pretty windy and cloudy today in Southern california but I like it and I appreciate a sound such like a hippie but basically I really appreciate the the difference I like to see the. The wind blowing the leaves around and it looks very textured and cool and it's it's a nice change of pace and then the other experience the other frame of that experience is oh it's it's cold and I I hate this cold weather and it's so windy today and I think. The way that we frame our experience with language is really the only way to be happy ultimately because happiness is sort of like a fleeting feeling and it just depends on what you compare it to probably a better. Goal would be to remove as many of the ego barriers as possible and just flow with the natural rhythms of nature which is what we talked about last week so I think the traps and treasures within and without are. Totally framed by language so it can be languages like a knife you can stab yourself with it or you can perform surgery and save life.

55:30.23

mikebledsoe

Beautiful.

55:31.69

Max Shank

Language is also the ultimate leverage tool of human beings more than anything by far because it's allowed us to transcend space and time with our ideas and build upon them progressively. So if you want to learn how to use the best. Leverage tool we've ever come up with that's probably a good return on investment for your time. I mean if you just practiced your ability to communicate really practiced for like 2 hours a day within a year you'd be in the top five percent. So no matter what your personal interests were. You could be successful at them. I mean that's how that's how powerful it is I mean you don't need to do anything else you you can have the little phrase you can tell or be told.

56:15.32

mikebledsoe

You'd probably be in the top 1 percent.

56:29.46

Max Shank

And if you want to dig a hole That's great, but wouldn't you rather come up with a good plan and tell someone else where to dig the hole. But either way you got to tell or be told that's language.

56:35.15

mikebledsoe

Um, but you know the highest paid highest paid positions in the world would be salespeople and ceos job.

56:47.10

Max Shank

Because they can move people.

56:50.49

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and well the job as Ceo is to communicate a vision that enrolls people into gets them excited to do a thing to create the future which he made up with his words or she and then the same with a salesperson I mean sales is just a conversation.

57:00.93

Max Shank

Ah. I Love that in a lot of companies. The person who sells the most gets more than the Ceo because that a lot because that is the most important thing and once you realize that that interaction.

57:12.47

mikebledsoe

That happens a lot.

57:24.87

Max Shank

With the customer I mean you and I have some experience in salesmanship and marketing and what's correct I bet you do ah the the value of being able to.

57:31.76

mikebledsoe

I Crush sales now. It's so much fun.

57:44.15

Max Shank

Put together a message that converts that you can leverage is crazy because it's not something that everybody can do ah language everybody most powerful tool We have.

57:52.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah, it's rare. Yeah yep, or we'll call it there call it there make sure to go to Maankank Dot com.

58:02.24

Max Shank

Available to us. Call it there I like it.

58:12.37

mikebledsoe

And Max shank and all the other platforms.

58:15.74

Max Shank

Make sure you check out mike underscore blood. So on Instagram thank you for joining us for traps and treasures with max and mike.

58:20.54

mikebledsoe

I Sure that's me.

58:30.45

mikebledsoe

Um, later.

Nov 1, 2021

00:02.36

Max Shank

Welcome back. Everyone to the max and Mike Podcast Hope you're having a lovely day. We're talking about long-term Strategy V versus short-term Burnout. There's a quote I like from the daw. Which is the flame that burns brightest burns half as long and I think that's a natural that's a natural method for super masculine guys. Anyone who's like trying to prove themselves or trying to achieve. A lot in a short amount of time. It's It's really common to experience some burnout I know I've experienced some burnout I would imagine that most of the people listening also have Mike I'm sure you have experienced some. Ah.

00:58.34

mikebledsoe

Few times. Yeah.

00:59.80

Max Shank

Burnout in your life a few times. So yeah, well I'm reminded of another quote from the dow I'll just quote the dow this whole episode because it's it's it's my favorite book. It really did.

01:08.50

mikebledsoe

Perfect. Well it makes sense to quote the doubt for this topic.

01:18.28

Max Shank

Put patience in a ah strong light and the the quote that I'm thinking of now is nature does not hurry and yet all is accomplished and kind of makes you start focusing on. Process rather than the result and it's a bit of a paradox because if you don't have a clear target in your mind you are maybe less likely to achieve it. But if you are so chaotically just maniacally focused on the result you won't. Appreciate the process of how to get there and you might have a little less craftsmanship. So it's kind of that balancing of the pain and the desire to achieve a certain goal versus the peace and presence of being where you are. And focusing on what you're doing like a ah Master craftsman.

02:21.45

mikebledsoe

It's so much more enjoyable to be in that craftsman space and being in that I guess we could call it like the craftsman versus the visionary and or like being to me a visionary is someone who who sets a ah.

02:30.87

Max Shank

Ah, what.

02:38.26

mikebledsoe

Ah, plan for the future but in a way that is clear where you also have the daydreamer So the visionaries like the the healthy way of seeing the future but the daydreamer is somebody who spent waste time.

02:49.59

Max Shank

What? but.

02:55.47

mikebledsoe

Thinking about what could be in the future but doesn't actually execute. But yeah I like the idea of having like the visionary is is 1 thing and the craftsman's on the other side and ah I've spent a lot of time in the visionary role and 1 of the things that i've.

02:58.30

Max Shank

Ah, but.

03:13.53

mikebledsoe

That I've needed to do because I grew up a daydreamer and then I started shifting that consciously into creating a very specific thing I would narrow my focus down onto. We're going to accomplish this and I noticed it what I've adjusted over time is the amount of attention I.

03:15.58

Max Shank

A.

03:33.13

mikebledsoe

Put into vision and the amount ah amount of attention I put into being the craftsman have shifted so I spend so when I I put a lot of attention into being a visionary I'll ah so I'll wipe an entire day on my schedule and once a year

03:39.24

Max Shank

Something like.

03:50.94

mikebledsoe

And I'll envision the next year for my business for instance and then yeah and then you know I create in every ninety days I meet with my team for a few hours to create the ninety day plan and every month we meet for like an hour to make sure that that month is squared away and so that's.

03:55.18

Max Shank

It's like chunking.

04:09.41

mikebledsoe

But rhythm that I found. That's really helped me balance out that visionary with execution and it's allowed me to really just focus in on the execution be a craftsman because I trust that the plan that I'm working towards that. What I what I've planned to execute. Is actually taking me to where I want to be and now when I'm executing I'm not thinking about the result I'm just thinking about doing the best job I can with a thing that's right in front of me right now and it's created a lot more patience and things have become yeah like life has been. More enjoyable I don't try to squeeze too much in too little time. Um, but you know hey I turned forty last week so this is definitely something that comes with age.

04:50.95

Max Shank

Ah.

04:59.90

Max Shank

Well, some people never get there right? They live and die without really honing that skill of I just call it time travel skills. You know you look back to your books on the wall which is like your memories. You look forward into the crystal ball. Which is the future and then you have the ability to be super present here and now like ram dos style and if you're able to do that consciously like I am going to project myself into a potential future and. Iron out those details and clarify that vision. That's a superpower and if you're stuck there Forever. You are just swimming in anxiety and if you're going back into the past and you're able to do it expertly. That's how you learn and I mean. You know nostalgia is kind of like a dangerous thing too. I think but if you if you stay in the past too long. You can get depressed. You can get hung up on all of the stuff you did like oh I should have done it differently I mean I always think that way.

06:10.13

mikebledsoe

Or there's also like people who who they they they have the nostalgia of the past and then they are comparing it to the present moment and then and in a way the where the present's not as good as the past that doesn't happen as much with our friends probably. But.

06:24.72

Max Shank

Yeah, totally I mean.

06:29.89

mikebledsoe

If you look at the average person. The average 35 year olds probably like me in high school man that was when I was having all the fun.

06:35.78

Max Shank

Well, the only absolute is relativity. You can't describe something without describing something else first and when I think about the the stressors that I experience now here's a story that will make everyone hate me. And it will paint like a really good picture like so ah first it'll it'll make you like me and then it'll make you go fuck that guy so first I remember that my my mom left and my dad and my brother got really depressed. And I was doing all the work basically and my outward frustration was like nothing like I was upset about it but it was like whatever the other day 1 of the speakers in my steam shower stopped working. And I was like what the fuck and like 1 of those is like obviously worse like for a child to shoulder the burden of supporting a family is like way more than I mean I still had 1 steam shower speaker that was working right. Like it wasn't like a whole thing but it but it just goes to show that that like relativity you have this idea based on ah the past, but you also have um, kind of like feature creep. You know people don't like to go down. In Lifestyle chris rockt is like a hilarious bit. It's like women don't go down in lifestyle and he says he does like this whole thing where like once you get to a certain level. You never want to go the opposite way. So it's all it's all what you compare it to and if you get stuck. Like what you're talking about you either are looking back at the past as better than right now or you're looking back as like oh I I was bad then or I did something wrong and then you pull it you pull it with you into the present. So.

08:43.40

mikebledsoe

Um, a lot of people end up punishing themselves for a past behavior in the present moment which then just creates creates more negative future moments.

08:49.81

Max Shank

Being able.

08:54.74

Max Shank

Dude. It steals the potential joy and peace out of the present and I I did a ton of that like I would um, you know who knows exactly why but when I I would like rehearse and prepare for a conversation. Even.

09:14.44

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

09:17.41

Max Shank

And be like okay this person might say this and then I can say that and then I would also look back to times when I was like a child and be like oh so stupid for saying that that was so mean or that was so dumb and so I think it's it's normal.

09:29.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

09:36.97

Max Shank

To have those feelings. It's just whether or not you can let them go so that you can be present and you can also project forward with a with a powerful positioning like I can influence my life in a constructive way.

09:39.91

mikebledsoe

What.

09:54.68

Max Shank

Here's my future plan that is better and also I can come back to the present and do that deep work because if you're thinking if you're just thinking about the pot of gold If you're just thinking about the result you're probably not going to do as good craftsmanship.

