How to Use Language for Your Benefit

00:00.83	mikebledsoe	Today we're talking about language. Some people may say that's boring and the reason and and ah I won't name the show language probably for that reason. Well, we'll say something clever on this episode between max and myself. And and then name it that but we wanted to really talk about it because we found it to be a very important subject for us to focus on I know for myself. It's helped me to ah. Not only communicate better with other people I think most people go oh you're better at language you could probably communicate better and in ah in an effective way that other people will will hear what you have to say in the way you want it to be received but also just for myself just for. Deliberately using language to reduce the own confusion I have in my own mind to work things out to become more certain about ah how I am approaching things and about what's going on in the world and I think anyone who does not put their attention into language. Um. Is going to be extremely limited in their ability ability to be productive and effective in the world today. So I always think about language is a major component in the expansion of consciousness and if someone's interested in that and they leave that part out then there are. Ah, they're missing out on on a huge huge piece Max. What? what got you into focusing in on language and going. Wow this is something important to pay attention to.
01:45.43	Max Shank	It's the only tool we have for interaction other than physical touch which can be violent or nonviolent or body language. So everything. We communicate to ourselves and 1 another is done with this framework of language you have the deeper stuff which is ah feelings which don't necessarily need language to exist like you can be afraid or you can be aroused or you could be a little bit of both. For example. Um, I feel like the way that we are taught language is probably the worst way possible. So it almost sets you up for failure and you know I've always wanted to get as powerful as possible. And you realize at least I realized I was spending like hours and hours and hours in the gym and in a fighting gym doing kickboxing and Moai and kravmiga and all this stuff and you know you realize like that's not very practical like the. The likelihood of a violent interaction is really low Plus if you really want want to be good at that. You should just get a a weapon and get really good with that and then take it a step further. It's like ah some guy will just write a check and like win. Everything.
02:59.86	mikebledsoe	Um, yeah, as.
03:16.10	Max Shank	Like if you're able to communicate really well and put deals together and organize a group of people toward the same goal. That's where that pen is mightier than the sword comes from. So yeah, exactly So the the whole ah premise of getting.
03:24.10	mikebledsoe	You can just hire somebody to beat somebody up, you know at that point.
03:35.47	Max Shank	Physical power is like ridiculous ninety nine percent of the time now I do think it's very worthwhile to cultivate physical strength and mental strength can stem from physical challenge like if you carry a pack up a mountain. It's going to be. Physically challenging but that physical challenge is going to give you a huge mental challenge as well. Um, with communication There's only 1 goal really which is to transmit the message you intend. And that's I think the first place that people get gummed up is they don't even know what they're trying to communicate and you have to consider the audience so there needs to be just like a computer There's a sender and a receiver and it has to be. Um, understandable and in order for a human being to understand it has to be communicated to them in a way that resonates with them has to be communicated in a language that they clearly understand and you can't have too many bits. In a short amount of time. So like for example, when you download something off the internet. There's a download rate essentially and you can't go beyond that because the computer will start to miss things like you can't give too many bits. Per unit of time and so if I tell you hey mike remember this sequence of numbers. It's a 4 7 q l 1 2 3 8 11 b 1217 you're going to be like I don't know what the heck you're talking about now.
05:23.80	mikebledsoe	She.
05:26.10	Max Shank	If I stretch that over a much longer set of communication I can probably get you to remember all those things especially if I tell it to you in a story but by and law which is why? Ah so many stories were just. Told they weren't even written so we can go like way back like the way before we had written language we had spoken language so you have to be really clear on what you're trying to communicate and you can't give too many bits. Otherwise it gets lost So that's. I think 1 of the big things I've noticed both professionally and personally is people try to say too much and their core message gets lost right.
06:14.83	mikebledsoe	Right? Well I think um, 1 of the key things that you said there is that I'm not going to repeat you verbatim. But basically what I heard was people don't people aren't considering. The result of their communication before they communicate or while they're communicating my experience is that most people are trying to satisfy a feeling if I when I speak I Want to feel a certain way.
06:37.85	Max Shank	Right.
06:51.73	mikebledsoe	And it might be ah exactly the yeah, the feeling the the desire to be heard and understood is ah is a very common 1 when we study sales and marketing we go. Oh if you can just make the customer feel heard and understood.
06:52.14	Max Shank	Like a desire to be heard kind of thing.
07:08.27	Max Shank	Right? totally.
07:09.83	mikebledsoe	They'll buy almost anything from you. Even if you know as long as they if you people feel hurt and understood so infrequently that if when it happens it's a standout experience and there they they then.
07:23.37	Max Shank	And that's.
07:28.69	mikebledsoe	Get into this place where they know like and you know they like and trust you at least in that in that situation but 1 1 of the things I've come to ah realize is so many people are communicating for to solve for short term insecurities. They don't understand the long-term consequences of their communication most of which is there just communicating things that are like you were saying confusing people are confused by it and ah 1 of the ways that I that I have improved. My ability to communicate is really thinking. What is what is the result I'm trying to achieve with this information and the the more knowledge I've accumulated the the less knowledge I tend to lay out for someone to take on at a time. Spread it out as you were saying you know I could give you everything that you need to know in a weekend to to run your business effectively. But your ability to grok that and then put it into practice. It's just it's too much too Fast. It's not. Not going to get the desired result.
