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The Bledsoe Show

The show formerly known as "Bledsopia" On this podcast, you’ll learn from thought leaders who are dedicating their lives to being a positive force for your physical, psycho-emotional and spiritual health. Your host, Mike Bledsoe, seeker of truth & perpetual student, spotlights premier thought leaders in the fields of emotional & intellectual expansion, behavior change, sexuality & alternative medicine that empower you with the tools and inspiration to transform your mind, body, & spirit. Every week, this is your opportunity to get downloads from exceptional people that will guide you to the connections between your own source, to live your best life & enjoy the process.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Feb 14, 2022

00:00.00

mikebledsoe

Welcome to Monday morning with Mike and max and today we're gonna be talking about high leverage habits and addictive actions and one of the things that inspired this conversation is I got to work with a friend over the weekend to help improve his mental and physical health and I realized. Man lifestyle is really the problem here and we had to do the work to figure out what was gonna be the most high leverage habits that he could instill that was gonna move the needle and that's how I like to work with all of my clients. That's how I like to look at my own life. So I'm excited that that. Talk about this with max because um, he you're also somebody who you've done a good job of instilling habits over time and and I find that we just lifestyle is not something that you just do all at once. It's. You implement 1 thing one month in the next month maybe you add a little something else change something here and there and you've done a really good job of stacking your habits in a really positive way.

01:07.16

Max Shank

Well thank you for that I I really appreciate that I think one of the smartest things I ever did was actually 1 of the easiest projects I've ever done which was 5 minute flow and really what it did is it gave people permission to. Start with less and when you start with something smaller. It feels a lot more manageable and getting people out of the idea that you have to do an hour workout for it to count is really big just the same way that lao -tzu says the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ah same kind of thing. However I I would as a counterpoint say that one of the most interesting things about human beings is that we can radically change our lives when we adopt.

01:49.91

mikebledsoe

O.

02:02.20

Max Shank

A new self-image or if we adopt a new mission or a new role and just to introduce the key point which is motivation and a lot of synonyms for motivation are hunger and pain. So There's a fire that is fueling that behavior change and if you don't want to Change. You can't Change. You know they talk about that in like those interventions like you have to be ready to change like you have to want to change yourself. So I think that? um yes, tiny. Tiny tiny bets are much more manageable generally speaking. But when you have a really clear mission or purpose or Motivation Hunger pain. Whatever you're capable of radical transformations. Especially as it relates to. Transformation of your self-image and your selfimage is going to guide your subconscious action because it's really hard to be acutely conscious all the time and I think you know it is sort of like.

03:14.94

mikebledsoe

In.

03:19.71

Max Shank

Want to say in Buddhism or maybe hinduism I can't remember it's 1 of the isms. Maybe it's in b here now Ram Das talks about like it's like a fish jumping out of the water and that's your moment of consciousness and then you go back into the. The see of the unconscious so selfimage if you change your selfimage your role your mission. You can have a radical change across the board. Otherwise it is way more manageable to have. Ah. Little changes and everything you do is basically a bet that it will be better than doing nothing.

04:00.17

mikebledsoe

Yeah I like that I like that frame I I like to tell people that I they asked me what I believe and I like to try on beliefs oh I believe if I do this then my life will improve in this way. So I try it out. Check in a couple weeks later and if it's true then I go oh okay I'll keep this belief until you know something better comes along what I you know just have touch on a few points that came up that I want to that you you were making is just the idea being. Focused on the process versus the result and I think for when I look at my history and I look at the times in which I actually made slower progress was when I was not present with the process I didn't actually. I I wanted the results really bad but I was unwilling to be with what it was going to take to get there and so I just did a bunch of stuff that I didn't slow down I only did the stuff that was on the surface to try to get there and you know in athletics it results in injury. Um. And business it. It may result in being able to make a bunch of money but then don't know how to keep it going. Um there's there's all these all these things that I've learned that becoming more present with the process really is a practice and being. And practicing being with the process so spending 5 % of my time on the vision of what I want to be different in the future and 95% of my attention going into into just the execution of the thing and learning to enjoy the process of doing it because. This is where the a lot of people get stuck is they have conditional happiness they say I won't I can't be happy until I achieve this result and so what they do is they basically punish themselves until the result they want is true and that doesn't help you achieve.

05:58.63

Max Shank

A.

06:14.36

mikebledsoe

Result at all. In fact, that it probably diminishes your ability to get there and so one of the things I've really been working towards is practicing being in the process and and one of the things that has really been highlighted as I've taken on that practice is that. So much of the process when I'm doing I'm doing you know the same things I've been doing for 20 years which is taking care of my health building my business that these are not being in a relationship with a woman. These are all things that I have been continually striving to improve. And the more that I've gotten involved in the process of how I'm actually gonna move towards this this result that is really a moving target at times is to to when I'm more present with the process I actually understand what it takes to get there and I think. That most people and for myself I really didn't want to hear what it was going to take to get there and I think sometimes if we knew everything it was going to take to get the result we want. We wouldn't do it but we like I hear from entrepreneurs all the time you know if I knew what it was going to take to be successful. Um, would have never started. But once you get into it. You can't stop. It. So really as I've gotten older getting really ah present to what actually has to happen and being okay when something new pops Up. It's like okay.

07:32.67

Max Shank

Third.

07:49.92

mikebledsoe

I think I think I know what steps 1 through 10 are but after I complete step 2 I realized that there's 5 steps between 2 and 3 oh this is going to take longer than I thought and if you're if you're present with the process you look at that when that appears you go? Oh okay.

07:58.54

Max Shank

Oh.

08:07.85

mikebledsoe

And I think just knowing that that's going to happen. Always. It's always going to Happen. You never know what the step is what the next step is going to be until you take the next step and then the next step reveals reveals itself now if it's something you have a lot of practice with things become more predictable. But when you don't know much about what it is that you're doing then it's not predictable and and so it's ah it's actually been really enjoyable to step into something and go Oh I think I know what I need to do here and it actually works and I go oh that was predictable I. Actually know what I'm doing in regard to this thing right now. But I'm also open at any moment for something new to pop up to say oh this is the next obvious Step. You should be taking don't don't do this yet. Do this.