10:09.54

mikebledsoe

Yeah, absolutely the way I look at ah emotions and memories. Ah, there are everyone has emotions they dwell on and emotions they avoid and you know.

10:23.71

Max Shank

Um.

10:27.32

mikebledsoe

People Probably a lot of people probably hear that and think yeah people dwell on happy you know, positive emotions or what's perceived as positive emotions and avoid negative and that's not necessarily true I know that for myself I used to dwell on guilt The the emotion of guilt and.

10:38.77

Max Shank

The hurt.

10:46.46

mikebledsoe

Like it. It was deep down in my gut and like I just felt guilt from like when I was a little kid. It just felt guilty a lot and then I got older and I felt guilty a lot and and the benefit of it of guilt is that you'll change your behavior because you're you're guilty about how you did something.

10:54.74

Max Shank

Are.

11:03.74

Max Shank

In here.

11:05.78

mikebledsoe

But the problem is is if any emotion. But even if it's joy if you're dwelling on that instead of just allowing that emotion to move because they they tend to move unless you suppress or or just um, start creating start.

11:14.60

Max Shank

Hit a.

11:24.76

mikebledsoe

Remembering stories that you associate with that feeling and you end up in a perpetual loop like oh everyone likely can understand this or go oh I do do that is thing about ah something you were you felt guilty about or bad about in the past and then you'll have that feeling. And then you'll have a thought of something else. You're guilty about and something else. You're guilty about and and so then you just end up having a bad day right? Yeah, this 1 thing triggers a memory which triggers the feeling and that feeling triggers more memories and so we end up practicing being in this.

11:44.85

Max Shank

Here. Right.

12:02.37

mikebledsoe

This pattern um like ah ah, a guiltridden pattern and yeah, they're just wasting so much energy and time being in a pattern versus just going like you were saying letting it go and to me the key to letting it go is to feel it fully go. You know what. I Don't really look at guilt as a negative thing. It's like it's a gift and I get to learn from it and I go look I am totally present with this emotion I Love it. I accept it I Love it and I got my lesson from it and then if you can do that. That's that's a superpower.

12:39.64

Max Shank

Ah, oh yeah, once you shine a light on it. It's no longer. Ah scary. It's no longer lurking in the shadows. There's a french phrase ah to know all is to forgive all never heard that 1 I like that 1 a lot.

12:39.71

mikebledsoe

Very few people can do that.

12:44.75

mikebledsoe

Right.

12:54.33

mikebledsoe

No.

12:59.22

Max Shank

I Mean it's That's my translation. It's in French but I don't speak French Currently So um I mean I might I might later? Yeah, um, but when you think about your self.

13:05.10

mikebledsoe

But used to maybe or in the future. Yeah later. Okay.

13:18.54

Max Shank

Recognizing I mean I still am like this with myself you got to realize that you're a combination of different instincts and stories and all kinds of things where how could you not be more forgiving of yourself. You know like I I know so little still and you know I do this thing on my birthday where I just think man I've accomplished so little I don't really look at it as like a positive thing because it's more like feel like I'm a little bit behind ah my schedule which probably just From. Setting really high goals. But if you don't like forgive the fact that you are a monkey just trying to figure stuff out in some sort of Cyber Punk Weird Ah Lifestyle It's going to be really. Painful for you I mean the the whole reason that people do great or terrible things is because they're like deeply dissatisfied with the way things are right. So if you're not deeply dissatisfied with how the way things are ah you'll you probably do very little. You'll just Enjoy. So I think you said it best is you don't run from that emotion. You don't ignore that emotion. You experience it fully and I think Curiosity is the best way is like the most constructive ah mentality to have about it where you don't take anything personally I think that's 1 of those four agreements is do your best. Don't take anything personally. Um.

14:51.65

mikebledsoe

E.

15:08.68

Max Shank

So yeah, getting getting curious about the emotion and accepting it and accepting the the fact that we are very emotional creatures if not the most emotional creatures and that'll make it so you're able to forgive yourself which is kind of a precursor for letting that stuff.

15:17.89

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

15:27.84

Max Shank

Go that doesn't serve you.

15:28.20

mikebledsoe

I Think that the taking ah I think we get further define taking things. Personally, this is a this is something that I see people get hung up on a lot and I had a ah a big breakthrough around. My thinking around taking things personally are you familiar with the concept of collapse distinction collapsed collapsed distinction. Okay so collapsed distinction is where ah the human mind.

15:53.29

Max Shank

Um, class distinction. No.

16:05.47

mikebledsoe

We'll take 2 words and they've collapsed them into the same meaning and so and people start behaving that way. 1 example is ah, there's a collapse distinction for ah, most mothers they have collapsed love and worry.

16:21.97

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

16:23.38

mikebledsoe

So it right? It makes sense right? Your mom the way she expresses love she doesn't if she's not worried about you. She doesn't feel like she's loving you and yeah, exactly and so.

16:34.16

Max Shank

She might feel guilty that she's not worried.

16:42.58

mikebledsoe

Um, in in Mothers learn this from their mothers. So this is something that's happened for a long time and so it's like there's a collapse distinction because if we look at but but for us so I'm a son you're a son. If our mom we get on the phone with arm change. Oh okay, the daughter. yeah yeah I think you should just go with the queue. That's what I do yeah I'm I'm ah questioning all the time.

17:04.70

Max Shank

I'm thinking of changing actually to daughter or or undecided. Perhaps I think I might be a tree actually.

17:19.52

mikebledsoe

Ah, so ah, was it somebody somebody so somebody somebody did somebody did I was like you was like well um I fall into the que category I'm I'm definitelyquet like once I realize the Q stand for questioning I go if you're not questioning what are you doing like.

17:22.61

Max Shank

Sorry for the derail.

17:38.30

mikebledsoe

And then somebody was like almost founded offensive that I would identify as questioning I go like you're straight I'm like like ah now you're questioning my identity So like like all of a sudden I'm not allowed to yeah, it's it's funny. Ah, anyways, let's get back to it Collapse distinction. Love and worry.

17:51.30

Max Shank

That's hilarious.

17:57.50

mikebledsoe

Ah, and as a son if my mom over the years has expressed worry for me. It's I don't experience. Love I'm experiencing. It's annoying. Yeah, yeah, it's fear which is a lot of people say those are opposites.

18:06.80

Max Shank

Fear fear which is a fear and love are are good opposites. Yeah that that once again that the distinction is important right? How you use those words.

18:15.75

mikebledsoe

Ah, but um. Yeah, and so we've collapsed something that is fear based with something that's love based and so ah, you know all we got to do is pull up these 2 definitions and what's the definition of love. What's the definition of Worry. These are very different things and don't even belong in the same category together.

18:26.65

Max Shank

Brutal.

18:40.17

mikebledsoe

So ah, that's ah, just as an example of a collapse distinction and so now now that we all have the awareness of there's something called collapse distinction that exists and the consciousness of Humans. We can then look for collapse distinction and the more distinction you can create successful distinction. That's the expansion of consciousness because we can look at at 1 aspect of consciousness is is built off of our vocabulary which is the structure of our thoughts and or ah the building blocks of our thoughts. Yeah well,, That's a whole.

19:12.29

Max Shank

Probably most.

19:17.99

mikebledsoe

We can go down that rabbit hole sometime. Ah, but we should define consciousness.

19:18.70

Max Shank

I Mean everything that's not instinct everything. That's not instinctual is a artificial creation Thanks to language.

19:27.68

mikebledsoe

Yes, yes, so 1 of the things that I 1 of the the collapse distinctions I stumbled upon a couple years ago was ah being sensitive and taking things personally so what I noticed is people would say.

19:42.31

Max Shank

A.

19:47.51

mikebledsoe

Oh You're just being sensitive when they really meant you're taking it personally I go. They're not being sensitive. They're taking it Personally, they're actually being insensitive by making it about them and so to me taking it personally means that. I am taking whatever is happening in the world and I'm making it mean something about me. Usually it's a very selfish thing to do and or it or it can be in a positive way still be.. You're still taking it personally.

20:09.39

Max Shank

And usually in a negative way talk totally totally well it well what it is is. It's putting yourself into a victim role and taking it. It. It's funny because it is literally taking you are taking it.

20:24.20

mikebledsoe

But it's usually negative.

20:34.29

Max Shank

And you are making it personal to yourself so that you can adopt that victim mentality and take on that victim role which is super effective in getting you attention and I think the word is conflate. You don't want to conflate.

20:43.83

mikebledsoe

Ahead.

20:50.64

Max Shank

Being sensitive with taking things personally because being sensitive is actually a huge advantage if you want to be successful in life. It's very useful to be sensitive to all sorts of things and there are all kind of different sensitivity like for. Ah, developing really good feel in your fingertips. You can lay a hair in between 2 pieces of paper and you can try to feel that single hair between the 2 pieces of paper. So If you're trying to become like a body worker having that sensitivity is a huge Advantage. Advantage being sensitive to someone's body language I mean using the 5 senses that's sensitivity you're hearing so sensitivity is crazy superpower if you can pick up on a person's energy.

21:36.50

mikebledsoe

E.

21:45.58

Max Shank

And dogs are of course good at this because they're not so encumbered by a lot of the language things right? So There's all kinds of senses and sensations and sensitivity that we have that is crazy powerful. Ah so it's important to not conflate that like you said with taking things personally. Which is just like um the crying ego trying to get attention for no reason.

22:09.13

mikebledsoe

Well that there's this is what is 1 things that made me notice it is people I would hear people go Oh I'm I'm an empath I'm very sensitive and then I hear them talk about their experience of the world and I go. You're just taking everything personally, you may be sensitive if you're both sensitive. And you take things Personally, you're in a bad spot. That's that's a rough life to live like you're picking up on everything and you're making it all mean something about you. That's Hard. So I I Tell people all the time is like people go people go Well, you don't know you're not really that sensitive I go.