08:43.34	Max Shank	Yeah, So if you're communicating for self-gratification instead of conversion I think it's a really big mistake and I think it shows a lot of insecurity people tend to use a lot of 10 dollars Words. Or twenty dollars words it doesn't matter how much the words are but complicated words that people don't really understand as well and the more confident you are the less you feel a need to talk just to talk. And the less you feel a need to fill up the gaps in silence because you're like oh I'm I'm afraid the other person will start talking and then I'll lose my turn. So.
09:25.75	mikebledsoe	I used to do that I used to I would like I would throw a lot of ums in there. So I could stretch out what I was saying so no 1 could interrupt me I was signaling. Oh don't don't speak because I still have something to say.
09:40.71	Max Shank	And if you're smart It doesn't come out as an um, it's just another bit. You may not say um or Hm or and ah ah you it may just be I start talking about something else. So I keep the the conch shell right? the.
09:44.70	mikebledsoe	A.
09:59.40	Max Shank	The the talking stick. Ah, if you don't have a ah goal. It's fine. You know you don't want to like over analyze your whole life like I do in every word you say. But if you're just having um, if. You're communicating with someone. There should be a goal like I have a little checklist actually I can pop through real quick. So um, step 1 is who are you sending this to which is your audience step 2 is what do you want them to change or do which is the call to action. Ah, why should they which would be the benefits plus the supporting Features. What are the consequences. So the heaven or hell how will you inspire hope which are stories and steps make it feel easy and possible and how much. Time effort and cost will it take so what is the cost of what they're doing and when you realize that basically every bit of communication is you're you're trying to get someone to take a specific action at least when you start getting into ah writing and sales. Which is persuasion relationships are the same thing like I think you should take out the trash and I will do this instead and there are all kinds of ways that you can break it down. But if you don't know what you're trying to achieve at the very outset then it's it's fun. It's a conversation. It's a stream of consciousness boom boom boom back and Forth. There doesn't have to be a clear outcome involved. But I think that's where writing gives you a lot of clarity because you start structuring your ideas with. Supporting arguments. You know you have a premise like I think you should exercise in the morning for x y and z and here's the benefits that you get from it and you realize that you can't put. Too many bits in there and it forces you to consolidate your ideas into something that is digestible.
12:08.98	mikebledsoe	Yeah, and you said you said maybe you should not do what I've done which is put your your communication and and thoughts through constant analysis. But I found a lot of successful people. They may not be doing. Putting their thoughts through constant analysis currently or or putting a lot of attention into it. But I think going through a period of time where that happens ah a little a little thing that I've done and and I've challenged other people to do is to. Get rid of words in your vocabulary for a period of time and a word that gets Overused. So if you're using over usinging a word a word that I I think I still overuse. But I've got a lot better which is the word like. Which is extremely common for our generation. There's a lot of likes and you cut that 1 word out and you go well, that word's useful, but then you start when you cut it Out. You realize the majority of the use of that word that I I use it for is not Useful. It's wasted space.
13:23.37	Max Shank	It's filler. It's filler.
13:24.36	mikebledsoe	It's filler and and it can be confused if any filler creates more confusion by the way. Ah, and yeah, and so by removing that sometimes when it is useful I then have to go search for another word. And it's in its place. So 1 of the ways that I I train myself is I put a rubber band around my wrist and if I if the word slips through my lips I take a little band and I snap it on my Wrist. So I give myself a little little feedback.
13:49.14	Max Shank	Ah.
14:01.70	Max Shank	Do you worry that? um, you'll have to eventually upgrade to a shot collar just to get the same sensation.
14:01.39	mikebledsoe	On that. Ah.
14:07.59	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah, I've thought about that I actually was thinking about taking 1 of those shot collars and just putting it on my my nether regions in that just to really you know drive the point home now. How far does it go? ah.
14:14.21	Max Shank	Oh wow.
14:20.32	Max Shank	It um, it only goes 1 way typically.
14:24.50	mikebledsoe	Ah, well the the rubber band The rubber band is good because I've also been in I've been on stage before and snap my wrist. Ah and people go you know and I point out this is what I'm doing so it it becomes a social thing too is.
14:37.69	Max Shank	Right.
14:41.77	mikebledsoe	Oh I'm I'm showing everybody that I'm I'm making this mistake it. It brings it. It brings more of like a social awareness say I just said it a social awareness around what's going on and which brings more attention to it which causes me to be better about it.
14:53.22	Max Shank	Um.
15:01.63	mikebledsoe	So.
15:02.50	Max Shank	What's also fascinating is that when you appear more fallible people like you more like the thing that people hate most is the perfect guy. So interestingly enough so if you use.
15:05.59	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
15:18.30	Max Shank	Language like the common man and you go and um, you know what is that word? Oh yeah house like what's a you, you just? um, kind of develop that persuasion through affect. Rather than just having the simplest and most direct message possible because usually you are talking about persuasion of some kind you're persuading them to buy to try or to cry or to laugh or something like that. There's ah, there's a goal there.
15:48.94	mikebledsoe	Well people really value your intent I think a lot of people value intention over results. So even if you are fallible and you're you're going at least I'm trying people go oh you know, give you a little golf clap.
15:51.36	Max Shank	And just having.
