Fear & Goals

00:02.80	mikebledsoe	Fear and goals this comes up a lot lot of people are I talk to people all the time and who are interested in developing themselves and 1 the common things that come up is. Yeah, ask them. You know what's holding you back from you reaching your goals right now and they'll be they'll just say fear or go. Oh well, what are you afraid of and ah and then they go oh I haven't thought that far. Ah. And so we start naming them off. So ah I'm excited to talk about today's topic which max suggested which is fear and goals identifying fierce sateers of goals. So ah, oh oh.
00:53.44	Max Shank	Spoiler alert there's only 1 fear.
00:58.74	mikebledsoe	We're not going to tell you what it is until the very end though so you got to stick around.
01:00.38	Max Shank	Ah, it's not much of a spoiler alert thing. Is it.
01:06.12	mikebledsoe	Ah, the no no, it's not.
01:10.75	Max Shank	It'll make sense too. Once I say it people you'd be like oh yeah, of course, there's only 1 thing that we're really afraid of.
01:15.70	mikebledsoe	Ah, so what we were talking just before we hopped on about people feeling safe and how most people in order to feel safe try to make enough money and if I make enough money then I'll feel safe. You know then I'll be able to live a good life and then ah people make the money and then you know now they they realize that they're responsible for their own health or their own physical protection and so they start investing in that next. Ah, but ah, the way I think about it is you know you can always just decide to feel safe and then because there's always gonna be something to do next in order to feel safer.
02:10.92	Max Shank	It's kind of the it's there's a parallel between how evolution first ah like prioritized armor in fish like bony. Armored fish and then they just got faster and faster so speed was king and since we have this pretty far out ability if you pardon the pun to see pretty far out into the future. The. Fastest speed ever is preemptive. So once you settle or um, swaddle maybe like 1 fear you like make yourself feel safe. Then you just think forward on to the next 1 and usually the people who make the biggest waves in their lives are the ones who are never satisfied with where they're at they're thinking on to the next thing and on to the next thing and on to the next thing and I mean I was definitely that way. It was always. Onto the next thing and once you get ah 1 thing ah locked in because that's what people really want because we can think forward. We think like okay if I have this much money for retirement then I'm like locked in to safety if I get married then I'm locked in. To a romantic relationship and you know you have all of these ideas. So um, security can span usually does span. Well beyond security in the present moment which is really just a reflexive reaction to danger rather than fear which is a preemptive prediction of what could happen in the future.
04:09.93	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, because it's not true until it happens so fear fear is and is born out of imagination.
04:15.88	Max Shank	Right.
04:21.58	Max Shank	Right? And it's effective to preempt um situations like so a squirrel saving nuts for the winter is making a prediction of how many extra nuts to save up. In order to go through the season where there aren't going to be any growing on the trees. So. It's effective and that's like ah I heard this term the other day about attention Deficit which is a warrior.
04:42.43	mikebledsoe	Yeah, the.
04:56.47	Max Shank	In a farmer's world or maybe a hunter in a farmer's world and I thought that was I thought that was 1 of the best ways I've ever heard it described it just says so much you know a lot of folks who would be amazing hunters like as soon as they see the tracks.
05:03.69	mikebledsoe	Yeah, that makes sense.
05:14.99	Max Shank	They're on it and they won't let go of that track and they'll just grind through and push and keep walking and keep going and hunt that thing down Maybe don't have the patience to hoe a field and like plant a bunch of seeds and you know plan that whole thing ahead.
05:26.63	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
05:32.49	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, yeah, not projecting as far out into the future I was listening to a guy guy named Matt john vervacki he did a a youtube series of sixty 1 hour lectures and I forget.
05:33.78	Max Shank	Right.
05:51.27	mikebledsoe	Something about the meaning crisis is the name of the lectures and he talks about just the word project comes from projectile. Yeah, like the the hunters when they got they evolved far enough to start being able to go.
05:52.89	Max Shank	A. Project.
06:11.27	mikebledsoe	This target is moving in this direction at this speed and I must predict where it'll be as I let go of my spear and project it into the future because once you let it go. You know it's gonna land in the future and I was really.
06:21.30	Max Shank	Who.
06:27.88	Max Shank	Love it.
06:30.79	mikebledsoe	Really really fascinating as he said was saying that I go and the word project is used in business to with a series of targets in which you're going to hit to accomplish a specific goal at the end and I go man. This is so brilliant So he's so spot on. So.
06:42.60	Max Shank	Ah.
06:50.32	mikebledsoe	Yeah, hearing you talk about? ah yeah, projecting in the future made me think of that.
06:57.21	Max Shank	That's 1 of the most challenging things for people today I think is to be an active participant in selecting their time period that they're going to be in so you have ah the crystal ball which is projecting forward. You have the.
07:07.55	mikebledsoe	Um.
07:14.84	Max Shank	Book on the wall which is looking backward and then you have Baba ramdas be here now and then the future and the past just dissolve into this moment and if you're able to, um. Consciously instead of compulsively choose where you are then you're essentially some sort of superhuman. You know if you're constantly in the future. You're probably going to be in a very anxious individual. And you're not going to experience a lot of peace but you may.
07:50.10	mikebledsoe	Or or you could be just ah, a lazy daydreamer if you if it's a positive if if you're thinking about things positive in the future all time. But you're not taking the action in order to make it happen right now. That's not gonna you know.
07:54.81	Max Shank	Yeah, that's true.
08:05.43	Max Shank	Right? I I think dwelling. Yeah well, it's ah anxiety is like a fixation or you're stuck in the future depression is usually you're stuck in the past
08:07.65	mikebledsoe	That happened I seen that happen a lot too. But most people get anxiety.
08:22.22	mikebledsoe	Okay, in.
08:24.78	Max Shank	And everything's a gradient right? Everything is absolutely relative to your experience which is a funny term that I like absolutely relative but I like the I like the I never thought of ah project and projectile which is funny because it reminds me of.
08:39.26	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:43.46	Max Shank	1 of my favorite scenes in any movie ever which is in 2001 a space odyssey where the Monkey man learns that when he's holding the bone in his hand and when it falls it creates like a bigger impact in the pile of bones.