22:38.10

Max Shank

Um, I Totally yeah oh yeah.

22:48.15

mikebledsoe

Oh I'm very sensitive and and ah and that's why I don't take things personally is because like you're not going to see me get triggered because I know that it's not about me like I It's not that I believe it. It's just I know it's not and so ah.

22:54.47

Max Shank

Um, right.

23:07.22

mikebledsoe

The way that people are treating me all this I was like it has nothing to do with me. It has it's it's them and it's if you can be both sensitive and you don't take things personally now that's a superpower. But if you're somebody who's sensitive and then you tend to make everything that you're perceiving about you.

23:19.56

Max Shank

Agreed.

23:26.88

mikebledsoe

You're you're on the opposite end you're fucked. So I think a lot of people. They don't know how to not take things personally so they end up trying to desensitize themselves because it's just too much.

23:39.70

Max Shank

Yeah, Wow. It's so true and I think subconsciously um some people want that they want to take on that role. It's like ah some people like to whip and some people like to be whipped and.

23:53.85

mikebledsoe

Here.

23:57.53

Max Shank

You know if you don't have a physical whip handy. Maybe you can just engage in a little psychological self-torture anytime. So it's it's fascinating and I've never heard that collapsed distinction before.

24:03.47

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah.

24:12.23

mikebledsoe

Okay, okay.

24:14.74

Max Shank

I Think conflate means something almost similar like you either. It's like you confuse and combine words I'm pretty sure that's what it is yeah come.

24:21.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well yeah, um, yeah, maybe I need to I need to look it up.

24:28.44

Max Shank

combine it's combine 2 or more ideas or words into 1 Yeah.

24:30.82

mikebledsoe

Perfect I think that's that's good. Um, the reason I used the words collapse distinction I've not heard I've heard it from a couple people it's not widely used. Um I like it because ah, there's an opposite to collapse distinction which is just.

24:40.26

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

24:49.52

mikebledsoe

Distinction whereas like conflate. It's like well what's what's the opposite of that. There's what what happens after we stop conflating whereas with ah with a collapse distinction I go Well, there's distinction and then there's collapse distinction. So ah.

24:49.52

Max Shank

Um.

24:54.91

Max Shank

Specific right? Distinction. We really should do a whole topic on language 1 of these days because that's 1 of the roots of pretty much every problem a person has right.

25:07.98

mikebledsoe

Anyways.

25:20.26

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

25:23.42

Max Shank

You know, even Ecker tolly would say you know there there are no problems. There are only situations and all of this is just based on how we frame our experience with language and the whole concept of semantic precision which is using language. Where both parties agree on the definition. That's where most miscommunication happens like my my feeling in the world is like I Just want to like yell stop to everybody I Just want to like put my hands up and be like hey whoa. I Think there's been a misunderstanding whoa This got out of hand like I think we're just not understanding each other properly. You know.

26:04.26

mikebledsoe

Um, well.

26:12.25

mikebledsoe

That's ninety Nine point nine percent of the time. Yeah I mean I if you I and and the phrase that drives me nuts to someone someone goes. Oh that's just semantics and I go what.

26:25.68

Max Shank

That's the only tools we have to argue you want a fist fight. That's all we got.

26:28.19

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah people you're like oh that's just semantics I'm like I'm like whoa whoa Whoa If you're somebody who goes that's just semantics and you are likely missing you. You actually don't know what's happening in the world like in you, you not can be able to communicate it.

26:42.45

Max Shank

Well, you don't even know what's happening you don't even know what's happening within your own structure of your own ideas because the whole purpose is to get both parties to agree on what the definitions are so that you can have a distinct. Discourse or a precise discourse where everybody's like yes, this is what conflate means this is what collapse distinction means this is what love means you know like even even in something like marriage right? You know people are so nebulous with ah. What they're looking for in a relationship and then they're like I'm not getting what I want. It's like well did you specifically ask and did the other person agree to that and they're like well no, it's like embarrassing and I'm like oh well, um you you brought this on yourself like yeah, right is.

27:33.53

mikebledsoe

Good luck, Good luck with life. Ah.

27:39.25

Max Shank

It's so brutal I mean that's why like a lot of the first language was um, keeping tally of agreements like the most of the the um ancient texts are like.

27:45.70

mikebledsoe

E.

27:54.60

Max Shank

I don't know I'm going to show my ignorance here I don't exactly know. But I think it's like sumerian or something like that where it's like you know Bob smith that's not the name like but Bob smith owes you know Joe blow 3 cattles and a bushel of. You know acorns or something like that I don't know I'm not super hip with it. But that's basically what the first what the oldest written language we have is.

28:14.42

mikebledsoe

Yeah, right I got I give you my daughter and exchange you get me 2 walks and fifty had a goats and yeah.

28:22.20

Max Shank

Ah, right right? Fifty Silver so shekels or something like that.

28:32.66

mikebledsoe

Ah, all right? Let's let's bring it back to the rhythm when we got off on a language tangent which is great because I actually think we'll we'll likely do that a lot in the future and I already wrote down the put language and all that for the for the next next episode let's get back to rhythm. Um I'll bring it back in.

28:43.35

Max Shank

Yeah, should just make that our next 1 come come nice and prepared. Yeah, so.

28:52.47

mikebledsoe

Little bit of a hard left. But I think it's necessary ah is ah 1 of my buddies he once we once got started talking about cycles. So we if we talk about um I think about seasons and cycles when I think about rhythm and.

28:56.00

Max Shank

It's good time.

29:06.88

Max Shank

Um, threat.

29:12.21

mikebledsoe

Ah, because I think sometimes when I just think about rhythm by itself I think about a song.. There's a there's a beginning and an end and there's ah a cadence but with seasons of course it's circular and ah so it's it's predictable over and over and over again. But. I think we can all see the four seasons and ah so my buddy brought this to my attention. At 1 point he goes. Okay so you have your daily cycle and then you have your like if we look at real cycles in nature outside of ourselves We have the sun. The.

29:43.79

Max Shank

Sun Moon. Yeah.

29:48.71

mikebledsoe

Lunar cycles which is about 13 of them in a year um which basically the gregorian our calendar is totally fucked but um, it's not lined up with nature necessarily. Ah so it's close.

30:03.30

Max Shank

It's pretty close with the solar cycle. What propose a better 1 mike ah I'll meet with you 3 moons from now.

30:07.40

mikebledsoe

They have to make it Well we talk about that later, but ah, um, you could just go off the moon but the the yeah but ah, well, there's the Mayan calendar which is which follows the lunar cycles. So I know someone who runs their business Ho The lunar.

30:21.99

Max Shank

The.

30:26.94

mikebledsoe

Have the Mayan calendar but ah, she's far out there? Yeah yeah, yeah.

30:29.72

Max Shank

It's pretty far out I like it I think you got to respect those cycles I think temp I think tempo um and cycles are are very similar I don't think tempo or Rhythm necessarily means a song i.

30:43.44

mikebledsoe

Right.

30:45.82

Max Shank

Have this time time is illusion but Tempo is real is this sort of thing I have going on in the back of my head because the whole concept of linear time is just based on our singular perception of it and our memory are.

30:48.96

mikebledsoe

A b.

31:02.24

mikebledsoe

Me.

31:04.46

Max Shank

That's that's all it is memory and prediction. That's our only evidence that there is a such thing as time but the tempo of these different things like the sun and the moon and the seasons those are very concrete and they're circular. They're not.

31:21.89

mikebledsoe

Right? Yeah, so we got we got the sun. We got the moon and then you you start expanding out into the universe and there's there's a cycle happening in our our well just in the cosmos in general and then you get down to you know I think it's easier to see in women. They have their.

31:22.55

Max Shank

Ah, linear. What.

31:41.34

Max Shank

And.

31:41.68

mikebledsoe

Monthly cycle. That's happening internally and you know their training and their nutrition is going to shift based on you know if you're an athlete will will shift based on those things and and.

31:52.95

Max Shank

They usually leave them out of studies. A lot of scientific studies. They cut women out of because they have the huge change during a monthly cycle which is fascinating.

31:56.41

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

32:02.43

mikebledsoe

I think men have I think it's a seventy 2 day cycle that is more subtle so it's over a longer period of time and it's not so drasstic. So just not as noticeable.

32:09.67

Max Shank

Are.

32:16.85

Max Shank

That explains why I've been so grumpy this I think I'm on I think I'm on my man period.

32:21.21

mikebledsoe

I've had that happen I go ah, that's right? Ah so I look at these cycles and look at the seasons and and 1 of the things that really ah I really started appreciating my thirty s and I actually think living on the water. And san diego in a house that had a lot of ah, a lot of natural light helped me understand the seasons much better. 1 is being on the water allowed me to see the sun move across the sky I watched the sunset almost every day.

32:45.00

Max Shank

And.

32:57.60

mikebledsoe

And so it moved from from North to south and south to North ah across the west coast ah line and then it also was you know in the in the middle of the Summer. It's nine zero pm or little later setting and in the winter I mean it's four fifty and it's dark outside.

33:10.59

Max Shank

Okay. That was a great house.

33:15.89

mikebledsoe

And great house and I miss it. Ah and it was during that time that I really started honoring the seasons because prior to that I was. When I was living in memphis tennessee and I was running the gym like I was up at the gym at 6 a m no matter what time of year it was and I was under fluorescent lights. There was no I was killing all the natural cycles and and I wasn't done till nine zero p m and I'd get home and and everything was the same.

33:45.22

Max Shank

Are.

33:52.36

mikebledsoe

All the time and I was worn out and I didn't know why and then a few years into living in the San diego in this environment and I noticed that I worked less in the winter a lot less like probably half half the amount of time during the day in the winter I would I noticed that I would. Consume weed at night in the winter and and I would do movement at night and then when it started getting warm in the summer I would do my movement sober in the morning and so like I I now adopt that so in in the winter I start I train in the evenings and.