16:04.25	Max Shank	Well whatever they believe your intention is right? So I think for your own psychological organization. You want to have the most clarity possible.
16:08.26	mikebledsoe	No.
16:21.64	Max Shank	Like essentially you want to have a triangle your triangle describes the main point and then each point of the triangle is the 3 like sub points of that. So. There's ah, a really solid clear precise structure to everything you're saying. But just communicating something in the simplest way possible isn't necessarily the most persuasive using stories and analogies that really make you feel certain things can be really beneficial even though they might seem. Superfluous or unnecessary like that word superfluous is a fun word to say but the fact that it means unnecessary and it's unnecessarily complicated is really hilarious.
17:21.77	Max Shank	These long pauses are really good for podcasting. You told me.
17:24.77	mikebledsoe	I did but then zencastr put this this little thing in the production where it cuts out anything over 1 point, 2 seconds it cuts it down in 1 point, 2 seconds. So it makes makes the pauses actually. Okay.
17:38.90	Max Shank	Whoa. So the folks at home won't get the full experience of that awkward pause.
17:46.96	mikebledsoe	Ah, 1 thing I find very interesting is when I when I started getting hip to the power of language I ah was really disgusted At. You know, maybe people aren't doing it on purpose. Maybe they are who knows yeah I was I was disgusted with well I stay disgusted about this. So. It's not like it's not as if this was a new feeling about this but education the the systematic government run.
18:05.94	Max Shank	It's a really strong emotion.
18:22.50	mikebledsoe	Education system really focuses on spelling things correctly and grammar. But what I notice is there's a ah lack of focus on definition of certain words.
18:29.41	Max Shank	Oh.
18:41.90	mikebledsoe	Ah, it's more about can we make it look pretty or are we following the rules of of ah you know don't put this word in front of this word and don't put this word at the end of the sentence and while completely leaving Out. You know how words shape our thoughts which shape our mind and and which words are helpful and which words won't be might be harmful and if you put them. You know if you follow this word with this other word. What's that doing to your mind and you know it. That hits me along with you know we teach algebra which no 1 hardly ever uses once they get out of high school. But no 1 knows how to balance their books. No 1 understands money the thing that they're constantly surrounded by so my my experience of language in regard to education is similar to that.
19:23.74	Max Shank	So so.
19:36.71	mikebledsoe	Mathematics and that ah you learn how to jump through all these hoops for the purpose of getting a good grade. But how are these things impacting your your life and being successful and so most of what I learned I was a very like reading and writing was. Was what I did. That was my best subjects and math was you know a little bit tougher for me but I look at all that and I go as as much as I learned about reading and writing and I was gotten these amazing grades.
19:57.70	Max Shank	So.
20:13.53	mikebledsoe	It wasn't until I was in my thirty s that I really started learning language in a way that was actually helpful for me. It's not complicated.
20:20.37	Max Shank	And it's not complicated. Good good communication either. I think what you said at the beginning about understanding how language shapes thought and that's the truth is language shapes thought. And of course your thought shapes the language that you use so it's a feedback loop but what I tell people is that everything about you that is not an animal is laid out with language. So every. Concept above your instincts is language driven. What is okay to do and what is not okay to do what is good to do what is bad that whole ah knowledge of good and evil thing that's all that's all language. That's it's basically. Anti-instinual pretty much so everything that we do that is not just pure animal instinct is laid on a foundation of language so you have to be really or you don't have to be but it's good to be very considerate of what language. You accept I mean we've talked about it I think in a past podcast even the concept of slavery is heavily based on the definition like that is a possibility so every every like thing we have and everything we have in place. Is laid out using words. It's conditional phrases if this then this every law is there's no such thing as ah laws. It's more crimes are defined. And punishments are also defined and sometimes they're left up to the discretion of the judge or something like that. But usually we define a crime we define a punishment we define a contest and we define a prize for that contest but everything. Outside of your base instincts is language so getting clear on how you would like to be and realizing that it's all just your perception that colors the world outside of instinct so you have instinct and then you have your. Individual perception. That's a that's a huge revel is revelation. That's enough to make anyone go crazy. Basically.
22:54.44	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, and and there's language shaping thoughts. So first I think most people think about language and they think about communication and but the the shaping of thoughts and really. Going inwards and go what is the language of my mind. How is the language of my mind playing out when I sit quietly when I say quietly and I notice oh these are not words that are coming out of my mouth but these are words that are running through the mind. What is.
23:28.44	Max Shank	Right? what.
23:32.30	mikebledsoe	How is that shaping my perception of this moment. What is what feelings? What feelings are associated with those words those words create a feeling um and and being curious about that and anyone who starts diving into how language shapes their thoughts.
23:35.27	Max Shank	Totally.
23:51.85	mikebledsoe	And you start making small tweaks. Oh I'm going to remove this I'm going to add this a game we call Play is with our coaching is the 1 word game is bring up a a common thought that comes up in your mind in this situation Cool What if we just changed 1 word. And we have them write out the thought right now write it out with 1 word change does that change how you feel and almost every time someone goes. Yeah I feel different because I took the not out of that is it accurate. Yes, or no, maybe yes, maybe no okay.
24:12.43	Max Shank	And.