08:53.93

Max Shank

Um, yo I agree with some of what you said a great majority of it in fact and I have some comments ah number one. So it's gonna be.

09:07.20

mikebledsoe

Perfect.

09:13.18

Max Shank

Ah, greed craftsmanship discount tire and entrepreneurial tenure and I'm going to explain how those all go together. So the first one is greed you want the result but you're not willing to pay the price and that's what hurts you athletically. That's what hurts you entrepreneurially and I think that a lot of a lot of problems people cause for themselves stem from greed and it's usually based on comparison with someone else. So then you end up doing things. You don't really love the process of doing. Just to get this result that won't ultimately satisfy you anyway. So we have greed the second one is craftsmanship so craftsmanship is what where greatness really comes from. You certainly need a desire you need like a. A role where you're like okay my my role is I make clay pots for example and you just focus everything you can do into making the best clay pot there is or like Jiro dreams of sushi. You just focus on making the best sushi boom suddenly you're like the only. You know 5 diamond or whatever the heck rated sushi restaurant on the planet and the the idea of retiring is painful to him. He's like why would I retire this is this is my identity. This is my role. This is my self image. This is just what I do. He's not doing it to try to get somewhere else. He's like I do this. You have grade you have craftsmanship you have discount tire and the reason I say discount tire is as I understand it, you cannot jump into the company like leapfrog your way into a high standing position. You have to work your way up from the bottom. So you have to understand the process from the very bottom all the way up. So everybody they promote has been on the floor they they may have you know changed a few tires. They may have made a few sales. They understand the process of how everything works. And I think the intimate knowledge of the process really makes it a lot better and then the last one is ah entrepreneurial tenure and and tenure is like the worst idea ever because it's just another example of how desperate we are to secure the future. And I understand the desire we do it with relationships like we get married so we can securitize our relationship in the future. We have social security so we can securitize the future. We even call stocks securities because we're trying to secure our wealth for the future.

11:55.30

mikebledsoe

Um.

12:03.60

Max Shank

And the same thing is true for the entrepreneurs you're trying to quickly get some sort of security like I got to make 5000000 I got to make ten million I got to get whatever and then I'll be happy like you are saying. It's very conditional when I achieve this when I achieve this result. Then I will be happy and it's like dude the people who do stuff like that they will come up with a new target. Maybe before they even hit the first one like it's not going to be a lasting like ah I am now swimming in an ocean of nirvana.

12:34.47

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

12:42.91

Max Shank

Now that I have made $5000000 yes, no, you're going to look at bigger houses and bigger boats and you're going to have different goals and it's it's hardly going to be a pit stop on the road trip of your entrepreneurial life. So we're trying to like lock in. That success but like you said it takes us away from the process. So I think those are definitely things that you want to consider and it does relate back to the identity. You know James clear. That's his like main angle with habits my main takeaway. Ah, from his work is that it ends psycho cybernetics same thing. It's all about your identity and self-image and what role you are actively choosing like I am this therefore I do this and once you get clear on that everything is. Pretty much derivative of that it doesn't become about greed for a specific result. It doesn't become about like securing securing the future in some way and I think that's a really good way of looking at it so you need the desire but also the. The desire to embody the identity or the character.

13:59.40

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and and you've got to know who that character is I mean when we think about identity. There's you know there's there's archetypes you could if you're an entrepreneur you could say have the identity of a Ceo and what that.

14:16.32

Max Shank

I'm the fool.

14:19.28

mikebledsoe

What that what? that means what that means to you is maybe different than what it means to somebody else and so if you're going to take on the identity of something which I've done before but didn't actually know what it meant and then you get around people who were performing so you want to be a Ceo you want to get around other ceos. Performing at the level that you want to perform and that's how you understand oh this is how this type of if I'm embodying this archetype if I'm embodying this identity. This is how these people think this is how they behave these are these are the things they do. And these are the things they don't do so I'm in agreement like that that identity is likely the quickest way to be able to create new habits because it's such a core piece of it's it's who we are and so if. I am running my company and I go you know what? I'm ah I a hundred million dollar company Ceo and someone comes to me with a problem or somebody's slacking at work. Well what does a hundred million dollar Ceo do well he probably fires that person and then brings in somebody else who's who can do it or whatever it is. But. A lot of people they they're not holding that identity they may they may shrink in that that situation and and then may go you know maybe I don't want to have that identity. It. It requires ah myself to do things that I don't like or it's not me and. And that's the absolute truth if you're trying to take on an identity and you go I'm not like that. It's like that's why you're not that person you have to be like that person. So I I think identity spot on. That's that's the quickest way to to creating a lifestyle life. That's good. And then or that you want if it's good. You could take on thedent identity of a criminal but then there's purpose. You know you're that's right, you got the why you know it's it's the reminder There's there's so many hard days for me. There's.

16:15.27

Max Shank

Got to hang out with a bunch of evil people.

16:28.98

mikebledsoe

There's days where I don't feel like you know, taking care of my health or days that I I may not want to work when when my people need me to do it. But I have deep? Yeah, ah.

16:39.40

Max Shank

Um, what fraud he's a fraud you're not on all the time fraud I'm calling it. Ah.

16:46.76

mikebledsoe

Ah, and and yeah, yeah, sorry sorry to break the rain on your parade there max? Yeah, and I think the the.

16:49.87

Max Shank

But I thought you had to be on all the time to be successful was I wrong about that first. My bubble. Ah.