34:15.80

Max Shank

Um.

34:20.48

Max Shank

Um, her.

34:29.54

mikebledsoe

Summer I trained the mornings so I just witnessed my personal preferences based on I really got sensitive I was practicing sensitivity to the season and I also noticed that and in the summertime there's more parties it.

34:29.63

Max Shank

Interesting.

34:38.57

Max Shank

And.

34:46.69

mikebledsoe

Ah, people are celebrating um I work a lot more I stay up later I get less sleep I get like 7 hours of sleep on average in the summer and the winter I'm getting 8 and a half to nine and I go to less parties and I I read more in the winter. It's the winners all about reflection.

34:53.36

Max Shank

A.

35:05.56

mikebledsoe

About consuming. It's about resting and and more of just being and the spring hits and it's like oh you know I'm starting I'm almost tired of doing little and reflecting I've learned a lot I've reflected on what happened last year I'm ready to kick this year's ass and you spring in the action. And in the summer you're rolling and then the fall you know is the harvest and and by you know it's october now. So now. My experience is ah is I'm going oh man I'm so glad the parties are ending. So glad the sun's going down early because.

35:39.14

Max Shank

Simply.

35:42.79

mikebledsoe

I'm really feeling the desire to read and reflect and and get more sleep right now and so having that sensitivity to the seasons has really allowed me to ah just in all areas of my life. You know we can look at business and then the winner is just as wait.

35:48.58

Max Shank

Ah.

36:02.40

mikebledsoe

I've got a lot more strategy going on. There's less less doing and in the summer it's you know you know? Um, um, there's a lot more execution happening and less strategy. So it's um, it's welcome and it's enjoyable and it keeps me interested in life.

36:12.35

Max Shank

And.

36:19.55

mikebledsoe

Having those seasons.

36:21.69

Max Shank

There's some wisdom there too and I see wisdom as knowing yourself and acting accordingly and it sounds like you are really honoring your natural tendencies rather than fighting your natural tendencies because. Whether it's a macro cycle like ah the periods in your life where we're going to be at different places right? I mean I'm um, I'm in a pretty different place now at 34 than I was at 21 right? I'm in a different kind of position and different situation.

36:52.10

mikebledsoe

A.

36:58.52

Max Shank

And even throughout the day. Everybody's going to have a different rhythm to when they're feeling more energized when they're um, more likely to do a certain type of work I mean I've fought it for a long time because I. Want to be on a Circadian rhythm but actually I do my most interesting creative work at night when it's quiet and you know I would I love ah the idea of going to bed at 8 o'clock and waking up at four o'clock and when I do that.

37:21.69

mikebledsoe

E.

37:32.90

mikebledsoe

They have.

37:36.64

Max Shank

Get even less done. It's it's just way worse. So ah, you know I'm good I always turn the screens off at 8 o'clock but I don't necessarily go to bed around that time and that makes a huge difference. So anyway back to what I said about.

37:45.42

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think I mean for me the way I The the way hit me for that is I I just I turn my screens off when the sun goes down so it's like instead of it instead of it being at a specific time I go Oh it's getting.

37:59.56

Max Shank

That's even better. Yeah.

38:05.21

mikebledsoe

Dark I try to live in homes where it's natural light during the day and I'm not using any artificial light. So when the sun goes down it becomes obvious.

38:07.92

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

38:13.30

Max Shank

Well and it's that built in rest from those things right? I mean what is it even god rested once a week even god rested on Sundays or something like that and to use ah a fitness analogy. Um, you can't you can't sprint.

38:21.37

mikebledsoe

A.

38:32.91

Max Shank

All out all the time. All you're going to do is make the result worse and start running a lot slower. So if you ride the waves you're going to get a lot more out of it and you're going to expend way less energy doing it. You know if like. I'll use jumping as an example, if I had you jump a Hundred times by the hundredth jump if you did it all in a row. It would be horrible looking jumping a Hundred times really high. But if I had jump 3 times every minute. Like you could probably do thirty minutes of jumping and be a little better and even 1 step ahead of that if I had to do 3 jumps every minute for ten minutes three times a day then it's going to be even better than that. So this whole idea of trying to grind through. Rather than draw some boundaries and set yourself up so you can ride that momentum I mean look the reality is like you don't even have to do that many things to be wildly. Successful. But you can do it the the hard way or you can do it the easy way. And if you respect those rhythms and respect your nature It's so much easier, but that does require that ability to see the big picture which is the visionary mode and then also get into the the craftsmanship mode.

40:03.87

mikebledsoe

Yeah, there's a word you use that I find to be very important that is boundaries and most people have very poor boundaries. You're good. You're good. You're good at the boundaries I'm a lot better.

40:09.52

Max Shank

I Am That's my best skill I got the fastest know in the west I'm good. Yeah some people call that unfriendly.

40:22.52

mikebledsoe

Ah, max du an asshole. Ah yeah I've had people in my life. You know they'll they'll be like if he doesn't want to do it. He's not going to do it or if I do want to do something I'm going to do it.

40:26.50

Max Shank

I Just I just love myself. That's all.

40:36.70

Max Shank

Right.

40:40.77

mikebledsoe

It's It's more about like negotiate like if I'm know whoever I'm dating so turns into a negotiation about how it's going to happen versus if it's going to happen or whatever it is or not going to happen. Yeah, so.

40:49.80

Max Shank

If you can't say no, it's not negotiation. Can't walk away. It's no negotiation at all.

40:58.85

mikebledsoe

Yeah, but I think the boundaries conversation. You know I see there's internal boundaries and external boundaries and people are constantly crossing their internal boundaries. There. You know they go Oh I'm going to turn off my screens when the sun goes down or or whatever it is and then they don't do it or I'm going to stop. You know, binge watching television and cracking a beer when I get off work and they just cross that boundary and over and over again. They end up hating themselves for it usually projecting that anger on to you know their job or a relationship or yeah to kick the dog or whatever it is and.

41:20.73

Max Shank

The.

41:30.99

Max Shank

Take the dog right.

41:37.84

mikebledsoe

So There's like the the setting and the maintaining of boundaries is really really Important. Ah for for growth and the way I look at it is if we study archetypes if we look at like masculine archetypes the King sets the boundaries. The King has a kingdom. And says these are the edges of my kingdom. This is what I will and will not do and this is these are the rules that we live by in my kingdom but the warrior their job is to maintain those boundaries and so what I see a lot of a lot of men who end up in this like really flowy place is they have no boundaries.

41:59.26

Max Shank

The.

42:06.10

Max Shank

Is.

42:15.17

Max Shank

Oh.

42:16.66

mikebledsoe

Because they're there even if they want to have boundaries their warrior is so weak that they they just fold to their internal boundaries all the time and so there's a lot of guys running around acting tough who have zero warrior energy being directed at.

42:23.67

Max Shank

And.

42:36.24

mikebledsoe

Ah, maintaining boundaries and so ah and if you can't maintain your internal boundaries. You're not going to maintain healthy external boundaries and a lot of people on the external boundary side people. They don't um.

42:36.94

Max Shank

Ah.

42:55.35

mikebledsoe

First off, most people don't communicate their boundaries as boundaries. They may communicate it but they don't use the word boundaries I find that if I use the word boundary with somebody it catches their attention they go. Oh he's being serious because it's just not a common word and ah so external boundaries usually aren't communicated.

42:57.31

Max Shank

Um, right right? Yeah, ah.

43:15.70

mikebledsoe

And again someone else crosses our external boundary. What happens if you cross my external boundary and I didn't communicate it to you I usually get angry. You know people get angry. They're like but the fuck and you're going what happened I don't know um and so ah.

43:24.91

Max Shank

Lash out and right off.

43:33.37

mikebledsoe

Learning to communicate boundaries effectively All the time will create a lot of respect from other people and it keeps things really really clean and if something if something does need to shift in a relationship and you've been communicating the boundary as being broken over and over and over again.

43:41.73

Max Shank

Oh.

43:52.36

mikebledsoe

And it's an easier thing to to satisfy to to move away from it's like oh we have Ah, we've documented that this boundary's been crossed a dozen times like you're not honoring my boundariary. So yeah, we're gonna We're gonna shift this relationship.

43:58.12

Max Shank

Right.

44:06.80

Max Shank

Well and you draw your own line of what you're going to tolerate or not and it's It's fine to compromise as long as you know what? you're getting for what you're giving. Um I think I think fasting is really good for drawing those boundaries.

44:16.22

mikebledsoe

Now. Yeah.

44:24.55

Max Shank

I mean I don't want to label myself. Um, but I usually don't have 1 of something I have like zero of something or I have lots of that something and I think fasting is really good for drawing.

44:37.27

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

44:44.12

Max Shank

That critical boundary of your intake and I made a little video about it and I talked about how the main benefit of fasting to me is going from um, compulsive to conscious behavior and that's.

44:59.49

mikebledsoe

E.

45:03.69

Max Shank

Really at the core of what we're talking about and when I was on this other show I got asked like what's the way to get rich and I said deferred gratification and they said anything else I'm like not really like if you're able to defer gratification until later and you provide something. Valuable. It'll it'll eventually work out if you can see the big picture and stay focused then the other stuff will sort of happen organically I think and look you can go. We can go into way more detail as far as how to get rich and stay rich which would maybe be another. Good topic for a show because we have similar but different similar similar and different strategies on that. Um.

45:41.79

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, like that 1

45:48.37

mikebledsoe

Well I've ah ah we we come from. We have different personalities when it comes to our approaches to business and wealth building but we also have agreement on a lot of Concepts so it'd be. It'd be interesting.

45:56.90

Max Shank

Totally right. Right? Yeah, it flows so easy.

46:07.20

mikebledsoe

I Mean that's why we have these conversations because we we've come to. We've come to similar conclusions from different points of view all right. We'll do the get rich stay rich.