24:31.27	mikebledsoe	What's the next word we would have to change to make this a more accurate statement. So what we do is we if if I I think a mistake that happens with in coaching that I see a lot of times as people go, you're doing it like this. Why don't you just try it like this and it's like and it's as if you changed 10 words of their.
24:33.35	Max Shank	Have.
24:50.36	mikebledsoe	Thoughts all at once going back to what you were saying before giving them bits giving them small bits so large and so shaping the mind 1 word at a time I'm going to use a piece of sandpaper to get us there instead of an axe and.
25:06.49	Max Shank	Like challenge change to ah but opportunity. For example, that's ah, that's a good 1 Yeah feels different.
25:08.33	mikebledsoe	Ah, exact. Yeah, exactly. So yup, that feels different when you say and then all of a sudden the ability to see opportunity opens up whereas challenges that word tends to focus possibility and. And just vision so really getting in the practice of recognizing how these thoughts shape how we think which shape how we perceive the world and and what our options may be and then we have language outside of ourselves which was I think about the thought of culture.
25:47.24	Max Shank	Spot Then what.
25:48.11	mikebledsoe	So all these concepts that I've used to look inwards in my own ability and then you know communicating with people who are closest to me in relationship. But then I start looking at the thought of culture. What are the what are the memes that come and. Not the memes you see on Instagram I mean those those do qualify those are a a version of these memes but a meme is a is it is a snippet of narrative. There's a meme in our culture of this and that and this yeah.
26:06.91	Max Shank	1
26:17.81	Max Shank	Like sorry tourette's sorry to write oh sorry? Sorry oh I'm sorry I'm sorry oh my god Jesus like is everyone really so sorry, all the time I used to do the same thing I have now gone.
26:24.21	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.
26:37.81	Max Shank	Completely the other way where I'm really cautious anytime I do say that because I'm not sorry like really.
26:45.61	mikebledsoe	No well I had someone recently is that I don't mean to cut you off, but and then and then just start kept talking I go I stopped him and I said yes you did and they go and there's a ah group of people in they go.
26:55.89	Max Shank	No yeah.
27:04.76	mikebledsoe	I Did what you meant to cut me off and they go and they kind of go. Ah, you said that and then you just kept on talking and they go oh shit I go I Go don't feel bad about it I'm just bringing this to your awareness you can cut I cut people off all the time but I don't tell people I don't.
27:09.95	Max Shank	Right? You know.
27:20.71	Max Shank	Um, right.
27:23.95	mikebledsoe	Started off by saying don't mean to cut you off cause like it's bullshit.
27:28.76	Max Shank	I'm not sexist but ladies are way better at cooking.
27:33.39	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, so so I start thinking about the thoughts of culture. Ah you know in the last year and a half it's been very. It's been on loudspeaker on social media. The the memes that the Instagram memes are are somewhat like those are cultural memes as well.
27:39.53	Max Shank	Ah.
27:50.33	Max Shank	No doubt.
27:51.74	mikebledsoe	Ah, and I think that if we when we go down to the core of culture. We actually do find law and those are the words that are laid out. They're not. It's not really law I Hate calling it law. It's it's policy So a group of people got together.
28:08.29	Max Shank	Crime and punishment.
28:11.37	mikebledsoe	Yeah, the kind of punishment conversation. You're having they they create a policy and you know they argue about which words we should use and what order and and we put them on this piece of paper and then and then we'll convince these policy enforcers that will tell you that they're here to protect and serve. But.
28:19.89	Max Shank	Her.
28:31.28	mikebledsoe	Really their job is to enforce policy and what you end up with is people don't really I don't think they actually recognize how important how our law is the foundation of culture and.
28:46.63	Max Shank	Ah, it's weaponized language.
28:50.92	mikebledsoe	Exactly I like that it's policy slash Weaponized language.
28:55.62	Max Shank	I Mean there's nothing.. There's nothing more ah like sneaky and coercive than drumming up these ah rules with punishments attached. In a language that the average person can't understand and when you think about how people have tried to control each other it really did go from the stick to the pen. You know the big guy with a big stick was like ah so like suppose I'm. Like a 200 and fifty pound monster with a club and you're just whatever your size is what are you like 1 sixty or something. Okay, so so suppose I'm like a yeah suppose I'm like a viking monster and I'm like hey there Mike ah I was just thinking I would I would take your house and your wife.
29:38.28	mikebledsoe	Yeah, 5 8 1 sixty not a big guy.
29:51.87	Max Shank	And ah and if you're not cool with that I'll I'll hit you with this stick until you're dead and for a long time that was how it worked basically. But then 1 day you were very clever and you were like hey hey hey whoa you don't want to do that because then you'll burn in hell forever.
29:58.25	mikebledsoe	E.
30:10.38	Max Shank	I Mean you've heard about fire right? It's really hot burns it hurts and plus if you if you don't kill and murder then you go to heaven which is the it's the best I mean what? what do you like.
30:13.90	mikebledsoe	Ah, well this is this is what the catholic.
30:21.27	mikebledsoe	Well, this is how the Catholic church got a hold of the Knights The Knights were an unruly crew. So the.
30:28.66	Max Shank	I mean you would be too if you had ultimate power to stick somebody anytime.
30:33.10	mikebledsoe	Yeah, they the Knights ah a knight on a horse with armor could take out a Hundred peasants with ease. Ah and there's um, there's a.