17:05.73

mikebledsoe

The deeper Why the purpose is the thing that that does get you through those moments of doubt you know I had doubt over the weekend I had ah there's a mixture of things that all happened at the same time and and I'm like why am I doubting myself and then I realize oh well I had these 3 different events. Each one of them by themselves probably wouldn't bother me that much but because there's a combination of these things happening at the same time you know I I have ah a day where you know, kind of freak out man and then wake up the next morning then laugh at myself for being so ridiculous. But. What helped me keep it together is knowing my why you know it's it. It. It helped it helped me through that hard time doesn't mean I was performing at my best in that moment. But I definitely I was able to to stand help myself in that way.

18:00.92

Max Shank

I can't remember who said it but it was a man with a strong enough. Why can bear almost anyhow was that vi frankl or yeah I I feel like someone else said it like young or something too might have been like Carl young.

18:08.51

mikebledsoe

Um, think that was victor frankel. Yeah yeah.

18:18.29

mikebledsoe

He might have gotten it from him who knows.

18:20.14

Max Shank

But um, yeah, maybe but it's like you have the why and you have the who so that's that's like my little joke Simon Sene has it starts with why and James clear is like it starts with who and so you said it rightly so you got to be so.

18:27.75

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

18:39.73

Max Shank

Selective with who you associate with because it's the 5 monkey rule you become most like the 5 people that you spend most time with and there's ah you know concentrations to it if you spend like 99% of your time with 1 person you're going to.

18:40.86

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah.

18:58.20

Max Shank

Have a lot of feedback and become most like that person so you have to be very selective in who your friends are and who you choose as a mentor also and a person doesn't even have to necessarily mentor you um, personally. It's just if you are trying to mimic them in some way. So if they are the role model man you got to be so careful and you have to know like what it's actually like for them and if it really matches your personality type if that's what you really want like I think a lot of us Chase. Ah. You know, false ideas of better because that's the only reason we do anything is we think it'll be better if we do it than if we do nothing but I think a lot of people get caught. Um I think it's called worshiping false idols right.

19:50.94

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah I Um, you know there's been people who I have become enamored with that. They're older and I go oh I want to be more like that person and then I get to know them better I get close to them and I realize that oh they. Really healthy. But holy shit. They're poor as fuck like they totally terrible with money and business and and all this and then I meet someone who's really good at business I'm like okay and then I realize that you know they spend all their time in analysis in front of their computer and I go Well I don't want that either.

20:16.65

Max Shank

Um, yeah.

20:29.50

Max Shank

Ah, they're on their fifth. The ex-wife or something like that. It's.

20:29.89

mikebledsoe

So You know there's ah yeah, that too. Yeah and so I go you know you got to be careful about who you choose to to emulate and I. You know sometimes I hang out with someone who's really wealthy and you know I just pick some stuff up and for me, it's I don't think there's ever been one person I'm like I I want to take on the identity ah similar identity to that person. It's more of. You know I'm gonna take this piece from this guy and this piece from this other guy and this piece from this other guy and and I'm gonna do my best to be me while while leveraging you know what I can learn from those people. But yeah I mean if you if you really hung out with a wealthy person.

21:03.91

Max Shank

Her.

21:17.66

mikebledsoe

Someone who's great at relationships and someone else who's really healthy and maybe you you split it up in a thirds. You'd probably figure out how to do all of those better than the average person which I think is what most people were going for So I want to move into I want to move into.

21:22.50

Max Shank

So.

21:32.00

Max Shank

Yeah.

21:36.40

mikebledsoe

What do you think I have my idea I'm curious what you think is the highest leverage part of your life to improve first. So what I'd like to do is for us to move through a list max and I going to and discuss what. Habits or what what part of our lifestyles. Ah we should maximize first before moving on to the next one because we really want to get to a place where we're maximizing every aspect of our life.

22:07.44

Max Shank

For me, it would have to be preparing for our podcast topics instead of being ambushed by you with this list that we're gonna make up right now.

22:16.15

mikebledsoe

Um, pretty sure I told you right before we hit record he doesn't remember folks. He's got poor memory I'll send you some new troics That's not true.

22:23.90

Max Shank

Ah don't say that that's not true. It's like a steel trap. Ah so check it out every every type of self-help which is a. Ah, pretty big category of books is based on the same thing its personal responsibility. It doesn't matter if it's ekhart tolly or David Goggins and what's fascinating to me is those guys. Both have a lot of fans. Who are saying like yeah eckhart, you're the man. My man you help me out and other people are like dude David Goggins gave me gave put a little fight in me and I'm just laughing to myself because of how monumentally different the advice is.

23:17.10

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah.

23:19.16

Max Shank

You know the difference between ah there there are no problems. There are only situations and I let them pass through me and you got to conquer your inner Butch bitch and run like ah ten miles a day or whatever. Um. And I know there's more to both of them than that I'm super generalizing but the fact is they both are dependent on personal responsibility and the worst thing you can do is. Assume the identity of a victim of circumstance versus an author or an authoritarian of your own life and take personal responsibility for the good and the bad and everything in between I mean ah if you don't. Take personal responsibility if you don't put yourself into the role of like the creator of your life. Um, basically you're screwed. So I think that's the number one most important thing and that's a psychological foundation that basically every.

24:25.89

mikebledsoe

Come.

24:31.21

Max Shank

Ah self-help has in common from the tollies to the goggins and the Jockcos It's all taking responsibility for your own life.

24:38.13

mikebledsoe

yeah yeah I agree that from a psychological perspective. That's the number 1 thing. Um, you know there's personal responsibility and then I think after that comes self-esteem and self-esteem. House people then create boundaries for themselves and other people. But yeah I think it does all start with personal responsibility and and getting out of that that victim identity. So we have spot on I this is what I love about Ah. Maybe not prepping so much for this because I was thinking more about habits and I love that you said that but I was thinking about all right? So we got personal responsibility on the list and I'm also thinking about daily habits the the most critical thing that I've recognized is. Are you getting good rest are you getting good sleep and to me I think that you know we we put the psychological side apart and we go to lifestyle habits that getting enough sleep is.