46:18.58

Max Shank

That's that's what we like about other people too. We like that they're different but similar right? Um I think for tying this rhythm thing back into business I think the value of.

46:21.24

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

46:35.58

Max Shank

Putting together a campaign is quite valuable and having it be. You know I'm not just like doing x y and z all day every day there's the visionary comes up with this plan and then we have this. Execution that lies on a bit of ah, a tempo or a cycle. So like let's say you and I were going to start a new business and we didn't set any boundaries for when we're going to, um, you know do the brain. Swarming I call it I don't I don't call it brainstorming I call it brain swarming like it's everything all these different things kind of coming together and moving as a unified unit. But if we don't have like a stop for that phase. And think it's easy to imagine that you and I would just stay in Dreamland brainswarming forever and be like oh and what if we did this and what if we did that and if you have this sort of tempo. For that campaign where it's like first we're going to do this and then we're going to build and then we're going to delegate and then we're going to build and then this is going to be our follow up tempo and touch points and that's the same thing with coaching is how often am I going to touch base. How often am I going to reach out to you. What's our.

47:57.70

mikebledsoe

Oh.

48:01.79

Max Shank

But's our tempo for it and for me weekly is really good. For example in my experience. That's the best of course if you have someone who can check in with you every single day. That's probably going to give you an even better result. Something like coaching hey you know how to go Yesterday. What's the plan today boom boom boom and you kind of work through it and clearly that there's a benefit to that. Otherwise no 1 would need a coach but the reality is ah.

48:27.78

mikebledsoe

E.

48:39.25

Max Shank

Ah, Coach often gets you to do something. You know you should.

48:40.62

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, I also see the the necessity for creating our own you know and I think about this I think about creating your own structure because that creating that rhythm that tempo is a structure. Um and is.

48:50.59

Max Shank

So.

48:57.64

mikebledsoe

I Think there's also why coaching is is becoming really important right now is because more and more as as the world decentralizes people are becoming more and more responsible for their own schedule and you know we saw this with Covid people started working from home and there was.

49:09.16

Max Shank

Um, now that's tough.

49:17.50

mikebledsoe

Ah, go oh wow people. Ah first I was like people probably won't work that much and then I start hearing reports that people are working way more because there's no boundary set up for them like oh you show up to work at this time and then you leave work and so they were just like working all the time at home like whoa and so um.

49:22.17

Max Shank

M.

49:31.56

Max Shank

Well.

49:37.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, there's a lot of factors there. But as the Covid just sped things up. They were already there which is the world is decentralizing more people are going to work from home. There's gonna be more freelancers less employees and like more contractors and if you're a freelancer.

49:38.78

Max Shank

What and the.

49:49.90

Max Shank

The and.

49:55.76

mikebledsoe

1 of the beauties of being a freelancer is you have control of your own schedule and that is a new thing for people.

50:07.14

Max Shank

I've always wanted that that was like the really since I was a young kid that was the only thing I wanted is the freedom to live on my own schedule. You know I felt like something was taken away from me as soon as I had to start going to school I'm like this is awful I don't want to do this I Want to go out and play with the stick.

50:13.64

mikebledsoe

A.

50:24.80

Max Shank

But and I think kind of to borrow your term again. Um, collapsed distinction with the work and home life I think that's 1 of the um.

50:41.47

Max Shank

Challenges or opportunities for entrepreneurs I've certainly noticed that myself I mean the reality is I I did work tons and tons of hours getting to where I'm at now and that number has significantly decreased as I've gained more skill and drawn better boundaries. But if you. Are suddenly thrown into this scenario where the place you work is the same place that you eat and the same place that you also have a computer where you can see anything anytime you will get that collapsed distinction. Where now everything is just always happening right here at the console I'm working and then I'm in the kitchen eating cookies and then there are boobies on the screen and you're just kind of like this everything everything all at once where you don't have that clear.

51:37.83

mikebledsoe

Yeah work.

51:38.78

Max Shank

Distinction of when it's work time and when it's relaxed time and I think that is a very just as valuable. Maybe as being able to consciously rather than compulsively project your thinking into the future project your thinking into the past.

51:45.73

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

51:58.38

Max Shank

And also bring yourself directly into the here and now and just go for a walk and let your ah conscious mind be alleviated of all of these you know, urgencies and emergencies and problems and all of these labels. We attach to.

52:16.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah now. Yeah.

52:18.18

Max Shank

Things trying to ask you for your time but you still have the power to draw that boundary and say no. But if you don't if you don't It's game over like people will infringe on your boundaries and they will respond to. However, you train them to respond.

52:35.50

mikebledsoe

E.

52:37.58

Max Shank

Basically um, which is kind of weird I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all. But you know if someone complains to you and then you respond to them favorably favorably. You're in inviting them to do that more if someone says hey can you can you stay. You know 3 hours late or come in and work on Sunday and you just always say yes, well, they're just going to always ask you to come work on sunday.

53:01.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah I like the thing about it as you're a character in a movie and or if you've ever studied you know fiction. You know you basically create a character and then the character. Based on their characters how they respond throughout the story or the movies like oh that was it would be weird that'd be at a character of this character if james bond you know, walked away from you know a hot woman. It would be it would be at a character like no james bond like.

53:21.61

Max Shank

Ah.

53:31.11

Max Shank

That would be out of character right.

53:36.70

mikebledsoe

He orders a martini. He chats her up at the bar. Ah, and so we are all characters in a movie and we have this script playing all the time and.

53:45.72

Max Shank

God am I the villain or the hero I'm not even sure if I become a villain I would be a hell of a good Ark though.

53:54.64

mikebledsoe

And and ah, what ends up happening is people are casting us as characters in their movie and ah if you start making 1 of these changes. For instance, you go you know what? I'm going to shift my character I'm going to develop my character. By creating boundaries that I communicate now it can be jarring for other people because now they have this expectation of the character in which they perceive you to be and now you you aren't that and people tend to dislike change. So Now you're throwing a wrench.

54:20.61

Max Shank

Um, then again.

54:34.33

mikebledsoe

And their their consciousness and they go but but but and a lot of times it comes out as Anger or disappointment or whatever it is and so for me I I really make sure that my first impression with people is you know it's an anchor experience. They're now this. Moment in time. How they how they're interacting with me now is how they're gonna end up treating me in the future because changing that over time can be difficult so I'm very good at holding the boundaries from from the very beginning. They know my boundaries. They're not gonna think anything of it. They're not gonna be mad about it. The people are gonna get mad at.

55:06.60

Max Shank

Like.

55:13.78

mikebledsoe

My new boundaries are the people who I've already got very established relationships with and now I'm creating something new.

55:16.49

Max Shank

Well, it's like momentum. Well it's physics right? If you have momentum in a certain way and people expect that certain thing if you change there's going to be a new acceleration or a Jolt and a jerk and that's going to be really uncomfortable.

55:30.96

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, so yeah, and summary for that is it I think a lot of people are going to get out of this is to be more conscious of their internal boundaries external boundaries notice.

55:34.84

Max Shank

No.

55:49.60

mikebledsoe

The rhythms that that exist in the world and with themselves and being able to honor that and making those changes to honor your own rhythms and the rhythms of the universe are going to make your life a lot better but in the short term making those changes and and experiencing that. Change in acceleration can be a little jarring and just realizing that hey this short term difficulty and making these ah changes for me and and others will be worth it. Long term because once you get them set and you're rolling life. Gets a lot better.

56:28.43

Max Shank

I Think it's also yeah I would agree with what you said completely I would also suggest people start timestamping their start and stop times when they're working on stuff and notice for themselves when they're doing their best work.

56:38.56

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

56:44.20

mikebledsoe

E.

56:46.55

Max Shank

And when things start to deteriorate and you know the whole point of what we're doing really is to liberate people from the false realities that have been programmed into them from a huge variety of sources and it's natural to want to get. Ah, greater effect for less effort. There's nothing more natural than that we want. We want to be as efficient as we possibly can. So if you do respect those boundaries if you do draw those boundaries if you do um draw a clearer.

57:13.90

mikebledsoe

Me here.

57:22.77

Max Shank

Distinction rather than a collapse distinction between work rest and play. You're going to get a way way better result with way less effort I mean who would not want to spend less time working but get better results like what? what seems more obvious than that.

57:41.56

mikebledsoe

Yep.

57:42.70

Max Shank

But if you don't draw those boundaries. It's basically impossible and you know you can't worry I mean this is easier said than done right? because we're the most social emotional creatures ever. You can't worry what it's going to do for someone else like breaking your own boundaries to make someone else feel better. Is not doing them a favor. It's just willingly participating in your own energy vampireism essentially and I really like the the lore around vampires because it perfectly describes energy vampires too. So with.

58:16.42

mikebledsoe

Oh.

58:20.20

Max Shank

Real vampire I was going to say real vam I mean maybe there are who knows with real vampires or the story. They can't come in your house and let see you invite them in with energy vampires. It's exactly the same thing you don't have to let anyone suck any of your energy. Unless you deliberately and directly invite them in so it's very important to just realize how much power is in the word. No.

58:47.28

mikebledsoe

Someone say it's the most powerful word there is.

58:52.71

Max Shank

Um I would agree maybe maybe yes Also but yes and yes implies that no is an option.

58:59.29

mikebledsoe

Yeah, can't have a yes without a no as a possibility I Want to mention in summary I Do want to mention 2 tools that I use that that you made me think of ah is I use a tool called Marduck which is ah. Have my entire business put in there. It's it's ah it's ah the most advanced task management system ever seen I'm go. Ah I'm a Beta user for it. My buddy designed it. We're gonna be rolling that out to my clients. But also if anyone wants to use this. Ah. This software that basically you put your entire business in it and then it tracks how long you're doing certain tasks and helps you focus I would say I've been using it for five months my productivity if I to guess 3 X I work less and get way more done. Um, and I enjoy my work so he he's figured out a way to gamify ah work. So you program it around your business and then it gamifies it and there's rewards and all sorts of stuff. Um, but what I do is with the marduck system when I start a task I hit play and it starts tracking my time. When I hit stop and when when I hit play it closes down all the other things that I need to do that Day. So I'm not getting distracted when I hit stop I Then it prompts me to put in what I did like like a little summary of what I completed and then the difficulty of. On on a number scale of how difficult that task was for me to complete and ah that helps me, um, check you know I'm consciously choosing to do a task and then I I complete it and then I do a check In. Um.