30:44.23	Max Shank	A Hundred I think if those Hundred peasants had stick hundreds a lot I don't think so.
30:54.54	mikebledsoe	There's ah I was surprised by the statistics I was reading in That's to say he's on a horse a Knight a knight on a horse with let's say like a broadsw sword or something like that like most peasants aren't gonna touch him. He's gonna.
30:57.50	Max Shank	Maybe it feeds on a horse.
31:05.90	Max Shank	Ah. Most will run away. That's true. That's what happened with the the I think it was the Incas or something. It's a big It's a big difference I was talking about this at a party. Yeah.
31:11.35	mikebledsoe	Run right through him anyways, even if we say 25 whatever to huge difference so difference between like ah having a gun and a tank.
31:28.28	Max Shank	I Mean the difference between stick and no stick is actually pretty huge already. So it's just an arms race. But then we have this now instead of the rules of engagement of physical battle. It's the rules of engagement of stories and that's how we got to cooperate in.
31:43.60	mikebledsoe	Yeah, look yeah and and going back to what you're saying is the well what I was saying is the ah you come about making up a story of you're going to burn in hell.
31:47.00	Max Shank	In such big groups. We believe in the same tree spirit or something like that.
31:58.60	Max Shank	Right.
32:00.49	mikebledsoe	Which is basically what the catholic church did the catholic church came to the Knights and said hey you guys are doing a lot of raping and pillaging we got to get us under control so they created what's it called ah chivalry.
32:06.00	Max Shank	Right.
32:16.50	Max Shank	So so.
32:18.51	mikebledsoe	They created Chivalry so Chivalry Chivalry is a narrative like oh you want to be a chivalrous Knight because if you're chivalrous then you'll get the reward that you're looking for well being ah having Chivalry is the modern day citizen.
32:21.79	Max Shank	Ah.
32:29.78	Max Shank	It's like ethics right? we were talking about a few podcasts ago.
32:36.86	Max Shank	Um, ah.
32:38.48	mikebledsoe	So being a chivalrous knight is the same thing as being a good citizen today. Oh aka good slave and so the yeah, an obedient slave.
32:42.37	Max Shank	A good citizen right? right? obedient I Think yeah yeah.
32:54.98	Max Shank	I Mean you don't want a disobedient slave that like totally defeats the purpose if you can't see the value of owning a slave then you're just kidding yourself I mean I can totally understand everyone has tried to enslave not everybody. But.
32:59.62	mikebledsoe	Yeah, it makes they're difficult hard to.
33:14.68	Max Shank	Ah, so many so much slavery in the history of mankind. It's like hey do I want to do this work or do I want to sit on a horse with a whip while this other guy does the work I get it I get it.
33:24.45	mikebledsoe	Yeah, if you look at Western Society We have the least amount of slavery where I'd say we have the least where we're sitting in the in a world of like the least harsh slavery in all of human history.
33:36.25	Max Shank	And probably best for women's rights ever I mean you know about the bros before hose amendments. That's what I That's just what I call them So it's easy to remember we gave.
33:43.55	mikebledsoe	Now.
33:53.30	Max Shank	We're really losing her female audience right now. Ah we gave ah black guys. The ability to vote before women before white women and I just I just find that pretty funny because just before that black people were enslaved here.
33:59.86	mikebledsoe	Oh that's right.
34:11.90	Max Shank	But women were not enslaved but we just fast-track dudes to like yeah you can you could call the shots with a not you ladies though, you ladies no no and so you think about how that has accelerated so much and then in other parts of the world like I don't know.
34:11.48	mikebledsoe	E.
34:30.17	Max Shank	The middle East For example, it's very clear pecking order right of who's in charge. But I think there have been some costs of that like for example, like ah in the.
34:33.27	mikebledsoe	Um, yeah.
34:48.32	Max Shank	Normal hollywood stories. Let's say the simpsons you know Homer simpson is an oaf married with children al Bundy is an oaf. So I think 1 of the things that is quite harmful and a little bit insidious is this. Male weakness where he's like always trying to like get sex with the lady and he's a dumb guy and he's like I mean even at the highest level we do this weird thing where presidents will be like oh well I got to check with the wife first to see if it's okay and you're like whoa this is like. What is going on here like this weak. Ah male figure is probably pretty destructive to the hearts and minds of our culture.
35:39.22	mikebledsoe	Yeah I ah um, will get away from such touchy subjects for a secondc I'll make it maybe a little more palatable here. Ah yeah, 1 of the.
35:51.94	Max Shank	I Think that's what you're here for.
35:57.96	mikebledsoe	But we ah if we want to look at the power of narrative if we look at tv shows we look at ah what happens in Tvs and movies who's always the oaf it like that. It's the personal trainer if you're the personal trainer. The coach you're you're dumb. He's a dumb meathead.
36:14.92	Max Shank	I am.
36:17.52	mikebledsoe	But then they make entire television series about these Genius doctors that are saving. People's lives in the Er emergency room but and so and on what the narrative is personal trainers are dumb miaheads and on the other end is these doctors are are complete geniuses.
36:26.31	Max Shank	Um, ah but.
36:37.29	mikebledsoe	And so we have an entire culture that doesn't want to listen to people who are telling them how to be healthy but will do anything somebody Lab coat will have on and it's really how it's been played out. That's the narrative but the yeah and.