25:40.40

Max Shank

Ah.

25:54.90

mikebledsoe

If you're if you're not getting that. There's really not much else. You can do like you could do so many other things right? But if you're not getting good sleep. It's just not going to matter.

26:07.16

Max Shank

I Would agree with that I would also say that it's interesting both personally and anecdotally that if you have more drive toward a specific goal if you're more enthusiastic. If you're more expressive and less depressed people need a little bit less sleep and they do sleep a little bit less but getting inadequate sleep. Whatever that number is for an extended period of time. Ah I mean you're like killing your brain essentially and that's what's going to. Be responsible for a lot of that higher order thinking. So I would agree hydration sleep nutrition Those are those are kind of foundational physiological things that um, they they deserve to be right in there right? After. Ah, personal responsibility and self-image or self-esteem because those are very similar.

27:06.10

mikebledsoe

Yeah, the ah the deerration of sleep and the quality of sleep being different. You know I think it's widely known between six and a half and 8 hours of sleep is about the the right target and everybody's different by the way. Um, but I think. I know for myself when I'm in a high high motivation state which means that I'm waking up at the same time you know ready to go I'm doing my morning routine which involves exercise and because I'm on purpose I end up expending way more energy that day than somebody who's not.

27:42.61

Max Shank

The.

27:43.39

mikebledsoe

Somebody is spending their day distracting themselves on Instagram or watching Tv or or whatever it is that person's going to end their day with.

27:48.93

Max Shank

I.

27:57.17

mikebledsoe

Without having expended all their their energy and then they're gonna want to you know continue watching Tv and continue being distracted and that person's just not gonna get high quality sleep so they may need to make it up in quantity and of course when you wake up and you don't feel good about what you want to do. There's nothing getting you out of bed because bed is fucking comfortable I like laying around on bed on some days. So um, yeah, it it all does work together because if we're looking at sleep. We go well, you know if you're eating poorly that's going to disrupt your sleep if. You're not exercising that's going to disrupt your sleep. Um, and I think that sleep is you know if you're getting six and a half to seven and a half hours of sleep and you wake up fired up and ready to go and you're tired tired and satisfied at the end of the day with with your work then you're gonna the sleep is indicative of. That you have other habits in order. So there's a few things that are going to impact the sleep which is temperature of the room is it dark did you stop looking at screens for 2 to 3 hours before you attempted to go to sleep. These are all. Unquote sleep hygiene or or making sure you have enough magnesium in in your diet if. You don't have it have magnesium. It's hard to down regulategulate. So these are all things that are directly related to sleep. But again you know if you're not exercising and you're not eating well, that's also going to impact it so I like it as.

29:25.59

Max Shank

Most of that stuff's a feedback loop right.

29:28.87

mikebledsoe

As a marker. Yeah, it's all feedback loop all of it. But um I think I think quality of sleep is a really good. You can check in with that and if something's off then then there then you can start looking at other places.

29:31.52

Max Shank

Yeah, yeah.

29:45.77

mikebledsoe

There was a Chinese medicine. Do I used to see in in snitas and he would ask me. You know?? Ah basically are you dreaming? Do you wake up with boners and what's your shit like and those are like the 3 things and I go. Ah yeah, you know what. As a man as you know women don't have boners. Ah,, there's ah as a lady bones. Yeah, as ah as a man if one of those things are off if you're not having dreams. You're not remembering your dreams. It probably means that your sleep architecture is messed up in some Way. Um.

30:09.28

Max Shank

They have lady boners.

30:24.51

mikebledsoe

Which is fucking up your hormones which isn't going to allow you to wake up with boners and and and then obviously how you're shitting is is how you're primarily. Well let's say it makes up of how you're eating and what kind of stress you're enduring because if you emotional stress being held in the gut will fuck up your digestion. Even if you eat really? Well So Ah these things all again, a lot of that will manifest in basically sheep you look at your sleep and your defecation habit.

30:55.33

Max Shank

Yeah, it's kind of like we have neurological housekeeping which is identity self-image personal responsibility and then we have physiological housekeeping which is promoting good sleep. Maybe you have an alarm. In the evenings that reminds you to turn the screens off. Maybe you take a magnesium supplement I mean really even if your routine is total bullshit. It might be better to have one because you're intellectually and psychologically putting energy into the quality of your sleep. You're like okay I have this routine where i. You know I'd swish coconut oil in my mouth and um, you know do eye exercises and massage my hands and feet and do a little stretch like even if it's not a very good routine just having that um psychological investment into it. Can be beneficial and that's like the ah the whole idea is that physiological housekeeping like are you getting enough water are you getting enough nutrients from your food. Are you getting enough exercise and it doesn't have to be any fancy exercise. And then what you said are you know, sort of the markers for how that's going. Ah check the poo. Do you have a boner every morning and are you dreaming and that's really interesting so we have the psychological housekeeping we have physiological housekeeping and then I think from there I would start looking at actual skills I don't know if that makes sense for you. But if we're trying to go for high leverage then really the 2 skills are. Language and movement and language is no question the most high leverage skill There is um I mean mathematics is a language in and of itself sales. And marketing are certainly language-based ah flirting wooing ah dating. That's mostly language-based There's a little bit of physical-based stuff too. So then you know you have language on the one side you have physical skills on the other side which would be like fighting. Ah, moving around with ease I think it's smart to get good at giving massages personally I think that's a really high leverage skill like if you can do ah a 5 minute shoulder foot rub and do it really? well.

33:41.50

Max Shank

My god like whatever partner you have is going to feel so loved and so lucky and you know there are love languages and shit like that. But man if you have word skills and physical skills. Ah, that's super high leverage and and really those are the skills. Worth cultivating so from a language standpoint I would say ah probably sales and storytelling is the highest 1 and then also planning and delegating right after that as far as like the high leverage. Language skills are concerned.