01:00:28.66

Max Shank

Um, um, how can.

01:00:44.59

mikebledsoe

And then so I use that tool in combination with another tool called Brain Dot fm.

01:00:46.44

Max Shank

We should. We should get Marduk to sponsor this episode that was amazing.

01:00:50.94

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, thanks. Ah yeah, I'm gonna be slinging some marduck well like I said up. Um I'm giving it to all my clients starting at 2022 ah but anyone even if you're not a client if you want to get access to it. You just dm me on the instagrams.

01:01:00.98

Max Shank

Cool.

01:01:10.66

mikebledsoe

And ah, brain fm is the other 1 which is a binaural audio program that basically helps your brain it basically tunes your your brain to the frequency of focus while you're getting stuff done and what I like about brain fm is. There's 30 sixty and ninety minute. Ah. Ah, amount of time you can put on there and so the music just plays helping you focus? Um, and then after thirty sixty or ninety minutes however you program it it stops and that's what I know to take a break and so I noticed that I can do two ninety minute sprints if if I'm working before noon.

01:01:40.48

Max Shank

Smart.

01:01:47.22

Max Shank

Who.

01:01:49.70

mikebledsoe

So I'll do ah a ninety minute sprint and then I'll go make myself some breakfast take a thirty minute break go for a walk come back. Do another ninety minute sprint in the afternoons I like to do sixty minute I can do 1 or 2 sixty minute sprints and then I'm done I'm done for the day and so ah, that's that's been a really great. Those are great tools that have. Help me raise my awareness around what I'm doing how I'm doing it creating boundaries. ah so I'm ah I'm a big fan of I like to say I have very little willpower but I'm hyper ah hyperactive as 1 yeah, but I'm um.

01:02:20.15

Max Shank

Active.

01:02:25.90

mikebledsoe

Hyper vigilant around setting up structures and systems to kind of basically I bump into things I go Oh yeah, I'm so it's a stop right now. Otherwise I just keep going. Oh yeah, thank you, Thank you.

01:02:37.74

Max Shank

That's wisdom. That's knowing yourself and acting accordingly. That's really smart. That's very wise. Yeah, you bet.

01:02:45.68

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, anything else you want to mention in summary for the show.

01:02:49.00

Max Shank

No love you. Love you guys. Thanks for listening draw good boundaries and don't fight the flow ride the wave.

01:02:59.60

mikebledsoe

Dope you can find max at ma shk dot com and everything ma shk and then find me at ah mike underscore Bloodso on Instagram and the strongcoach dot com on the interwebs. Thanks y ' all.

01:03:04.90

Max Shank

That's it.

Oct 26, 2021

00:02.80

mikebledsoe

Fear and goals this comes up a lot lot of people are I talk to people all the time and who are interested in developing themselves and 1 the common things that come up is. Yeah, ask them. You know what's holding you back from you reaching your goals right now and they'll be they'll just say fear or go. Oh well, what are you afraid of and ah and then they go oh I haven't thought that far. Ah. And so we start naming them off. So ah I'm excited to talk about today's topic which max suggested which is fear and goals identifying fierce sateers of goals. So ah, oh oh.

00:53.44

Max Shank

Spoiler alert there's only 1 fear.

00:58.74

mikebledsoe

We're not going to tell you what it is until the very end though so you got to stick around.

01:00.38

Max Shank

Ah, it's not much of a spoiler alert thing. Is it.

01:06.12

mikebledsoe

Ah, the no no, it's not.

01:10.75

Max Shank

It'll make sense too. Once I say it people you'd be like oh yeah, of course, there's only 1 thing that we're really afraid of.

01:15.70

mikebledsoe

Ah, so what we were talking just before we hopped on about people feeling safe and how most people in order to feel safe try to make enough money and if I make enough money then I'll feel safe. You know then I'll be able to live a good life and then ah people make the money and then you know now they they realize that they're responsible for their own health or their own physical protection and so they start investing in that next. Ah, but ah, the way I think about it is you know you can always just decide to feel safe and then because there's always gonna be something to do next in order to feel safer.

02:10.92

Max Shank

It's kind of the it's there's a parallel between how evolution first ah like prioritized armor in fish like bony. Armored fish and then they just got faster and faster so speed was king and since we have this pretty far out ability if you pardon the pun to see pretty far out into the future. The. Fastest speed ever is preemptive. So once you settle or um, swaddle maybe like 1 fear you like make yourself feel safe. Then you just think forward on to the next 1 and usually the people who make the biggest waves in their lives are the ones who are never satisfied with where they're at they're thinking on to the next thing and on to the next thing and on to the next thing and I mean I was definitely that way. It was always. Onto the next thing and once you get ah 1 thing ah locked in because that's what people really want because we can think forward. We think like okay if I have this much money for retirement then I'm like locked in to safety if I get married then I'm locked in. To a romantic relationship and you know you have all of these ideas. So um, security can span usually does span. Well beyond security in the present moment which is really just a reflexive reaction to danger rather than fear which is a preemptive prediction of what could happen in the future.

04:09.93

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, because it's not true until it happens so fear fear is and is born out of imagination.

04:15.88

Max Shank

Right.

04:21.58

Max Shank

Right? And it's effective to preempt um situations like so a squirrel saving nuts for the winter is making a prediction of how many extra nuts to save up. In order to go through the season where there aren't going to be any growing on the trees. So. It's effective and that's like ah I heard this term the other day about attention Deficit which is a warrior.

04:42.43

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the.

04:56.47

Max Shank

In a farmer's world or maybe a hunter in a farmer's world and I thought that was I thought that was 1 of the best ways I've ever heard it described it just says so much you know a lot of folks who would be amazing hunters like as soon as they see the tracks.

05:03.69

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that makes sense.

05:14.99

Max Shank

They're on it and they won't let go of that track and they'll just grind through and push and keep walking and keep going and hunt that thing down Maybe don't have the patience to hoe a field and like plant a bunch of seeds and you know plan that whole thing ahead.

05:26.63

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

05:32.49

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah, not projecting as far out into the future I was listening to a guy guy named Matt john vervacki he did a a youtube series of sixty 1 hour lectures and I forget.

05:33.78

Max Shank

Right.

05:51.27

mikebledsoe

Something about the meaning crisis is the name of the lectures and he talks about just the word project comes from projectile. Yeah, like the the hunters when they got they evolved far enough to start being able to go.

05:52.89

Max Shank

A. Project.

06:11.27

mikebledsoe

This target is moving in this direction at this speed and I must predict where it'll be as I let go of my spear and project it into the future because once you let it go. You know it's gonna land in the future and I was really.

06:21.30

Max Shank

Who.

06:27.88

Max Shank

Love it.

06:30.79

mikebledsoe

Really really fascinating as he said was saying that I go and the word project is used in business to with a series of targets in which you're going to hit to accomplish a specific goal at the end and I go man. This is so brilliant So he's so spot on. So.

06:42.60

Max Shank

Ah.

06:50.32

mikebledsoe

Yeah, hearing you talk about? ah yeah, projecting in the future made me think of that.

06:57.21

Max Shank

That's 1 of the most challenging things for people today I think is to be an active participant in selecting their time period that they're going to be in so you have ah the crystal ball which is projecting forward. You have the.

07:07.55

mikebledsoe

Um.

07:14.84

Max Shank

Book on the wall which is looking backward and then you have Baba ramdas be here now and then the future and the past just dissolve into this moment and if you're able to, um. Consciously instead of compulsively choose where you are then you're essentially some sort of superhuman. You know if you're constantly in the future. You're probably going to be in a very anxious individual. And you're not going to experience a lot of peace but you may.

07:50.10

mikebledsoe

Or or you could be just ah, a lazy daydreamer if you if it's a positive if if you're thinking about things positive in the future all time. But you're not taking the action in order to make it happen right now. That's not gonna you know.

07:54.81

Max Shank

Yeah, that's true.

08:05.43

Max Shank

Right? I I think dwelling. Yeah well, it's ah anxiety is like a fixation or you're stuck in the future depression is usually you're stuck in the past

08:07.65

mikebledsoe

That happened I seen that happen a lot too. But most people get anxiety.

08:22.22

mikebledsoe

Okay, in.

08:24.78

Max Shank

And everything's a gradient right? Everything is absolutely relative to your experience which is a funny term that I like absolutely relative but I like the I like the I never thought of ah project and projectile which is funny because it reminds me of.

08:39.26

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

08:43.46

Max Shank

1 of my favorite scenes in any movie ever which is in 2001 a space odyssey where the Monkey man learns that when he's holding the bone in his hand and when it falls it creates like a bigger impact in the pile of bones.

08:47.94

mikebledsoe

Where.

09:03.20

Max Shank

And it's this dawning realization that there's an extension of his ah will let's say through the bone that increases the level of Impact. So What's funny is um. Like chimpanzees ah fight a lot. A lot is also relative. But what's interesting is when they're doing ah a display of a oh yeah.

09:29.66

mikebledsoe

They have full on wars between the tribes. Not not just 2 champions chimpanzees fighting. There's like a tribe over here in a tribe over there and they go to war and they'll eat each other or bit bit cannibalistic as well.

09:37.83

Max Shank

Ah, it's gnarly. Ah, oh yeah, yeah, cannibalism is not reserved for humans Apparently a lot of animals do that and not just the female.

09:49.49

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

09:56.87

Max Shank

Eating the male after mating which is crazy common too. Anyway, my point if I.