36:49.51	Max Shank	Um, that's the appeal to authority that's that's 1 of the 2 main fallacies that we make appeal to authority and ad hominem attack and that goes right back into our language conversation because those are the 2 main things you see.
37:00.49	mikebledsoe	Well well couldn't the narrative be couldn't the narrative be that people who are say health coaches are fucking geniuses and they have the authority and you should listen to them because they know better. And medical doctors are are there just in case, you don't listen to the Health Guys. You know, just in case you were you were making poor decisions Now you got to go see this guy. You dumb Ass. So what? Ah what would it take for that that narrative to be painted.
37:30.60	Max Shank	Well.
37:36.83	mikebledsoe	And I mean I think we go back to law right? There are laws regulating Medicine way much more heavily than they are the health industry. So I see that I see the health and well there's ah, there's a way. Ah, okay, let's get into semantics here right? until we have yeah.
37:44.72	Max Shank	Oh yeah.
37:54.79	Max Shank	That's all we've been doing.
37:56.47	mikebledsoe	The Healthcare care industry right? people talk about Healthcare industry and then you know people go? Oh it's not the Healthcare care industry. It's the sick care industry and which is more accurate. Um, and people don't want to hear that they they like oh that's true, but they don't really dig into it.
38:06.35	Max Shank	No.
38:16.50	mikebledsoe	But ah, the way I've been thinking about more lately is we have a medical system and then we have a health system where we have a health industry and then we have a medical industry and the medical industry is not the health industry and the health industry is not the medical industry and the medical industry is getting all the attention it gets. People are listening to medical doctors are listening to all this but the the health industry has got if anything ah a more diminished voice ah over the yet last year and a half people like people who are more health oriented and preventative like.
38:36.26	Max Shank	And.
38:55.50	mikebledsoe	Mercola or rob wolf or abel james all these I I have many personal friends who have been censored and ah, what's it called shadow band.
39:09.42	Max Shank	We could do. We could do a whole show on censure censorship I think it's always bad though I think that is such a slippery slope because as Thomas Soul rightly Puts its. Not about what will we do? It's who will decide what we do so who gets to be the arbiter of what is true and what is not true and just from ah an uncommon sense standpoint What is the gain.
39:35.60	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
39:49.11	Max Shank	From silencing people why why would that happen in the first place
39:56.73	mikebledsoe	You don't want competing narratives.
39:59.83	Max Shank	Yeah, you have to protect your authority right? because the reality is people are very uncomfortable taking responsibility for their own lives. We've been taught from a young age. Let's put that responsibility on someone else, but. Where goes the responsibility also goes the power. So the reality is in America most most death maybe like 80 percent is self-caused by ah by a variety of things and that's a really high number. People commit suicide directly way more than they murder each other which I think shows how kind we ah really are at heart we would rather kill ourselves way higher. Yeah, it's like four x yeah, it's like.
40:46.30	mikebledsoe	We have a higher suicide rate than a murder rate is that what you're saying um I'm not familiar with these stats I'm not familiar with murder rates.
40:57.50	Max Shank	Yeah, it's not high. It's really low like we barely murder people at all relative to how much we kill ourselves directly with like a toaster in the bathtub or a bottle bottle of pills.
41:05.10	mikebledsoe	Yeah I think we've lost more more soldiers in the united states more soldiers to suicide than than battle in the last twenty years
41:14.74	Max Shank	Yeah war seems really really tough and then so I have to add on to that statistic people would be like wait 80 percent of people get self-destruct yeah because if you sit on a couch for. 40 years and eat tons of cheetos or whatever your snack of choice is and you become very very fat like you're responsible for when you get diabetes didn't kill you you killed yourself and diabetes was just the way that you ultimately died. So. Most people kill themselves with their choices and there's a distinction I want to make and it's between fault and responsibility because I think if you see a fat kid. That's the parent's fault for sure. But if that. Fat kid grows up to be a fat adult then it's still their responsibility to decide whether or not they want to get healthy so it may not be their fault that they were set up in that situation I mean a lot of people have challenges or opportunities and.
42:17.85	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah.
42:29.61	Max Shank	Think it's going to be tougher. No question but you still have to accept that responsibility and once you realize that most people kill themselves quickly or slowly you start feeling that responsibility once again. For your own life and I think that's extremely valuable in terms of how how you live.
42:54.41	mikebledsoe	Yeah, the the fault and responsibility distinctions. Great. That's something um you know at our previous Conversation. We talked about collapse distinction and what you're saying there is people that there what I What we've seen is a collapse distinction around fault and responsibility. And ah, it's a common phrase I've used in coaching which is and may not be your fault but it is your responsibility and I think's I think it's good for people to hear that because fault comes with a lot of times associated with guilt.
43:21.50	Max Shank	Great.
43:32.70	mikebledsoe	Um, it's my fault now I feel guilty about it when someone stuck gets stuck in and dwells in guilt. They usually have a hard time making the change necessary because now they start now when guilt arises a lot of the behavior that comes out of guilt is punishing 1 ne's self and.
43:49.21	Max Shank	You know for 1
43:50.97	mikebledsoe	You're going to punish yourself by either making it worse or not changing so you have to get to a place of like looking at fault even if it is your fault is getting to a place of of forgiveness and then that way you can move into being responsibility and I think about responsibility as. Simply the ability to Respond. Do you have the ability to respond yes or no, okay, well then you're responsible now you can choose whether you're going to respond or not, that's that's up to you but again, we're back at choice and so I I think what you said was really important for people to hear is.