34:17.48

mikebledsoe

Yeah there's um, there's a book called um, your like the last safe investment and the idea is the the safest investment you can make is in yourself and that. The premise in the book is that you want to make yourself as valuable to other people as much as possible in order to enhance your ability to make money because that's the people who make the most money have figured out how to position themselves in a very high value position. So the way. That they break it down is the low value skills. There's 4 different quadrants 4 different pillars or 4 different categories of skill one being physical labor number 2 being technical labor 3 creative labor 4 interpersonal labor. So. Each one is more valuable generally speaking than the other so physical labor is you know, gardening building houses plumbing electrical. Ah this is but it's also professional athletes. So the 1% of physical labor talent plays basketball. But you know that's as a very rare ah physical labor. Yeah, you get? we get. That's an interesting take on that because yeah, the artists are really left out of this whole thing. Ah if you think it sports performance.

35:37.36

Max Shank

I Think that's a I think that's a performer.

35:49.70

Max Shank

Ah.

35:53.59

mikebledsoe

Art performance. Ah all right? but outside of that and then you have technical labor these are accountants people who are you know, just man I don't even know what else fits in that category. But there's a lot of technical labor out there that is. Mostly these days being outsourced to India by the way because they're so technically oriented and then.

36:18.67

Max Shank

It's basically any labor where someone else tells you what to do, but you don't have to sweat very much.

36:21.82

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and you just have to you have to like you're probably working on a computer and it's not creative work. It's I'm moving things from over here to over here bookkeeping accounting. You're just following the rules. Not really thinking too much.

36:34.29

Max Shank

Maybe even in a factory in like a factory if you're not really like digging ditches but you're moving machinery around and you're manning the loom or something like that. That's a little more technical than digging a ditch. But yeah I follow.

36:39.60

mikebledsoe

Right.

36:46.32

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and then creative labor that may be copywriting that would be ah writing a book writing music. Whatever it is and then the level above that is interpersonal. That's leadership sales. That's things.

36:53.10

Max Shank

Writing a book creating a video series.

37:05.85

mikebledsoe

Involve relationships. That's the highest value skills to acquire and so um, it is the hardest skill because it's ah if you think about it. Ah these skills the skills that are most focused on in school.

37:12.90

Max Shank

It seems like the hardest skill to me too.

37:25.61

mikebledsoe

People are developing is really technical ability and so it's really, you're really being trained to be a worker. Not really someone who's gonna be creative. It's so funny when I hear people you know, be concerned about Homeschool kids not getting the right level of socialization but I look at.

37:27.30

Max Shank

Um, if.

37:45.48

mikebledsoe

The level relating skills that people have going to public schools fucking shit and it's like I'm like what what do you mean? their social skills. They can't lead. They don't know how to you know they don't know how to date.

37:59.31

Max Shank

They can't manage their own emotions. How are they gonna have a chance of managing somebody else's it's absurd. Don't get me started on the school thing. We'll ruin the whole podcast the worst twelve year investment you can make oh god.

38:03.31

mikebledsoe

Can't manage their own. Ah. Ah.

38:13.11

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah so ah, coming from 1 guy who who went to school another guy who didn't but um, we both agree. Ah yeah, so so I think you know with what you were saying you know there's there's skills. Was it you said Ah, it was movement skills and and verbal. Yeah, so if you look at the interpersonal if you look at the interpersonal which is the highest value you have to communicate. Well it comes down to communication whether you're doing sales or you're in a leadership position. It has to do with.

38:34.71

Max Shank

Yeah, it's verbal and physical. Basically yeah.

38:52.10

mikebledsoe

Are you able to tell people and have a conversation a you got to be a good listener and then B can you can you? then? what your your output side of the communication is that landing in a way that that is that matches your intention. Because what I find is most people they talk and then the other person completely interprets it in a way that was unintended and neither party knows what to do about it that usually is what results in most conflict.

39:21.49

Max Shank

Ah, well I call it a catalytic communication did what you did your communication yield The result that you wanted was it a catalyst for the result that you were after and if you have that it's Amazing. I mean look the average person talks like they're just practicing talking. They don't know like why they're saying what they're saying they like heard something and they're like oh it's my turn to talk for a while now and like I heard about this and like but like catalytic communication like does it yield.

39:42.63

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah I think.

39:58.11

Max Shank

Result that you had intended that is super high skill and high leverage and if we think about the word leverage we have to be clear about what we mean by that. Do we mean the highest ah result or the highest benefit per unit of time. Do we mean the highest. Ah. Benefit per per per calories because that's another way way we could measure it. That's why language is so crazy because we're all just saving tons of calories. That's why we can like sleep in a big comfy bed instead of hunting will de beastenship and then you also have ah leverage for.

40:31.40

mikebledsoe

Fucking Well at least.

40:37.11

Max Shank

Money So you have leverage for time leverage for money and leverage for calories and ah language is all of those.. That's why that's what drove the dot Com bubble. That's what has driven um these different softwares because software is language and it is. A series of conditional phrases. Let's call I'm like about to leave my circle of competence here basically but basically um, intellectual leverage is when less explains more or when less can do more.

40:59.49

mikebledsoe

Oh.

41:16.54

Max Shank

And if you have a really slick piece of software you can perform the work. You can save the calories of you know millions of people having to do the job instead and now it's replaced with a computer program which is just ah rules. Ah, using language that's incredible.

41:37.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, and that's such a good example of how that's being utilized the there's a guy named John Vervaki I think ah, it's it's Dr. John Vervakki's ah he's like a philosopher. Ah, doctor of philosopher philosophy from up in Canada I forget which school he's got a 30 hour series on on Youtube called awakening from the meaning crisis and what's so cool about that series is he is. He walks you through the evolution of consciousness through history and so there's this handoff between basically where the hebrews and the ah like the hebrews and transfers into the greeks and say why like. Up and to that point hebrew culture was at the pinnacle of of ah of consciousness and then the greeks came along and then made a lot of improvements upon it and part of it was was that fluency increased so the style of the language actually became. Easier to understand to the average person and so there's a lot of research that that shows that if you can increase fluency you increase believability and so 1 example of this is if. If you're reading something the fluency of what's written on the page is gonna impact the believability of it so did a study of people that were reading something that was black on white and then they were reading like orange on white and they're reading. So they were tested afterwards because if there's not as much contrast on visually it decreases the fluency. It slows them down all this stuff and the believability of the statements was even when they were not true at all were rated much higher.