10:04.16

mikebledsoe

Thank God I'm human that's not and that's not I might have to be afraid of my girlfriend eating me.

10:08.91

Max Shank

No, no, no, they don't they don't like literally eat you. They just ah and I I'll save that for I won't offend our last 3 female listeners.

10:16.58

mikebledsoe

Ah, you.

10:23.52

Max Shank

Ah, ah so anyway, the chimps they during displays of dominance will pick up huge tree branches and swing them around like they can hold it in their hand. They'll swing and they'll It'll be like Holy Lord that.

10:34.81

mikebledsoe

So a.

10:42.88

Max Shank

Monkey that chimp just swung a fucking like 4 by 4 sized cylindrical log through the air with insane speed but they never hit each other with a stick that. Amount that amount of extension. Ah cerebrally doesn't exist for them. So even to go from hand to stick to projectile is a huge ah extension of your will.

11:20.67

mikebledsoe

Yeah, someone call that expansion of consciousness. So yeah man I'm not the guy who wrote power versus force remember him what's his name man he had a quote which is ah.

11:20.94

Max Shank

Into the future.

11:28.70

Max Shank

It's a good word for it. Yeah.

11:33.21

Max Shank

No.

11:39.94

mikebledsoe

Ah, there is no passage of time. There's only an expansion of consciousness and something to it's so it's a good. It's a good meditative quote to consider I've found. Ah so I'm curious since we're gonna be talking about.

11:43.40

Max Shank

So.

11:50.81

Max Shank

Right.

11:58.83

mikebledsoe

Talk about fears and goals and you and I are both 1 of the reasons we do. This show is because you and I have both accomplished a lot of goals. You know, a lot of people set out to do things and they don't do them I know that you and I have both set out to accomplish goals failed out them. We've also succeeded at them and then realized we didn't want the thing that we thought we wanted but it was good that we accomplished the goal so we could learn that we didn't care about that. Ah, and so we've gotten very good at reaching goals which means that we've also. Been able to overcome a lot of fears in the process. So I'm curious for you. You know I'd love to know what your biggest fear was as you were developing as a young man and you were trying to achieve goals. What was the thing that.

12:50.39

Max Shank

Oh.

12:55.65

mikebledsoe

I know what mine is I'm wondering if you you know, but that there was like 1 primary fear that that held you back maybe in business or in athletics or something like that.

13:04.80

Max Shank

I mean I actually just wrote them all down the other day um, trying to trace him back as far as I can't for me, it was ah the fear that I I wouldn't be like physically safe. Um.

13:09.32

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

13:19.60

mikebledsoe

Um.

13:23.19

Max Shank

The other thing was ah, not not being good enough I think these are really common fears but they'll relate back to the same ah single point of fear which is ah the death of the ego. The reason people fear their physical death is because they fear the the death of the Ego. So when people are afraid of Judgment. They're afraid of what that means for their story for their ego when they're so everything relates back to.

13:53.14

mikebledsoe

So that.

13:59.60

Max Shank

Can you move past the fear that the story of you will be harmed in some way so 1 of the things I've noticed is that.

14:10.22

mikebledsoe

What do? what do we want to do we want to find ego sounds like you've given it somewhat of a definition and I know that when people hear ego. There's cool I like that I.

14:19.26

Max Shank

Let's just call it. The story. The story of you Yeah, your identity your identity your self image story of you So when you're thinking about like how do I protect myself physically. Yes, That's a natural instinct and it's also because the thought of not existing is like really scary to the ego I mean the reason people want to be good. Parents is they want to be thought of as good parents and they want to set up their loved ones. But it all it all relates back. To the fear of the identity being tarnished and that leads back to ancient cultures where it was thought of as way worse to be exiled than it was to be killed and you can even look at ah. Less ancient cultures where you know they have hara kiri where if you you know, shame your family or shame yourself you you disembowel yourself with a samurai sword and your buddy will chop off your head as an act of Mercy. After that just to make sure the job gets done and that's a way that you don't bring shame to your entire lineage so that multigenerational or intergenerational ego or identity is preserved even though the life. Of the physical body of that individual. Um, you know was caught in momentary shame and that's how you sort of save Face. So. It's really interesting to see what lengths human beings will go to to preserve. Story They'll kill themselves. They'll kill other people. Um, yeah, you know how dare those other guys believe in a different deity than us We have to kill them.

16:15.63

mikebledsoe

They'll kill for it. Yeah.

16:31.83

Max Shank

What.

16:31.85

mikebledsoe

Ah, you said 1 thing which was you had a fear of not good enough I've always thought about that fear I come across that a lot in coaching and you know it's a good blanket because it that is the phrase. That runs through someone's mind I'm like oh I'm not good enough to curious what you didn't feel like you would like what are the things you were afraid you were not going to be good enough at you weren't going to be good enough to do what.

16:58.59

Max Shank

Well initially I just struggled really hard with school I mean I almost got held back in several grades I failed Classes. You know I'd be there sitting in the desk just fucking suffering. Thinking back to the old days where I could just run around outside and play with a stick then you know ah not being able to pay attention and so I would get really bad grades and really Behind. On everything so I was just always behind um with regard to what I thought was everybody else learning all these things that you know I was made to believe were were really important. Of course that's not. Not really the case like memorizing factoids and obeying Authority turns out is not actually that useful for overall overall life Success. So.

18:03.85

mikebledsoe

That's not learning. Yeah well 1 of the things I I tell people early and in my courses is learning has been Misrepresented. You were. You weren't actually taught how to learn you were taught how to I don't I leave the obey part out because I don't want to trigger people too bad, but ah, not early on but why I like that it's it's a gradual trigger system. You know I start with like 1 that they can palate and then.

18:28.49

Max Shank

You don't want to trigger people too bad. That's funny.

18:40.50

mikebledsoe

Make it palatable. Yeah.

18:40.53

Max Shank

It's like Scientology. It's like scientology at first it's like you just got to get your thinking clear and then level 10 is like the evil alien overlord is making you sad and you're like whoa. If you had talked about this on day 1 I might not have stuck around.

18:56.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, Ah, but you know ah in in our education system people are taught that being able to memorize and regurgitate is learning and so they. People become adults and they listen to podcasts and they make notes and they think they're learning but you don't you didn't learn anything until you've actually gotten the benefit of the learning which is you've changed a behavior. So I I like to define learning as Behavior change.

19:29.51

Max Shank

And.

19:34.38

mikebledsoe

I Don't want to hear from any of my students that you learn something until you've done it because until then it's still just an idea in just because it came from me doesn't mean it's right, You got to test it out for yourself.

19:43.99

Max Shank

Oh man I couldn't agree with that more because not only that if you don't apply something even if you did learn it and use it once. It's not going to stay I mean that's 1 of the it's probably an advantage. Um, emotionally that we don't remember every single thing that happened to us all the time if you take in some information and use it 1 time.. It's probably not going to really permeate into your identity or into your life. It's only the stuff that you use with some regularity that stays in the in the tool belt which is what you have access to all the time.

20:28.47

mikebledsoe

You know all right? So you you fell you weren't gonna be good enough. You didn't do well in school.

20:35.44

Max Shank

Yeah, so I mean the main thing really was just I didn't feel ah safe financially and you know we got foreclosed on evicted a couple times and bumped around like that. Oh yeah, i'm.

20:48.57

mikebledsoe

When you were a kid. Oh wow.

20:54.00

Max Shank

I mean I've had a job straight through since I was twelve I start ah contributing to the the family unit which I actually see as a pretty big advantage in a lot of ways. Um because you just get more experience.

21:05.43

mikebledsoe

I.

21:13.40

Max Shank

With the concept of value generation which I think is the absolute most important thing. So It's um, hunger pain and desire are all synonyms. And I think that's 1 of the most important things to understand if you're looking to pursue some goals or overcome some fears fear is like ah a psychological pain almost.. It's a fear of a feeling more than anything else or you're just pre-empting some sort of.

21:43.19

mikebledsoe

No.

21:49.40

Max Shank

Loss. Um, and ah, it's a feeling right.

21:49.94

mikebledsoe

Yeah, most of the time when we're avoiding a situation. We're avoiding a conversation. We're avoiding it having a feeling. It's not the situation. It's how it's gonna make us feel and 1 of the things that's created the most freedom for me is. Taking on the you know made it made I've made it a goal to accept love and eventually become comfortable with all feelings that come Up. You know so that the the feelings I used to avoid because I I didn't like them.

22:19.31

Max Shank

Oh.

22:27.50

mikebledsoe

I Can I can now love sadness. You know where whereas I couldn't love it for I dwelled in guilt where now I just get to be with what I felt guilty about and then move on whereas yeah there was just.

22:33.18

Max Shank

Oh.

22:43.77

mikebledsoe

Were things I would indulge in and things that I would avoid and it all came from fear and getting to know that that which I'm afraid of Intimately has created a lot of freedom for me. Um I call it emotional freedom but you know that radiates into.

22:45.31

Max Shank

Oh.

22:57.61

Max Shank

Oh.

23:02.36

mikebledsoe

All my behaviors. My psychological freedom my physical freedom all of that I found that if you if you manage the emotional fear and you become friends with it then it loses its power.

23:05.35

Max Shank

M.

23:17.72

Max Shank

I would have to agree I mean and as you well know a lot of our fears and pains are psychological but they manifest physically so you may have I mean that's why.

23:31.41

mikebledsoe

Me.

23:36.27

Max Shank

Low back pain is 1 of the I think it is still the most common pain even in sedentary workers. So workers comp. It's ah it's full of people with low back pain who don't lift anything and it's not.. It's not just because they're. Weak is because they're sad and that's the that's a funny revelation. Especially if as I did I started approach I started my approach to physical freedom with get as strong and fast as possible.

23:55.38

mikebledsoe

Um, you know.