44:15.22	Max Shank	Great.
44:27.97	mikebledsoe	Fault and responsibility because when we look at if I look at Politics. For instance, there's a lot of people. What what? you'll hear them say is when something goes wrong. They we need to figure out who's responsible but they don't actually go look for responsibility. Because they would all have to look at themselves what they do is they they start looking at who to blame? Yeah, so it's like now they're looking at whose fault it is and who they can blame so they can they can ah externalize the shame and guilt so that they can then.
44:49.44	Max Shank	The whipping Boy. Right.
45:04.66	mikebledsoe	Keep doing whatever the fuck they wanted to do in the first place and while making the public at large you know angry at somebody and manipulating them. So so it's yeah.
45:11.69	Max Shank	Doesn't work. It doesn't work once you once you blame,, There's no end to the blaming. That's it. It's 2 Thousand year old book says that we it's It's not that we don't have access to the information. It's that. We let our ego get in the way we want to find retribution. We want to put the responsibility onto somebody else. We want to get ourselves as far away from the bad thing as possible because we want to think of ourselves as good and. That's also the primary barrier to change is we get so attached to the story that we've built up for ourselves I'm good because X Y Z or even I'm bad because X y Z people tend to hang onto them just as tightly which is so.
46:00.42	mikebledsoe	E.
46:05.39	Max Shank	Fricking Weird right? You are stuck in this story of you and you are trying to get as much permanence as possible. That's what people mostly chase is they want permanence.. That's why um. When we're Dead. We Want little condos for ourselves. Still we want We want to like sit in a graveyard. We're like I'm still here I'm still here hey story of me still here not going anywhere I will last as long as this funny shaped rock and it's a crazy thing that we do So Everything comes back To. Story Story Story. The mass behaviors are story driven everything that we do professionally is often just to find Love. That's what's so funny if I show. That I can protect which in our era now is a house car and a retirement fund and you know you go up a boat a plane an island.
47:12.49	mikebledsoe	I'll tell you this yeah, that's accurate and when ah when ah dating my my girlfriend. Ah when she first saw me with with firearms and she saw how good I was with them. She was like oh my god I'm um. Just so turned on right now and I yeah, ah okay I was just I'll just trying to show you how to shoot. But.
47:37.18	Max Shank	That's very natural desires to be feel protected and I think that would you say that's the primary reason that ladies go for a wealthier. Dude It's for protection. It's for safety.
47:48.89	mikebledsoe	Yeah, well, there's there's but there's protection and then there's provision as well as so ah and they go hand in hand First you got to protect? Yeah, but well.
47:51.36	Max Shank	You know that's the that's the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy
48:01.18	Max Shank	We don't want to collapse distinction. Those.
48:07.63	mikebledsoe	You protect first and then provide second you know yeah, all that all that comes down to safety. Yeah.
48:08.74	Max Shank	Um, well we could just call it safety Can you keep me can you keep me safe. Can you keep me safe and well you know the more simple language we can use in this particular case the better it is and.
48:23.90	mikebledsoe	Well, there's ah I've also ah gone on the other side of that which is looking at not so much about ah a lot of the safety he has to do with what we want to avoid but also ah how you were how you experienced love as a child. So some people.
48:38.75	Max Shank	Ah.
48:41.48	mikebledsoe	Especially the the experience with their father whether you're a man or a woman your experience of your father. What was his how did you experience him? What was your fondest memories of him right? So ah for me. Ah I first.
48:52.28	Max Shank	Here.
48:59.50	mikebledsoe	Remember my my father as as a teacher whereas I noticed some people they saw their father as a provider or a protector and so that's how they show up in relationship so they'll show up because that's how they experience love so on the safety side that's well, it's about avoiding things but on the love side.
49:00.78	Max Shank	Earth. And.
49:18.89	mikebledsoe	About what we want to move towards and so if you can create safety then the next thing we we look at is well how did you experience your father and ah, how did you experience love from. How did you know that your father loved you like I know that my father loved me because of the way because he taught me and here I am I become. My primary role in my my work is to be a teacher and that's that's my way of showing love and so I also recognize the women that I date tend to be teachers in some way or or they lead in some way instead of I don't care if they make a lot of money because I Never really saw my dad as like.
49:40.16	Max Shank	Earth.
49:56.88	mikebledsoe	The primary role in him his life wasn't to provide for me but I'm not a lady in a lot of women I talked to that's how they experienced their dad as oh they provided me protected me all that and so that's what they look for.
49:58.77	Max Shank	But you're also not a lady.
50:09.10	Max Shank	Right? That makes a lot of sense I think we should call our podcast traps and treasures I really do I thought about it a lot I think that's the best 1 we have and it describes look. The reality is.
50:20.47	mikebledsoe	I Think it is too.
50:27.90	Max Shank	The average person could never listen to another podcast again and live totally well like that's what's so ironic about this experience for me is a lot of the time I feel like people just need to stop taking in so much input just just sit there. Quiet. With a piece of paper and think about what you really want like what is what is treasure mean to you? What does trap mean to you and that's what's so interesting about nurturing is we're implanting watch out for this look out for these. You're going to like these These are really bad.