43:38.66

Max Shank

Oh yeah.

43:48.93

mikebledsoe

When there was more contrast and so the and so they've they've done a lot of studies where they're measuring the fluency the ability to Comprehend. What's being said and the faster you can comprehend it the more believable. It is so increasing is just an argument For. Or a suggestion towards increasing your fluency your ability to communicate in a way that others can receive it easily is going to make a huge difference.

44:16.49

Max Shank

Man and that speaks volumes to the whole idea of catalytic communication where the goal is to get the other the person on the other end of that communication to take a specific action. So if I'm talking to you I'm doing it for you I'm gonna try to gear it. As much as possible so that you can understand it as well as possible as clearly as possible and that's where stuff like eye relief comes in. You know if you have just this gigantic intimidating block of text. Ah, that's going to reduce the fluence here. That's going to reduce the understandability. Of it if you use a bunch of ah you know, fancy $10 words that's going to be a limiting factor for the other person's ability to understand so it's a big difference between writing for yourself and writing for your audience so they can take a specific action.

45:11.15

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think this is a great place to talk about the people who want more authenticity like I want ah authentic Expression. You know I want to be able to go On. You know I talk to coaches. I Want to be able go on social media and speak my truth and then that's what should bring me my clients. That's what this and that and and I watch it this. This is really big amongst I'd say more often women are are wanting this more than the guys is there's this.. There's this belief that. Authentic expression means saying whatever the whatever you want. However, you want and expecting to get a result from other people and as if that's the best way to communicate and ah and I always challenge people hey authentic.

45:53.10

Max Shank

Ah.

46:04.46

mikebledsoe

Expression or being sincere or genuine doesn't mean that you say whatever you is come to your mind in it in in a way that you want to be heard and understood Now you're you're speaking So the air the person can receive it so be Authentic. Don't lie be authentic, but keep it inside of the scope of how the person's going to receive that information. That's the best way to be authentic because if they can't receive it then they're not actually experiencing your authenticity. They're just experiencing confusion. And so I think that these are 2 things that need to be helped speak your truth and while also considering and taking the responsibility for how other people are going to receive it because the people who don't do that are really confused about why they may. Be isolated or they feel alone even though they're expressing themselves.

47:01.16

Max Shank

Well plus I mean should we really be so attached to this idea of authenticity I mean the older I get I swear every year I just look back and go God I was such a fool like I was an idiot I didn't know anything and. So the audacity of thinking Well I should just be able to talk. However I want to talk and like you said, expect that to convert whether it's like sales or believers or whatever let the authenticity come from your core belief.

47:29.73

mikebledsoe

Ah, no.

47:36.83

Max Shank

The authenticity is the core belief that hey you should do 5 minutes of exercise every morning boom that's my core belief but then from there don't just talk the way you would at a bar with a bunch of like old sailors or something like if you're. Clear on who your audience is communicate it in a way that will give them the best possible chance of taking the action. The authenticity is in your mission not in your like learned turn of phrase I mean most people learn how to communicate so badly. Like I said they're just waiting for their turn to talk. They just want to make noise and have people listen to it. So ah sometimes it works though sometimes ah people find it really funny or endearing or like oh yeah, that guy you know says the f- word a lot and ah. It's it's funny in a way you know sometimes that happens but man the best leverage communication is when you really understand your audience and you communicate directly to them and the better you understand the avatar of your audience and the more you speak directly to them.

48:41.86

mikebledsoe

Um.

48:53.50

Max Shank

The more leverage your communication is going to have.

48:54.16

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and I also want to point out that a lot of self-expression that I witness when people are are I'm expressing myself is usually a wound that is expressing itself. Yeah, it's not. It's not them. It's like yeah if it was you that was expressing yourself.

49:06.81

Max Shank

It's pain body. Yeah, totally.

49:14.47

mikebledsoe

We'd You'd be coming it sound a lot more like Love. We'd be experiencing love when you spoke but ah it and and it it could be something. But if you're speaking like absolute truth a lot of people aren't ready to hear that type of thing. But. Most people who are that I hear that are really are valuing self-expression of a high degree. Usually yeah, it's their pain Body. It's a wound.. It's an emotional wound from their childhood that that's wanting to speak up and you can spot it because they actually act like a child.

49:33.35

Max Shank

Ah, yeah.

49:49.95

mikebledsoe

You know they they might stomp around they hoff and puff they may throw something. Ah you know they they they're acting like things aren't Fair. You know all you know kids do behave differently but you can now that people hear this. When you watch people interact and they get emotional just watch how childlike their behavior becomes and that's how you can spot if it's a wound or if they're coming from Love and these are you know a wound is just going to fracture love and it's and it's going to be make it unrecognizable. Um. So you know on um, on one side you have the crowd that's got self-expression as a high value on the other side and when we we cycle between the two as we develop the other one is self-sacrificed.

50:33.64

Max Shank

How about value as a high value how about values and value. You know that's what we talked about this in the school episode. You know what you want to teach someone is values and what you want to teach them how to create is value.

50:48.59

mikebledsoe

Right? um.

50:50.44

Max Shank

And if you're focused on delivering value then the last thing you're going to do is bring your own emotional garbage and baggage into it that you've accumulated over the years I mean look most adults are still children. They're old and they don't move as quick. But they they don't act any different than a child What they know a few more words. Ah and their their lives are like a little worse I mean I I get it like I I totally understand. But if you are focused on like crying out for attention rather than delivering value.