08:47.94	mikebledsoe	Where.
09:03.20	Max Shank	And it's this dawning realization that there's an extension of his ah will let's say through the bone that increases the level of Impact. So What's funny is um. Like chimpanzees ah fight a lot. A lot is also relative. But what's interesting is when they're doing ah a display of a oh yeah.
09:29.66	mikebledsoe	They have full on wars between the tribes. Not not just 2 champions chimpanzees fighting. There's like a tribe over here in a tribe over there and they go to war and they'll eat each other or bit bit cannibalistic as well.
09:37.83	Max Shank	Ah, it's gnarly. Ah, oh yeah, yeah, cannibalism is not reserved for humans Apparently a lot of animals do that and not just the female.
09:49.49	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
09:56.87	Max Shank	Eating the male after mating which is crazy common too. Anyway, my point if I.
10:04.16	mikebledsoe	Thank God I'm human that's not and that's not I might have to be afraid of my girlfriend eating me.
10:08.91	Max Shank	No, no, no, they don't they don't like literally eat you. They just ah and I I'll save that for I won't offend our last 3 female listeners.
10:16.58	mikebledsoe	Ah, you.
10:23.52	Max Shank	Ah, ah so anyway, the chimps they during displays of dominance will pick up huge tree branches and swing them around like they can hold it in their hand. They'll swing and they'll It'll be like Holy Lord that.
10:34.81	mikebledsoe	So a.
10:42.88	Max Shank	Monkey that chimp just swung a fucking like 4 by 4 sized cylindrical log through the air with insane speed but they never hit each other with a stick that. Amount that amount of extension. Ah cerebrally doesn't exist for them. So even to go from hand to stick to projectile is a huge ah extension of your will.
11:20.67	mikebledsoe	Yeah, someone call that expansion of consciousness. So yeah man I'm not the guy who wrote power versus force remember him what's his name man he had a quote which is ah.
11:20.94	Max Shank	Into the future.
11:28.70	Max Shank	It's a good word for it. Yeah.
11:33.21	Max Shank	No.
11:39.94	mikebledsoe	Ah, there is no passage of time. There's only an expansion of consciousness and something to it's so it's a good. It's a good meditative quote to consider I've found. Ah so I'm curious since we're gonna be talking about.
11:43.40	Max Shank	So.
11:50.81	Max Shank	Right.
11:58.83	mikebledsoe	Talk about fears and goals and you and I are both 1 of the reasons we do. This show is because you and I have both accomplished a lot of goals. You know, a lot of people set out to do things and they don't do them I know that you and I have both set out to accomplish goals failed out them. We've also succeeded at them and then realized we didn't want the thing that we thought we wanted but it was good that we accomplished the goal so we could learn that we didn't care about that. Ah, and so we've gotten very good at reaching goals which means that we've also. Been able to overcome a lot of fears in the process. So I'm curious for you. You know I'd love to know what your biggest fear was as you were developing as a young man and you were trying to achieve goals. What was the thing that.
12:50.39	Max Shank	Oh.
12:55.65	mikebledsoe	I know what mine is I'm wondering if you you know, but that there was like 1 primary fear that that held you back maybe in business or in athletics or something like that.
13:04.80	Max Shank	I mean I actually just wrote them all down the other day um, trying to trace him back as far as I can't for me, it was ah the fear that I I wouldn't be like physically safe. Um.
13:09.32	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
13:19.60	mikebledsoe	Um.
13:23.19	Max Shank	The other thing was ah, not not being good enough I think these are really common fears but they'll relate back to the same ah single point of fear which is ah the death of the ego. The reason people fear their physical death is because they fear the the death of the Ego. So when people are afraid of Judgment. They're afraid of what that means for their story for their ego when they're so everything relates back to.
13:53.14	mikebledsoe	So that.
13:59.60	Max Shank	Can you move past the fear that the story of you will be harmed in some way so 1 of the things I've noticed is that.
14:10.22	mikebledsoe	What do? what do we want to do we want to find ego sounds like you've given it somewhat of a definition and I know that when people hear ego. There's cool I like that I.
14:19.26	Max Shank	Let's just call it. The story. The story of you Yeah, your identity your identity your self image story of you So when you're thinking about like how do I protect myself physically. Yes, That's a natural instinct and it's also because the thought of not existing is like really scary to the ego I mean the reason people want to be good. Parents is they want to be thought of as good parents and they want to set up their loved ones. But it all it all relates back. To the fear of the identity being tarnished and that leads back to ancient cultures where it was thought of as way worse to be exiled than it was to be killed and you can even look at ah. Less ancient cultures where you know they have hara kiri where if you you know, shame your family or shame yourself you you disembowel yourself with a samurai sword and your buddy will chop off your head as an act of Mercy. After that just to make sure the job gets done and that's a way that you don't bring shame to your entire lineage so that multigenerational or intergenerational ego or identity is preserved even though the life. Of the physical body of that individual. Um, you know was caught in momentary shame and that's how you sort of save Face. So. It's really interesting to see what lengths human beings will go to to preserve. Story They'll kill themselves. They'll kill other people. Um, yeah, you know how dare those other guys believe in a different deity than us We have to kill them.
16:15.63	mikebledsoe	They'll kill for it. Yeah.
16:31.83	Max Shank	What.
16:31.85	mikebledsoe	Ah, you said 1 thing which was you had a fear of not good enough I've always thought about that fear I come across that a lot in coaching and you know it's a good blanket because it that is the phrase. That runs through someone's mind I'm like oh I'm not good enough to curious what you didn't feel like you would like what are the things you were afraid you were not going to be good enough at you weren't going to be good enough to do what.
16:58.59	Max Shank	Well initially I just struggled really hard with school I mean I almost got held back in several grades I failed Classes. You know I'd be there sitting in the desk just fucking suffering. Thinking back to the old days where I could just run around outside and play with a stick then you know ah not being able to pay attention and so I would get really bad grades and really Behind. On everything so I was just always behind um with regard to what I thought was everybody else learning all these things that you know I was made to believe were were really important. Of course that's not. Not really the case like memorizing factoids and obeying Authority turns out is not actually that useful for overall overall life Success. So.