50:50.69	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
51:05.20	Max Shank	And as I've said before for Gorillas it's so simple because they're like don't eat this green plant do eat this green plant and it's just do this Don't do this do this don't do this so that's what learning that's how learning can let you skip the line a little bit. Otherwise you have to experience every pain and fire Firsthand. That's the the big advantage of learning secondhand hey if you touch the fire you'll burn your hand now you can believe me. You can burn yourself on the fire and learn for yourself and I think we would agree that you do learn better through Firsthand experience but some things you don't want to risk you don't want to risk it for that traps and treasures.
51:55.79	mikebledsoe	Yeah, we now have the name the show traps and treasures now that's right, it's not it's not mike and Max or does a Maxim mike which 1 of us was first. Um.
52:02.31	Max Shank	With max and mike with Max and mike by the way I will um I I quit I quit unless my name is first.
52:14.70	mikebledsoe	Ah, um that's okay that's okay um I actually don't care that much I I care like I care like 1 percent. Yeah I like 1 percent. Maybe yeah.
52:24.81	Max Shank	He cares? he he cares. He just wants to look cool. He cares.
52:33.78	mikebledsoe	If I if if you didn't care at all my name First you care if you care 2 percent like I fucking give it to them. Um, so we got to subtitle this there's got to be like what's our. What's our mission statement here.
52:34.28	Max Shank	Um.
52:49.47	mikebledsoe	Is for traps and treasures. Yeah, who's the audience. What are we helping them with.
52:49.79	Max Shank	For for traps and treasures.
53:01.96	Max Shank	I mean maybe we can think about this a little bit before we just kill our airtime today. Yeah, let's do some more long awkward pauses I like it.
53:06.29	mikebledsoe	Um, it's the best way to end the show and the show with that. We're gonna do some ah research on this if anyone has any suggestions fire him over. So um, yeah in it.
53:20.83	Max Shank	That's ah I was thinking that you know there are there are traps and treasures within and without we can go into what to look out for. In a business partner or a romantic partner and we can also look out for what kind of thought patterns that we engage in and how we communicate with ourselves and how we I always talk about framing the experience. How you frame the experience. So for example, it's pretty windy and cloudy today in Southern california but I like it and I appreciate a sound such like a hippie but basically I really appreciate the the difference I like to see the. The wind blowing the leaves around and it looks very textured and cool and it's it's a nice change of pace and then the other experience the other frame of that experience is oh it's it's cold and I I hate this cold weather and it's so windy today and I think. The way that we frame our experience with language is really the only way to be happy ultimately because happiness is sort of like a fleeting feeling and it just depends on what you compare it to probably a better. Goal would be to remove as many of the ego barriers as possible and just flow with the natural rhythms of nature which is what we talked about last week so I think the traps and treasures within and without are. Totally framed by language so it can be languages like a knife you can stab yourself with it or you can perform surgery and save life.
55:30.23	mikebledsoe	Beautiful.
55:31.69	Max Shank	Language is also the ultimate leverage tool of human beings more than anything by far because it's allowed us to transcend space and time with our ideas and build upon them progressively. So if you want to learn how to use the best. Leverage tool we've ever come up with that's probably a good return on investment for your time. I mean if you just practiced your ability to communicate really practiced for like 2 hours a day within a year you'd be in the top five percent. So no matter what your personal interests were. You could be successful at them. I mean that's how that's how powerful it is I mean you don't need to do anything else you you can have the little phrase you can tell or be told.
56:15.32	mikebledsoe	You'd probably be in the top 1 percent.
56:29.46	Max Shank	And if you want to dig a hole That's great, but wouldn't you rather come up with a good plan and tell someone else where to dig the hole. But either way you got to tell or be told that's language.
56:35.15	mikebledsoe	Um, but you know the highest paid highest paid positions in the world would be salespeople and ceos job.
56:47.10	Max Shank	Because they can move people.
56:50.49	mikebledsoe	Yeah, and well the job as Ceo is to communicate a vision that enrolls people into gets them excited to do a thing to create the future which he made up with his words or she and then the same with a salesperson I mean sales is just a conversation.
57:00.93	Max Shank	Ah. I Love that in a lot of companies. The person who sells the most gets more than the Ceo because that a lot because that is the most important thing and once you realize that that interaction.
57:12.47	mikebledsoe	That happens a lot.
57:24.87	Max Shank	With the customer I mean you and I have some experience in salesmanship and marketing and what's correct I bet you do ah the the value of being able to.
57:31.76	mikebledsoe	I Crush sales now. It's so much fun.
57:44.15	Max Shank	Put together a message that converts that you can leverage is crazy because it's not something that everybody can do ah language everybody most powerful tool We have.
57:52.77	mikebledsoe	Yeah, it's rare. Yeah yep, or we'll call it there call it there make sure to go to Maankank Dot com.
58:02.24	Max Shank	Available to us. Call it there I like it.
58:12.37	mikebledsoe	And Max shank and all the other platforms.
58:15.74	Max Shank	Make sure you check out mike underscore blood. So on Instagram thank you for joining us for traps and treasures with max and mike.
58:20.54	mikebledsoe	I Sure that's me.
58:30.45	mikebledsoe	Um, later.