51:09.37

mikebledsoe

I I agree.

51:28.45

Max Shank

The person on the other end of that communication. Don't be surprised that you don't get as good a result as the person who is trying to be a catalyst for that audience. It's like ah yeah, don't be surprised.

51:44.80

mikebledsoe

Yeah there's ah one of my mentors I was ah ah went to one of his ah weekend workshop with him about six months ago and he said on a post it on his on his monitor. The question is what is value. And he said meditate on that and always keep that in mind it's ah it's very deep and what is value changes over time and or changes depending on situationally you know what's what's value bull. What is value.

52:21.52

Max Shank

It's bottled water at the north pole or bottled water at Coachella on the third day I mean that's that's how you figure out what value is.

52:29.85

mikebledsoe

True that I think I spent about fifty bucks one day on water at Coachella it was that yeah those mushrooms those mushrooms made me thirsty man who.

52:35.93

Max Shank

Um, and it was worth every penny wasn't it because you're still here and alive.

52:45.15

Max Shank

So I think that's a ah good question to meditate on is like what value are you delivering and if you're not delivering value in some way because look exposing like real truth that may be uncomfortable is.

53:03.89

mikebledsoe

Oh.

53:04.18

Max Shank

Valuable but to the right audience and what's valuable to 1 audience might be worthless or actually destructive to another audience and understanding that value like you said changes based on the situation and based on the individual.

53:18.64

mikebledsoe

Yeah, and a lot of things that you may value. No one else values and I see a lot of people out there that are upset that no one values The same thing they value and and can't understand why they're not making money and you. It's usually the starving artist and so you you really really need to think about what's the how do other people perceive value and then not only that I know a lot this. This is so true in the coaching industry I know a lot of coaches that possess.

53:38.36

Max Shank

Ah, the.

53:56.67

mikebledsoe

And incredible amount of value that never gets exposed to the right people and or to the to enough people and the reason is because they don't know how to communicate their value and they don't know how to connect the value that they can create to the pain and suffering. The people who need it most and there's it's really sad to watch somebody refuse to communicate appropriately and I was coaching a woman yesterday through ah we were going through a 10 year vision exercise and. She's so good at what she does and she goes but I hate sales I go how selfish of you the look on her face the look on her face was like what the fuck did you just say to me and I go wow you you just told me that.

54:40.79

Max Shank

Ha ha.

54:52.52

mikebledsoe

So many people would benefit from where and you're not willing to meet them where they're at people who need coaching people who need someone to help them out. They are so they have been sitting with this pain. They've been trying to solve this problem for so long. They can't find the solution. They've tried a hundred different things. And you're refusing to come tell them about it and and show them how it could benefit their very specific situation and so we got to turn that one around and ah yeah I hope that anyone hearing this that that strikes a chord for those who need to hear it.

55:26.73

Max Shank

I Think that's probably because I've heard that example, a lot the selfishness of not selling your solution and the hilarious part is that you are actually selling her on liking selling. So you are communicating to her in a way that will actually resonate and because usually the people who shy away from selling they they don't want to be greedy right? That's like the last thing they want they they they want to is.

55:58.53

mikebledsoe

Well, they don't want to be perceived as greedy. That's different.

56:05.80

Max Shank

Exactly right? That's a very good point. Ah, and maybe they're also afraid of being rejected but when you change that frame psychologically I mean look imagine if she puts out twice as many offers from that you know 10 minute conversation whatever it is. Think of the leverage of that 10 minutes because now she's at least doubled and is probably going to have an exponential increase rather than a linear one. So. That's that's what we're talking about is the power of leveraging language so practicing language. That's a ah, high leverage habit I don't think there is a higher one actually you know and do it low tech because we didn't even get into all the stuff that stops you from doing these good things I mean there are a million traps. There are like cute cats and tits on the screen any time that you want them. So it's hard to say no to those that there's alcohol you can get alcohol delivered to the House. You can get drug like different drugs delivered to you. Um, it's insane. Ah.

57:13.33

mikebledsoe

Um, anything is possible folks.

57:17.51

Max Shank

So I think at least for me. Yeah, if I'm hungry I Just slide my finger across my magic telephone and food arrives Can you imagine describing that to your great-grandparents eating dinner by candlelight.

57:33.50

mikebledsoe

My guys.

57:36.75

Max Shank

And then me and then me also saying how unfair life is.

57:40.36

mikebledsoe

Um I can't believe that you gave me this this place this this world we live in the baby boomers fucked us up. It's like right got pretty fucking good.

57:50.21

Max Shank

Ah, yeah, you forgot my extra ranch you son of a bitch. So Anyway, there are a lot of traps and that's why I think with. Language if you can use a pen and paper to contain your ideas in ah like a one- pageish format where you have a big idea you have some arguments of why you have. An explanation of what will happen if you take this good action because we could do a whole episode on how to craft an offer but all communication is basically that so I would go low tech high effect. Avoid the distractions get out the Notebook and a pen. Get clear on who you're sending the message to what the ideas expand on the idea have a specific call to action at the end and practice organizing your ideas that way because that's going to allow you to think better. Most communication is an argument and it's too bad.

58:48.67

mikebledsoe

I.

59:06.29

Max Shank

Arguments are seen in such a negative light because arguments are actually quite fun. You have a claim and then you have some supporting evidence or supporting ideas and yeah, hopefully or.

59:19.10

mikebledsoe

Hopefully.

59:22.66

Max Shank

Or here's a big trap that I think I've talked about a million times. The only like 99% of the arguments that you see people make are logical fallacies that only attack or prop up the arguer. And they have nothing to do with the argument. Basically you have appeal to authority which is trust god completely don't even question his argument and then you have ad hom in him attack which is this guy is the Devil. Don't even listen to his argument. And if you look at the things that people argue about that's what it's usually about we trust this guy completely or we hate this guy so much. We're not even going to listen to what this fucker says. So if you can avoid those 2 logical fallacies. No the whole thing like everything everything I mean.