18:03.85	mikebledsoe	That's not learning. Yeah well 1 of the things I I tell people early and in my courses is learning has been Misrepresented. You were. You weren't actually taught how to learn you were taught how to I don't I leave the obey part out because I don't want to trigger people too bad, but ah, not early on but why I like that it's it's a gradual trigger system. You know I start with like 1 that they can palate and then.
18:28.49	Max Shank	You don't want to trigger people too bad. That's funny.
18:40.50	mikebledsoe	Make it palatable. Yeah.
18:40.53	Max Shank	It's like Scientology. It's like scientology at first it's like you just got to get your thinking clear and then level 10 is like the evil alien overlord is making you sad and you're like whoa. If you had talked about this on day 1 I might not have stuck around.
18:56.50	mikebledsoe	Yeah, Ah, but you know ah in in our education system people are taught that being able to memorize and regurgitate is learning and so they. People become adults and they listen to podcasts and they make notes and they think they're learning but you don't you didn't learn anything until you've actually gotten the benefit of the learning which is you've changed a behavior. So I I like to define learning as Behavior change.
19:29.51	Max Shank	And.
19:34.38	mikebledsoe	I Don't want to hear from any of my students that you learn something until you've done it because until then it's still just an idea in just because it came from me doesn't mean it's right, You got to test it out for yourself.
19:43.99	Max Shank	Oh man I couldn't agree with that more because not only that if you don't apply something even if you did learn it and use it once. It's not going to stay I mean that's 1 of the it's probably an advantage. Um, emotionally that we don't remember every single thing that happened to us all the time if you take in some information and use it 1 time.. It's probably not going to really permeate into your identity or into your life. It's only the stuff that you use with some regularity that stays in the in the tool belt which is what you have access to all the time.
20:28.47	mikebledsoe	You know all right? So you you fell you weren't gonna be good enough. You didn't do well in school.
20:35.44	Max Shank	Yeah, so I mean the main thing really was just I didn't feel ah safe financially and you know we got foreclosed on evicted a couple times and bumped around like that. Oh yeah, i'm.
20:48.57	mikebledsoe	When you were a kid. Oh wow.
20:54.00	Max Shank	I mean I've had a job straight through since I was twelve I start ah contributing to the the family unit which I actually see as a pretty big advantage in a lot of ways. Um because you just get more experience.
21:05.43	mikebledsoe	I.
21:13.40	Max Shank	With the concept of value generation which I think is the absolute most important thing. So It's um, hunger pain and desire are all synonyms. And I think that's 1 of the most important things to understand if you're looking to pursue some goals or overcome some fears fear is like ah a psychological pain almost.. It's a fear of a feeling more than anything else or you're just pre-empting some sort of.
21:43.19	mikebledsoe	No.
21:49.40	Max Shank	Loss. Um, and ah, it's a feeling right.
21:49.94	mikebledsoe	Yeah, most of the time when we're avoiding a situation. We're avoiding a conversation. We're avoiding it having a feeling. It's not the situation. It's how it's gonna make us feel and 1 of the things that's created the most freedom for me is. Taking on the you know made it made I've made it a goal to accept love and eventually become comfortable with all feelings that come Up. You know so that the the feelings I used to avoid because I I didn't like them.
22:19.31	Max Shank	Oh.
22:27.50	mikebledsoe	I Can I can now love sadness. You know where whereas I couldn't love it for I dwelled in guilt where now I just get to be with what I felt guilty about and then move on whereas yeah there was just.
22:33.18	Max Shank	Oh.
22:43.77	mikebledsoe	Were things I would indulge in and things that I would avoid and it all came from fear and getting to know that that which I'm afraid of Intimately has created a lot of freedom for me. Um I call it emotional freedom but you know that radiates into.
22:45.31	Max Shank	Oh.
22:57.61	Max Shank	Oh.
23:02.36	mikebledsoe	All my behaviors. My psychological freedom my physical freedom all of that I found that if you if you manage the emotional fear and you become friends with it then it loses its power.
23:05.35	Max Shank	M.
23:17.72	Max Shank	I would have to agree I mean and as you well know a lot of our fears and pains are psychological but they manifest physically so you may have I mean that's why.
23:31.41	mikebledsoe	Me.
23:36.27	Max Shank	Low back pain is 1 of the I think it is still the most common pain even in sedentary workers. So workers comp. It's ah it's full of people with low back pain who don't lift anything and it's not.. It's not just because they're. Weak is because they're sad and that's the that's a funny revelation. Especially if as I did I started approach I started my approach to physical freedom with get as strong and fast as possible.
23:55.38	mikebledsoe	Um, you know.
24:12.56	Max Shank	Circled back to oh wait, everybody hurts all the time. So then I became like a ah body mechanic and was like oh well your knee hurts because your hamstrings are weak and your quads are tight now tell me I'm smart or something like that. Ah. And it gets like more and more complex into the nervous system and motor unit recruitment and all this stuff and if you don't respect the reality that psychological pains can manifest as physical pains. Your. Gonna have a really hard time treating that whole self right.
24:51.46	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah I watch people when I when I started getting hip to the emotional um emotional energy and whether it's being whether it's flowing or suppressing. Ah once I got hip to. Oh.
25:05.89	Max Shank	A.
25:11.11	mikebledsoe	Ah, like I had some emotional energy moved from my my pelvic region and like I really felt it move like it was a brick that moved out of my body all of a sudden I had flexibility in my hamstrings that flexibility in my hips. My back stopped stopped hurting ah and.
25:20.50	Max Shank	A.
25:29.81	mikebledsoe	And I really went down a deep rabbit hole with that and then I would walk into a gym and talking to people and they're having to they're wrapping themselves with bands and doing all sorts of crazy Mobes before they work out and you know I come to find out they have to do that.
25:40.29	Max Shank	Who.