24:12.56

Max Shank

Circled back to oh wait, everybody hurts all the time. So then I became like a ah body mechanic and was like oh well your knee hurts because your hamstrings are weak and your quads are tight now tell me I'm smart or something like that. Ah. And it gets like more and more complex into the nervous system and motor unit recruitment and all this stuff and if you don't respect the reality that psychological pains can manifest as physical pains. Your. Gonna have a really hard time treating that whole self right.

24:51.46

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah I watch people when I when I started getting hip to the emotional um emotional energy and whether it's being whether it's flowing or suppressing. Ah once I got hip to. Oh.

25:05.89

Max Shank

A.

25:11.11

mikebledsoe

Ah, like I had some emotional energy moved from my my pelvic region and like I really felt it move like it was a brick that moved out of my body all of a sudden I had flexibility in my hamstrings that flexibility in my hips. My back stopped stopped hurting ah and.

25:20.50

Max Shank

A.

25:29.81

mikebledsoe

And I really went down a deep rabbit hole with that and then I would walk into a gym and talking to people and they're having to they're wrapping themselves with bands and doing all sorts of crazy Mobes before they work out and you know I come to find out they have to do that.

25:40.29

Max Shank

Who.

25:47.75

mikebledsoe

Every single time before they squat I was like oh you can't just do like a simple five ten minute warm up and then squat without pain. It's like this is not a this is not because you're not wrapping yourself with enough bands. This is.

25:48.50

Max Shank

Ah.

26:02.50

Max Shank

Just need a few more bands I think it's just a couple more you're like 3 bands away.

26:06.26

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah, yeah, was like it's like wow you know, um and I remember bringing this up years ago when it was first dawning on me and you know having a popular podcast and talking about it. Publicly people are like mike's lost his fucking mind.

26:24.42

Max Shank

Yeah.

26:26.23

mikebledsoe

And I was like okay I think now I think it took me some time to learn how to explain it better. But I also think that generally our culture is has become more hit to these ideas as well. Not everybody but I would say.

26:41.16

Max Shank

Now some.

26:44.76

mikebledsoe

More I come across more people that that immediately agree with that I get less pushback than I used to.

26:50.19

Max Shank

Well, the purpose of pain is to get you back into safety. The the reason for pain is it's just an action signal but it's not specific. So if you feel a pain in your knee. That's not necessarily where. The problem is it's just saying do something different. That's all very nonspecific, but the purpose is is to protect you and protection and safety and security. Once again, they're all synonyms like we're all you know we're framing.

27:11.76

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

27:28.34

Max Shank

These fundamental realities of life as slightly different things. Hunger pain desire safety security. They're all very very similar so you have to I you don't have to but I I think it's helpful to recognize which are which are synonyms. So you can sort of start grouping them together and discover what the underlying sensation is right? and it's like we talked about a few episodes ago. Ah with the 3 levels of your brain you have to secure the lizard love the mammal so you can free the wizard which is the. Reptilian mamma alienlian and neocortex and if you are just living in a state of fight or flight which you can send yourself there just by watching the news. It's game over you'll just be constantly like I'm I'm afraid and you have no ability. To use your Neocortex. It's like an abused dog who just bites anyone that comes close.

28:35.76

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

28:36.67

Max Shank

Ah, it's ah it's It's a tricky thing I mean we're really emotional creatures but that's also our strength because we want to share um the bounty we want to share the load. We want to alleviate the suffering of our of our fellows. Um. You know Lizards don't really do that I'm not trying to like ah bad mouth Lizards or something like that I think Lizards are great creatures as Well. It's just a different strategy.

29:05.34

mikebledsoe

Yeah, you believe in the lizard people.

29:10.14

Max Shank

I Believe some people exhibit lizard-like characteristics. but but I also usually can see different traces of animals in people.

29:22.78

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

29:25.26

Max Shank

Like I'll see someone be like oh that person looks kind of giraffe-like or that person looks kind of bird-like you know what? I mean.

29:29.60

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah yeah, there's something about women who wear like pointing masks that like I see a woman with a pointing mask at the grocery store and I want to get I Just want to go? Ah, ah.

29:38.16

Max Shank

Ah, that's that's a bird.

29:47.73

Max Shank

Well I think in ah the U K they I think in the Uk they're called Birds ladies. Yeah, yeah, these birds were down at the pub that sounds right? doesn't it.

29:47.86

mikebledsoe

No woman wants to be called a bird I don't think what are women oh really? Ah well I well I know that. What was that tv show always sunny in Philadelphia they ah, they always called the woman in that show a bird and she hated it. D.

30:11.49

Max Shank

D yeah, yeah, she hate it. Yeah of course. Well, that's America it's different in ah in the u k you can also walk up to a guy on the street and say hey can I bum a fag and that's it's a totally normal thing to say. But if you said that here. People would find that offensive it means can I borrow can I borrow or have a cigarette That's what that means.

30:29.43

mikebledsoe

Yeah, or you might yeah exactly I'm glad you cleared that up that that might have eluded some people. Ah 1 of the things I the pain like having knee pain may not meet. Mean and it usually doesn't mean there's a problem with your knee it it means there's a problem somewhere else, but it is a sign to change Behavior. It says hey let's do something different. Um, 1 of the things that I I ah try to be.

30:54.36

Max Shank

Um, yeah action. Signal.

31:07.70

mikebledsoe

Because again, if you're in this game very long. You realize that any pain in your body probably isn't because of that thing Specifically it can be but the best way to be is is to be curious and to start asking like hey what should I be what have I been doing that might be contributing to this.

31:15.33

Max Shank

And.

31:26.55

mikebledsoe

All right? do experiments to try to change it. Ah because really it comes down to you're you're responsible for your own health and you know, Ah, ah someone else can help you figure some things out and start pointing in the right direction. But. It's really up to you at the end of the day to figure out what's actually going on with you.

31:48.13

Max Shank

That's ah, that's a super wise and powerful tool is curiosity I Even think the word curiosity is probably as close as you can get to a medicine for fear. Because Fear is also about the unknown rather than the known like you're afraid of what might happen to my story. Oh My God What if people hate me because once you know for sure that people will hate you. It's not really like a ah. You're not afraid of it Anymore. You're just like oh well,, That's what's going to happen Now. So Curiosity is also you don't know what's going on. So. It's also the unknown but it's just in a positive light. So you're bringing light to the unknown instead of.

32:25.70

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

32:43.26

Max Shank

Being stuck hiding from the darkness. So I think that that is probably if there's a big takeaway about Fear. It's that curiosity is the opposite it. It puts you right back into Neocortex it puts you right back into. Conscious takes you right out of compulsive fear spiral so fear and and curiosity. Um, you know you'll of course be afraid of things and really afraid of um. What may come to be right because you don't know exactly what it will be but curiosity same unknown but a totally different frame of reference. So that's that's huge I think of goals.

33:29.42

mikebledsoe

E.

33:40.20

Max Shank

And I think of action. So I always think of whenever I create a message of some kind I always start with what do I want who to do exactly. So.

33:54.40

mikebledsoe

Hey.

33:56.51

Max Shank

Who am I talking to and what exactly do I want them to do ah quite frankly, ah the time where I just write something so people read it is is long gone and it's not enough for me to get off my ass and do it's it just doesn't feel worth it. Which is exactly what I want to talk about now which is the pain to prospect ratio. It's an estimate that we make consciously or unconsciously about is the juice worth the squeeze and people.

34:27.53

mikebledsoe

E.

34:31.63

Max Shank

Especially with exercise are very bad at estimating they think oh it's it's just not worth it to do ah a ten minute exercise session or movement session because they're ah it's too much. Yeah, too much effort. Not enough payoff. Right? The pain is too great. The cost is too high. The benefit won't be high enough. So.

34:51.90

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah I don't think they realize the accumulatative effect people have a hard time projecting positivity in the future.

34:59.40

Max Shank

What? Well you have to be able to defer gratification because in the short term exercise makes you weaker. Ah it depends what you do I mean there's ah.

35:09.67

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

35:18.33

Max Shank

Like a curve right? If you do a little bit of exercise. It makes you much stronger that day. But if you do a lot. It makes you much weaker that day and it's probably you know like most things kind of Bell curvish. But you have to be able to see long-term and defer gratification till later just like. Investing just like working on a long project. Um, some people maybe write books in 1 day but that's probably not very many people. The reason more people don't is you have to string a lot of.

35:46.62

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

35:53.37

Max Shank

Writing sessions together and in my case, the hardest part for sure is editing writing is so easy editing is is way ah way tougher I think ah but in order to do anything you have to meet a catalyst.

35:57.67

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, yeah.

36:13.30

Max Shank

In your pain to prospect ratio which so I have a pretty weird motivational technique which is I don't I don't I'm not a good cheerleader but I just kind of point out the obvious and say look you know you can do this. And if you don't it just means you don't think it's worth it yet. That's all that's okay, like if you write in your journal for fifteen minutes every morning for 2 weeks. It means that you're probably taking this um mental practice that we're trying seriously and then. At the end of those 2 weeks. We'll have an idea of whether or not this is ah giving you some benefit and what you've gotten out of it and here are some tools of course like um, fill in the blanks type of stuff can be really beneficial for help. Ah I call it ah mind mining.

37:08.60

mikebledsoe

A.

37:09.20

Max Shank

Like you're a minor with like a little pickaxe so you help people ah mind their minds and the reality is ah hunger is the motivator hunger pain desire all synonyms ambition same thing I didn't even really consider the fact. That I named my gym ambition athletics which is basically a synonym for desire athletics and is just so funny like thinking back into it and it is the desire to achieve something and you need to experience some sort of pain. With the status quo even if it seems like very love-based like I want to I I Love the I Love Children. So I Want to save the children. It's like yeah you want you feel pain right now that they are suffering. Basically so everything relates back. To whether or not the pain to prospect ratio prospect being like what you predict the outcome will be is sufficient of a catalyst for your action. That's true for basically everything.