01:00:07.69

mikebledsoe

The entire Covid debate.

01:00:16.85

Max Shank

If I ever run for office just rest assured that my opponent is a racist pedophile and that will be the only thing I run the whole time. It will just be character assassinational because that's the world that we're living in people are living in their limbic system. They're just like. Ah I hate you? Ah I love you save me and so it it makes arguments not that fun. Ah whereas a good argument with acclaim and supporting points and a back and forth of. Ah, evaluating the ideas. That's why a cooperative argument or discussion is so exciting because instead of 2 people who are just trying to prove themselves right? I don't give a fuck if I'm right I care if we are ultimately right like if you have a great idea. I want to know that your idea is better and profit from that and that's like the the cooperative discussion conversation argument and that's where the real gold is if you get stuck with like I'm just trying to express myself yourself probably sucks I mean mine does most of the time. So. It's better to focus on what is like ultimately the most valuable rather than like just try to support what you already believe.

01:01:38.68

mikebledsoe

Love it. Feels like a good ending anything else. You want to add before we roll.

01:01:46.24

Max Shank

I Don't know I was I was enjoying yelling there maybe um.

01:01:48.20

mikebledsoe

You you're all red you were on the rip. You know what? I'll do my closing dots I'll let you do yours? You know this show is really just an excuse for max and I to get our rants out. To save our our romantic partners from as much pain and suffering as possible. Ah, you know we we walked into this conversation looking at high leverage habits and addictive actions. I only think we got no addictive actions much but high leverage habits for sure and you know the the number 1 thing.

01:02:07.41

Max Shank

I.

01:02:24.72

mikebledsoe

That ah max and I agreed on which it needs to be done first that is take personal responsibility in anything in which you don't you're not experiencing freedom or power in your life is due to a lack of of taking responsibility for that. So if there's something that's not going the way you like it. Go look at where you can take personal responsibility and from there you can you know work on you know self-esteem and creating boundaries and all that stuff and then on the ah so we kind of. We we did split it up. Max Max did a great job of this is saying there's like psychological and physiological housekeeping so that would be on the psychological side on the physiological we got into you know, sleep being one of the biggest indicators. The quality of the sleep. You're getting what you're how you're waking up. Um. And all that and then oh yeah, the last thing to mention on ah that I want to throw in there to remind everybody that I want that I got out of this conversation is ah when forming new habits really looking at the the who and the why the identity and the purpose those are the things they're gonna. Are high leverage things to ah to use when you're starting new habits.

01:03:42.80

Max Shank

Yeah that's great I think of those as the first dominoes like everything else kind of falls into place when you have your mission and identity lined up. Um I don't think I have too much to add. Actually I think you put it together very nicely. The reality is most people will not take the action and that's okay, like you you don't want to think of it as an all or nothing kind of thing if you get 10 % of the people who hear your message to take a better action toward their.

01:04:13.20

mikebledsoe

Um.

01:04:21.69

Max Shank

Psychological physiological housekeeping and start practicing those high-leverage skills and those are mostly language and then also ah physical like body language and athleticism and things like that. So if anyone tells you it's complicated. Definitely not. Humans are complex creatures but they are ah very tightly organized sometimes their thoughts are a little bit muddled and that makes it very difficult for people. There are unlimited distractions and drugs available to you some of them come through ah a screen full Of. Red Green and blue tiny lights that can show you all kinds of weird stuff. Some people use ah food and different drugs to desensitize ah and as far as that goes. There's ah, there's a quote I heard ah in nor Mcdonald's book. He goes I was at the psychologist psychiatrist and she said that I use gambling to avoid the realities of life and he goes. That's why everyone does everything.

01:05:36.74

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah, that sounds about right I Where can people find you? What do you want to tell people you're up to right now because you're always up to something.

01:05:37.19

Max Shank

Ah.

01:05:45.77

Max Shank

Um, sometimes I'm up to nothing which is actually a big lesson for this podcast. It's okay to do nothing I feel like that's actually a high level skill now is if you can just sit quietly for 10 minutes how far we've come.

01:05:50.33

mikebledsoe

Ah, that's true.

01:05:57.60

mikebledsoe

Oh that's and that's ah I think you're right about that that is a high lever skill.

01:06:05.91

Max Shank

I'm releasing a new I'm releasing a new e course called how to sit still for 10 minutes.

01:06:11.71

mikebledsoe

I'm gonna I'm gonna do a I'm gonna hold a retreat. It's a meditation fasting retreat. We're gonna do and say nothing. Yeah, no, no, it's $10000 well but we we'll do yeah lower lowerhead for me. Ah.

01:06:19.57

Max Shank

It's a very low overhead. Oh for you.

01:06:28.63

mikebledsoe

We will. We will be in a mansion and we won't enjoy any of it because our eyes will be closed and we'll be just sitting there doing nothing. Yeah.

01:06:34.60

Max Shank

I like it. Yeah I got ah I got a few projects I'm working On. Um, if you want something habit related check out Primal Athleticism on my website. It's basically the ultimate in physical housekeeping from an exercise standpoint to. Modular daily practice. It's awesome. Um I got a few secret projects I'm working on so http://macshank.com at Mashank Thanks for listening guys.

01:07:00.47

mikebledsoe

Who mystery ah go check out http://thestrongcoach.com/summit I am holding a summit here in Austin Texas March third through seventh and I rented out a summer camp. It's gonna be part burning man part. Summer Adult Summer camp part fitness seminar part business conference I think there's another part in there I'm forgetting about but we're gonna have a really good time and I'm a big fan of creating experiences that are both educational and fun because as if you don't know already. That if you mix play into your education. You can learn up to 20 times faster that came from a peer reviewed research study so you know don't f with me. Love y'all.

01:07:48.87

Max Shank

F that peer review f that peer review. Study play is the original form of education later bro. Love you.

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