25:47.75	mikebledsoe	Every single time before they squat I was like oh you can't just do like a simple five ten minute warm up and then squat without pain. It's like this is not a this is not because you're not wrapping yourself with enough bands. This is.
25:48.50	Max Shank	Ah.
26:02.50	Max Shank	Just need a few more bands I think it's just a couple more you're like 3 bands away.
26:06.26	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah, yeah, was like it's like wow you know, um and I remember bringing this up years ago when it was first dawning on me and you know having a popular podcast and talking about it. Publicly people are like mike's lost his fucking mind.
26:24.42	Max Shank	Yeah.
26:26.23	mikebledsoe	And I was like okay I think now I think it took me some time to learn how to explain it better. But I also think that generally our culture is has become more hit to these ideas as well. Not everybody but I would say.
26:41.16	Max Shank	Now some.
26:44.76	mikebledsoe	More I come across more people that that immediately agree with that I get less pushback than I used to.
26:50.19	Max Shank	Well, the purpose of pain is to get you back into safety. The the reason for pain is it's just an action signal but it's not specific. So if you feel a pain in your knee. That's not necessarily where. The problem is it's just saying do something different. That's all very nonspecific, but the purpose is is to protect you and protection and safety and security. Once again, they're all synonyms like we're all you know we're framing.
27:11.76	mikebledsoe	Um, yeah.
27:28.34	Max Shank	These fundamental realities of life as slightly different things. Hunger pain desire safety security. They're all very very similar so you have to I you don't have to but I I think it's helpful to recognize which are which are synonyms. So you can sort of start grouping them together and discover what the underlying sensation is right? and it's like we talked about a few episodes ago. Ah with the 3 levels of your brain you have to secure the lizard love the mammal so you can free the wizard which is the. Reptilian mamma alienlian and neocortex and if you are just living in a state of fight or flight which you can send yourself there just by watching the news. It's game over you'll just be constantly like I'm I'm afraid and you have no ability. To use your Neocortex. It's like an abused dog who just bites anyone that comes close.
28:35.76	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
28:36.67	Max Shank	Ah, it's ah it's It's a tricky thing I mean we're really emotional creatures but that's also our strength because we want to share um the bounty we want to share the load. We want to alleviate the suffering of our of our fellows. Um. You know Lizards don't really do that I'm not trying to like ah bad mouth Lizards or something like that I think Lizards are great creatures as Well. It's just a different strategy.
29:05.34	mikebledsoe	Yeah, you believe in the lizard people.
29:10.14	Max Shank	I Believe some people exhibit lizard-like characteristics. but but I also usually can see different traces of animals in people.
29:22.78	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
29:25.26	Max Shank	Like I'll see someone be like oh that person looks kind of giraffe-like or that person looks kind of bird-like you know what? I mean.
29:29.60	mikebledsoe	Ah, ah yeah, there's something about women who wear like pointing masks that like I see a woman with a pointing mask at the grocery store and I want to get I Just want to go? Ah, ah.
29:38.16	Max Shank	Ah, that's that's a bird.
29:47.73	Max Shank	Well I think in ah the U K they I think in the Uk they're called Birds ladies. Yeah, yeah, these birds were down at the pub that sounds right? doesn't it.
29:47.86	mikebledsoe	No woman wants to be called a bird I don't think what are women oh really? Ah well I well I know that. What was that tv show always sunny in Philadelphia they ah, they always called the woman in that show a bird and she hated it. D.
30:11.49	Max Shank	D yeah, yeah, she hate it. Yeah of course. Well, that's America it's different in ah in the u k you can also walk up to a guy on the street and say hey can I bum a fag and that's it's a totally normal thing to say. But if you said that here. People would find that offensive it means can I borrow can I borrow or have a cigarette That's what that means.
30:29.43	mikebledsoe	Yeah, or you might yeah exactly I'm glad you cleared that up that that might have eluded some people. Ah 1 of the things I the pain like having knee pain may not meet. Mean and it usually doesn't mean there's a problem with your knee it it means there's a problem somewhere else, but it is a sign to change Behavior. It says hey let's do something different. Um, 1 of the things that I I ah try to be.
30:54.36	Max Shank	Um, yeah action. Signal.
31:07.70	mikebledsoe	Because again, if you're in this game very long. You realize that any pain in your body probably isn't because of that thing Specifically it can be but the best way to be is is to be curious and to start asking like hey what should I be what have I been doing that might be contributing to this.
31:15.33	Max Shank	And.
31:26.55	mikebledsoe	All right? do experiments to try to change it. Ah because really it comes down to you're you're responsible for your own health and you know, Ah, ah someone else can help you figure some things out and start pointing in the right direction. But. It's really up to you at the end of the day to figure out what's actually going on with you.
31:48.13	Max Shank	That's ah, that's a super wise and powerful tool is curiosity I Even think the word curiosity is probably as close as you can get to a medicine for fear. Because Fear is also about the unknown rather than the known like you're afraid of what might happen to my story. Oh My God What if people hate me because once you know for sure that people will hate you. It's not really like a ah. You're not afraid of it Anymore. You're just like oh well,, That's what's going to happen Now. So Curiosity is also you don't know what's going on. So. It's also the unknown but it's just in a positive light. So you're bringing light to the unknown instead of.
32:25.70	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
32:43.26	Max Shank	Being stuck hiding from the darkness. So I think that that is probably if there's a big takeaway about Fear. It's that curiosity is the opposite it. It puts you right back into Neocortex it puts you right back into. Conscious takes you right out of compulsive fear spiral so fear and and curiosity. Um, you know you'll of course be afraid of things and really afraid of um. What may come to be right because you don't know exactly what it will be but curiosity same unknown but a totally different frame of reference. So that's that's huge I think of goals.
33:29.42	mikebledsoe	E.
33:40.20	Max Shank	And I think of action. So I always think of whenever I create a message of some kind I always start with what do I want who to do exactly. So.
33:54.40	mikebledsoe	Hey.
33:56.51	Max Shank	Who am I talking to and what exactly do I want them to do ah quite frankly, ah the time where I just write something so people read it is is long gone and it's not enough for me to get off my ass and do it's it just doesn't feel worth it. Which is exactly what I want to talk about now which is the pain to prospect ratio. It's an estimate that we make consciously or unconsciously about is the juice worth the squeeze and people.
34:27.53	mikebledsoe	E.
34:31.63	Max Shank	Especially with exercise are very bad at estimating they think oh it's it's just not worth it to do ah a ten minute exercise session or movement session because they're ah it's too much. Yeah, too much effort. Not enough payoff. Right? The pain is too great. The cost is too high. The benefit won't be high enough. So.
34:51.90	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah I don't think they realize the accumulatative effect people have a hard time projecting positivity in the future.
34:59.40	Max Shank	What? Well you have to be able to defer gratification because in the short term exercise makes you weaker. Ah it depends what you do I mean there's ah.
35:09.67	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah.
35:18.33	Max Shank	Like a curve right? If you do a little bit of exercise. It makes you much stronger that day. But if you do a lot. It makes you much weaker that day and it's probably you know like most things kind of Bell curvish. But you have to be able to see long-term and defer gratification till later just like. Investing just like working on a long project. Um, some people maybe write books in 1 day but that's probably not very many people. The reason more people don't is you have to string a lot of.
35:46.62	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
35:53.37	Max Shank	Writing sessions together and in my case, the hardest part for sure is editing writing is so easy editing is is way ah way tougher I think ah but in order to do anything you have to meet a catalyst.
35:57.67	mikebledsoe	Um, yeah, yeah.
36:13.30	Max Shank	In your pain to prospect ratio which so I have a pretty weird motivational technique which is I don't I don't I'm not a good cheerleader but I just kind of point out the obvious and say look you know you can do this. And if you don't it just means you don't think it's worth it yet. That's all that's okay, like if you write in your journal for fifteen minutes every morning for 2 weeks. It means that you're probably taking this um mental practice that we're trying seriously and then. At the end of those 2 weeks. We'll have an idea of whether or not this is ah giving you some benefit and what you've gotten out of it and here are some tools of course like um, fill in the blanks type of stuff can be really beneficial for help. Ah I call it ah mind mining.
37:08.60	mikebledsoe	A.
37:09.20	Max Shank	Like you're a minor with like a little pickaxe so you help people ah mind their minds and the reality is ah hunger is the motivator hunger pain desire all synonyms ambition same thing I didn't even really consider the fact. That I named my gym ambition athletics which is basically a synonym for desire athletics and is just so funny like thinking back into it and it is the desire to achieve something and you need to experience some sort of pain. With the status quo even if it seems like very love-based like I want to I I Love the I Love Children. So I Want to save the children. It's like yeah you want you feel pain right now that they are suffering. Basically so everything relates back. To whether or not the pain to prospect ratio prospect being like what you predict the outcome will be is sufficient of a catalyst for your action. That's true for basically everything.
38:17.60	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah I agree with that Always always calculating the um yeah tote.
38:28.48	Max Shank	Um, even unconsciously.
38:34.79	mikebledsoe	Probably mostly unconsciously.
38:36.90	Max Shank	Like oh I'm I'm uncomfortable. So I'm going to eat a donut. It's worth it. It's it's only 10 feet away that's 10 steps eat a donut that's well worth it. But the.
38:40.86	mikebledsoe	Exactly yeah. Yeah I don't I don't get this much anymore. But I've had people I'd be somewhere and they're like you want to eat this food and we go now and then it's usually somebody overweight who goes he goes. Oh you're you're 1 of those people that punish yourself with.
38:59.14	Max Shank	Yeah.
39:09.58	mikebledsoe	I'm like I go no I just I realized that if I eat this in an hour I'm gonna feel like shit and if I eat this repeatedly I'm gonna just my whole body's gonna feel like shit not in the five minutes while I'm eating it. But. Every other moment after that's worse so like it's just and it's funny. How like I just remember people trying to guilt me into joining them and making poor decisions that way. Yeah, yeah.
39:41.60	Max Shank	It's like drinking. It's like drinking drinking alcohol. The trick though is we.
39:46.35	mikebledsoe	Just have a beard just relax.
39:49.61	Max Shank	I Remember when I was in my early twenty s we used to show how tough we were by having a little competition to see who could drink the most poison.
39:59.38	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, yeah, you too? Yeah, but.
40:02.97	Max Shank	Ah, oh yeah, I was the toughest guy there was and then I was vomiting in the gutter where I then passed out So I mean have you ever like I think isn't there like a euphemism for you know my life was in the gutter I hit like rock. I've literally like woken up in a gutter before that's not a proud moment but the problem is yeah that means yeah I have good friends with you at least that's silver Lining. That's good.
40:23.99	mikebledsoe	No, no yeah I've I've been peeled off the sidewalk and carried home. Yeah I did I did they didn't leave me behind.
40:38.94	Max Shank	I would just wander off. Ah, um, the problem that most people have though is not only is there estimate of the effort required ah sort of fallacious and driven. By the law of least action which is we always want to preserve energy. But we also have no clue as to what all the variables are you know algebra and math is usually very clean like 2 x equals y plus four. You know, even that is like fairly cut and dry. But when you start thinking about all of the variables involved with whether you decide to exercise in the morning and tackle a writing project for the next sixty days. There are so many variables that you can't imagine. Another example is. Ah, investing like how do you choose what company to invest into and you know 1 of my absolutely closest friends for a really long time is really, he's like so sharp and we talk about investing and you know i. Kind of like to ah go with it and I talk about the ah fundamentals because that's all I know about businesses I don't study ah like business numbers and sales and all that stuff I just think about what? ah. Value is being provided essentially and I think about like the human aspect of it but in order to look through. Let's say even a thousand companies and pick your favorite 10 is so crazy. Because there are so many variables that you're not aware of so you take that level of complexity and you apply it to your own life. The difference in the like probability of how your day will go of starting with. You you know thirty minutes of exercise or thirty minutes of tiktok is pretty dramatic but you can't possibly know what you're going to experience in both of those situations right? So the variables get way too complicated to have. Ah.
42:59.75	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
43:06.86	Max Shank	Perfect prediction so you can't expect to be perfectly ready and that's why you know I I like ah Perfectionism is a sophisticated form of procrastination and so you'll. You'll try to get all the variables lined up but just the understanding that nobody ever gets all the variables lined up and usually the people who do the most things are the ones who go way before they're Ready. It's like they used to frustrate me a lot because.
43:40.16	mikebledsoe	M.
43:45.15	Max Shank	Ah, used to have you ever been envious. Anyone anyone out there. Envy is is really hard to not to not be envious, especially when you're young and you fancy yourself smart and you see.
43:50.58	mikebledsoe	Ah, oh yeah.
44:04.50	Max Shank	Very very successful. Successful people who you recognize as very very dumb at what they're doing and it's not a personal attack. It's just Wow people are are buying this line of B S. Are you kidding me like this is a. How is this guy so popular like and and it's because they just go go go way before they're ready and so there's ah, there's a balance there with the the craftsmanship of.
44:22.90	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
44:41.20	Max Shank	Refining that skill and there's also that advantage to being a little too ignorant to know that you're not ready and just going anyway. So finding finding that good balance is.
44:53.96	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
45:00.10	Max Shank	Is quite helpful and a lot of the stuff that I've done actually I went before before it was ready and it worked out really well.
45:08.44	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, I think that's 1 of the things that have helped me achieve the amount of success I have is I I was a little delusional when I was younger about how good I was gonna be at something i. Just didn't think about all the potential variables I Just go oh I had like this this faith that I would figure it out like oh yeah, I know what I'm doing and then I get into it and I realized that there was a million things I had no idea about that I now have to figure Out. Um. So I think a little bit of delusion early on was helpful that delusion is faded I now know that I don't know a bunch of shit. But 1 thing I've learned is that I have the ability to jump into a project and I'll figure it out I don't I don't care what it is.
46:01.87	Max Shank	Will you need that faith.
46:03.53	mikebledsoe	So as long as I want it if I want it I go you know what? I'll figure it out I mean my whole thing is is I will figure it out or I won't either way I've got to try and if I don't then I'll just move on to something else because there's the the micro in the macro.
46:15.95	Max Shank	Um, right.
46:22.10	Max Shank	Um, yeah.
46:23.47	mikebledsoe	Like oh I want to go up this 1 thing I go after I go Wow The cost of reaching that goal is actually not worth it to me anymore now that I'm now that I'm aware of all the variables and like you know what? I'm okay to walk away from this because I actually desire something else more that I'm willing to to sacrifice. Right now in order to get there. So It's ah that's really been beneficial for me and I do see a lot of people get caught up in that this like fear of they talk about fear of failure and there's a fear that ah they're not gonna get not get it right? I agree and that's.
46:58.37	Max Shank	It's fear of shame.
47:02.63	mikebledsoe	That's actually that was ah my biggest fear when I started in my business was I didn't want to look like I tried hard and then like like I either had to act like in the beginning I act like I I didn't care ah because if it didn't go well and I.
47:05.36	Max Shank	Um, yeah.
47:22.50	mikebledsoe	And I looked like I didn't care. It didn't mean anything about me. But if I yeah but if I try hard and I fail that means I'm dumb you know and and and for me like my my big 1 of my biggest fears was like being seen as as.
47:25.70	Max Shank	Isn't that funny totally or bad. Yeah.
47:41.67	mikebledsoe	Dumb because I deep downwn believe that I believe that I was dumb when I was a kid and so I had to overcome that so I had to prove to the world that I that I was smart I was trying to prove to myself that I could be smart and but yeah, 1 of my biggest fears was was looking dumb.
47:41.69	Max Shank	Um, same.
47:57.56	Max Shank	I feel that 1
48:00.78	mikebledsoe	And I didn't want to look like I tried hard. Um, but even then like you know, ah raising my prices in my gym to be at ah at the appropriate price was very difficult because I was afraid of what. People who I was going to charge that amount of money to were going to think of me for charging that I didn't want to be seen as greedy so I didn't want to be seen as dumb I didn't want to be seen as greedy. It's Funny. He's like oh I don't want to fail but I'm also don't want to be seen as a greedy person.
48:22.66	Max Shank	Right.
48:36.25	mikebledsoe	And then there's this box of like limitation around success that gets they gets built. It's like okay well I don't want to be seeing this greedy I don't want to fail and look dumb. It's like Wow What do you get? where do you go from there you there's very little to go from there.
48:38.98	Max Shank	Um, yeah.
48:52.40	Max Shank	There's no wiggle room whatsoever.
48:54.24	mikebledsoe	Yeah, and so there's these conditions that we put on our in place because of yeah that that perceived shame that people will shame us and then we'll feel guilty and ah yeah, yeah.
49:06.56	Max Shank	You'll feel less. You'll feel less than and it goes back to that same eat. It goes back to that same like your your story is tarnished it always comes back to that judgment shame and shame I've heard is the single most.
49:11.63	mikebledsoe	Loss.
49:15.65	mikebledsoe	Um, yeah.
49:24.18	Max Shank	Ah, powerful visceral emotion. There is which you would imagine that our evolution would select for that based on our dependence of cooperating together in groups you touched on something though which is like.
49:35.96	mikebledsoe	Right? right? definitely.
49:43.68	Max Shank	You just had to believe you just had to have faith that it would work and you need that because there's no guarantee that anything will work. You know, even someone? Um I I Really like to have all my ducks in a row. Ah before I start something. Try to limit the risk as much as possible but you can't take any action without having faith and I'm sure that's part of the reason that religion has sprouted so much is in order to have that. Forward thinking of like this is what the future could hold and understand that there are so many possibilities it can be an advantage to have faith that everything will go well or or perhaps that a um, a deity of some kind.
50:34.70	mikebledsoe	Ah.
50:41.56	Max Shank	Has ah a grander plan where it does all work out. Well I mean that's that's ah, quite an interesting way of assuaging those fears.
50:50.70	mikebledsoe	Well, ah, human, they they did a study and humans generally think that the future will be better than the present and that's that's another challenge to investing either. You know in. And exercise in health or investing money in something is because people believe that they're gonna make more money in the future. They're gonna they believe they generally believe things would just be Better. There's an um overall optimistic thing going on. Not for everybody. But for. Vast majority of people. They they do think things that they believe that things progress to be better in the future and which could be true I think it generally is true. But when yeah, it's very relative and.
51:41.72	Max Shank	Bet Better is super relative right.
51:46.49	mikebledsoe	People Um, a lot of times because they believe things are going to get better. No matter what they don't take action. They don't do what it takes for things to be better, especially and is where religion can get funny a lot of times because.
51:58.26	Max Shank	Right.
52:05.00	mikebledsoe	There's something outside of themselves that is going to save them. There's something outside of themselves that's going to make it better and a ah lot of people I think get caught up in that belief structure and then just fall into inaction.
52:20.52	Max Shank	A.
52:21.86	mikebledsoe	Or don't see the role that they're going to play in creating that future.
52:25.61	Max Shank	Yeah, sometimes I get caught in exactly the opposite which is I predict all of the horrible stuff I predict based on ah all of the horrible stuff I've been made aware of and I just assume that ah me doing.
52:30.96	mikebledsoe	And he.
52:44.22	Max Shank	Anything will be like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon and it won't really make a difference Anyway, I'm like hey everybody it's ah time for your morning Mobility Exercises Meanwhile there's like you know all kinds of lobbying going on and all of the you know.
52:49.39	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah.
53:03.40	Max Shank	Whatever you know I don't want to get too far down that road. But I think ah safe to say that we do a lot of stuff exactly the worst way possible in our current setup of organizing large groups of people so thinking that what you do will have some sort of. Benefit that is meaningful to you so that belief that faith has to um, be the catalyst for any action and that's that pain to prospect ratio.
53:33.10	mikebledsoe	Yeah I feel good with this anything else. You want to add.
53:39.82	Max Shank	Ah, so we talked about ah goals and fears primarily and then we talked a little bit about sticks and stones which was pretty fun in the beginning I think with regard to fear. It's important to understand that it's just your attached to your story and all of the um, the most wise stuff that I've read from throughout the Millennia of people trying to feel more at peace in their. Selves and hearts is about ah connection without attachment which is such a trite thing to say it seems so simple right? But it's actually extremely difficult to connect with everything around you without getting too attached and latched onto it. And so fear man we didn't even talk about ah like feeling physically safe and you know like having ah some food and some marshall capabilities. But yeah, if you can accept. The impermanence of your story. You won't be enslaved by the fear of tarnishing that story like the shame or the failures I mean I really like the phrase The only failure is to not try at all.
55:12.41	mikebledsoe	You know? ah.
55:15.40	Max Shank	Because you can I think you probably would agree that part of your success just like for mine is just that I simply tried lots of things and I you don't know which ones are going to work and I Also. Didn't get stuck in the sunk cost fallacy where you keep pouring more energy into something just because you've already poured a lot into it. You know it's It's good. You you stop doing that thing and you try something else. So It's good to try lots of things because you don't know just like investing.
55:38.78	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah.
55:50.38	Max Shank	Ah, Diversification. You don't know which 1 Ne's going to be awesome. But if you have 10 that have a really good chance of being awesome then hey that's pretty good I mean I'm not I can't predict the future. So yeah, there's that which is. You have to accept the impermanence of the story and then everything else is sort of a domino effect after that and.
56:13.89	mikebledsoe	I Like the impermanence of this story because after you die your story is I mean it. It contributes to the cultural story and gets passed down anceually. But.
56:26.26	Max Shank	Right.
56:31.15	mikebledsoe	No stories are ever told accurately. So just the the knowledge the knowledge that your story is going to be skewed no matter what? ah to me brings a lot of levity because I know that other people are going to write my story about me.
56:33.33	Max Shank	Now.
56:50.43	mikebledsoe	From their perspective. However, they want It's none of my none of my business really and once I stop making my business and how other people are gonna interpret my story. The easier got to just live out my own life The way I want to live it and yeah like this weekend I had my.
56:51.63	Max Shank	Um, right? yeah.
57:09.88	mikebledsoe	My birthday my birthday party and people were telling me all sorts of amazing things about me but that's not even the story I would tell about myself and and so it's It's a good demonstration of yeah that I think that this.
57:18.44	Max Shank	Yeah, of course, not.
57:29.61	mikebledsoe	The story we're telling about ourselves is is greater than what we think other people might tell a story about us.
57:37.92	Max Shank	Yeah, and subconsciously your self-image is going to guide your behaviors. Maybe even more than you're conscious. So if like subconsciously you think you're dumb and lazy. No amount of like trying to grit through it is actually going to.
57:56.47	mikebledsoe	Your yeah your behaviors may change it create a difference in your life. But that story is going to remain the same.
57:56.84	Max Shank	Help you do that So you have to.
58:03.14	Max Shank	Right? So that's why I think at least for me what makes the um, most sense is to not be too attached to any story because I think you you mostly just are what you do and the more attached I am to a certain thing. The.
58:12.34	mikebledsoe	On there.
58:22.31	Max Shank	The less the flow of energy is through me as like a conduit and so with regard to fear you are accepting your physical death and your the death of your story and and also the fact that your story could be.
58:24.43	mikebledsoe	Move. Ah.
58:41.11	Max Shank	Completely tarnished I mean Oedipus did a lot of great things. But no 1 remembers What those things are because he killed his dad and fucked his mom and that's all we know about oedipus right. So with like if you let go of the story thing then you won't fear Shame. You won't fear Judgment. It's like a top-down type of effect if you accept the impermanence and then with regard to goals. It allows you to seek goals outside of your um, extrinsic judgment of those things like a lot of people become doctors and lawyers not because they want to. Be a doctor or a lawyer just because it's ah it's an esteemed position. It's a position of power and wealth. They don't really want that they just want to be seen as Good. So if you can get your self out of the way you'll be able to choose a goal.
59:41.50	mikebledsoe	Right.
59:46.57	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
59:57.46	Max Shank	That is more conducive to what you really feel and I may have even mentioned this in a show before I'm sure I have but ah simon sinek has his it starts with why and that's good and james clear has his habit formation about. Starts with who like you choose your identity and then everything comes from there which is also good. It's kind of in line with the psycho cybernetics idea and then I just think about what I would want to have done if I could get no credit. If I had to be totally anonymous and that seems to be the truest ah goals that I have it takes into consideration. What my strengths and weaknesses are and it takes the um it takes the ego kind of out of the. Out of the equation a little bit and it helps me get more aligned to what I actually think is important versus what is just another ah power play like ah people will people will love me more and then my story will be vast and then I will have a.
01:01:04.15	mikebledsoe	Sir.
01:01:13.27	Max Shank	Gigantic tombstone. No I'll have a mausoleum that's when the ego goes beyond your physical life like the last thing I fucking want is gigantic mausoleum. It's so ridiculous. Um, hey I'm you know, no offense to the people with.
01:01:32.17	mikebledsoe	Mauselums.
01:01:32.39	Max Shank	Mausoleums and stuff like that. It's just it's just not for me. Ah, So there's the relating to fears relating to goals or perhaps a mission very valuable to get other people who feel the same way and then the last thing is just your. Physical safety which is your health your defensive power and um financial health to I would say you have like safety nets. It's like a health physical health physical mental Health Safety net. Ah, social safety net and then financial safety net and.
01:02:13.98	mikebledsoe	Was the 3 categories of personal development is health wealth and relationships was it. Those are that yeah those are the 3 things that people need to master in order to to live a good life.
01:02:22.27	Max Shank	That's right, pretty much everything is those.
01:02:33.50	mikebledsoe	You know I think what we call a good life in this in our current society and those are 3 topics that are not taught in our education system.
01:02:34.18	Max Shank	Oh.
01:02:41.25	Max Shank	Yeah, the only important things are not taught that's kind of relate. that's that's 1 of the things that makes me feel like I'm trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon sometimes is I'm like man 12 years we don't even teach the important stuff. It's out of control. But yeah, you're right.
01:02:50.51	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:03:01.13	Max Shank	You're right? It's those 3 things and combine that with the acceptance of the impermanence and you'll probably live your fullest life I know like live your best life is like a ah hilarious Hashtag ah, but yeah. But I think that's pretty good. Pretty good way to be there's there's no question reality about having financial. Well-being physical. Well-being and then social wellbeing.
01:03:21.78	mikebledsoe	I like it. Yeah.
01:03:37.78	Max Shank	I mean I feel super fortunate that over the past. However long this whole ah business has been going on that I've had close friends and um, plenty of Reserve capital and I live in a place where there's lots of sunshine and I. Went into it very physically healthy and if you're missing 1 or all of those you're going to have a bad time.
01:04:06.15	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this ah this show to me I'm gonna have my students listen to it because this has ah been packed with a lot of really useful Information. So The the 1 thing I Want to remind everybody is is. Thing that's made the biggest difference for me is learning to be to love and accept those feelings which I tend to avoid and from there a lot of other wisdom has come online for me and ways to live just because of that 1 1 thing That's ah once you get to that point it opens up channels of information which you didn't have access to before.
01:04:56.97	Max Shank	That's so good because it also opens the door to being compassionate for other people and it also it also closes the door of being envious of other people because you don't know what's going on on the inside right.
01:05:00.49	mikebledsoe	It does.
01:05:07.56	mikebledsoe	In here.
01:05:11.29	Max Shank	We we like to envy like Cherry we like to do cherry pick envy we we like to envy the rock's body you know dwayne the rock johnson that guy but we don't envy like his.
01:05:22.97	mikebledsoe	Yeah.
01:05:29.14	Max Shank	Daily routine. Probably we don't envy the fact that I mean who knows what his home life was like but yeah I think if you can love and accept yourself and then still um, you know, not.
01:05:29.30	mikebledsoe	No.
01:05:43.23	Max Shank	Not feel shame for feeling those emotions but just get curious about them like you sagely pointed out earlier. It really will open the door for a a love-based change of self-image. Rather than a shame-based change of self-image and like I said it also makes you more compassionate and less Envious. So I think y'all I would like to re-listen to this 1 a couple times myself because a lot of things that you and I just say in the flow. Ah, are it makes me want to start jotting down notes and I think.
01:06:21.10	mikebledsoe	Ah, yeah, I'm um like I added a couple things that I need to write about from this conversation.
01:06:27.00	Max Shank	Um, well make sure you share those with me I was thinking that part of the reason these conversations are going so well. What is this the ninth episode or something I think ah.
01:06:36.71	mikebledsoe	Number nine. Yeah.
01:06:42.86	Max Shank	Ah, 1 of the reason it goes so well is you and I have zero consideration for who said it. We only care that it gets said so we're trying to make the like the result of it. Good. And like I don't care if it was like you said the thing or I said the thing so it's a very um, unencumbered melding of. The experiences that we've had which are unique and then also the experiences we've been exposed to secondhand which is like the reading and the learning from others and I think that's that's what makes a body of work. Great is when you get the.
01:07:32.20	mikebledsoe	Agreed agreed well brother where can people find you he that he forgot he forgot.
01:07:32.33	Max Shank	Junk out of the way. Yeah man.
01:07:42.50	Max Shank	Maxshank Dot Com at Ma shank. Well I was just thinking. Yeah I I was just thinking I'm actually pretty hard to find like physically but on the internet I'm the easiest to find ever if you Google me I'm all over the place.
01:07:47.54	mikebledsoe	Air.
01:07:54.17	mikebledsoe	Yeah, yeah, same ah hit up at mike blood. So mike underscore bloods on Instagram and the strongcoach dot com if you're a coach and want to do some cool shit all right? Thanks for joining us today.
01:08:12.32	Max Shank	Love you brother take care.
01:08:12.97	mikebledsoe	And you max Love you.